Heaven's Queen (6 page)

The delicious taste coupled with the warmth of the soup in my stomach had stirred up a deep, complex mix of homesickness and comfort, which was strange, because I was sure I’d never eaten a soup like this before. But it wasn’t until I spooned the final dumpling into my mouth that I realized the truth. I couldn’t remember eating the soup before because I hadn’t. The warm nostalgia wasn’t mine; it was Rupert’s, and it came with a memory.

This one was softer than the others, floating to the top of my mind like a warm bubble rather than shoving its way to the front. In it, a large woman with steel-gray hair and deep wrinkles sat at a wooden table kneading golden dough with sharp punches from her gnarled hands. Behind her on the stove, a pot of soup was cooking, filling the whole house with that same familiar, delicious smell.

As always with Rupert’s memories, the vision vanished quickly, leaving only a strange feeling of warmth mixed with loss so strong I had to blink a few times to keep from tearing up. I finished the dregs of my second bowl in silence and then walked over to the little sink. “Thank you for the soup,” I said, keeping my voice light as I washed out my bowl. “It was your grandmother’s recipe, wasn’t it?”

I had my back to him, but it didn’t matter. I
heard
Rupert go still. It wasn’t even a sound, just a deepening of the silence, like I was suddenly alone in the room. It was so alarming, I looked over my shoulder to make sure he hadn’t vanished in a poof of smoke only to find Rupert staring at me like he’d seen a ghost.

When he saw me looking, Rupert dropped his eyes. “How many of my memories did you get?”

The question caught me by surprise. I’d gotten so used to having him in my head, I’d forgotten I hadn’t actually discussed this with him yet. “I’m not sure,” I said with a shrug. “They’re not my memories, so I can’t just reach for them and count. They only come up when they’re triggered by something, like the taste of the soup.”

I kept my voice casual, trying to show him this was no big deal, but Rupert was still deathly silent, so I decided to move the conversation in a happier direction. “Tell me about your grandmother,” I said, turning around to put my bowl on the rack to dry. “She looked nice, and she was obviously a good cook. Did she teach you to make anything else?”

I paused, waiting for him to answer. When he didn’t, I looked over … and almost jumped out of my skin. I hadn’t even heard him move, but Rupert was suddenly right next to me. “Goddammit, Rupert,” I snapped, smacking him on the arm. “Don’t
do
that!”

“Sorry,” he said quietly, but he didn’t step back.

“Just give me some warning next time,” I scolded him. “Make a noise or something.”

Rupert shook his head. “No, it’s…” He trailed off with a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry for everything, but the memories especially. I would have kept them from you if I could, but the daughters can’t return memories without guidance, and whenever you go into someone’s mind, especially someone you care about and share a history with, you can’t help leaving things behind.”

I sighed as well. “It’s okay. I already forgave you, remember?”

“It’s not okay,” he said. “You shouldn’t be burdened with my past. It’s not a good place. You shouldn’t have to see that.”

His voice changed as he spoke, growing thinner and quieter just as it had when he’d told me the truth of what he’d done as an Eye. That in turn made me remember what he’d said before he’d taken my memories the first time, when he’d pulled me out from under the trauma shell to confess that he loved me even though he knew he didn’t deserve to, that he wasn’t worthy of my affection. Now as then, the idea made me angry, so much so that I had to take a deep breath to make sure I didn’t accidentally trigger the virus. Because while I might not be able to make the call just yet on what exactly Rupert was to me, it was still my call to make. No one decided who was worthy of me except myself.

I reached down and grabbed Rupert’s hands. He jumped a little at the sudden contact, but I held on tight, glaring at him until he met my eyes. “Listen,” I said when I was sure I had his attention. “If I say it’s okay, it’s okay. You did what you did to save my life, and I’ll take bad memories over a grave any day. So stop apologizing, because there’s nothing left to forgive. Understand?”

“No,” Rupert said sharply. “Devi, those memories will stay with you for the rest of your life. You might not have even seen the worst yet, so you can’t just forgive—”

“You can’t tell me what I can and can’t forgive,” I snapped. “It’s my forgiveness. And anyway, it’s thanks to you that I have a rest of my life to be worried about, so you’ll just have to put up with me not hating you.”

