Heaven's Queen (8 page)

With this in mind, I spent the two minutes it took to clean and bandage the hand I’d burned on Rupert’s disrupter pistol trying to see things from Anthony’s perspective.

It wasn’t as hard as you’d think. Despite our present situation, Anthony was one of my oldest and dearest friends. Not counting the time I’d lost in hyperspace, we’d been seeing each other regularly since my second year in the army, which meant he was probably the closest thing I’d ever had to an actual boyfriend. We’d never put a name on our arrangement, and we’d both taken plenty of other lovers, but he’d always been the first person I called when I came home. Seeing that, I could understand why—after thinking I was dead for months and then flying all the way out here on a rumor that I might not be—finding me almost kissing another man would have sent Anthony over the edge. Not that it excused him attacking Rupert or ignoring the king’s Warrant, but I could at least see where he was coming from. That understanding helped me maintain my cool as I tied the bandage tight around my hand and walked out of the bathroom to face the music.

I didn’t see anyone when I went downstairs. I did notice that Rupert had cleaned out the house, though. The bedroom was stripped and the kitchen was spotless, everything put back in its place. A little looking turned up Anthony’s guards standing out front, staring down the road toward their ship.

Now that I saw it, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t heard the thing set down. Anthony had landed his damn cruiser not five hundred feet from our house, crushing a huge swath of soypen in the process. Hicks was out there as well, staring at the ruined plants in dismay, probably because they’d be coming out of his paycheck. Of course, considering he’d been the one who tipped Anthony off, I wasn’t feeling particularly sympathetic to his plight. But for all the ruckus, I didn’t see Rupert or Anthony anywhere, and for a moment I was half afraid they were off finishing their duel where I couldn’t stop them. Before I could get too worried, though, I spotted Anthony stalking back and forth through the dense soypen forest behind the house.

He must have been listening for my footsteps, because he turned around the second I walked through the broken back door. He had his helmet off, so there was nothing to hide the betrayal on his face as I joined him. I refused to let that disturb my hard-won calm, though. I walked right up to him cool as you please, folding my arms over my chest as I tilted my head back to meet his eyes.

When it was clear I wasn’t going to speak first, Anthony sighed, running a gloved hand through his dark brown hair. “I didn’t think you’d show.”

“I said I would,” I replied, leaning against the smooth trunk of the nearest soypen.

“And do you have anything else to say?” Anthony snapped. “Anything at all for me after I came all this way?”

“I didn’t ask—”

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” he growled. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through?”

I put up my hand. “Stop. Just stop a second and listen.”

He shut his mouth with an angry huff. When it stayed closed, I continued. “I’m sorry I worried you,” I said in a measured voice. “I didn’t mean to disappear for so long. We had to do a wild jump to escape Reaper’s ship and we lost time in hyperspace as a result. We actually just got out not thirty hours ago, and I spent most of those asleep. That said, I’m still sorry I scared you. I hope you know I’d never do anything like that on purpose.”

“I do know…” Anthony said, but his voice trailed off as he glanced through the soypen in the direction of his ship. “What’s going on, Devi? Why are you out here, of all places, and with a symbiont? And what the hell did you do to piss off Reaper so bad he’d siege a core world to get you?”

I grinned. “Made the news, did I?”

Anthony snorted. “More like dominated it. That picture he put up of you was everywhere. Reaper was as aggressive as they come, but even he stayed away from the major colonies. And then, out of nowhere, he comes in with a full siege, demanding you as payment. So when he vanished ten minutes later, everyone presumed he got you.”

He looked at me, and I nodded. “Yeah, he got me.”

“Did you really give yourself up to save Montblanc?”

I made a face, because the truth was exactly opposite. We’d been trying to get
away
from Montblanc under Caldswell’s orders when Reaper caught us. But I couldn’t tell Anthony that, so all I said was, “More or less.”

“It was all anyone talked about for weeks,” he said. “There was talk about going to war with Reaper for real, not just skirmishes. Before the Republic could vote on it, though, they found the burned ships.”

I knew where this was going, but I asked anyway. “Burned?”

Anthony nodded. “The Terrans tried to keep it secret, but we’ve got good intel that the lelgis burned every one of Reaper’s ships to a cinder. We also know they’re the ones who burned Stoneclaw’s ships, meaning the squids have now taken out two of the three known xith’cal tribes.”

