Harder (15 page)

“No problem.” He sticks his hands in his pockets.

“How can you put up with this? I’m so confusing,” I say.

He shrugs. “I’m a patient person?”

I grin. “That’s good. Just don’t think patience is enough to change my mind.”

“Hm,” he says.

“I mean it.”

I think I see a hint of an eye roll as he goes back to the driver’s side.

“Bye Ally,” he says as he gets in.

“Bye.” I wave at him as he pulls away.

I wish I was an Emily. I wish I was born to wear pink and soft things, and not black and gray and everything hard. But I am what I am. Ryan doesn’t fit in my world, and I don’t fit in his. His parents would probably have a heart attack if he brought me home in ‘that’ way.

Still, it’s kind of a nice thought. Going home with someone like that. Meeting the parents. Having parents.

I shake my head, for the fiftieth time today. Stop it Ally.

Just stop.

Chapter 11

Heads turn as Ryan and I walk into training the next day. It’s an orientation for new employees. We tend to have a high turnover rate, so a few weeks into the summer, we hire a few more, then train them all at once.

I hold my head high and walk slightly ahead of Ryan into the guard room to get my stuff and get changed. I can feel eyes following us. Probably wondering how we came in together if we didn’t go home together last night. But we did go home together last night.

Ryan opens the locker next to me. He’s quiet again, like he usually is at work.

“You have an extra polo?” I ask.

He just looks at me, one eyebrow raised.

“I don’t have any clean ones.”

He nods and hands me one, perfectly folded, and I pull it on over my tank. He shocks me by changing his shirt right there, and I’m too stunned to turn away. Plus, he’s my friend, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the same man candy anyone else would. He catches me staring and just smiles at me like there’s nothing wrong with it.

It just doesn’t seem like there’s any way I can threaten him. He walks out ahead of me, and I pull his shirt up to inhale the nice clean laundry smell. I need to find out what detergent he uses. It’s awesome.

I catch up to him, pulling my whistle over my head. “Want to do that signal training today?”

He stops, thinks for a minute, then shakes his head. “I think we’re training with the front desk today. Pete’s going to be doing a general orientation.”

“Oh. Right. Still, I can’t wait to do that training. Such a good idea.”

“Thanks,” he says simply, walking ahead again.

I like the look of his back, how it tapers down to his slim hips and tight butt. I should not be noticing my friend’s tight butt. I want to test it with my hands. I can’t even believe how much I’m perving on him now that we’re supposed to be just friends. Maybe I really do like non-threatening, in a way.

I’ve already had threatening.

But Zach did know how to hit people. I flinch, thinking about it, then square my shoulders and focus on the room in front of us. It’s packed, and I pass Ryan to head to the back for a seat. They won’t be needing us.

I sit next to Amy. She smiles at me and touches my knee, and I can’t hear anything she says because everyone is talking, so I just nod at her, and that seems okay. Maybe Ryan has the right idea with this nodding and shrugging thing he has going.

I’m tired, because I didn’t sleep well last night, and as Pete gets up in front and tries to get everyone’s attention, I’m having a hard time not nodding off. Ryan comes back and takes the seat next to me, a seat others were probably too nervous to take. He clasps his hands and lean forwards slightly, head down.

His gorgeous hair swings forward over one shoulder. I still don’t know how I feel about that hair. It’s so him, but it’s almost like it’s a him from before, and doesn’t really match the dude I’m getting to know.

His head nods forward, and as the room quiets, I hear him breathing slowly and steadily. He’s asleep. I figure we’re in the back and no one can see, so I don’t wake him.

Pete is still trying to get our attention to introduce the new employees, and finally Rain stands up and blows a sharp double whistle, startling everyone into silence.

“That’s better,” Pete says. “Now let me introduce our newest employees, and soon-to-be members of the facility family.

I yawn and zone out. I already know the lifeguards because I was in on interviews. When he gets to the front desk staff, I pause. The world is suddenly in slow motion as I stare at the blonde in the middle of the line.

Emily.

I nudge Ryan, hoping to wake him without creating a scene. “Ryan, wake up,” I whisper.

He comes awake, slowly, groggily, rubs his eyes and looks around.

“Ryan, look.” I point up front.

