Heart's Desire (5 page)

“I just came out for a swim. It was quiet so I assumed everyone was already in bed.”

Nathan's brows drooped as he moved toward her, the water only reaching his lower ribs. She didn't remember him being so tall, or his presence being so imposing. Nathan had always been impressive but now he seemed larger than life. She wasn't sure what it was about this man that set her so on edge. Or how he could make her stomach feel like it had suddenly broken out with a deadly case of butterflies at the same time. She realized she was still retreating and stopped, standing her ground and arching a brow in defiance.

“Well, some of us still had work to finish. I'm so sorry I couldn't take the day off to entertain you.” She swam toward the stairs, dismissing him, but felt a hand gently circle her wrist.

The butterflies in her stomach took off, beating against her ribs, making it difficult for her to breath. How could his touch still do this to her? How dare he touch her? Her traitorous body had held onto the memories of Nathan without her permission.

It shouldn't still bother her that he'd never called, but after the last night they'd spent together, she'd thought it meant something to him, that
she'd
meant something. But as it turned out, he'd done her a favor. He'd saved her the embarrassment of telling him she loved him, and he'd made it easy to despise him. It sure made him a convenient target for her ire now.

She shot him a scathing look over her shoulder, then down to his hand still holding her captive.

“Look, I think we've gotten off on the wrong foot, Jess. I'm just here to help you.”

“Yeah?” Jessie jerked her arm from his grasp. “I don't remember asking for your help. I don't need your help, and I don't want it.”

“Wow, I remembered you being a pistol, Jessie, but it would have been nice if someone warned me that you'd taken bitchiness to a new level.”

“Excuse me?” She turned back to him slowly, appalled at his audacity and hoping for his sake she hadn't heard him correctly.

“I just don't understand this whole two-year-old, I'll-do-it-myself thing.” He shrugged. “It's obviously not working. I get that you hate me and you're scared but—”

She walked toward him, moving through the water, until she stood toe-to-toe, looking up at him, her eyes barely reaching his shoulder. “I am
not
scared.”

Nathan noticed she didn't correct his assumption about him. He let it slide and arched a brow, cocking his head to the side as a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. “You sure about that?”

“I'm not.”

“You're running a dude ranch,
alone
I might add. One that normally takes several people to operate. You've got no clients booked now and none for the future. This place is sinking faster than the Titanic, and you're not scared?” He scoffed, his green eyes looking down on her. “You should be scared because, if you're not, I don't think I'm going to be able to help you.”

Jessie took another step toward him and narrowed her eyes. “Did you miss the part where I didn't ask for your—”

“I heard you. You don't want my help,” he mimicked. “But, let's face it; I'm your best option right now.”

She turned her back on him and climbed out of the pool. “You're my
only
option or you wouldn't be here. I doubt you can help anyway. If I remember right, you were pretty hopeless the last time you were here. You could barely mend a fence. What do you know about running a dude ranch?”

“Apparently, almost as much as you do.” She glared at him as she reached for her towel. “Jessie, you might know horses, but I know business. I can save
this
business, but only if you quit fighting me and cooperate.” Nathan shook his head and followed her out of the pool. “Look, I get that I hurt you. It was never my intention. But it was a long time ago.”

She laughed, but the sound was sad and bitter, even to her own ears. “Don't flatter yourself, Nathan.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. Jessie's mouth dried up as her eyes followed the water sliding down the planes of his face, the moonlight making shadows over his jawline. She forced herself not to not follow the path of the water any farther than his broad shoulders. She might tell herself that he wasn't her type anymore, but she was treading into dangerous territory. There was no sense looking for temptation.

Nathan was walking, talking, raw sexual attraction, and she was sure he used it to bend women to his will often. Her body might not know the difference between the past and the present, but Jessie wasn't about to let his sexy smile and hard muscles distract her focus again. She wasn't the same innocent girl who had believed in fairy tales eight years ago. He'd taught her a lesson she wasn't likely to forget.

“I'm sorry. I owe you that. After I left here, things got . . . complicated. I was wrong not to call.”

How long had she wanted to hear those words? She realized she'd been staring at the planes of his chest, highlighted by the moonlight. She flicked her eyes up to meet his, trying to get her brain operating again.

“I'm surprised you never told Justin.”

“Of course not! What should I tell him? That his best friend seduced me and then left without another word?” She moved to stand in front of him and poked a finger against the solid wall of his chest. “Besides, I didn't see the point after you turned your back on him, too. I didn't think he'd be stupid enough to ever trust your lying ass again.”

