Gravity (Free Falling) (33 page)

         
“Shut up, Angel!”

        
  As we laughed I could see three more cars pull up in the driveway through the glass on the front door.  My heart sank again.  Before I could get to my feet Daddy was already at the door.  This was not the way I’d envisioned this happening.  I was stuck in place.  My feet wouldn’t move.  Daddy pulled the door open and I was relieved that it was just another group of family members.  They were coming in droves. The house was livening up with laughter and the men cheering as they watched the game. 

         
My eyes drifted down to the floor as I tried to steady my breathing.  Angel tapped me on my knee.  “Two more cars just pulled up in front of the house.”

        
I felt butterflies in my stomach and the urge to throw up was even stronger now.  I moved slowly toward the door, reaching for the knob while I was still about ten feet away from actually touching it.  Angel was already right beside me.  I saw three figures walking up the steps and onto the porch.  Angel’s face lit up again.  My hand was shaking as I pulled the door open.

         
When my eyes met AJ’s I could hardly move.  He flashed his award winning smile and I still couldn’t budge an inch.  Angel pushed me out of the way and came from behind the door, reaching her hand out to shake AJ’s

          “Hi
, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Angel, Sammy’s cousin.”

         
“Nice to meet you too.  I’m AJ”

         
I pulled myself together and moved aside so that AJ, Deanna, and Karl could come in.  AJ was carrying a small silver gift bag and Deanna was clutching an envelope in her hands.  As I shut the door I turned to look at daddy who hadn’t noticed our new arrivals yet.  Just then, mom stepped into the foyer.

          “
AJ, it’s good to see you again.  I’m glad your family didn’t mind sharing you with us for the holidays.”

         
He smiled back at her as she embraced him.  She was so loud that Daddy turned to look in our direction.  My mind was telling me to run upstairs and hide under my bed, but my feet wouldn’t move.  My father’s expression went from shocked to enraged in a matter of seconds.  I watched him turn red as Mom stood there talking to my friends.  Her hand was still on AJ’s arm distinguishing him from the rest of the group.  Daddy had figured it out.  His eyes turned to me, his teeth clenched, and his nostrils flared before turning to leave the room.  Reluctantly, I followed him to his study leaving my guests behind at the door.  When I reached the doorway he was pacing with his hands on his hips, looking up at me when I entered the room. 

          “I want him gone. 
Now!”  He insisted.

         
I closed the door behind me to prevent anyone from hearing.  “Daddy, you haven’t even given him a chance.  What has he done wrong to you that you won’t even try to get to know him?”  I asked. 

He ignored my question.  “I’m not gonna allow this.  What were you
thinking
about, Samantha?  You have no business with that boy!  Did you really think that I was gonna let this go on?  Let me tell you what guys like him do.  They get with girls like you that don’t know any better.  They get you into bed and use you all up. Then, they leave you
BY YOURSELF
and they find them a nice young girl of their
OWN RACE
who hasn’t been ran all through and they settle down with HER.  Not you.”

         
It felt like there was a lump in my throat.  “AJ’s not like that, Daddy,” I said in a voice so low that it was almost a whisper.

         
He laughed to himself as he tried to suppress his anger.  “Oh, really?  And how can you be so sure?”  He asked

         
I couldn’t explain myself, so I just ignored his question.  “I’m not making him leave.” 

          “Samantha
Lenise Kelley, this is
my
house, not yours.”

         
Just then, Mom walked in with a concerned look on her face.  “What’s the problem?” She asked as she closed the door behind her.

          “Daddy wants me to make
AJ leave and I’m
not
doing it,” I replied with a hint of hostility in my tone.

         
He moved toward me with his fists balled up, but my mother intercepted.  “Now James, I know you’re not suggesting that someone isn’t welcome in our home because of their race.  Are you?”

         
Mom and I both stared at him waiting for his response.  Daddy was fuming.  My heart was fluttering uncontrollably in my chest.  When he didn’t respond, Mom continued.  “We didn’t raise Samantha to hate or judge
anybody
.  She really likes this boy and there must be a reason behind that.  Now, if you’d stop being silly about this whole thing you might even find that he’s a nice young man.”

         
She moved toward him slowly and put her hands on his shoulders.  His gaze shifted to me and he stared intently for what seemed like forever.  “I’m not going to tell you again.  Tell that boy to get out my house!”  Daddy yelled at the top of his lungs.

          “No!”  I scream
ed back loud enough to match his volume.

        
His eyes narrowed and he moved toward me swiftly.  Before I could react, he struck me with the back of his hand, hurling me to the floor.  I felt my cheek begin to sting instantly.  Mom grabbed him and restrained him in the corner of the room while he calmed down.
 
