Heart's Desire (10 page)

The rasp in his voice surprised him, and she stared at him a moment longer than necessary. He didn't want her to even suspect the thoughts going through his mind right now. He cleared his throat. “This is incredible. Why didn't we ever come up here?”

His voice held every bit of the awe he felt. The location was what dreams were made of. He walked past a central fire pit to the wooden fence lining the edge of the cliff. While it provided safety, they'd been careful to make it blend with the surroundings. Pine scented the night air as the moon hung, huge and bright in the sky, illuminating the white caps of the river crashing over rocks below. The sound of the water created a symphony with the rest of the night—a slight breeze rustling through the trees, frogs and crickets, a rustle of birds high in the trees above, and the haunting call of an owl.

A slight click, like something dropping behind him, made him jump and turn. “What was that?”

She leaned back on the blanket, staring up at the stars, and folded her arms under her head, as if she didn't have a care in the world. “Probably a squirrel—or a mouse.” She tipped her chin, glancing back to where he stood, still staring into the darkness where the horses relaxed. “Calm down, Wall Street. This is where you unwind and see what the city can't offer you. The horses will alert us if it's anything worth worrying about.”

He watched the woman lying prone on the blanket, staring up the night sky. “Like what? A mountain lion ready to pounce?”

The sound of her laughter was rich and sweet as he edged toward the blanket, still listening for wildlife behind them. Just the throaty sound made him think of those full lips of hers again, and heat pooled, deep and unwelcome, in the pit of his loins.

He needed to put some distance between them emotionally as well. He was in trouble if getting mauled by a wild animal sounded preferable to the longing he was feeling for her again. He lay down on the blanket next her, trying to keep as much room between them as the small blanket allowed. He clasped his hands over his abs to keep from touching her again, reminding himself that he'd made the right decision for everyone when he'd cut ties with her. His family, the world he lived in, would rip her to shreds, and he couldn't do that to her, no matter how much he wanted her. Loving Jessie was a youthful fantasy he needed to bury again.

She turned her face toward him and smiled before looking back at the sky. “Bet you can't find something like this in the city.”

His brows arched on his forehead. “No, I have to agree with you on that. It's definitely beautiful.” His eyes never left her face, but she wasn't looking at him.

Jessie pointed up at the stars. “Somewhere . . . there. Right there is the Big Dipper.”

He followed her gaze into the night sky, awed at how brilliant the stars were. It was an amazing sight. Pinpoints of light dotted the sky, more than he'd ever seen before. The inky sky looked like it went on forever.

“You're away from any other lights so there's nothing to dim them.” She turned her head toward him and he realized he'd spoken aloud.

“If you watch, you'll see lots of shooting stars, too. You don't see many in the city.”

“I don't think I've ever noticed any.”

“You're kidding!”

“I told you, I wasn't exactly raised in a family that spent a lot of time outdoors.” He frowned as he thought about his father and his relentless pursuit of financial success, no matter what the cost. “Or together, for that matter. My father would call this frivolous.”

“Huh.” Jessie sounded surprised by his admission.

Nathan turned to face her. “What?”

Jessie shrugged and raised her brows. “I would have thought you'd have it all. The house, the car, the money, the education. But you don't sound like . . . never mind, I shouldn't have said anything.”

“What were you going to say?” he urged.

“You just sounded nostalgic. Like you would have given it all up for something else.”

Nathan felt the twist of pain in his stomach as he looked back at the sky with an acerbic laugh. “You have no idea.”

She looked up at the sky again. “You never talked about your family much.”

“There's not a lot to talk about.” That wasn't really true. He could tell her about the various crimes his father had been charged with over the years, how his mother and sister were both stuck in marriages of convenience rather than love.
Love.
He'd come to wonder if the word even really meant anything. It seemed more like trite expression. Suddenly, a burst of blue light flashed across the sky, fizzling out quickly.

“Did you make a wish?” she asked, excitedly.