“That wasn't what happened.” His voice was husky, seductively mesmerizing as his fingers brushed over the back of her hand.

She could barely make out his face in the near darkness, but she could feel the gentle invitation in his touch. It transported her back in time. To a time when she was young and trusting and naïve. A time when she believed in love that could withstand any trial.

She tried to ignore the grief and the loneliness that washed over her. It made her wish Nathan would make the first move, that he would wrap his arms around her, allow her to bury her face against his chest and seek the comfort she longed for, if only for a moment. The isolation she'd felt for the past few months filled her and tears threatened, burning at the back of her eyes.

Damn it, she couldn't cry in front of this man, or anyone else, just because she felt a little sad. She quickly pulled her hand away from his grasp. She didn't need sympathy. She didn't
want
it, especially from this man. She just wanted him to go away.

She could almost hear her father's voice.
Cowgirl up, Jess.

As if sensing the change in her demeanor, Nathan laughed quietly. “Don't worry, Jessie, your secret's safe with me. I won't tell anyone you aren't always a hard ass.”

Jessie smiled sweetly before lifting her hands and giving him a quick shove backward.

Droplets of water splashed over her feet as he fell into the deep end of the pool. She heard him rise to the surface, sputtering and cursing. She wrapped her towel around her waist.

“I don't know what my brother told you, but neither of you has any idea about what is best for me or this ranch. I have plans, and neither one of you is going to mess them up. Enjoy your swim, Mr. Kerrington.”

Once again, she left him behind, heading into the house without giving him to opportunity to have the last word. Exactly the way she wanted it.

N
ATHAN RUBBED HIS
tired eyes. The sun was just starting to climb over the horizon and peek through the trees, but he'd already been up for several hours. He had just polished off his third cup of coffee when Jessie made her way into the kitchen.

She barely glanced his way as she walked by. “Been up a while?”

He was surprised she said anything, but at least she seemed friendlier this morning. Then again, why wouldn't she be as chipper as hell after shoving him into the pool last night? “Since about four a.m. I was just getting ready to start another pot if you want me to do it.”

“I'll get it.” She reached for a mug and poured what was left in the pot into her cup before adding cream, sipping it as she started brewing a new pot. “Why are you up so early? I know we get up with the chickens but I thought you city boys liked your sleep. And why are you in my kitchen instead of your cabin?”

He let her veiled insult slide. He didn't even want to attempt to verbally spar with her when he was this tired. It was just easier to be civil. After his dunking last night, he wouldn't put it past her to dump the coffee over his head. “I started there, but I wanted to catch you before you got too busy this morning. Justin stopped by and let me in before he headed to the clinic.” He held up a file folder. “I thought maybe we could go over some of these files today. Most importantly, the profit-loss statements for the ranch for the past few years.”

She glanced back at him over her shoulder before topping off her coffee with the fresh brew, and her eyes clouded with suspicion. “I don't have time. There are other things that are more urgent today.”

“More important than figuring out where your money is going? Why it's disappearing so quickly with nothing to show for it?”

Jessie sighed and turned to glare at him, leaning one hip against the counter. “I have three horses coming in this morning, and I need to evaluate them. If I get finished with them early enough, I'll meet with you, okay?”

Nathan folded his hands over the spreadsheets covering the surface of the kitchen table and met her gaze. He could be just as stubborn as she was. He would figure out a way to reach her, some sort of compromise that would gain her trust again. He was here to help
her
, not Justin or his own reputation, but for some reason, she was still balking at his help.

“I'll tell you what, why don't we talk about these files over dinner? That way you can finish your work.” Leaving her with no other excuse for avoiding him.

“Dinner?” Her brows arched high on her forehead in surprise, but she ducked her chin and tried to hide it by sipping her coffee. “I don't think so. You might ply me with a little liquor and convince me to
cuddle
with you again.”

It was a low blow. It was supposed to be a reminder of what happened the night before he left, but that wasn't the way he remembered it, not even close. She might have been only eighteen, but the one bottle of beer they'd shared hadn't impaired her judgment. By the time they'd made love that night, she'd been completely sober. Sober enough that when he tried to stay in control, she'd clung to him like a lifeline, her body hot against his, and he couldn't fight any longer.

“It's pretty hard to cuddle with a porcupine,” he retorted.

She lowered her mug and pursed her lips, but he didn't wait for her reply.

