Having My Baby (10 page)

“Sandy and I made the chili that’s supposed to be featured on next month’s cover,” she said into the receiver. “It tastes bland—not good at all. I need you to make the chili again, using the exact same recipe as soon as possible.” Her voice was lined with panic. “Yes, in the next few hours. Follow the directions to a tee and then bring it to me for a taste test. If it tastes anything like the concoction we made last night we’re in trouble.” She nodded her head. “Yes. I know I’ve thrown a lot at you in the past week, but I’m counting on you, Chelsey. Okay. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Jill clicked her cell shut and then leaned forward and let her forehead fall flat against the papers on the counter. She stayed that way for a good two minutes.

Derrick noticed her shoulders trembling. He stiffened. Was she crying? Looking around, he wondered what he should do. He had two sisters who rarely cried. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever seen his mother cry at all. Crying females made him nervous, made him feel awkward and helpless. Knowing he should comfort her, he inhaled and headed her way just as the fax machine beeped in the other room.

She must have heard it, too, because she was off and running before he could offer any sort of sympathy.
Saved by the beep
.

Ten minutes passed before Jill returned.

Derrick was sitting on the couch. Ryan was asleep in his arms.

Jill extended both arms toward him. “Okay, you can go. I’m ready to take my son now.”

A red nose and a slightly deranged look in her big green eyes convinced him not to question her authority. He handed Ryan over and then stood. Before she took two steps, Ryan was crying again. It wasn’t a hungry cry either, which he was proud to realize he already recognized. It was a long, high-pitched shriek that reached the core of his brain and made his teeth clench. Without a word spoken, Jill turned about and handed Ryan back to him. Jill’s head dropped, her chin hit her chest, and this time she cried in earnest, her shoulders moving in rhythm to her pitiful sobs.

With Ryan in one arm, he wrapped his other arm around Jill’s shoulder and pulled her in close, giving her no choice but to rest her head in the crook of his arm while he stroked her upper arm with the pad of his thumb. Before long, she relaxed and he only heard a couple of hiccups and a sniffle here and there.

Ryan wriggled in his other arm, but his son must have sensed now was not the time to fuss because he quickly settled down.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Jill said as she pulled away.

“I know exactly what’s wrong,” Derrick told her. “It sounds like you have a case of the ol’ baby blues.”

She raised a questioning brow, prompting him to gesture toward the book titled
A Mother’s Guide to Newborns
sitting on the coffee table. “I looked through it when you were in the other room taking care of business. It says new mothers are often overworked and deprived of sleep. It makes sense—little sleep together with all those hormones and emotions—excitement and joy one moment and then fear and anxiousness the next. It’s a wonder you moms survive this stage at all.”

She wiped her eyes. “Are you for real?”

He wasn’t sure how to answer the question, so he didn’t.

“Why aren’t you married?” she asked. Then she waved her hands in front of her as if erasing the question altogether. “Don’t get me wrong, I already know you’re far from perfect.”

Although he wasn’t sensitive when it came to name calling or character bashing, her statement did make him frown.

“Well, you did lie on your donor application and we’ve already determined that you can be pushy and overbearing,” she said between sniffles. “But you seem like an okay guy overall, so what’s the deal?” She hiccupped. “Were you married before? Do you have a fiancée waiting for you back at the Malibu home your brothers mentioned?” She plopped down in the cushiony chair facing the couch and lifted big fluffy pink slippers onto the ottoman. “Out with it. What’s really going on here?”

Holding Ryan close, Derrick took his time lowering himself to the edge of the couch, thinking about how he should answer the question. Under any other circumstance, he wouldn’t bother, but she was the mother of his son, a son he wanted to help raise. This was his chance to get to know Jill. He couldn’t blow it now. “I guess you could say I am married to football,” he said, knowing his reasoning might sound lame, but it was the truth. “I’m nearly thirty years old and so far my life has revolved around the game. Football gave me a chance to be close to my dad when he coached Pee Wee football.” Derrick took in a breath at the realization because it was the truth. With so many siblings, it wasn’t easy to get his father’s attention back then. “When some of my friends were getting into trouble in high school, football gave me a thrill like nothing else could. Playing in college and then in the NFL ended up being the icing on the cake. And,” he added thoughtfully, “I guess football has kept me busy, too busy to think about much else.”