“A wish?”

She turned to face him, rolling onto her side, bracing her cheek on her palm. “You're supposed to make a wish when you see a shooting star. You really did miss out growing up, didn't you?”

A sad smile slipped over her lips, and Nathan Kerrington, financial analyst to millionaire CEOs, a man used to riding in limos, eating caviar, drinking Cristal champagne, and addressing boardrooms, was struck speechless as her thick-lashed, deep blue eyes filled with innocent wonder met his. His years of business success, each dollar in his bank account and every rung he'd climbed up the corporate ladder seemed worthless compared to the unadulterated sorrow he saw in her face for his pitiful childhood. She knew a contentment and security, just in being a Hart, he'd never be able to comprehend. She had shared her pride in her family, something he'd never understood existed. Until now.

“Make a wish, Nathan.” Her voice was sweet, tender, and mildly amused.

Suddenly, the only thing he could think about was Jessie and the mistake he'd made eight years ago. The cold logic that seemed to rule his every decision, in business and relationships, failed him, evaporating into the night sky by way of a shooting star. His hand found the silken curve of her neck as the inches between them disappeared. Rolling to hover over her, Nathan dipped his head, his lips finally finding hers, taking her mouth hostage as he'd thought about doing all day. He forgot the differences between them, his father's threats, the reasons this couldn't work, and the excuses he wanted to make to keep from touching her. All he knew was the uncontrollable need, held prison for the last eight years, finally set free to course through his veins.

His entire life had been ruled by self-control, logic, and order. Jessie scattered all three to the wind, making him wonder if all the things his discipline had gained him over the years weren't simply cheap imitations, his family's impressions of what his life should be.

She opened under him, soft and warm, her kiss vibrant and filled with life, like a lightning storm, so very much like the woman in his memories. Jessie held nothing back, as if every second was a celebration of life, and her fingers curled into the flesh of his triceps. His hands slid over her shoulder, down her arm bared by her short sleeves, feeling goosebumps break out over her flesh, and filling him with yearning to see what other reactions he could cause in her. She sighed softly into his mouth and arched against him.

Nathan had never known a woman to respond with such abandon. He realized he shouldn't have expected anything less. It was how Jessie did everything.

And it scared him.

J
ESSIE WASN
'
T SURE
how she ended up kissing Nathan, but she wasn't about to question it. One minute they were looking up at the stars, the next she was under him with his hand on her waist, his knee parting her thighs, and hers fingers gripping his solid arms, unwilling to let him go. She couldn't fathom what part of her brain thought it was a good idea to continue letting Nathan kiss her; although at this moment, she couldn't think of anything else she'd rather do. She felt like she'd been transported back in time, except the first time they'd kissed, Nathan hadn't been this muscular, and she had gotten her heart broken. In typical Hart woman fashion, Jessie let her emotions carry her along, ignoring the consequences, knowing she would deal with the repercussions later.

Even though she didn't want to think about them right now, the worries swirled through her mind like a stirred hornet's nest. Nathan had broken her heart once before, he was sure to do it again. As much as she hated what he'd done, she'd never quite stopped loving him and hoping he'd come back.

She needed to remain focused on saving the ranch. Nathan was a distraction she didn't need now. Rekindling her relationship with Nathan was the last thing she needed to do.

When he sucked at her lower lip, she sighed and all the nagging worries and questions scattered, leaving only sensation behind. Jessie arched against him. When his tongue licked at the corner of her mouth, teasing her lips apart, toying with her, Jessie's hands slid over his broad shoulders to the nape of his neck, drawing him to her fully. She plunged her tongue into his mouth. She'd never been a patient woman, and Nathan's touch sent her reeling. It might prove to be her worst idea ever, but she wanted Nathan Kerrington, consequences be damned.

