Her Cowboy Protector (16 page)

It pained her to think of just how badly she wanted to be that someone. Less than a week with Niall and she'd grown ridiculously attached to him. He really was everything she'd always wanted in a man. Loyal, kind, gentle but tough. He was the kind of man who knew how to treat a woman right and how to protect her when it counted most.

And she really did believe that he'd be an amazing father someday.

But not to my son
.

She cared for Niall but feared nothing could ever come of it. Cruz wasn't even sure she was capable of having an adult relationship. The last thing Niall needed was a broken woman who couldn't give him all the comfort and love he required.

"You okay?" Niall pumped her shoulders to get her attention. "You drifted."

"Oh. Sorry," she said with a self-conscious laugh. "I was thinking about this cipher."

"Looks like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me."

"It's not nearly as difficult as it looks."

"You check out that website that John's mother gave you?"

"Yes, but it's just a page with a login. When you click on the login box, the username is filled in with a combination of John and Daniela's names but the password is blank."

"And you have no idea what it is?"

She shook her head. "Clearly John assumed I'd figure it out. It's probably something ridiculously obvious. I've tried their birthdays, their anniversary, and their names but no go." She pursed her lips with annoyance. "I have a feeling I'm going to have to break this cipher and then use that source code for the password. It's probably their names in numbers or their birthdates or anniversaries in letters."

"Yeah, that's way over my head. I'll take that as my cue to leave you be and watch some ESPN."

An hour later, she packed it in for the night. Cruz pushed back from her makeshift desk and did some slow yoga like stretches. She'd been good about getting up every hour to walk around the cabin and take a bathroom break. Those old days of sitting at a desk and working for hours on end were long gone. Having a cantaloupe doing somersaults in her belly wasn't very conducive to all-nighters.

While she showered and changed into a night shirt, Cruz couldn't shake Niall from her thoughts. As recent as last week, she'd been sure no man would ever want her again. Who in their right mind would want to take on the mother of a child who'd been created in the most violent of circumstances? That was the cue for most men to run—and she wouldn't blame them. It was a lot, too much really, but it was her reality.

Until Niall.

Last night, he'd fanned the flames of hope. As she'd drifted off in his arms, she'd allowed herself to dream of the possibilities without limitation. Sure, what she and Niall had shared had been borne more of mutual need and desperation for affection rather than good old romance but that didn't mean there wasn't a future there. They connected on a deeper level, one she'd never reached with any other man. He
got
her in ways no other man could and she felt certain she
got
him like no other woman.

She was touched deeply by the lengths he was willing to go to for her. He hadn't fooled her at all with that taking a walk business. She'd spied him from the window, crouching down along the treeline and checking something. She might not be a skilled Special Forces soldier but she knew a perimeter check when she saw one. No doubt there were alarms of some kind shielding the house.

He wanted her to believe this was just a nice, cozy hunting cabin but she wasn't buying it. Niall was worried. He suspected the worst was coming but he refused to tell her. He probably thought that was the best way to protect her. Knowing Niall, he probably assumed she'd flip out completely and develop high blood pressure complications.

Cruz emerged from the bedroom and discovered Niall still on the couch with his feet on the coffee table. He lowered the crossword puzzle he'd been working on while she showered.

"Four letters. Clue is roulette bet."

"Um…" Cruz dug through her purse for some lip balm and applied a thin layer to her dry lips. "Even?"

He shook his head. "Doesn't fit."

"Noir?"

He studied the puzzle. "That works."

"Glad to hear it." She sat down on the couch and tried to lift her aching foot to her knee. Her enormous belly got in the way and she scowled.

"Feet hurt?"

"My dogs are barking tonight."

"Come here." He stood up and indicated the spot he'd just vacated. Cruz happily moved into the cushy warm corner while he plopped onto the coffee table. He pulled her feet onto his lap and gestured to the crossword puzzle with his chin. "You can write and I'll supply the answers."

Cruz relaxed and read out the clues as Niall's hands worked their magic on her throbbing feet. His thumbs kneaded her sore arches and swept down the length of her sole. His ability to multitask impressed her.