Rupert stared at me for a long moment, and then he bowed his head, leaning down until his forehead rested against mine. “How are you like this?” he whispered. “How can you just let this go?”

I took a deep breath. Other than our foreheads and our hands, Rupert and I weren’t actually touching, but it didn’t seem to matter. I could feel his warmth across the few inches that separated us, and my whole body was twitching with the sudden urge to wrap myself around him. But then, Rupert was always like this for me. The nearness of him was so overwhelming I hadn’t even noticed that he’d trapped me against the sink until I felt the cold metal lip pressing into my lower back. Worse, I couldn’t seem to make myself care. All the smart, careful plans I’d made to keep my head on straight and not let myself get burned by him again seemed suddenly pointless. And as his fingers tightened around mine, filling my body with the memory of just how good those fingers could feel, I began to wonder, why was I holding back again?

But just as I pushed up on my toes to bring my lips to his, Rupert’s head shot up.

I jumped in surprise, knocking my back painfully against the sink. “What?”

Rupert put a finger to his lips, looking pointedly toward the living room. I nodded, holding my breath as I listened, but I didn’t hear anything except the constant rustle of the soypen outside. I was about to push out of his arms and go investigate for myself when I caught the soft but very familiar hiss of a stabilizer. A Paradoxian armor stabilizer, shifting a large amount of weight.

That was all the warning I got before the back door of the house exploded.

I
ducked on instinct, covering my face with my hands, but with Rupert curled over my body, the hail of wood didn’t even touch me. He was up again a second later, turning around so that I was caught behind him. When I tried to wiggle out, he pinned me in place with his arm, forcing me to look over his shoulder as the soldiers walked in.

Considering the long list of people looking for us, I was expecting symbionts, or maybe Terrans. I should have trusted my ears, though, because the suits that came in to flank us were clearly Paradoxian. There were three that I could see, one at the back door, his foot still coming down from the kick that had splintered it, and two more who’d busted in through the front and were now moving to block the door to the living room.

I swore, shoving at Rupert in a futile attempt to break free, not that it would have done me any good. There were now two suits of Knight-class armor between me and my Lady, still charging in her box in the corner of the living room. I didn’t have a gun or thermite; I didn’t even have shoes on. The best I could manage was a kitchen knife, which wouldn’t even scratch Paradoxian plating, especially not these suits.

The soldier’s armor was painted in the red and silver of the Paradoxian Home Guard, which meant this was the king’s business. Considering he’d handed me over to the Eyes like a present, I could guess well enough what that business was. You can imagine my shock, then, when the soldier wearing officer’s colors stopped short, lowering his gun.

“Devi?”

I knew that voice, but I still didn’t quite believe it until the officer flicked up his visor to reveal a familiar, and very pissed off, face.

“Anthony?” I said, leaning into Rupert’s back as I tried to get a better view. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I…” Anthony faded off into a sputter. “What the
hell
is going on?” he shouted, pointing at Rupert with his gun. “Who’s he?”

I felt Rupert go stiff, but it was too late. I’d already hopped up on the sink and slid sideways, jumping down on the other side, out of his grasp. Anthony started forward to meet me, but Rupert cut him off at once, though he didn’t try to pin me again. Good thing, too, because I was in no mood for gallantry. Especially not when the man he was trying to protect me from had been my friend and lover for over seven years.

“He’s with me,” I said. “Now, why are you here?”

Anthony shot Rupert a nasty look before turning back to me. “I’m here for
you
. I got an emergency message from a Blackbird that you’d showed up here with some Terran, and I came as fast as I could.”

I gaped at him. “Why would you—”

“I thought you were
dead
!” Anthony shouted. “Goddammit, Devi, you send me that letter, then you brush me off, and then, before I can come pick you up, the whole universe goes nuts because Reaper’s laid siege to Montblanc on your account. And then the lizards get slagged by the damn lelgis and no one knows why and you’re gone for a year and
what the hell was I supposed to think?
”

I snapped my mouth shut. All of this had happened so recently for me I hadn’t actually stopped to consider what it must have looked like from the outside. Now that Anthony spelled it out for me, though, it did sound pretty bad.