As her tongue danced with his, she pulled at his shirt, tugging at the snaps on the front, eager to feel the warmth of his skin under her palms. His hands moved up to her ribcage, and she felt his thumb trace the curve of her breast. Her entire body seemed to burn from within, pleasure cresting through her in waves, making her limbs tingle. He groaned against her lips, and she felt his fingers clench at her sides even as he began to ease himself from her.

No!
Her body cried out like a petulant child
.

She slid her hands to his lower back and arched against him again, feeling his erection against her thigh but unwilling to release him and face reality. If he moved away now, she was going to have to face the results of her recklessness, and she'd much rather not face that disgrace just yet. If ever.

Nathan withdrew but only slightly, his lips moved to her jaw, trailing kisses over the hollow of her throat, along the outer shell of her ear. Jessie shivered against him.

His lips moved against her skin. “See, you do find me irresistible.”

She sent up a prayer of thanks at the cocky, playful tone of his voice. No harm, no foul, no broken hearts, no regrets. Just two consenting adults attracted to one another, kissing under the stars. At least, that was what she'd keep telling herself. They should be able to salvage some sort of working relationship without it being awkward. After all, they weren't kids anymore.

“I wouldn't say ‘irresistible.' ” She smiled as he moved the neckline of her T-shirt to the side and gently bit where her shoulder and neck met. Jessie gasped and felt heat pool between her legs.

“I supposed this is just some of the
fun
I missed growing up in the city?”

“Hmmm,” she agreed, sighing as his hands found where her shirt had tugged free from the waistband of her pants. His fingers moved over the flat plane of her belly and caused spirals of pleasure to shoot through her limbs like lightning. “Among other things.”

He drew his head back and looked down at her, frowning, his eyes puzzled. “There's more?”

Jessie brushed a stray lock of hair back from his forehead, gathering her courage and tried for her most flirtatious laugh. “I know you city boys know about second base.”

His eyes suddenly hardened and he moved away, sitting up and adjusting his shirt. Gone was the playful, seductive man she'd seen only seconds ago, and she felt cold at the loss. A chill broke over her skin, and she ran her hands over her arms as he rose. Nathan stood and walked to the edge of the rocks and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, staring off into the night.

Jessie frowned at his back. “Did I say something wrong?” She stood and tucked her shirt back into her waistband, taking a few steps toward him.

“No.”

His rigid spine and clenched fists shouted yes.

She heard him sigh into the darkness. “What river is this?”

The moment was lost. She could hear it in his voice. Wall Street had returned and replaced the playful Nathan she'd enjoyed the evening with—the one she'd long ago given her heart to. She should have known it was nothing more than a fantasy. He was back to being all about the business he'd come to discuss.

If he didn't want to talk about what just happened, Jessie could ignore it as well. She'd grown used to faking smiles and playing parts for others. Pretending the only man she'd ever loved hadn't left her behind like a one-night stand.

“It's one of the forks of the American River. The river is the reason this ranch looks so lush. It feeds several creeks throughout the property. It's also part of why it made a great cattle ranch since we don't need to rely on wells for irrigation.”

“That would make Heart Fire land pretty desirable.”

He sounded contemplative and that worried her. “I guess.” Jessie shrugged, wondering what he was getting at.

Nathan looked back at her over his shoulder, and she could read the regret in his eyes. “Look, Jess, it's not you. I just . . . ”

He made his way back to where she stood at the edge of the blanket, watching him. He ran his hands down her arms and reached for hers. She let him but her body remained stiff, fighting the desire to curl her arms around his waist and lay her head against his chest. She wanted to go back to the way things had been that summer, to forget the way he'd abandoned her and let her heart beat in time with his again.

“You're Justin's sister. And I don't get involved with clients. Being with you would make things . . . complicated.”

Jessie felt her heart wither a little, but she wasn't about to let him see it. She'd been weak and let down her guard. She pulled her hands away from his and laughed at him. “Do I look like I'm still the same eighteen-year-old girl you left behind? For crying out loud, it was just a kiss, Nathan.”