When the last few blanks were filled in, she set aside the folded newspaper and pen. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the wonderful massaging sensation. For a precious few moments, she allowed herself to believe they were just like any other couple. There was no maniacal assassin on her tail, no crazy deputy dropping rattlesnakes in trucks. It was just the two of them, together, safe and sound in this cabin. They could be any typical couple enjoying a country getaway.

"What are you thinking?" Niall's low timbre penetrated her thoughts.

She met his questioning gaze. "That I wish things were different."

His fingers halted. "How so?"

"I wish we'd met under different circumstances."

"Oh, I don't know." Niall resumed his massaging. "It's an exciting start to a relationship. Think of the stories we can tell."

Cruz's stomach leapt with hope and excitement. "Do you mean that, Niall?"

"Mean what?" He smiled coyly, fully aware he was vexing her.

"That this is the beginning of a relationship."

"I don't do one-night stands, Cruz." His hands slid along her ankles to the middle of her calves and back down again. His touch elicited shivers of anticipation. "I'm looking for something a bit more permanent."

"Oh?" She gulped as his hands slid higher up the insides of her legs.

"Mmhmm." He rubbed the insides of her knees and let his fingernails graze her inner thighs. "What about you, Cruz? What do you want?"

"You," she admitted, nearly breathless now. "You make me feel things I thought I'd never feel again, Niall. And those feelings are stronger and scarier."

"Scarier? I scare you?"

"Not in the way you're thinking," she hurriedly explained. "I meant only that when we're together like this, like last night, I'm so happy it scares me. I'm afraid of letting go and letting you in because…well…I have a lot of baggage."

"Like I don't?"

"Yes, but my baggage is a bit different than yours. And—"—she touched her belly—"I come with a baby."

"I'm not afraid of being a father to that baby, Cruz. Well," he said with a nervous laugh, "actually I'm terrified of the idea of being a father but I'm fairly certain I can muddle through it."

Cruz chortled. "Well that's reassuring.

Niall laughed as he bent forward to press a kiss to her kneecap. When his hands grasped the hem of her nightshirt and slowly pushed it up her thighs, she nearly passed out from sheer eagerness. Her mouth went dry and she swallowed desperately. Niall's lips grazed the tops of her thighs. He dragged his mouth side to side, the prickly stubble rasping her skin. He peppered kisses up and down her thighs, going as far as her cotton panties before stopping.

His green eyes bore into hers. "Tell me, Cruz. Tell me what you want."

She couldn't find the words. They were right there on the tip of her tongue. Her face burned with embarrassment. She'd never found it so hard to ask for what she wanted.

Niall had mercy on her. "Do you want this?" He dropped his mouth to her thigh again. "Or this?" His lips moved higher and touched the inside of her thigh. "Or maybe this?"

When he pressed a tender kiss to her panties, Cruz gasped and rocked against him. "Don't stop, Niall." Her begging tone elicited a sexy chuckle from him. "Please." She clutched at his shoulders, suddenly terrified he'd pull away and put an end to his seductive game.

Niall clasped her waist and sat forward enough to nuzzle his nose against hers. "You're running this show, understand? We can do everything or nothing and anything in between." He swiped his lips over hers in a teasing move. "This is all about you."

"I want you, Niall." Her breathless admission left her shivering with anticipation. "I want it to be you. I need it to be you." She let her feet drop to the floor and slid toward the edge of the couch cushion, insinuating herself between his knees. "Make love to me, Niall."

He growled hungrily and claimed her mouth with such insistence it knocked the air right out of her lungs. She held tight to his shirt as the world spun around her. This! Oh, this was what she'd been missing. This breathless, shuddery sensation of lust that made her toes curl. That monster had hurt her but he hadn't succeeded in killing off the sensual, passionate woman inside. Niall's masterful kisses awakened that side of her she'd buried in fear and shame.

She embraced her carnal side and allowed Niall's tongue entrance to her mouth. His tongue dipped between her lips and tangled with hers. She moaned excitedly as passion ignited in her core. Niall made her feel so wild and ravenous. His fingers sifted through her hair and took hold of the long tendrils. The slight tugging sensation set her scalp alight with tingling. She whispered his name and cupped the back of his neck before taking possession of his mouth and kissing him the way she'd been fantasizing about for days.