“What about the Bloodtooth?” I asked. The Bloodtooth tribe was the one I’d dealt with the least since they were on the opposite edge of the galaxy and mostly preyed on the Aeon Sevalis, but they were rumored to be absolutely awful, even for xith’cal.

“In retreat,” Anthony said. “They ran for the Waste Belt soon as word got out, though they won’t stay there long. Not even the lelgis can keep the xith’cal from making a play with such prime hunting grounds up for grabs.”

That would be nasty business once it started, but still, the loss of two tribes was an enormous blow to the xith’cal. It was a different universe, a safer one, and I’d helped make it that way. I’d killed Reaper, the ancient enemy, and his whole tribe with him. Now that I actually thought about it, I realized this meant I’d probably killed more xith’cal than all of Terran Starfleet put together. Not that I could explain that to Anthony without getting into the virus, but if I ever did get to take credit, I’d be a war hero for sure. The king might even knight me, assuming I survived to claim the honor.

“But I didn’t come here to talk about the news,” Anthony said, scowling again. “And you still haven’t answered my question. What’s going on? Really?”

Now it was my turn to sigh. “It’s complicated. I can’t explain right now.”

“Why not?” Anthony demanded. “Does it have to do with that damn Warrant of his?”

I glowered at him. “If it did, do you think I’d tell you?”

“Don’t you dare try and brush me off,” Anthony said, stepping closer. “Not after I came all the way out here. Do you have any idea what the last few months have been like for me? I was the one who told you about Caldswell. It was my fault you were on that death trap of a ship to begin with, and now you’re wrapped up with a symbiont and Reaper and god knows what else.”

“I think you’re taking a little too much credit,” I said. “You gave me the tip, sure, but I made the decision to go. Everything I’ve done has been my own choice, not yours.”

“I went to your damn
funeral
,” Anthony said, his voice rising. “Full honors service—I made sure of it. And while your mother was sobbing over your empty casket, all I could think was that I should have prevented it. I had trackers going for Caldswell’s ship as soon as I got your letter. I saw you put down in Wuxia. I could have gone for you then, taken you away, but I didn’t want to push you. I thought you’d reach out to me on your own when things got bad. But you never did.”

His voice was so bitter I winced, but Anthony wasn’t done. “After Montblanc, I put out word to every person you might possibly contact,” he said, stepping closer. “The Blackbirds, our army friends,
everyone
, offering a reward for any information about you. We knew you’d left the embassy, but no one had seen you leave the planet, so I had hope you might still be alive.”

He was right in front of me now, so close I could feel the soft brush of his breath on my cheek. The invasion of my personal space had me bristling, but I didn’t dare push him away. I’d never seen Anthony this worked up before.

“I had to believe there was still a chance to find you,” he whispered, leaning down and in until we were nose to nose. “I couldn’t accept that you were gone. Not before I told you.”

“Told me what?” I whispered back.

I saw his lips quirk in a smile right before he pressed them to mine. “That I love you.”

I jerked back, staring at him like he’d lost his damn mind. “Are you kidding?”

Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best response to a confession, but Anthony had caught me completely off guard.

“Oh, come on,” he said, straightening up again. “This can’t be a surprise. I’ve loved you for years. You have to know that.”

“N-no, I don’t!” I sputtered. “What about all your other girlfriends? You almost married that one girl from Summerland. How could you do that and claim you love me?”

Anthony at least had the decency to look embarrassed. “I was trying to make you jealous,” he admitted. “Those other girls didn’t mean a thing to me, no more than all your one-night stands meant to you. I was the only one you came back to year after year. I thought if I was always there for you, you’d see that eventually.”

“And you never thought you should clue me in?”

Anthony reached out, running his gloved fingers gently down my jaw. “I know you,” he said. “If I’d told you the truth, you would have run. Hell, the one time I suggested you move in, you hopped on Caldswell’s cursed ship and never came back.”

I swore under my breath. Couldn’t argue with that.

“Devi,” Anthony whispered, leaning in close again. “It’s not too late. I don’t know what business that symbiont has you wrapped up in, but you don’t have to go with him.”

“Where else would I go?”

