He Loves Me Not: Lily’s Story, Book 1 (3 page)

T
he next morning
was Saturday and I slept late, then I spent a good chunk of the day finishing my assignments. When I was done, I indulged myself in reading a new romance novel I’d picked up from the library. As I read about the hero and heroine and their budding relationship, my mind went to Trevor and Justin. They were both good-looking, but I had a hard time believing either one was really interested in me.

In high school I hadn’t gone on very many dates. I didn’t know if it was because I was shy, or because the boys didn’t find me attractive, but I was used to sitting home on the weekends. And then the last two years I'd been completely occupied with taking care of Dad, and had zero social life.

Comfortable in my own company, it didn’t bother me to have no social life, although I couldn’t help but fantasize about being swept off my feet like one of the heroines in the romance novels I loved to read.

I set the book down, then rested my head against the back of the chair and closed my eyes. In my mind I re-experienced the slow dances from the night before. The scent of Trevor’s cologne seemed to fill my nostrils, making my heart pound. I imagined his arms around me and heard him whisper in my ear, then I pictured his face.

Could he be my Prince Charming?

Then I thought about Justin. I had to admit that I found his dark hair and green eyes alluring, and I'd thoroughly enjoyed his attention—plus Alyssa had told me she thought he liked me. But when I imagined his arms around me, it felt more like that of a big brother. Although I didn’t have a brother—or a sister for that matter—I hadn’t feel the same spark with Justin that I’d felt with Trevor.

Then I remembered why I'd left so abruptly. I grabbed my purse and dug around until I found the note. When I read it again, anxiety stabbed at my insides.

Is the note referring to Justin? That's who I spent the most time with. Why would anyone want me to stay away from him? I don’t even know if I like him that way. And I spent less than five minutes with Trevor.

I shook my head.

It must be some kind of misunderstanding.

Determined to put the note out of my mind, I chose to believe it was some kind of mix-up.

On Monday morning as I walked toward my Sociology class and thought about seeing Trevor, a flock of butterflies bumped against my insides. And when I remembered what he’d said as he’d pulled me close at the dance, the butterflies beat their wings harder against my ribs.

Will he be here today? Or will something 'come up' again?

I was a few minutes early, so I sat on the floor, leaned against the wall, and watched the other students walk past. After pulling out my textbook, I reviewed what I'd read over the weekend, but after only a couple of minutes I sensed someone standing near me. I looked up to see who it was.

Trevor
.

He was looking in another direction—apparently not noticing my head bent over my textbook.

Should I say something?

Panic pooled in my gut.

What if he saw me and just didn't want to say anything?

I mentally shook myself.

Get a grip. Speak up.

“Hi, Trevor,” I said softly.

He turned in my direction. When he saw me, his face lit up and he immediately sat beside me. “Hey, Lily. How's it going? Are you ready for class?”

“Of course.” My confidence grew at his positive response. “What about you? Did you do any of your reading yet?”

He shook his head as he smiled. “I wasn't here, remember? I didn't get the assignment.”

I felt dumb for not thinking of that. “You could've gone ahead and read the first chapter.”

“Yeah, right.” His smile faded. “I have better things to do.” He leaned closer to me, making my pulse race. “I'll bet you're a good student though. Do you study every night?”

I nodded, trying to ignore the erratic beating of my heart.

He leaned even closer and I could feel his breath on my face. It was warm and sweet. “Maybe you could help me if I get behind.”

Trying to gain control of my emotions, I busied myself putting my textbook into my backpack. Without looking at him, I said, “I'd be happy to help you. Just let me know.”

He leaned against the wall. “I'll need your phone number or address or something so I can get in touch with you.”

“Okay.” I gave him my cell phone number, which he typed into his phone. Then, reaching into a side pocket of my backpack, I pulled out a pencil and small notepad. “Let me write down my address for you.”

He smirked. “Aren't you the organized one?”

I'd always been proud of my organizational skills—it was one of the few talents I knew I had. Feeling more self-assured that he’d noticed something I was good at, I handed him the slip of paper with my address.

He took it from me and looked it over. “I know a few people who live in those apartments. How do you like it there?”

“It's okay. My roommates are pretty nice, although I don't see them all that often. They're always going somewhere. How about you? Where do you live?”

