Here For You (12 page)

He looked down to his side where the crow tattoo was, “I got it a couple of weeks back. It took fifteen hours in total.”

Hugging my stomach again, I looked around for a shirt to wear. “You’re crazy for sitting through that. What’s the meaning behind it?” I tried to get him to talk about his tattoo instead of thinking about what I was doing.

He didn’t answer. I turned to see what he was doing. He was just looking down to where my hands were hugging my non-toned stomach.

What, was he blind or something? “So, what am I supposed to be seeing exactly?” He crossed his arms over his chest, making his biceps pop, totally ignoring my question.

“You’re really going to make me spell it out, James?” I placed my hand on my hip.

Out of nowhere, he stepped closer to me, making me back up a little. Then he grabbed me by my waist, walking me backwards. Oh my goodness, what was he going to do?

“Turn around,” he commanded.

I turned around and saw that I was in front of a long mirror behind his door. His fingers were on my waist, gripping me gently. His touch sent a warm sensation through my body. Why was I feeling like this? It’s not like it was the first time James had touched me, but we were almost naked now.

His mouth was next to my ear when he whispered, causing me to close my eyes. Moving my hair to the side he said. “Look at yourself, Becca.”

Slowly, I opened my eyes to see myself in the mirror again. James’ face was right above my shoulder, looking into my eyes.

I started to examine myself up and down, finding a beautiful woman, one with a curvaceous body and silky white legs. Without warning, his hands went flat against my stomach. His hands were slightly rough but warm. Instead of goosebumps I got this fuzzy weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. It almost felt like a thousand captured butterflies flapping their wings in an enclosed net.

He was looking at me again as he said, “You’re perfect, Becca.” Then he kissed my cheek. I smiled at him through the mirror. He pulled away before making his way toward his sandals and then he left the room.

Maybe I’d just wear one of the see-through cover ups Emma had packed for me. I glanced at myself one last time before changing my mind quickly. I grabbed one of James’ band t-shirts and my shorts.

*

We took a few shots before going to the party and I took a few more shots in the car while James drove. He didn’t want to drink while he was driving so the bottle was all for me. I had no idea how we made it in one piece, but we got there. The party was outside with a bunch of people I had never met in my life. I hadn’t gone inside yet but people were leaving the house with white shit all over them.

Was that foam?

Shaking my head, I scanned the crowd and finally found Emma and Richard. She was wearing blue shorts, unbuttoned at the top, and her breasts were going to spill out of her white bikini top. Richard had his hands around her waist, keeping her close to him.
Damn, I wish Grey were here.

Richard wore dark blue swimming trunks with a black wife-beater. They really made a cute couple. I walked up to them. “You guys are so fucking cute together,” I screamed over the music, some shit I’d never heard before. Techno shit.

Emma placed a hand on my shoulders and asked, “Are you drunk again?” Biting my lips I couldn’t help the smile that was painted across my face. “I knew it, bitch. Where’s James?” she asked me.

I swayed a little. “What am I? His mother?”

“Whoa, don’t kill me!” she said close to my ear. “And what the hell are you wearing?” She had just noticed that I’d covered up my bikini, maybe she would’ve known earlier if she had not been so into Richard’s mouth. Before I knew it, she had her hands at the bottom of my shirt, pulling it off. We were having a tug of war in the middle of the party. And she won.

“Emma, give it back!” I reached to grab my shirt, stumbling a little. Don’t drink and walk, I had to remind myself. “Richard, tell her to give my shirt back!” I looked at him to help me out.

He just looked at me and shrugged. Now was my chance to get my shirt. She was looking at Richard with that ‘you better not try anything’ look. Too late, she saw me and just like that my shirt was in the middle of the damn swimming pool.

“Emma, you bitch!” I cried. When I looked her way I saw her hands over her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh. I couldn’t help but laugh along with her.

“Did I miss something?” I heard James ask. Turning around, I saw that he was wet. Water was dripping from his hair over his forehead, his tattoo on full display. I did a little shake with my head and made my way inside.