“Home,” Anthony said sharply. “With me, where you belong. He’s on my ship right now, but I’ve still got the codes. I can detonate the entire missile complement from here if—”

I sighed. “Anthony, he’s not holding me prisoner, and I’m not letting you kill him. Look, I know you’re trying to protect me, but I don’t need it.”

“Don’t need…” Anthony trailed off, eyes wide. “Devi, you got taken by a xith’cal tribe lord and then vanished for eight months without a trace—”

“I was in hyperspace!” I cried.

“—only to turn up again with a symbiont,” Anthony said over me, his voice getting angrier with every word. “
Sleeping
with a symbiont, and you say you don’t need me to bring you back to your senses?”

“We’re not sleeping together!” At least, not recently. “And even if we were, that’s none of your damn business!”

“Of course it’s my business!” Anthony shouted. “Did you completely miss the part of my letter where I told you that symbionts are alien killing machines?”

“Rupert isn’t like that!” I shouted back. My hold on my temper was starting to crumble now, but I was just so sick of people who didn’t know shit taking cracks at Rupert. “He’s a good man who’s saved my life more times than I can count.”

“Listen to yourself,” Anthony said. “You sound like you’re in love with that monster!”

“That’s none of your business either,” I said coldly. I couldn’t sort out my feelings for Rupert myself right now, like hell was I discussing them with Anthony. “And he’s
not
a monster.”

“He ripped apart two suits of military-grade Knight’s armor with his bare hands!” Anthony cried. “What else do you need?”

“And what part of ‘none of your business’ don’t you understand?”

“It
is
my business!” Anthony roared. “I love you! And even if you don’t feel the same way, I don’t want to see you get hurt, which is exactly what’s going to happen if you stay with him!”

“I don’t have to listen to this,” I said, pushing off the soypen to go back to the house.

I’d made it less than a foot before Anthony grabbed my arm. “I did some more digging into symbionts after I sent that letter,” he growled, tightening his grip. “Do you know why the Republic banned them?”

“I already know all about the instability,” I said, trying to pry his hand off me.

“Instability doesn’t begin to describe it,” Anthony said. “The symbiont part of them is made from the xith’cal, but it’s more than just scales and hopped-up regeneration. The alien also gives them the xith’cal’s bloodlust. There are reports of symbiont soldiers going crazy, even
eating
their comrades. They’re monsters in the truest sense, and you want me to just stand back and let you fly off with one like he’s your goddamn boyfriend?”

“Yes!” I shouted, finally breaking free. “Because like it or not, you don’t control me or my life! Look, I’m sorry I worried you and I’m sorry I got you involved, but this really is none of your concern, Anthony.”

“Damn you, Devi!” Anthony cried. “Does it not even occur to you that there are people who care about you? Who’ve already had to deal with your death once and don’t want to do it again? I don’t know what mission you think you’re on, but it cannot possibly be more important than your life.”

He reached out again, grabbing my hand, but his grip was gentle this time. “Whatever trouble you’re in, we can deal with it,” he said, softly now. “I’m captain of the entire Ninth District of Kingston now. I’ve got contacts all the way up the Royal Office. I can get you anything you need. Just don’t vanish again. Don’t go with him. That man is a Terran and a symbiont. He doesn’t understand you. I do. I can protect you, Devi, so come home. Come home to Paradox where you belong. Come home with me.” He lifted my hand, pressing my knuckles to his lips. “Please.”

That whispered
please
was the closest I’d ever heard proud Anthony Pierce come to begging, and part of me was surprisingly touched. Because I liked Anthony, I really did. It was the reason I’d stuck with him as long as I had. But for all that, I didn’t love him, and now I was sure I never could. Any man who thought I wanted protection or that I had nothing I valued more than my life didn’t understand me at all.

“I’m sorry, Anthony,” I said, pulling my hand away. “I can’t.”

Anthony shut his eyes, his fingers slowly closing over the empty space where mine had been. “Can you at least tell me why?”

“No,” I said. “But I can tell you I’m not being forced, and I’m not doing any of this for Rupert. Whatever you might think, we’re not here because we ran away together. We’re only stuck on this planet by accident, and now that we’ve got a ship, we’re getting back to work. I can’t tell you what we’re doing, but believe me when I say it’s important, and that I’m doing it of my own choice.”