Heart's Desire (9 page)

“I said I'm fine. It's just hot in here.” Jessie spun on her heel, hurrying across The Feed Lot to the wall of saddles, bridles, and cinches. Anything that might put a little space between her and this man who made her feel like she was on a roller coaster—dizzy, breathless, and like she'd completely lost all control of her senses.

N
ATHAN WATCHED
J
ESSIE
as she leaned back on one arm beside him on the grass, licking the ice cream dripping down the side of her waffle cone. She was watching several boys playing basketball on a nearby court, as the sun dipped low in the evening sky. What in the world had he been thinking, suggesting they get ice cream and take it to the park?

Watching her eat the cone was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen. Other than that look Jessie gave him when he tried on the clothing at the western-wear store. When her blue eyes darkened, he'd wanted to drown in the hunger he saw there, to bury his hands in her dark hair, and to cover her mouth with his. Time hadn't changed the way he felt about Jessie. It was all he could to stop himself from licking the sweetness from her lips.

He needed to regain his restraint, and quickly, because if she realized the path his thoughts were taking, she'd castrate him the way she planned to do that stallion. Nathan shifted, trying to find a measure of comfort in these new jeans, but it felt like his balls were being crushed in a vice. He wasn't sure if it was the way they were cut or his body's response to watching her eat the ice cream, but he felt like the circulation to his brain was being cut off.

An image flashed through his mind of what he would look like when Justin finished with him if he found out about the fantasies Nathan was having about his sister. It worked almost as well as a bucket of ice water. Guilt welled up, cooling his desire. He'd only begun to regain a little of Jessie's trust, but Justin was relying him, and he knew how he'd feel if the roles were reversed.

He took a bite of his cone and turned his attention to another group of kids playing on the swings nearby. “What's with the foster kids at the ranch?”

“Who? Aleta and Michael?” She followed his gaze and smiled at the kids' antics, laughing as they watched one young boy twist the chain of the swing before letting it spin free.

“He told me to call him Ice, but yeah.”

“Aleta's foster mom was a friend of Mom's, and she's seen how much working with the horses has helped Aleta's attitude. Michael . . . ” Jessie sighed. “Michael's a different story. Like Aleta, he's a foster kid, but Ellie's one of my best friends. She's desperately trying to find anything to keep him away from the gang that got ahold of his older brother, who's now in jail again.”

“Parents?”

“Both dead. His brother had guardianship. It's a bad situation because he idolized his brother.”

Nathan shook his head. “What about Aleta's parents?”

“Her mom's in jail, and no one knows anything about her father.”

He finished off his cone, popping the last bite into his mouth. Jessie was such a contradiction—tough as nails with a heart as soft as a down pillow. “You have a thing for what other people throw away, don't you?”

“What are you talking about?” She stopped watching the kids and looked over at him, frowning.

He leaned back on his hands, straightening his legs and crossing his booted ankles in front of him, staring across the lawn to where kids continued to play. “There's the abused horses, the foster kids.” He met her gaze and gave her a knowing smile. “Don't think I didn't see you salivating over that hutch in the thrift shop a little while ago.”

Her brows sagged, and he hated to think he was the one who'd caused the change in her lighthearted mood. “It's a good thing, Jess. Something most people wouldn't even think about.” He moved his finger to touch the back of her hand lying flat against the grass. He felt the instant spark of arousal but wasn't sure which of them felt it more.

She moved her hand away from his and sat up. “I . . . I just . . . ”

He chuckled quietly, shaking his head. “You're as uncomfortable accepting a compliment as I feel in these clothes.”

He saw a shy smile spread over her lips and felt relief course through him that she hadn't tried to hide behind her armor again. Since dinner, they'd been able to keep this evening on an easy-going, friendly playing field, and he hoped it would make the coming days easier, especially when he had to push her to make some difficult decisions. If she didn't trust him, any advice he offered would fall on deaf ears.

“We should probably head back,” she suggested, rising and tossing what was left of her cone into a nearby garbage can before making her way toward the water fountain.

He knew she was right. They should get back to the ranch, where there were plenty of eyes to watch their every move and keep him honest. Not to mention work he was supposed to be doing for her. But he was enjoying the time with her, and it had been a long time, a
very
long time, since he'd allowed himself any opportunity to have fun.