Holy shit, look at this place.

The inside of it was like a fucking club with bubbles everywhere. Looking down, I saw the foam that was covering almost half of my body. Everyone around me was swaying and dancing, having a blast. It was amazing. I’d only seen these kinds of parties in magazines or on the internet. And here I was actually at one. As I walked I kept slipping a little, making me laugh every time I almost bust my ass. I saw the bar to my far left. I should get something to drink.

As I was trying to make my way around the swarm of people I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. Reaching down, I got foam all on my hands. I wiggled it away and tried for my phone again. I answered the phone without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello,” I said, pressing a finger to my other ear so I could hear better.

“Becca?” the voice asked.

“Well yeah, you called my phone.” Why do people call you then ask that question? I mean, you called
my
fucking phone.

It was quiet for a little while before the voice on the other line spoke. “It’s me, pumpkin, Grey.”

Ooooooooh
. “Hey, baby,” I said with a huge smile on my face. Damn, I wished he were here to experience this with me. “I wish you could be here. We’re at a foam slash pool party.”

“Are you drunk?” he asked, bluntly.

Someone was walking around with a tray full of what looked like jell-o shots. Taking my finger away from my ear, I grabbed a shot and downed it. Yummy strawberry flavor. The burn went to the back of my throat and made me cough a little. “I miss you, Grey. I want you here.”

“You didn’t answer my question?” he pushed. I couldn’t help but laugh down the phone. “What’s so funny?”

I didn’t bother to filter what I was about to say. I was drunk and annoyed. “My fucking goodness, Grey, you just couldn’t wish me a good time. Or tell me you wish you were here? Is that too fucking hard to say? Instead you have to give me the whole thousand questions bullshit.”

Wow. That felt incredible…until he spoke. “Yeah well, my fucking girlfriend is drunk with a bunch of guys around her, and one of them just happens to be her best friend who is dying to fuck her. And I’m not close by to her to keep her from making a fucking stupid mistake.” I heard him breathing hard.

“You know what? I was having a great time. I wish you were fucking here with me instead of by myself. Why couldn’t you just say you missed me? Why do you feel like I am going to make a mistake? I have never given you any reason to think something like that.” Everything around me was getting blurry.

He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry, Becca. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just the stress from work is getting to me. I do wish I was there with you, sweetie pie.” Now he was trying the soft talk. Too late for that shit.

Wiping the tear that stained my face, I told him I had to go and before he could say anything I hung up the phone. The tray passed me again and instead of just taking one I took two. Apple and grape this time.

One minute I was on the phone with my back to the crowd, the next minute I turned around and everyone had glow sticks. My vision must be playing with me because the slow motion of the glow sticks was mesmerizing as the swaying and swirling tried to keep up with the glow stick itself. I grabbed a few from passersby, trying not to drop them through the bubbles and made my way outside. Almost all the lights were off, leaving just a couple of dimmed ones and people with glow sticks, even in the pool. The beautiful neon colors of green, blue, yellow, and pink were everywhere. And the smell of the ocean was intoxicating as it brushed past my face.
 

As I walked closer to the pool I saw Richard and Emma. They had glow necklaces on and were kissing, well, more like dry humping, in the corner. How was it that they barely saw each other and yet they were closer then anyone I knew who had been together for a while? Peeling my eyes away from them, I saw bodies dancing against each other on the opposite side of the pool. With the colors in my hands and the foam around my waist I joined in. Men and women were wet from getting out of the pool, dripping water from there hair onto my body. I didn’t care. I had a bathing suit on and that’s what it was for.

As the music pumped with a hard beat I kept dancing until I was wet with sweat. Or was it water? Swirling the glow sticks around, I soon forgot about the fight I’d had with Grey. He wasn’t going to ruin my night. All of a sudden, someone put their hands around my waist, from the grip and roughness I knew it was a guy. But since we were just dancing I didn’t bother to tell him to stop. He wasn’t crossing any of my invisible lines but I had to back into him because more people were joining our crowd. I lifted my arms and glow sticks up and he did the same with one hand still holding onto my waist. The music kept going along with the liquor in my system, and I wasn’t going to stop.