I hadn’t even had a chance to really let everything soak in before Angel came in and put her arms around me without saying a word.  If I know Angel, she was standing by the door listening to every word anyway, so there wasn’t anything to fill her in on.  She helped me to my feet and I rested my head on her shoulder, trying to get myself together as she continued to hug me.  I’d expected Daddy to disapprove, but I definitely didn’t expect for him to be
this
angry. 

        
Angel released me from her grasp and grabbed my hand as she led me out of the room.   AJ was sitting patiently on the steps waiting for me to return.  He had a look of concern on his face as they watched me approaching.  Apparently noticing that I was holding my face, he rose to his feet quickly and walked to meet me in the middle of the foyer.

          “What happened?  Did he
hit
you?” He asked in a low voice.

         
I was too embarrassed to respond.  Instead I just looked down at the floor.  He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him protectively.  I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, but I didn’t turn around.  The talking in the living room subsided as AJ and I apparently became much more interesting to watch than the game.  I even saw Aunt Marie peer around the wall from inside the kitchen with a disappointed look on her face.

         
There were whispers coming from all around us.  “What’s
he
doing here?” was among the many questions that arose from the crowd.  “Has she lost her mind?” was another.  I couldn’t tell who was saying what, but that may have been because I was trying to block them out.

         
My uncle Ray was mumbling a few profane words to himself as he stared in our direction.  It was apparent that my father wasn’t the only one who didn’t like the idea of AJ and me.  As we stood there, the center of attention, I came to a decision.  I asked AJ to wait outside for me.  He was a little reluctant, but with clenched fists, he eventually turned and followed the others out without saying a word.  After I shut the door behind them I turned abruptly to look at the faces of each of my family members.  I was disgusted.  I rolled my eyes and paced up the stairs with Angel close behind.  We retreated to my room and shut the door.

          “What are you gonna do?
”  She asked.

         
I was already out of my dress and pulling on a pair of jeans.  I raked a comb through my curls and pulled it up in a ponytail on my way to the closet to take out my tote bag.  I threw in a change of clothes, pajamas, and my toothbrush.  Angel watched me curiously waiting for me to respond. 

      
   “I have to get out of here,” I explained as the tears started flowing down my face.  Without another word she began to pack a bag for herself.  I stared at her questioningly.

          “If you leave,
then I leave,” she responded to the unasked question in my head.

          “But won’t
your parents be mad?”  I asked

          
She looked at me like I was crazy.  “I’m twenty years old and I haven’t lived at home for almost two years now.  They’ll get over it.”

          
I waited while she changed into more comfortable clothing and then we walked down the stairs and went straight for the door.  My mom rushed over to me. 

          “Where are you going, Samantha?”  She asked.

          I looked into her eyes caringly, but didn’t answer.  I went out the door and saw my friends still waiting outside.  Behind me, I heard daddy yell my name.  “Samantha.  If you leave outta here tonight, don’t think about coming back.”

          One last tear escaped as I looked back at him and found
my strength.  I turned away and put my bag in the trunk while Angel kissed her mother on the cheek and then climbed into the passenger seat. She waited while I walked to AJ’s car.  When I focused in on his face, his expression was filled with sadness, but I knew that it wasn’t his own misery that I was seeing; he felt
my
pain.  He stepped out of the car and met me halfway down the driveway. 

         “D
o you need to stay at the guesthouse for a while?”  He asked.

         
I wanted to smile at his kind gesture, but I couldn’t.  Instead I just nodded before walking back to my car.  As I backed out I saw my mother standing on the porch with my Aunt Lisa’s arm around her.  I didn’t want to hurt her, but I
had
to go.  Hopefully she understood that.

Chapter Thirteen

          AJ and the others pulled off with Angel and me trailing behind, driving most of the way in silence.  Everything was happening so fast.  My father had never hit me a day in my life and I didn’t expect him to start on the day that I crossed over into adulthood.  My cheek felt hot to the touch as I pressed my cool hand to it.  Angel watched me as I tussled with my jumble of thoughts and emotions.  At this point they were all over the place.  She reached for my hand that was to my face and as she held it, I felt a lump forming in my throat as I fought the urge to cry again. 

          About ten minutes later we pulled up to the gate at the end of AJ’s driveway.  I heard Angel gasp when we drove past his house on the way to the guesthouse.  She sat with her mouth agape as I had when I first took it all in.  AJ stopped and motioned for me to go around him and park in the garage; I assumed that was to keep my car hidden.  Deanna approached me once we were inside the house.  She stared for a moment trying to think of something encouraging to say, but eventually gave up and leaned in to hug me.  “I talked to my mom and I told her that you needed me to keep you company tonight.  So Karl and I are gonna stay here too.”  I was grateful to have a friend like her during a time like this. 

