His Love (21 page)

G
avin woke slowly.
Hazy morning sunlight poured in through Toni’s window, golden and promising.

He turned his head to look at her sleeping beside him, her wild curls everywhere. Brushing them back from her face with a tender caress, he stared at her, his eyes leisurely taking in her features in a close-up study. The fan of her long, dark lashes, the arch of her brow, the feel of her smooth, tanned skin. Kissed by the summer sun, her Italian DNA had taken over and naturally bronzed her. She was so bloody beautiful it made his heart give a little pang every time he looked at her.

His fingertips traced over her high cheekbones, the luscious bow of her lips. She stirred and cuddled closer to him, seeking him in her sleep. The softness of her full breasts pressed against his side, and the lush warmth of her curvy body felt like home.

Christ, he loved her so much. He didn’t want to leave her, to be so far away, to not see her or be with her… surely there had to be a way, something they could do…

Overwhelmed with a rush of emotion, he wrapped her in his arms and cradled her tight. They needed to sort this out.

They hadn’t talked last night after all; she’d jumped him as soon as they got to her bedroom, and even though he knew she was in part trying to distract him, he’d been all too happy to comply. They’d both fallen asleep soon after. Since she wasn’t going to work, he’d stayed in her room. And waking up with her next to him, warm and soft and sweet in his arms… he adored it. He wished he could do it every day.

Leaning in, he tenderly dropped a kiss on her lips, then started nuzzling her neck, kissing and nipping at her skin as his hands slid lower. A low purr of satisfaction came from her and she opened her eyes, smiling. Her fingers ran through his hair. “Good morning,” she murmured, her voice still husky from sleep.

“Good morning,” he echoed, nibbling his way up the side of her neck, along her jaw, until his lips sealed to hers.

“Stop! Wait, I need to brush my teeth,” she said, shoving him back with slight embarrassment.

“No ya don’t. I don’t care,” he said, going in for another kiss.

They lay in each other’s arms, kissing and caressing, until the passion sparked as it always seemed to if they touched for more than twenty seconds. But this time, there was no frantic rush, no carnal need. They took it slowly, a deliciously sumptuous exploration of each other. Their embrace went from languid kisses and slow caresses; to more insistent movements, building with need; until they were burning with heat, their desires igniting into passionate urgency. Gavin reached to the night stand for the strip of condoms they’d left out last night and tore at the foil. Toni kissed his chest, her hands roaming over his smooth, toned body as he got it on, then positioned himself between her thighs. Both his hands smoothed her hair back from her face and her eyes slipped closed as he teased her, grinding along her wetness but not entering her yet.

“You’re torturing me,” she whimpered. Her legs wrapped around him as she arched up her hips to grind against him, needing the delicious friction, the pressure, the feel of every inch of his body along hers.

But he stopped moving. “Toni,” he whispered. “Look at me, love.”

Her eyes opened and her breath caught at the intensity in his stare, at his husky erotic command. When their eyes locked, he pushed into her slowly, going deep. She sighed as a long, delicious shudder skittered over her whole body. Never breaking eye contact, he softly kissed her lips, then started to move inside her. He held her face as their hips rocked together in a primal rhythm, as his eyes bore into hers, as their heavy breathing turned to heavier panting and their limbs intertwined. “Keep your eyes on mine,” he commanded in a whisper. “Let me look at you.”

*

This was
different
. Toni saw it in his face, felt it crackling in the air around them. The tenderness and intensity were almost too much to take. This wasn’t one of their typical fun romps, or mindless, wild jungle sex… he was making love to her, in every sense of the term. It stunned her, resonating deep within her core. His kisses, his caresses, the way he looked into her eyes… no man had ever looked at her with such open affection, such adoration. And she adored him, too. She loved him, God help her, she was so completely in love with him.

His gaze locked on hers, they moved as one… she’d never felt a connection like this in her life. She couldn’t explain it, couldn’t put it into words, but she
felt
it, and it was astonishing. Her heart thumped wildly as that realization hooked its claws into her.

A sheen of sweat covered them as they took their time, luxuriating in the feel of one another, savoring every sensation. When he drove faster, harder, she arched to meet him with every thrust, working together to bring release. Her orgasm hit hard and she cried out, clinging to him, head thrown back in mindless ecstasy. He followed her over the brink, burying his face in her neck with a long, low groan as his body tensed, holding her so tight and so close she almost couldn’t breathe.

He collapsed on top of her, both of them gasping and panting and wrapped around each other. After a minute, he lifted his head, looked into her eyes, and said, “I love you, Toni.” He swept stray curls back from her sweaty forehead. “I love you.”

She stared back at him, her heart expanding in her chest. Before she knew it, she was whispering back, “I love you, too. I’m not just saying it back because you said it. I really do love you, Gavin.”

He smiled, electric blue eyes alight, and kissed her firmly. “I never expected this. This is amazing,” he murmured in a daze.