The hands that were on me weren’t there anymore. It took me a moment to realize that James was in the middle of the stranger and me. He literally shoved the guy away, knocking him to the floor like he was doing something bad. I couldn’t move I was so shocked. I felt like I should do something or this poor guy was going to get the shit beaten out of him for no reason. That was when my legs moved toward James.

I stepped right into his line of sight. “What are you doing?” I said, blinking a few times, then I turned around to see how the guy on the floor was doing.

“Chill out, James. We were just dancing,” The guy tried explaining himself as he slowly made his way up.

I couldn’t believe James. “You don’t need to apologize,” I said to the guy who was halfway up now. “I’m really sorry about this.” How fucking embarrassing!

Apparently it seemed as though James had had a little too much to drink too. “James?” I said. His head snapped from the guy to me. His jaw was tense, and he was breathing through his nose. I swore he looked like a raging bull ready to strike anyone wearing red.

“Come on,” I offered, opening the palm of my hand so James could take it. I thought he needed to cool off.

Without thinking, James took my hand. “I’m sorry again,” I said to the guy who I was dancing with before I walked toward the pool with James.

As soon as my foot touched the steps to get into the water I wanted to run away, it was freezing. But I held my breath as I went in farther. James seriously needed to cool down, and as he went in, I could practically see steam rising off of him. I swam toward a spot where nobody was. In the middle of the pool they were playing volleyball. Four chicks were propped on top of four guys’ shoulders as they hit the ball back and forth. Grabbing the ledge at the opposite side of where they were playing, I looked at James. He was trying to avoid eye contact.

I got closer to him, still holding the edge, and asked, “Hey, are you okay?”

He finally looked my way. His look was strangely one of hunger as he made his way closer to me. I didn’t know if it was just the liquor that was still in my system but I wanted whatever he was thinking about doing. He pressed my back against the cool granite of the pool. Under the water, his hands were around my waist, pulling me closer. He was looking at every inch of my face like he was in pain or he was thinking really hard about something.

Breathe, Becca
.

I felt my chest constrict as his chest pressed flat against mine. This was very intimate for the both of us. It seemed like whenever we were around each other lately his hands were on me and I didn’t mind. We seriously needed to lay off of the drinking though.

james

As I held her close I could feel the quick heartbeats from her chest against mine. She was nervous. I didn’t know what went through my mind when I saw that guy she was dancing with, but I saw red. His hands were all over her. Maybe I was defending Grey’s territory, but what was I doing right now? I wasn’t drunk. I haven’t had anything to drink since we’d left the apartment. But Becca was wasted.

What was I doing?
I kept asking myself that question as I held her tighter. She gripped my biceps, letting go of the side of the pool. I was the only thing that was keeping her afloat. If I were to let her go she would go down; she didn’t know how to swim.

I pressed my forehead against hers, feeling our breaths mingling together. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me.”

She let out a nervous chuckle. “It’s okay. He wasn’t doing anything. We were just dancing.” She was adorable trying to defend him.
Him
was Todd. He was a guy I always saw around these parties and always with a different chick.

I inched my face closer until our noses were touching. Her breathing picked up. Should I just go for it? Did she want me to? It wasn’t like she was backing up or anything. I wanted to kiss her but I didn’t understand why I was feeling this way. My emotions were all over the place. Her lips were calling me and I couldn’t shake this weird feeling in my stomach. We’d always been friends, but lately it seemed more than that, even though we hadn’t been communicating much these days. It seemed like the text and calls kept my feelings at a distant, but whenever we were around each other my feelings were brought to the surface. The Fourth of July party and now were good examples. But what would it have meant for our friendship if I kissed her? I didn’t want to lose her. I couldn’t lose her.