She crossed her ankles. “Lots of famous football players have families.”

“True,” he said. “To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel if I found you and you were pregnant. But the moment I saw you standing behind the officer—” He looked down at Ryan. His eyes were open and he was staring at him, seemingly mesmerized. Derrick brushed his finger against the palm of Ryan’s tiny hand. “The moment I realized you might be carrying a child that was a part of me…I felt something I’ve never felt before.” He paused as he tried to formulate the words so he could better explain. “Let me put it this way—when I’m playing in a big game and I scramble around guys twice my size and then set and throw the ball across the field with pin-point accuracy, it’s like drinking a glass of cold fresh water after a day in the hot desert. It’s heaven. It’s indescribable.” Derrick marveled at Ryan’s small fingers wrapped around his finger. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that the moment I laid eyes on Ryan in the hospital I felt that same feeling—only it was different because the euphoric feeling didn’t go away after the crowd stopped cheering, so to speak. Holding Ryan and spending a little time with him, knowing he’s a part of me, has done something to me. It has made me think differently about life.”

He lifted his shoulders in a helpless shrug.

~~~

Jill felt all gushy and wishy-washy inside. Derrick’s moving speech had left her with a tight feeling in her chest. She laid her head back against her favorite chair and said, “I think I know what you mean.”

He looked relieved. “You do?”

She nodded. “Having Ryan has changed me too.” She didn’t want to say much more than that, didn’t want Derrick to know she didn’t feel a connection to Ryan yet, or that most of her thoughts these past few days were filled with doubt and fear. Her parents had always made her feel like second best, like she didn’t count. She didn’t know what it was like to be a part of a big loving family, but she knew that’s what she wanted for her and Ryan. The truth was, before Ryan was born, she’d planned on having at least two more children, which is why she’d bought and stored enough of Derrick Baylor’s semen to start a football team of her own. But nobody, including Derrick, needed to know that.

“Let me help you out,” he said after a quiet moment passed between them. “Until training begins, I have nothing better to do with my time.”

She wanted to tell him no, but nothing came out of her mouth. Every muscle in her body felt weak with exhaustion.

“Since I don’t want to be pushy and overbearing I won’t insist, but I think a shower and a long nap would do you wonders.”

He held her gaze for a long moment, long enough to make her wonder why she had allowed him into her apartment in the first place. The man was gorgeous to look at and he was nice, too. She looked like hell while he looked like he was ready for a photo shoot at
GQ
.

“Just a thought,” he added. “It’s your call.”

She stood and looked toward her bedroom before looking back at him. She knew she should ask him to leave, but a shower and a nap sounded too good to pass up. “You really wouldn’t mind?”

He shook his head. “I’m here to help. You can trust me.”

~~~

Thomas stood on one side of the mist-filled room and Derrick Baylor stood on the other. Thomas reached out a hand to her while Derrick merely winked. Thomas wore a perfectly fitted suit while Derrick wore slacks, a button-down shirt, and a killer smile.

Jill didn’t know which way to turn. Her heart raced as she tried to make a decision, but then Ryan began to cry.

Her eyes shot open and she bolted upward in bed.

She looked about, glad to see that neither man was hovering over her.
Thank God
. She put a hand on her chest above her pounding heart. What the heck was Derrick Baylor doing in her dream? Seeing Thomas made sense since he’d been in most of her dreams since he left her at the church eighteen months ago. But Derrick?

Laughter from the kitchen floated in under the door and to her bed. It sounded like a party out there. She pushed the comforter to the side, slid both legs over the edge of the mattress and wriggled her feet into the slippers on the floor.

She stood at the door and listened for a moment.

The voices all blurred together but Lexi and Sandy’s voice were easy to decipher. Ah, and Chelsey. Chelsey must have finished cooking the chili and brought it for a taste test.

She opened the door a smidgeon and peeked toward the kitchen. Sandy’s back was to her, but judging by the red pencil skirt and matching jacket she’d come straight from a sales meeting downtown. Her hair was in a neat twist on the back of her head. Sandy had always had a flair for fashion.