“Me?” His eyebrows rose. “I can't tell you.”

I laughed. “Why not?”

He wasn't smiling. “I'm kind of between places. I'm staying with some friends this week. I don't know where I'll be next week.”

“Oh. That's not good.”

His smile was back. “It's no big deal. Keeps things interesting.” He stood. “It looks like we can go in now.”

I followed him into the classroom, wondering why he was between places, but when he sat by me I forgot all about his housing problems as I tried to think of something clever to say. Before I could come up with something, a female voice called Trevor’s name. I turned toward the voice and saw the back of Trevor’s head. He was looking at the owner of the voice—a gorgeous girl with auburn hair and flawless skin. Though I tried not to stare, I couldn’t help but notice how skilled she seemed at flirting. Trevor completely ignored me, transfixed with her.

My gaze shifted to my textbook as my shoulders slumped. There was no way I could compete with this girl or others like her. I resigned myself to admiring Trevor from afar.

The professor began the class and out of the corner of my eye I saw Trevor finally turn away from the girl and pay attention to the lecture. Though I tried to take notes on the lecture, I was totally distracted by the interplay between Trevor and the auburn-haired girl. Every time the professor turned her back to write on the white board, Trevor and the girl whispered to each other.

At the end of the lecture I looked at my notes and saw no more than ten words, and what was written made absolutely no sense. When the teacher dismissed us, I stalled in gathering my things, hoping Trevor and the girl would leave before me.

Sure enough, Trevor stood to leave when the girl did.

“See you later, Lily,” he said to me.

Surprised he remembered I was there, I lifted my gaze from my backpack and met his eyes. He had a friendly grin on his face, and when our eyes met, he winked at me.

I had no idea what that meant, but forced a smile onto my face as I tried to hide the jealousy that sliced through me. “See ya.”

I zipped my backpack and silently counted to ten before leaving the room, hoping Trevor and his friend would be long gone. Stepping into the hall, I glanced in both directions and didn’t see them anywhere.

I finished my classes and headed home, disappointed with myself that I was getting so distracted by a man I had no hope of dating. I vowed that I would push him out of my mind and focus on my studies. After all, I only had so much money to pay for school—I couldn’t afford to waste it. My thoughts went to my sweet father. When he’d died suddenly of a heart attack it had been difficult for me. Since my mother had been killed by a drunk driver when I'd been just eight years old, my father and I had become very close. And though taking care of my father had consumed my life for two years, the suddenness of his death had only made me feel worse, and I was still struggling to accept his passing.

As I reflected on one of the most life-shaping experiences of my life, I realized that, in a very tragic way, that experience was preparing me for the rest of my life.

You never know what's around the corner.

Trepidation washed over me at the thought.

T
he next afternoon
when I answered the knocking at my door, I was shocked to find Trevor standing there.

“I was hoping you could help me with the questions we have to do for our class,” he said with a smile.

I almost told him to ask the auburn-haired girl for help, but knew that would be counter-productive. Instead I said, “Sure.” Then opened the door wider. “Come on in.” As he lifted his backpack from the ground, his biceps flexed. Trying to distract myself from the way I was drawn to him, I asked, “Which ones have you done so far?”

He laughed. “None yet. I thought we could do them together.”

“Have you even looked at the questions?” I asked as I sat on the couch. “Or were you just assuming I'd do them for you?” I smiled when I said it, but I was only half-joking. I had to admit I was a little irritated that he’d ignored me during class, but was coming to me for help now.

“What kind of a guy do you think I am?” He asked with a smile. “I was hoping we could study and get to know each other at the same time.”

His words soothed my bruised ego. Flattered by his unexpected attention, I didn't know how to respond. I didn't have much practice with flirting and I didn't think I was very good at it—unlike the auburn-haired girl from class. I stood abruptly. “I'll be right back.” I went into my bedroom and closed the door.

Standing in front of my mirror, I took a deep breath, then ran a comb through my hair.

He might actually be interested in you, Lily
.
Just relax and be yourself.

After glancing at myself one last time, I went into the living room.

“Everything all right?” he asked. His book was open on the coffee table, the questions were next to it, and a blank sheet of paper lay beside that.

“Yes, and I see you're all ready to work.”