         
I was a little embarrassed by my father’s behavior, but there was nothing I could do to change things.  Deanna piped up and attempted to lighten the mood.  “Hey, why don’t you come have a seat on the couch and open your presents?”  She asked as she pulled me to the living room. 

         
I wasn’t much in the mood for opening gifts and AJ must’ve sensed it.  “Why don’t we wait and do that tomorrow?  We’ll get cake and everything and do it the right way.”  Today had gone on long enough and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. 

         Deanna, Karl and Angel stayed up and watched movies
late into the night, but I needed to clear my head.  I was afraid to talk about everything that was going through my head, fearing that I’d start crying again.  AJ didn’t try to force any conversation out of me as he lay beside me in the large bed we’d slept in the last time.  I settled in at his side and rested my head on his shoulder.   No matter how much I fought it, I was again thinking about what happened.  It was still hard to believe that it even happened.  Growing up I always believed that a father was supposed to be the one who protected you from men who set out to hurt you.  And now, the very person who I’d always thought of as my hero turned out to be the villain. 

          That revelation hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt the sadness coming on again.  Without even knowing that I needed him,
AJ pulled me closer to him.  I closed my eyes as I felt him kiss me softly on my forehead.  Home wasn’t a safe haven to me anymore.  This made the thought of never leaving AJ more appealing than ever, but I knew that it wasn’t even a possibility right now.  I was almost startled by his voice when he spoke.

          “
You need to talk?”  He asked softly.

          “He’s never hit me before.  I didn’t think he’d
ever
do anything like that.  I can remember when I was younger and he used to treat me like I was his little princess.  Wherever he went I was right there with him.  I was daddy’s little girl.  Now, lately it’s like I can’t do anything right in his eyes.  I hate feeling like I disappoint him, but at the same time I’m tired of trying to please him all the time too.”  My eyes shifted away as I became embarrassed.  “I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

           “Don’t do that.”  He lifted my chin and stared at me intently.  “
Whenever
something’s bothering you I want to know about it.  Your problems are my problems and we’ll get through this together.  I’m not gonna try and pretend that I can relate to what you’re feeling, but I’ll do my best to be understanding.  I mean, if you can’t talk to
me
who can you talk to?”

         
AJ wanted to get inside my head, so I let him in.  He lay there and listened as I continued to explain my feelings, only offering me advice when I asked for it.  I did my best not to tear up again, but who was I kidding?  I cried like the whole event had just happened.  He held me as I spoke broken sentences in between sniffling.  After a while I completely gave in to the sobbing and stopped trying to speak altogether.  AJ didn’t say a word.  He just held me and let me get it all out of my system and that was exactly what I needed.  My tears flowed for an entire hour before I was able to pull myself together. 

          Talking to him helped me find some sort of resolve.  The theory that I came up with was that
my father wanted me to remain that same little girl that used to hang on his every word, but he seemed to have missed the part where I grew up.  When he finally started noticing changes in me, it was more than he could handle.  To him it must’ve seemed like those changes occurred overnight and he didn’t want to let me go.  When I thought of it this way it was hard to be as angry with him as I was before.  I was definitely still upset about our physical altercation, but I could understand how he must’ve felt.  I felt myself dozing in AJ’s arms.  In them, I felt like nothing could hurt me.

       
I slept there on him that way all night and awoke in the morning to him staring at me.  My initial reaction was to feel embarrassed, but his expression eased my worry.  It was almost as if he were admiring me as I lay there.  He leaned in and kissed me on my forehead.  I closed my eyes again and the image that flooded my mind was the memory of my father’s hand striking my face.  I was immediately reminded of the embarrassment, hurt, and anger that I felt the night before.  “I’m so sorry about my father.  I……I had no idea he……”

          “Don’
t apologize,” he interrupted.  “That wasn’t your fault.”

         
I found myself wishing that there was a way to rewind time, but then realized that it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway.  There was no chance that I would have changed one thing that led me to AJ.  I turned my face and kissed him once on his chest before getting up to take a shower.  He’d brought my bag upstairs the night before, so I dragged it behind me sluggishly.   

         
The sound of the running shower drowned out my thoughts, and I was grateful for that.  My face was pressed against the cool tile as the water run down my body.  The tears that I thought had dried up began to surge again as I stood there motionlessly.  My father’s words were swirling around my head like a hurricane wreaking havoc on my peace of mind.  They’d cut me pretty deep.  I thought of AJ proving daddy right one day.  I’d be lying if I said that his statement didn’t have me feeling a little troubled. 

Thirty minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom and
my whole body felt drained.  AJ was exactly where I’d left him.  I lay across the bed in my towel and stared at the sun’s light illuminating a small patch on the wall through the blinds.

          “
Your phone was going off in your pocket while you were in the shower.”