But for the first time in years, he felt free. Fully alive. He wasn't sure why Jessie was able to draw this out of him, but he wasn't quite ready to let it go and get back to his usual boring routine.

“I thought you were going to show me fun,” he teased. She eyed him suspiciously. “Don't get me wrong. This is fun, but Justin said I'd missed out growing up in the city. I don't know if this qualifies as ‘missing out.' ”

She washed her hands in the water from the fountain and dried them on her denim-clad thighs, giving him a sideways glance. “Is that a challenge, Nathan?”

He grinned and shrugged. “I guess it might be.” He loved the way his name fell from her lips. It was the first time she'd used it instead of the stupid nickname Bailey had given him, and he wanted to hear it again—as a soft sigh.

“Then we should get back to the truck because I'm about to show you something you'll never find in city limits.” In his frame of mind, Nathan couldn't help but imagine all sorts of things he wanted to see from her. He had no idea what she had in mind, but if it meant spending more time looking at those blue eyes, seeing that smile on her lips and the humor lighting up her face, he'd do just about anything short of frog gigging.

J
ESSIE TEXTED HER
brother as she and Nathan headed back to the truck from the park, asking him to saddle up two horses. She ignored his return texts asking where she was, when she would arrive, and why she was planning on riding at this hour with Nathan. If she paused long enough to think about the answers to any of his questions, she might just talk herself out of this stupid idea and remember why she didn't want anything to do with Nathan Kerrington in the first place. What made her think he would even think this was fun anyway? He probably hadn't even been on a horse since he'd left the ranch.

She eyed him slyly, seated in the passenger seat of the truck, and could almost ignore the logic and the warning bells sounding in her brain. She knew she needed to get home and check on the new horses, make sure they'd settled in for the night. She should work on the books, or at the very least, input the latest receipts into the computer program she was trying, unsuccessfully, to learn. She should make some training notes . . . There were at least one thousand things she
should
be doing, and none of them included spending time on an evening ride with Nathan Kerrington.

It was the first time in years she'd actually felt like someone was listening to her instead of trying to convince her to live a life she didn't want. She hated that it was Nathan, of all people. Especially since his apology wasn't really an explanation at all. She knew she was making a mistake, just like she had the last time they were together, but he'd always been able to make her ignore common sense. The man had a way of making her brain shut off and her heart take over. She must be crazy. She must have left every ounce of sense she possessed in The Feed Lot because she hadn't been thinking right since she'd first seen him in those Wranglers.

She pulled into the driveway and saw the light on in the barn with two horses tied to the hitching post in front. Bailey came out of the tack room with the bridles and hung them over the saddle horns, looking up at the sound of the truck and waving. Jessie parked the truck in front of the house.

Nathan looked at the barn and then back to her. “We're going riding? Now?”

“What's the matter? Not up for it?”

Please say no
, her head begged.

Please say yes,
her heart countered.

He shut the truck door, folded his hands, and smiled at her over the hood. “It's been a long time since I've ridden, and I've never been at night.” The gold flecks in his eyes caught the dome light from the truck and flashed with mischief. “But I'm game to see what I've been missing.”

As they walked to the barn, the light from the doorway played over the planes of his face, creating shadows and angles, giving him an air of mystery and danger. She couldn't quite make out his hooded expression, and she wondered if he was deliberately taunting her with his innuendo. Her heart immediately began to thud against her ribcage and she bit her lower lip, questioning the sanity of her thoughts again.

“Hey, Wall Street, lookin' good,” Bailey said with a laugh as she approached. “We might have to change your name. I barely recognized you.” She turned to Jessie. “I have your horses saddled. Heading up to The Ridge?”

“That's the plan.” This was a bad idea and she knew it. He'd baited her, and stupidly, she'd let her mouth get her into trouble again. But if she backed out now, it would look like she was afraid of him.

Bailey gave her an impish grin. “Well, you have a fun ride tonight.” She laughed at her own choice of words.

Jessie glared at her as Nathan arched a brow at them both. She was only taking Nathan up to The Ridge to see the changes her parents had made. She just needed to convince the parts of her body that were already warming with brazen fantasies.