People are starting to talk amongst themselves again so no one pays attention to me and Ryan.

“Is that?”

“Yeah.”

It’s Emily, all right. Pretty, shy, well dressed Emily. I wonder how old she is. I guess it’s like a sign or something, her being here. I mean, I did promise to help him date her, but I didn’t think we’d have a chance so soon. And the facility doesn’t have an issue with lifeguards mingling with the front desk staff.

Bit stalkerish of her though.

I have no excuses not to hook them up now, but the thought of her all over Ryan, kissing Ryan, makes me a bit ill. I chew my lower lip.

“Kinda weird that she’s gonna work here, huh?” I say.

“Maybe Amy recruited her,” Ryan whispers back. He doesn’t look any more pleased about it than I do. In fact, he looks a bit ill.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. Nothing,” he says. “I guess it’ll be easier for you to help me date her now, huh?”

“Yeah,” I say. “I don’t know though. Isn’t it a bit creepy that she wants to work with you? And showed up at the party?”

Ryan just raises one eyebrow at me and turns back to Pete, who has finished introductions. He has them sit down and then starts going over the same employee handbook shiz that the rest of us have heard several times over. Uniform, conduct, blah blah boring shiz.

I think I’d rather be in class, and I can’t sit still there either. Why am I even bothering with school? I’m going to end up a lifeguard or a grease monkey either way.

I bounce my foot and my thigh starts to go numb. Ryan goes to sleep again next to me. He must be really tired. I am too. I lean on Amy, who just grins at me and puts her hand in my hair. I don’t mind when she touches me. She’s sort of a mom to me, even though she’s younger.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” I lie. “What’s the deal with this Emily kid, following Ryan around?”

“Oh that,” Amy says, sitting up and sighing. “I guess it’s obvious, huh?”

“What is?”

“Seems like she has a huge crush on him. She’s been asking me about him. I don’t even know her that well, but she saw me here that day he pulled her out, and recognized me. I didn’t know she was going to apply here though. But she’s not a creep. I can promise you that.”

“Got something to share?” Pete booms at us.

Amy shakes her head, mortified, and I just give him my usual glare. He turns back to the packet, and I turn to Amy with a lower voice.

“So what’s her story?”

“I don’t know. Nice girl I guess. Little odd. Helpful though, like at the party.”

Pete’s probably gonna yell at us again, so I just nod and sit back, staring at the back of Emily’s pretty blonde head. I’ll have to investigate on my own. See if she’s really suitable.

Pete finishes and Knight and Rain get up and give a little spiel about the guard side of things. One of the front desk managers gives a little spiel about that the front desk, and working together and shiz. I study my nails.

We’re dismissed and people start to file out and get ready for the day. We open in an hour.

Ryan yawns, pats my knee, and stands to leave. Where’s Emily? I wasn’t paying attention, and she must have left. I stay with Amy, but keep looking for her.

I see her, just outside the door, just as Ryan reaches her. She smiles up at him and he looks like a deer in the headlights, but she takes his arm and pulls him forward.

She’s touching him. What? I’m expecting him to freak out but he just goes outside with her, lowering his head to listen to her. She says something, and he grins. She actually made him grin. I realize my jaw is tight and relax it. I don’t need teeth problems right now.

He looks back and locks eyes with me, and gives me a small thumbs up when Emily’s not looking.

My heart drops like a rock in a well. I guess he won’t need me after all. I stand up and find Rain.

“Can you get someone to fill my shift today?”

She eyes me, blue eyes wide and concerned. “Something wrong?”

“Nah, just behind on my homework.”

“You sure? I know you need shifts.”

“I know. But I’ve been working a lot. I’ll be fine. I need a break.”

“Sure. Someone will be happy for the hours. Let me know if there’s something else I can do to help.”

I nod, puzzled as to why she’s so nice to me. I mean, sure, I was elemental in helping her and Knight hook up, but I did kiss her boyfriend. Even if it was Ryan I was actually wanting to kiss.

I push my way through the crowd, ignoring complaints and greetings alike, until I get out onto the deck. Free at last. I walk into the guard room and pause and look out. I pull off Ryan’s shirt and stay just in my tank. I’m unsure if I should interrupt him to give it back. He’s still talking to Emily.