         
I rolled my eyes as I considered the possibility of it being my parents.  They were the last people I wanted to talk to, especially daddy.  I retrieved my phone and returned to AJ’s side before flipping it open to check my call log. 
Antonio
?  I immediately regretted laying so close to AJ because I was almost positive that he’d seen who it was.  Now, there wasn’t any point in hiding it, so I pushed send and returned the call.

         
It only rang once before Antonio picked up.

          “Hello?”  He answered
eagerly.

          “Hey.  I was in the shower w
hen you called.  What’s up?” I asked unenthusiastically.

         
He seemed to notice that I was being a little short.  “I was just callin’ to see how your birthday was.”

         
I was in no mood to talk about it, so I just made my answer brief and nondescript.  “Thanks for asking.  It was fine.”

         
He apparently misinterpreted my tone for anger.  “I would’ve called yesterday, but I figured you’d be with…..
him
, so I decided to wait until today to call.”  He paused.  “Is everything Ok?”

         
I sighed aloud.  “Yeah, everything’s fine.  It was just a long night.”  I glanced over at AJ who stared up at the ceiling expressionless. 
Could he hear everything Antonio was saying?
 

          “Well,
it sounds like you’re busy, so I guess I’ll just talk to you later,” he said abruptly with a hint of irritation in his tone.  He ended our conversation after that.  Later, when there were no spectators, I decided that I’d call him back and explain everything to him. 

          When I turned back over,
AJ lifted my chin and stared at my face.  I saw sorrow fill his eyes as he gently rubbed my bruised cheek.

          “I sti
ll can’t believe he hit you,” he said in a low voice.

          “That makes two of us.” 

          We laid there for a while, holding one another while we thought of the night before, but dared not speak of it. When he got up to leave so that he could go running and shower I could see that he was still thoughtful.  My misconstrued conversation with Antonio came back to me and I reached for my phone and dialed his number shortly after AJ left.  I wanted to clear things up with him right away. 

         
“Yeah?”  He answered.

         
I could hear in his voice that I’d definitely pissed him off.  “Sorry about that.  I had a really difficult night.”

          
He sighed.  “It’s cool, but how did you manage to have a bad day on your birthday?”

          “My father has the ability to turn
any
day into a bad day,” I sighed.

          “You two got into it again?”

          “Something like that,” I replied flatly. 

          “
Are you sure you’re ok?”  I could hear in his tone that he was genuinely concerned.

          “Yeah, I
’m fine.  I don’t really wanna get into it right now; it was pretty bad.  Maybe we’ll talk about it later.”

         
“How about over dinner?  It’s about time we hung out again anyway,” he suggested,
completely
catching me off guard.  “Don’t worry, I mean as friends, Sam.”  His words reminded me of the last time we’d ‘hung out’.  There was
no
way I was going to fall into that again.

          “I don’t know if
that’s a good idea.  Last time…”

         
Antonio interrupted.  “It doesn’t have to be like last time.  I just wanna do something nice for you for your birthday.”  He laughed a little.  “Unless you
want
it to be like last time, then it’s whatever.”  I found myself immediately uncomfortable discussing our kiss.  This was the first time it had ever come up since it happened.

          “Give me some time to think about it.  I’ll let you know.”

          “Alright.  But seriously, we’ll just be going as friends,” he assured me.  When we ended our call I tried to imagine us going out just as friends. 
Was it a possibility? Or would there be another stain forever on my relationship with AJ?

         
I’d nearly forgotten about Angel this morning.  In a rush to check on her, I pulled myself up off the bed and got ready for the day.  I went into the bathroom to do something to my hair and I was startled by the size of the deep purple bruise on my face.  I forced myself to look away, quickly pulled my hair up in a messy bun and hurried out of the bathroom. 

            
After cleaning up behind myself, I went down to join the others.  I didn’t see Karl which probably meant that he’d joined AJ on his run.  Deanna was busy fixing breakfast for everyone.  Apparently she and Angel had become fast friends last night while I slept.  They were talking and laughing with one another when I entered the kitchen.  Angel turned to look my way when she heard my footsteps. 

          “Good morning.  How you feel?”  She asked caringly. 

          “Better,” I replied, which was only partly true. 

         
When she caught sight of my cheek she was on her feet and nearly running toward me.  “I had no idea that he’d hit you so hard.  If I didn’t think he could take me I’d lay him out myself.  Uncle or not.”

             
Angel motioned for me to take the seat next to her and I did.  She put her arm around my shoulders and hugged me gently.  I couldn’t express how much I appreciated her for having my back the way she did which made me sad to think of her leaving next week. 

         
A couple hours passed before AJ and Karl returned.  I was off the couch almost instantly to meet him at the door.  It was such a huge relief to be in his arms again, so I allowed myself to enjoy the moment – that is until it was interrupted.

          “My parents know that you’re here
,” he whispered into my ear.  I looked at him curiously, unsure how I should react.