Sandy laughed about something and when she walked away, Jill blinked to make sure she wasn’t imagining things. As far as she could tell, Chelsey had indeed brought the chili for a taste test and she was spoon feeding the chili to Derrick. He opened his mouth and as he chewed and swallowed he groaned as if he was having a chili orgasm. While Derrick continued to make absurd noises, Chelsey grabbed a napkin and used it to dab at his chin as if they were lovers.

It was all too much. Why hadn’t anyone come into her room to wake her up? Why hadn’t Sandy kicked Derrick out of her apartment?

Sleepily, Jill trudged into the room. As she glanced around, she plunked a hand on her hip. “Where’s Ryan?”

“It’s alive,” Sandy said as she came to Jill’s side and tried to fix her hair.

Jill swatted her hand away.

“Ryan’s asleep,” Derrick said from the kitchen.

“Then why are you still here?”

“Because he’s our savior,” Chelsey said with way too much enthusiasm. “He added red and green chili peppers to the chili,” she went on, “and it turns out that’s exactly what was missing. The woman who sent in the recipe, you know, the one who won all those competitions…well, I just talked to her on the phone and sure enough, she forgot to include a few ingredients when she typed out the recipe for us.”

Jill grunted. How could she omit chili peppers from a chili recipe? “Did you tell her how much trouble she’s caused us?”

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Chelsey assured her before she looked back at Derrick and batted her eyelashes.”

For the first time since hiring Chelsey six months ago, Jill noticed how perky and cute she was with her blonde curly hair that bounced around her pale shoulders every time she moved. She looked amazing in her sleeveless sundress and strappy sandals. Surprisingly, Jill found herself wanting nothing more than to tell them all to leave. And then she wanted to pick up the phone and call that woman and tell her she didn’t deserve to win any ribbons at the next county fair if she couldn’t even get one simple chili recipe right.

Breathe, Jill, breathe
.

Derrick was right. She had the baby blues, and she had them bad. All of this negative energy was wearing her out. Since when did she care what Chelsey wore or if everybody looked amazing except for her? She wasn’t vain like her mother and sister. She didn’t have to look perfect every second of the day. For the umpteenth time in the past week, she found herself wanting to cry, which only served to make her want to cry even more because she wasn’t a crier by nature. Her hormones were definitely out of control and she didn’t like it one bit.

Jill turned away to head back to her room when suddenly Ryan’s cry pierced her eardrums. She looked over her shoulder at Derrick. “Your baby is crying. I’m going back to bed.”

Chapter Nine

Thomas stood near the rose garden. Tonight he wore a tuxedo and the moonlight glistened off of his hair and played with the angles of his face, throwing shadows across a nicely shaped jaw and long straight nose.

Across the way, Derrick sat poolside in nothing but a pair of colorful board shorts. His fingers plowed through thick wet hair, sprinkling droplets of water over a bronzed chest and well-worked biceps.

Both men looked Jill’s way as she walked toward them, hips swaying.

“She’s beautiful,” Thomas said.

“Yes,” Derrick agreed. “And she’s all mine. You blew it, buster.”

Jill’s eyes popped open. She stared up at the ceiling. What was wrong with her? She hardly knew Derrick and yet she couldn’t shut her eyes without dreaming about him. Not once, but twice!

Her heart hammered against her chest as she realized she was absolutely, certifiably losing her mind. There was no other explanation. Derrick wasn’t her type. She wasn’t attracted to men with deeply tanned bodies and big muscles. Flashing white teeth and sparkling eyes that winked with mischief were not her cup of tea. No sirree. She liked professional men who took life a little more seriously. She preferred a man in a suit who used his brains more than his brawns.

The clock on her nightstand read three o’clock.

She looked back at the ceiling before giving the clock a second look. No way was it three o’clock. It was closer to nine o’clock in the morning the last time she had awakened to the sounds of everybody partying in her kitchen. If it was three o’clock, that would mean she’d slept six hours straight. She’d never taken a six hour nap in her life. Trying not to panic, she flipped off the covers, slid her legs over the side of the bed, slipped her feet inside her big pink slippers, and headed for the door. She listened for a moment.