She busied herself checking the saddles, finding that Bailey had already tied blankets and sweatshirts to the back of each. She'd even added a saddlebag to the back of Jessie's, but she wasn't about to take time now examine what sorts of things her cousin might have added to embarrass her.

“You ready?”

“As I'll ever be.” He winked at her and untied his horse from the hitching post, surprising her when he mounted correctly and settled himself into the saddle. She raised her brows in question. “It's sort of like riding a bike,” he pointed out.

“Let's see if you still feel that way in the morning when you're sore as hell.” Bailey dipped her head to hide her smile as she opened the pasture gate.

Jessie went through it first and Nathan followed.

Bailey shut the gate behind him, patting his mount on the rump. “Don't worry. Grady is a solid, old boy so between him and Jessie, you'll be fine.”

Nathan glanced at Jessie, and his gaze heated. “I'm sure I'm in good hands.”

With the huskiness of his voice, it didn't take much for Jessie's imagination to conjure visions of her own hands on him. She turned quickly, facing forward in the saddle, refusing to look at him as Bailey burst out laughing at her obvious embarrassment.

Damn him, damn Bailey, and damn her wanton imagination.

Jessie clenched her jaw. This was just supposed to be a chance to show him something he'd never seen growing up in the city, nothing more. Why did either of them have to insinuate it was anything other than that? Why did her own imagination want to twist this into a romantic rendezvous? Her gelding jerked his nose forward, pulling against the reins she'd accidentally tightened her hands around.

“Sorry, boy,” she murmured, relaxing her fingers and dropping her hand. No sense in taking her aggravation with Nathan and Bailey, or herself, out on the horse.

“Which direction are we heading?” Nathan moved his animal alongside her, looking around at the dark pasture. “This isn't exactly someplace I'd like to get lost.”

A day ago, she'd have liked to have him get lost in order to avoid dealing with him. Now, with his western attire, five o'clock shadow, and seated on a horse, he looked like he'd been born on a ranch. Thoughts of getting lost
with
him suddenly seemed almost tempting. “I'm taking you to The Ridge. We let guests camp there overnight. You'll understand why soon.”

He tipped his chin down, eyeing her suspiciously. “We're camping? I have to admit, it's not something I ever did growing up but—”

“You've never been camping?” She interrupted him, shocked. She'd spent most of her childhood sleeping under the stars with her siblings and their father.

He shook his head. “My family isn't really the ‘camping' kind.” He ran a palm over his thigh and shifted in the saddle, looking uncertain.

She laughed quietly. “Relax, Wall Street, I'm not going to molest you up here. You're not that irresistible.”

He looked taken aback for a moment, but a slow smile spread over his lips and made her nervous. “So you
do
find me somewhat irresistible?”

Jessie shifted in the saddle and pressed her lips together in a thin line. She hadn't meant it that way.

Nathan chuckled, giving her a wink. “Don't worry, darlin',” he drawled playfully, his voice husky. “The feeling is mutual.”

She frowned as her stomach flipped again and tingles spiraled through her entire lower half. She knew he was only teasing, but a part of her worried at how easily he'd been able to read her thoughts.

“Shut up.”

She wasn't sure if she was talking to him or the voice in her head suggesting all sorts of ideas for a memorable night on The Ridge. She tapped the horse's side, urging him into a jog, knowing Nathan's gelding would follow suit. Grady, old as he was, broke into a bouncy trot and she couldn't help but grin as Nathan was jarred in the saddle, nearly coming down on the saddle horn as he pulled Grady to a stop.

“Hey! This is
not
fun!” he yelled as his horse fell behind. “Are you listening?”

Jessie slowed her gelding to match Grady's slower pace. Nathan glared at her, arching a brow. “I'm not going to admit I deserved that but, let's just say, this saddle horn almost gelded me. Truce?” Nathan held out his right hand to her.

“Truce,” she agreed. “For now.”

N
ATHAN WATCHED
J
ESSIE
as they rode. At first, she'd seemed irritated with Bailey's insinuations that she was trying to seduce him, not that he'd helped much, adding in his own innuendos. But he really couldn't help it. Watching her today, then spending the evening with her, had reminded him of why he'd been so taken with her when he'd stayed on the ranch before. Not only was she irresistible, it was actually fun to see her thrown off-kilter for a change.