“Look, Jessie, I promise, this is entirely about the ranch. I'm trying to figure out how to bring Heart Fire back into the black, but I need to find out from you which expenses are nonnegotiable. Like this stable mix—what is it and why does it cost so much?”

She chewed at the inside of her lower lip and took a deep breath, looking suddenly unsure and, for the first time since his arrival, slightly vulnerable. “Fine. But only on one condition.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, not wanting to appear too acquiescent. “That depends.”

“Before you go making any recommendations, I want you to see the horses coming in today and watch the evaluation. Then we can talk about the future of the ranch.”

“Why?”

She took another sip from the mug. “You'll see, but it's the only way I'll agree to do this.”

He wasn't about to waste the rare opportunity to gain this stubborn woman's cooperation. It didn't to come easily or often. “Fine, tell me what I need to do.”

She twisted her mouth to the side, trying to hide a smirk as her eyes slid over him. “The first thing you need to do is change into something suitable for working outside.”

“What's wrong with what I have on?” He looked down at his polo shirt.

Jessie shook her head. “I can't believe those are the clothes you brought. Don't you remember anything?” She finished her coffee and chuckled as she put the cup into the dishwasher. “I'll have Bailey grab you some of Justin's clothes and swing them by your cabin before she heads to the clinic. You'll thank me later.”

“Justin's clothes will be too big and you know it. I'll be swimming in them.”

Jessie didn't even bother to hide her grin as she raised her hands in mock apology. Nathan stood and leaned over the table, straightening the documents. It was the first bit of humor he'd seen from her, the first genuine smile she'd even directed his way, and he found himself enjoying the glimpse far more than he should.

“I get the feeling you're going to make me regret this.” When he looked up, the moment of good-natured teasing had passed. She stopped with her hand on the kitchen door.

“You probably
will
regret it, but it won't be my fault.” A frown marred Jessie's brow, and her eyes looked sad again. “I'll meet you at the pasture by the barn in an hour.”

N
ATHAN SHIFTED AGAIN
from his position on the porch. How in the world did Justin wear these jeans all day long? They were too big in the waist, so he'd cinched them with a belt, but they were still falling off. He adjusted the weather-beaten baseball cap on his head and sent up a prayer of thanks that no paparazzi had found him here. He'd never live down a picture of him looking like the most uncomfortable redneck alive in an oversized, ratty T-shirt, beat-up cowboy boots, and a camouflage John Deere cap.

He watched Jessie as she stood in the smallest pasture, waiting for the truck and stock trailer creeping down the driveway. She glanced back at him nervously and then leaned over to say something to her brother. Justin was standing beside her wearing the same redneck attire as Nathan, although his hat was on backward. Nathan made his way down the steps to where the pair waited and saw Jessie tense, her shoulders rising and her hands clenching into fists at her side. He wondered how many times he was going to have to apologize before she stopped getting defensive whenever he approached.

“Why don't you stand over there, Nathan?” Justin pointed near the fence. “We don't know how these horses are going to act, and it's better to be safe.”

Nathan took a step backward. “What do you mean ‘safe'?”

“Be as quiet as possible,” Jessie ordered. “Stay out of the way and don't come in here, no matter what happens.”

Her instructions weren't putting him any more at ease. With anxiety bunching in his muscles like a current with no release, he watched the pair as the truck pulled up to the pasture and came to a slow, easy stop.

A woman leaned out the window toward Jessie. “You want them in here?”

Jessie took a few steps toward the truck. “Are they okay together?”

The woman nodded and Justin move toward the gate, opening it as the woman backed her aluminum stock trailer inside. The near silence from Jessie and Justin had him curious. He could feel the tension coursing through them, but with nothing to base it on, it seemed odd. He felt out of place, like he was missing some crucial clue, and he gripped the fence hard enough for his knuckles to turn white.

Justin stood by the gate, while the woman parked the truck and moved to the back of the trailer. Unlatching the back door and swinging it wide, she blocked Nathan's view of the animals inside, but he didn't miss the look of horror on Jessie's face. Her eyes immediately widened before welling with tears, as she pinched her lips together, trying not to cry. He recognized pain and anger waging war within her and felt the desire to pull her close, to protect her from the emotions he could see written clearly in her face.

Jessie stepped into the trailer and he heard her murmuring quiet words and nonsense phrases. Slow thumps of what he assumed were hooves came from inside. While he watched in silence from the fence, Jessie led the first animal to Justin for inspection.

What little he was able to see was gut-wrenching.