“It is. But it’s also awful,” she whispered. “You’re leaving in five days.” She shook her head and her eyes got glassy. “What are we going to do?”

‡

G
avin stared back
into her eyes, watching her features change and fill with melancholy. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve been mulling that over myself.”

“You have?”

“Aye. For days, now. Because the thought of not being with you…” The muscles in his jaw tightened. He kissed her again. “I didn’t expect to find you, Toni. But now that I have, and we feel so right together… I can’t just let ya go. I don’t want to.”

He couldn’t read her. She looked scared and sad and happy and moved, all at the same time. So many emotions flickered through those hazel eyes, he couldn’t keep up. But she didn’t say anything. He had no idea what to make of that. Was she even breathing? She was still wrapped around him, beneath him, but she was still as stone.

Realizing he was still inside her, he withdrew slowly and rolled out of bed. He reached for the tissues, his back to her. “Tell ya what,” he said over his shoulder. “Why don’t we shower, have some breakfast. Go down to the deck, or the beach. Just hang out for a while. And we’ll talk. But for real this time. No distractions.”

“That sounds good,” she said. “You go first, you take a faster shower than me.”

He turned back to her, leaned down to tip up her chin, and sealed a long kiss to her lips. “Meet ya downstairs. I’ll make coffee.”

He grabbed his shorts and pulled them back on, then picked up the rest of his clothes and left the room. He hoped he’d played it right; being casual, yet still insisting they talk about what had just happened. Because if there were ever a picture perfect example for the word “unsure”, it had just been Toni Westmore’s wide-eyed face.

*

By the time
Toni walked into the kitchen, the coffee was made, bagels were toasted, and Gavin was pushing scrambled eggs from a pan onto their plates.

“Oh, my God,” she smiled, going to him. “You’re a doctor, an incredible lover, and you cook, too? You can’t be real. You’re a fairy tale, right?”

“I’m a man of many talents,” he grinned back. He put the empty pan back on the stove, then took her into his arms, locking his fingers at the small of her back as he leaned down for a kiss. “But I assure you I’m no fairy tale. I’m very real. With many flaws, like anyone else.”

“Still. Men as good as you aren’t supposed to exist,” she murmured. “I haven’t been with any, until you.”

“I’m far from perfect, Toni.”

“I didn’t say perfect. I said good. Genuinely good. Which you are. Perfect doesn’t exist. Besides…” She sighed and lifted her hands to his face. The gold morning stubble on his jaw felt deliciously masculine beneath her fingers. “If you were perfect, you wouldn’t be leaving.”

“Ah. True.” His forehead rested against hers. “I wish I didn’t have to yet.”

“Me too,” she whispered. “And so soon. I want—
need
—more time with you.”

“I feel the same. I wish… Christ, I wish a lot of things.” He pressed a kiss to her mouth and gestured to the table. “Sit, eat while it’s still warm.”

Both ravenously hungry, they almost cleared their plates before sitting back to sip their coffee and launch into a discussion.

“There’s phone calls, email, texting, and Skype,” he began. “That’s a lot, all good. The everyday contact. But also, you’ll visit me when you can, and I’ll come visit you. Every three months, perhaps? We can take turns, though I’ll likely come here more often since Sean and Anna are here, too. But Toni…” He reached for her hands. “This can’t just be over when I leave on Sunday night. This can’t be the end of us. We just found each other.”

She gaped at him as her heart thudded. “I feel the same way.”

“Good.” He intertwined their fingers while holding her gaze. “I want you in my life. So let’s figure this out, together. You want that too, right?”

“I do. And I love everything you’re saying,” she said. “But… how realistic is it? I mean, right now we’re together, so it seems like anything’s possible. But long distance relationships… especially an across the ocean kind of long distance… they rarely work.”

He frowned. “I know. But if we want to make it work, we make it work.”

“That’s very romantic. But I just…” Her face flushed and her eyes flickered away. “You’ll get tired of it after a while, won’t you? It’ll start out great, but you’ll get tired of the distance, the extra work, and slowly slip away. And I don’t think I could take that.”

His mouth set in a thin line as he stared at her. He squeezed her hands, willing her to look at him. “Do ya think that little of me?”

“No!” she said. “I’m just trying to be realistic.”

“No, you’re speculating. I won’t slip away from you. Hell, I can’t get enough of you. I told you from the beginning, I’m a sure bet, remember?” She grinned at their inside joke, and he grinned back with a moment of relief. “Toni, I think you’re scared witless. So you’re already looking for a reason for it not to work. I get that.” His thumbs rubbed the back of her hands, trying to soothe. “But if this has a shot at bein’ anything, you have to trust me more. I trust you, Toni. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be suggesting all these ways to make this work. If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t love you. And I do love you.”

Her eyes welled up. “God, you take my breath away.” She sniffed hard, willing back the threatening tears. “You’re saying all the right things. I want so much to believe this could work out somehow—”