Nathan had never intended to hurt Jessie. From the first moment he and Justin arrived on the ranch for summer break before their senior year of college, Nathan could barely keep his eyes off Jess. She'd just celebrated her high school graduation. She was innocent, beautiful, and full of hope for her future. The first time he'd kissed her at the river, he'd been sure he'd lost his mind. It launched a whirlwind of yearning unlike anything he'd ever felt with anyone before.

As soon as he and Justin returned to college, his father had called him, furious. Nathan had no idea how he'd found out about Jessie, but it wouldn't be the first time his father had hired an investigator to follow his children. It wasn't uncommon for senators to keep tabs on their families that way, especially
his
father. When his father pointed out how dangerous a relationship with a nobody would be for his reelection campaign, Nathan had argued. When he pressed on, insisting Nathan would damage his latest run for office and that it would cause a media circus if the tabloids found out he was slumming with some cowgirl, he balked but remained firm. It wasn't until his father threatened to destroy the Hart family's reputation if he ever returned to the ranch that Nathan took him seriously. A few casual calls to the press, and Jessie would be on the front page of every tabloid in the country, branded the whore, her family gold diggers set on luring wealthy men to blackmail and create scandal. And so he'd set aside his future with Jessie, to protect her.

Little did Nathan know that his father was more concerned with covering up his own offshore accounts, where he was hiding campaign funds, than with his son's love life. It wasn't until Nathan started his own financial consulting practice that his father had asked him to falsify the campaign contributions and join the “family business.”

Learning the truth about his family too late—the unconventional and illegal parameters his father operated within—Nathan regretted his decision. He should have told his father to go to hell sooner. Jessie would have. She'd have stood up to anyone who tried to keep them apart and let the consequences be damned. He wondered what life would've been like if he'd made a different choice. Where would he have landed if his father had cut him off and he'd been forced to drop out of college? Would he have come back to the ranch to be with her? Would he have confessed his feelings for her to Justin and her father? He deplored the coward he'd been, but he'd convinced himself over the years that her feelings for him were nothing more than a fleeting summer romance.

How was it possible that she was single? He studied her long, tapered fingers curled around the reins, gently directing the huge beast with the slightest motion. She was incredibly smooth in her movements, focusing on the powerful animal completely subdued between her thighs. He was trying to ignore the longing but, so far, watching the dark waves of her hair cascade down her back as her hips rocked in the saddle had been torture for him. He'd never had trouble cooling off his libido before, and the thought of what Justin would do to him should have been enough to freeze even the hottest desire.

A small smile tipped up the corners of her mouth, and even in the moonlight, there was a joy and pride shining in her eyes as they took in her surroundings. The glow from the nearly full moon reflected in her face, highlighting the pure satisfaction he could read there. She loved this place. There was no doubt in his mind that running this ranch, helping these horses, and mentoring these kids was as much as part of Jessie as the oxygen she breathed and the blood flowing through her veins.

She held up a hand, pointing ahead, and interrupted his appraisal. “Right there. See?”

Nathan followed the direction of her finger and could make out the trail traveling up to a cliff that hung high over a wide river. The sound of the water crashing over rocks nearby created a melody with the soft
clomp
of the horses' hooves. He followed her up the short path until it ended in a wide meadow on a rocky ledge dotted with several pine trees. She dismounted and reached for Grady's reins, leading the horses to a pipe corral. “This is where we'll stop.”

He followed her lead, dismounting, surprised by how tight the rarely used muscles in his inner thighs were already feeling.

She untied the blanket from the back of the saddle. “Are you cold?” she asked. “Bailey sent sweatshirts.”

“I'm fine. Do you need help?” He watched her, feeling a bit useless, knowing this certainly wasn't his most gallant moment as she attended to the animals alone. He massaged his legs with his hands, feeling like an idiot but unsure how to help.

“Nope.” She loosened the saddles and tied the horses in the corral before walking toward him with the blankets.

He could read the sudden insecurity in her face, surprised to see her reveal the emotion as she spread the blankets near the rocky edge and sat down. “You sure you don't want a jacket?” she asked. “I mean, we won't stay too long but . . . ”

It was unseasonably warm for this part of California, but even if that hadn't been the case, watching her ride had created a fire in him already threatening to burn out of control. “No, I'm good.”