The animal was nothing but skin stretched tightly over large bones, sunken in unnatural places. Ribs were plainly visible, and he could see each and every bump and ridge of the animal's hip bones. It looked as if the miserable creature was wasting away from disease with open, festering sores dotting the mangy coat, oozing sickeningly. Its hooves were so unkempt they curled up from the ground, and the weak animal could barely lift its head.

Jessie ran a careful hand over the animal's neck, speaking quietly in a soothing tone, almost a purr, and he watched in amazement as the neglected animal buried its head against her chest, seeking comfort.

“Okay, Justin, this girl's going to need your help more than mine.”

Nathan heard the hitch in her voice, as if she was choking back tears, and he tried to swallow the lump lodged in his own throat at the sight of the defeated animal. Justin ran his hands over the horse's shoulders, inspecting the festering sores. His friend had always had a soft spot for animals in need. It didn't surprise him that, for all his talk of Jessie making them horse-poor, Justin couldn't turn the abused animals away without helping them, any more than Jessie could.

“She needs to be in a stall, Jess.” Justin's voice was thick, as if he was having difficulty speaking as well. “She's going to need antibiotics, and these sores need to be cleaned several times a day, but I think they will heal up, although they might leave some discoloration on her hide. We should give her a dose of wormer and her shot series. I doubt she's had them. Let's get her some food and water first.”

A loud, shrill whinny came from inside the trailer where two other horses waited. There was a crash, and Jessie's head snapped back to the trailer.

“Deb,” she called to the woman who'd delivered the animals, “why don't you take her into the first stall on the left so we can get these other two out?”

“You might want to be careful of the next one, Jess,” the other woman said. “He's pretty attached to the other two, and we had a tough time getting him haltered. I had to tranquilize him and put him between the mares just to get him into the trailer. He's pretty rank.”

“Sounds like it's worn off.” Jessie gave Deb a wary glance before looking back at Justin, who simply raised a solitary brow at her stubborn determination before shaking his head. “Relax, I'll be fine,” she insisted. “Why don't you man the gate and I'll let this one come out on his own? We'll give him some space to explore first.”

Nathan watched as Jessie headed to the side of the trailer, out of his line of sight. He quickly shot a glance at Justin, shocked he'd let his slip of a sister near that metal coffin with what sounded like a crazed animal. He heard several loud
bangs
come from inside. This situation was dangerous, and he felt completely helpless. He wanted to intercede, to grab Jessie, and to yank her back to safety, but he doubted she'd appreciate him butting into her business, especially after her warning. But if this animal was anywhere close to as dangerous as this woman claimed, Jessie was sure to get hurt.

Why the hell was Justin still standing at the gate? Why didn't he go check on her?

“Justin, is that horse dangerous?”

“Of course he is.”

“Then go get her. Why are you letting her in there?” His friend's glance instantly silenced him.

The damn fool woman was going to get herself killed. He heard another slam from inside the trailer and saw Jessie pressed up against the side through the slats. If Justin wasn't going to make sure she wasn't being killed, he would. He wasn't about to stand by and watch it happen.

Nathan opened the gate to the corral and stepped inside as a jet black horse bolted from the back of the trailer like a flash of dark lightning. Baring teeth, the animal reared, striking the ground with his front hooves, intent on doing damage to whomever or whatever might be unlucky enough to cross his path. Right now, that was Nathan.

As the horse charged, rough hands yanked him backward by the collar of his shirt. Jessie ran from the side of the trailer in time to see his butt hit the ground with a thud outside the pasture. Justin jerked the gate shut just as the horse's teeth snapped the air where Nathan's head had been moments before. The horse spun back toward Jessie, pawing at the dirt.

Justin glared down at Nathan as he latched the gate. “What the hell are you doing? She said, ‘stay out'!”

“What the hell are
you
doing leaving her in there with that insane horse? She's going to get herself hurt.” He jumped up and headed for the gate again but Justin grasped his arm.

“She knows what she's doing. The only one who's going to get hurt around here is you.”

Nathan watched Jessie calmly stand her ground, even as the animal reared high into the air, kicking out with his front hooves. He looked far healthier than the other two, at least physically, but he was completely out of control. As the horse dropped back onto all fours, Jessie edged away from the trailer and along the side of the fence, across from where the two of them waited. She cocked her head slightly, peering at the horse as the animal snorted loudly, eyes wide. He pawed at the ground again, watching her intently. When she didn't react, the animal took a few steps toward her and paused, ears flicking nervously back and forth.