I decide to give it back. It’s the honorable thing. She sees me over his shoulder and stops whatever she’s saying before I can hear her. She eyes me warily, probably remembering how I was the other night.

“Hey,” I say, handing Ryan the shirt and reaching out a hand. “I’m Ally. I’m sorry about the other night. Nice to meet you. I supervise with Ryan.”

She nods, and gives me a tentative smile. Something really fragile about her. Something that makes me jealous, like she’s always been protected and still has fragile parts to her. Like she’s never had to be hard.

“I was just telling Ryan that it’ll be fun to be working here with everyone,” she says. “I need to get out more.”

“You need to learn to swim,” I say, more bluntly than I meant to. I grimace and put my hand on the back of my neck, trying to figure out how to get out of that one.

“I know. Maybe you could show me?” she asks nicely.

I bite my lip and feel my eyebrows furrow. My jaw is tense again. “Sure. When?”

Ryan shifts next to me and I look over to find him staring down at me, mild surprise in his eyes.

“I can be nice, don’t look so shocked,” I say gruffly. “It’s kind of offensive.” I grab Emily through the arm to walk out with her towards the doors that lead into the front desk area. I turn back to Ryan. “Also, I told Rain to get someone else to work today. I gotta catch up on school work.”

Ryan frowns, but can’t do anything but watch as I go.

Emily looks back wistfully, like she wishes she was staying with him instead of going with me.

“So, when?”

“When?” she says softly.

“When do you want to learn?”

“Um. I don’t know. When works for you?”

“Uh, I guess anytime there’s free swim.”

“Oh,” she says, biting her lip. “I was hoping we didn’t have to do it here.”

“Where then?”

“I don’t know.”

I think for a minute. “I guess we could try my place. There’s a pool outside my complex. Might not be too bad.”

“Doesn’t Ryan have a pool?”

“Huh?” How would she know that?

“He went to my school. I’m pretty sure his family has one. They’re loaded.”

“Huh.” I don’t know why, but I don’t like it. “Naw, let’s do my pool. You can come over tomorrow if you want. After work.”

She looks back in Ryan’s direction, then back to me with a sigh. “Okay. Sounds good.”

“Great.”

“I guess I should know how to swim if I’m going to work at a water park.” She shrugs her small shoulders. I kind of want to shake her and tell her to stop being so apathetic about everything. She better not be apathetic about Ryan if she wants me to approve of her with him.

I put my face in my hand, because I have no right to say anything like that. I give her my address and we swap phone numbers.

***

“Not like that,” I say for the millionth time as Emily sinks at the middle again, and I have to push up on her back to keep her floating. “Honestly chica, floating shouldn’t be this hard.”

She flails a little, then holds onto my arm to come to a standing position, breathing hard. I help her back to the wall. I haven’t had to be this careful since I taught kid swimming lessons. She kind of looks like a kid, with her small nose, rounded face, large eyes. Freckles.

It’s not that I dislike her, in fact, she tries hard and I respect that. I guess if I really dig deep, I’m kind of jealous of her. I just don’t know what kind of life leads someone to be like her. The opposite of me. Perfect for someone like Ryan.

She wipes water away from her eyes and uses the wall to creep back to the shallow end, to the stairs, where she sits, hands on her knees. She’s got a modest little one piece, I’m wearing a tank and board shorts, and a bikini underneath. Sporty and practical. A bit sexy too. This girl wouldn’t know sexy if it bit her on the ass. The thought makes me a little bit happy.

“I wasn’t always this bad in the water. My family lives not too far from Ryan’s. We had a pool too. I fell in when I was little. Ever since I’ve been terrified.” She lets out a deep breath and looks up at me with clear blue eyes. So honest.

What would it be like to be so honest? ‘Hey, this is what happened to me, and this is why I’m the way I am.’ I can’t fathom it.

“I’m sorry. But we gotta get you over that if you’re going to work at a water park.”

“I know, I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah.”

It’s our second week of lessons. I taught her once last week. She took me to lunch. I like her. Ryan seems to too.

“What do you think of Ryan?” she asks.

I wet my lips and lean back on my hands. I’ve been waiting for this question. “Good guy, why?”