He smirked. “Yes, Miss Jamison. Your student is ready.”

“Very funny,” I said, though I liked the way he teased me. “I assume you've actually read the chapter?”

“Not exactly. I prefer to just find the answers as I need them.” He read the first question before flipping through the chapter and spotting the answer. “See? Here we go.”

“Okay, whatever.” I watched him write down the answer. “What are you majoring in, anyway?”

He looked up from the sheet of paper. “Business management. If things go the way I hope, I’ll graduate two years from next spring.”

“Really? That's not too bad. So how old are you anyway?”

“Twenty-three. I’ve been putting myself through school, so it’s taking a while to finish.”

“Well, I think it’s great that you’re doing that.”

He smiled at me, then bent back over his paper as I watched him work. A moment later he looked at me. “Aren't you going to do your homework?”

I smiled, and in a non-boasting voice said, “I've already done it.”

His vivid blue eyes bore into mine. “I like that in a woman.”

The intensity of his gaze unnerved me. “What's that?”

“You get things done.” He smiled with obvious approval. “You don't mess around.”

My confidence soared at his words. “That's why I'm here. To get my degree.”

He nodded. “Good for you. I'll bet you're going to get it done, too.”

An hour later he closed his book, finished with the assignment. “Do you want to grab something to eat?”

I considered the offer. I'd really enjoyed spending the afternoon with him—in fact, I didn't want him to leave—but I still had other homework to do and didn't want to get sidetracked by his attention. Besides, I didn’t want him to think I was so anxious to be with him that I would drop everything just because he threw out a last minute invitation. “Thanks for the offer, but I still have a lot of work to do before tomorrow.”

He smiled, hiding any disappointment he might have felt. “Okay. I'll see you in class.”

I closed the door behind him, wondering if he’d been let down by my refusal or if the invitation had only been a way to thank me for my time. The fact that he’d ignored me in class and just come to see me so I could help him made me think it was the latter. That thought brought a prick of regret because I found myself more and more attracted to the blond man with the penetrating blue eyes.

He seemed to have a lot of secrets hidden behind those eyes and I was curious to discover what they were.

T
he next day
when I got to Sociology class I didn’t see Trevor, though the auburn-haired girl was present. About five minutes after class started I heard a student come in. I turned, and when I saw Trevor sliding into a seat in the back of the room, my heart leapt. When he looked directly at me and smiled, my heart went into a gallop. I smiled back, then turned and stared at my notes, trying without success to wipe the smile from my face.

Once class was over, I took my time gathering my things, waiting to see if Trevor would approach me. As I zipped my backpack, he still hadn’t come over to where I sat. Disappointment cascaded over me, and I stood and turned to leave. He still sat at his desk, but the auburn-haired girl had joined him. She was sitting in the desk in front of his, turned to face him.

I would have to walk right past them to leave the room.

Gathering my courage, I walked toward the door, ignoring him as I neared his desk. Though I felt his gaze on me, I kept my eyes on the exit. A moment later, as I passed his desk, I heard him say, “I’ve gotta go, Amanda.” I walked out the door and into the hall. A moment later I heard him call out, “Lily, wait up.”

Anticipation surged through me as I stopped and turned toward him, letting him catch up. Trying to act like it was nothing special that he’d sought me out, inside my heart throbbed. “Hey, Trevor. Glad to see you made it to class.”

He smiled as he reached me, and we began walking down the hall. “Yeah, I got stuck at work. But at least I made it.”

I wanted to ask him about Amanda, the auburn-haired girl, and what their relationship was, but didn’t have the courage.

“So Lily, I was wondering if you were doing anything later.”

His question was completely unexpected and it took me a moment to respond. “Uh, just studying.”

“Do you think you can pull yourself away long enough to grab some dinner with me?”

I swallowed. “Sure, I guess so.”

He looked offended. “You don’t have to.”

Feeling stupid and inexperienced, I said, “No, no. I want to.”

“Okay then.” He grinned. “I’ll pick you up at six.”

I smiled back, relieved he wasn’t mad. “Okay.”

“See you then.” He turned and went the other direction.

For a moment I stood in place, watching him go, amazed he’d asked me on an actual date.

Maybe his invitation yesterday afternoon had been sincere.