Niall broke away from their kiss. His eyes seemed so dark with desire. The stared at one another and panted. "Bedroom?"

She sucked in a quick breath and nodded. "Yes. Please."

He lifted her legs and wound them around his waist. In one swift movement, he stood with her clamped tight to his front. Cruz's eyes widened. "Niall! Put me down. You're going to throw out your back."

He laughed and kissed her cheek. "Hush."

She started to remind him that she was eight months pregnant but he kissed the protest right out of her. Concern for his back forgotten, she surrendered to his searching kiss. She'd never been carried and kissed before and found the sensation strange and exciting.

Once in the bedroom, Niall lowered her to the ground. He wasted no time in stripping her naked. She quickly returned the favor, jerking his shirt overheard and yanking down his pajama bottoms. Their hasty movements were punctuated with brief, playful kisses and laughing. Niall pressed his forehead to hers and held her hips. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the waves of heat radiating from him.

Niall's rough hands roamed her body. Goosebumps blossomed on her skin. His palms swept over her shoulders and down her back. He squeezed her backside and then slid his hands along the curve of her waist to the front of her body. She quaked inside when he cupped her full breasts. His thumbs brushed across the stiff peaks. She gasped in delight because her nipples had grown so sensitive.

He slid to the floor and nuzzled his face between her breasts. She scratched her nails over his scalp and tried not to sway with the overwhelming emotions he evoked. Niall worshipped her body with his hands and mouth. She cried out when his lips fastened around a nipple. His tongue flicked the fleshy pebble and he lightly grazed her tender skin with his teeth.

She clenched her thighs together. Her clitoris throbbed almost painfully as her arousal skyrocketed. She could feel the slick, hot evidence of her arousal seeping from her core. She couldn’t remember ever being this turned-on, this needy. Niall stoked the fire of her desire with his tongue and fingers until she trembled.

Niall pressed her back onto the bed. She didn't fight him and climbed onto the mattress. He grabbed a pillow and moved it to the center of the bedspread. Those big, strong arms of his flexed as he dragged her into place. She fisted two handfuls of the quilt as Niall lifted her legs and put her heels on the edge of the bed. She knew what was coming and wanted it so desperately. She wanted to feel again, wanted to reclaim all that passion and ecstasy that had been stolen from her.

Kneeling between her thighs, Niall parted her dewy folds and traced the swollen pearl hidden there. His slowly circling fingertip sent a rush of sparks through her lower belly. "So pretty and pink and wet," he murmured as his fingertip slid even lower and swirled in the slick fluid coating her opening. "Can't wait to taste you."

No man had ever spoken to her like that. The words he used to describe her showed his enthusiasm and left her vibrating with eagerness. This wasn't a man who viewed oral sex as something to check off the foreplay list. No, Niall was showing her that he enjoyed it—and that she should too.

"Oh, God!" Cruz almost reared off the bed when Niall's tongue replaced his fingers. He flicked her clit a few times before drawing circles around it. His tongue slid lower and plunged inside her pussy. She threw her head back and fought to breathe. She could only moan and rock her hips as Niall devoured her. His fingers bit into her inner thighs as he held her wide open and rocked her world.

"Niall! Oh.
Ah!
”
That skillful tongue returned to her clit and Cruz saw stars. He swirled and flicked until she thought she just might die. Ecstasy coiled low and tight in her belly. She hovered on the edge of climax. Her breathing changed to deep, low pants as she enjoyed that fluttery sensation just before orgasm. Niall grasped her bottom, his fingers biting into the fleshy cheeks of her ass, and went wild between her thighs. She shrieked like a banshee as her orgasm crashed down upon her, the waves of pleasure bathing her in a sunny burst of pure joy.

Niall continued to lap at her clit as she came down from the wild heights of her mind-shattering climax. His playfully nipped at her inner thigh, all the while chuckling at the way she shuddered at the lightest touch. Feeling wobbly and hot, Cruz rolled onto her side and squeezed her knees together. Her clit continued to pulse. There was no ignoring the empty ache deep inside her. Niall's mouth just wasn't enough. She needed all of him.