“I wouldn’t even know you were alive if Hicks hadn’t tipped me off,” Anthony continued. “I almost didn’t believe him, but I was so desperate I came anyway. I flew all the way out to this dust speck on a
hope
, and when I finally find you, you’re shacking up with a goddamn
Terran
!”

“Rupert has nothing to do with this,” I said pointedly. “Look, I’m sorry—”

“Oh, that’s his name?” Anthony said, cutting me off with a nasty sneer. “So you have time to play house with him but you don’t even think of sending a note back home to let the people who’ve been worrying about you know you’re alive?”

“It’s not like that!” I shouted.

“I don’t care what it’s like,” Anthony said. “You’re coming home. Right now. You can tell me the rest on the flight back to Paradox.”

That was the last straw. Anthony might be a captain, but I was not his soldier, and he did
not
give me orders. I was about to tell him as much when Rupert stepped in front of me.

“That’s enough of that,” he said in King’s Tongue. “Ms. Morris is not going anywhere.”

The words rolled out with the same smooth, authoritative, high-class Kingston accent he’d used back at the embassy. Unfortunately, it didn’t work as well this time.

“You shut up,” Anthony snapped, getting in Rupert’s face. Normally, that would have been hard since Anthony wasn’t much taller than I was. In his armor, though, he and Rupert were at eye level. “I don’t know who you think you are, asshole,” he snarled. “But you don’t dictate to me. This farce is over. She’s going home with me, so back off.”

Since Rupert had his back to me, I couldn’t see his expression, but it didn’t matter. I could practically feel the cold little smile that must have been on his face as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out what looked like a thin, leather wallet. “No,” he said, flipping open his Royal Warrant. “She’s not.”

Anthony’s eyes went wide. “What the hell is this?”

“Thank you for coming all the way out here, Captain,” Rupert went on as though Anthony hadn’t spoken. “You’ve saved us a great deal of trouble. Now, under the authority of the Sacred King, I’ll be requisitioning your ship. You may give me your authorization codes now.”

The blood drained from Anthony’s face as Rupert spoke, leaving him chalk white. The two soldiers he’d brought with him were also looking spooked, and I didn’t blame them. Royal Warrants were serious business, as good as the king’s own command. Seeing that, I fully expected Anthony to back off and bow out like a captain should, but he did no such thing. Though he was pale as death, he held his ground, glaring at Rupert with more hate than I’d known he could muster. “I don’t think so, pal.”

“Sir!” one of his officers said, just as I yelled, “Anthony!” But it was Rupert’s voice that cut through everything else as he said, “Shut down.”

Anthony’s guards froze as their armor locked up, and I flinched in sympathy. But while his men were frozen, Anthony’s armor stayed online, and he gave Rupert a bone-chilling smirk as he recited, “Override One. Voice Authorization: Captain Anthony Pierce, Home Guard Unit Nine, Kingston Division.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, the soldiers’ suits came back online. Not a second later, both of them had their guns trained on Rupert, and Anthony, standing between them, was grinning like a gladiator standing over his fallen opponent.

“Nice try,” he said, lifting his own cannon of an anti-armor pistol, the one I’d helped him pick out three years ago. “But that trick doesn’t work on the king’s Home Guard. Not that you have any right to that Warrant in the first place, you Terran piece of shit.”

“Anthony!” I shouted, horrified. “Are you insane? You can’t just ignore a Warrant! It’s blasphemy! They’ll hang you!” I paused to let that sink in, but Anthony wasn’t even looking at me. “Back the hell off!” I shouted, shoving out from behind Rupert. “So help me, I will report your ass if you don’t stand down!”

“Report me to whom?” Anthony said, never taking his eyes off Rupert. “This isn’t the king’s space, Devi. It’s a little cash colony in the middle of nowhere, and the chief of security is a loyal Paradoxian who values the goodwill of a Home Guard captain far more than some Terran agent’s hide.” He lifted his arm, aiming his gun at Rupert’s head. “I could shoot him right here and no one would ever know.”

Even knowing normal guns couldn’t really hurt him, Rupert looked remarkably calm for someone who had three giant anti-armor pistols pointed at his face. He just folded his Warrant and slipped it back into his pocket before shooting Anthony an indulgent smile. “Last chance not to make a mistake, Captain.”