His Unbearable Desire 2 (2 page)

“I won’t!” Ana said brightly as she ended the call.

She flipped the sign on the door and then went to the back room to touch up her makeup and make sure that her hair looked decent. She primped her clothes and when she looked acceptable she headed out.

The park was a short stroll nearby and the day was pleasant. Her hair flowed along with the mild breeze that drifted through the air. After working in Newtown for a while she was getting used to how different it was from Trinity Falls. There you could easily wander along the middle of the road and not be in any real danger from passing cars, but here the traffic was relentless. Trinity Falls was also a quiet place but Newtown was loud.

It had taken her a while to get used to the multitude of new noises that surrounded her but slowly they faded into the background and just provided a layer of noise. What really struck her was the sheer energy of the city. Wherever she looked there was something new and exciting going on, and there was so much to discover.

Since she was only working there she hadn’t had much of a chance to explore but she was eager to try out many of the restaurants and bars. She was sure that Angelica was getting annoyed with her insistent pleas to take the plunge and leave Trinity Falls, but her friend was adamant that her parents still needed more time. Ana thought that maybe it wasn’t her parents that needed the time, but she hadn’t mentioned that to Angelica yet because she had had her own problems to deal with.

There were so many people that it was a city of possibilities and she was eager to explore them all. When she had first opened up the shop she had been wary of Glenn, and the fact that she knew where he lived. Aside from a few early temptations she was pleased to say that she had not been crazy and gone to knock on his door, even though she did miss the set of underwear she had left there. Still, there was no way she ever wanted to go back or see Glenn’s face again, even though it would have been nice to wipe the smug satisfaction off his face.

As she approached the park her pace slowed because what Angelica had said played on her mind. Could she trust herself not to get into a foolish situation again? Colton was irresistible, and she had to make sure that she was doing this for the right reasons. She went over her plan again and examined her feelings.

Things had changed since the wedding. Back then she had been heady with desire and filled with romantic notions. Glenn had plied her with wine and romantic thoughts, and talk of the moon and a great change coming up but she now saw how transparent those two things were. She felt more grounded and she had her business and the move to focus on.

Anything romantic was not a priority, but there was something about Colton that intrigued her and she wanted to explore that more. She made a vow to herself though that she wasn’t going to be swayed by his charm and that nothing sexual was going to happen. It was purely for her curiosity’s sake that she was doing this because she couldn’t forget how Colton had treated her at Glenn’s. When he saw her it was like he owned her and he expected her to act a certain way but Ana wasn’t going to be treated like someone’s pet. She had her own mind and was going to do whatever she saw fit.

When she entered the park she looked around for Colton, although she didn’t see him immediately. As impressive as Glenn’s private park had been it held nothing compared to this. The wide green fields were peppered with trees and fountains, and there was so much space for people to walk and cycle along.

The sweet smell of freshly cut grass and blooming flowers greeted her nose and as she walked through she could feel the essence of summer. Children laughed and played with their families in the background, and a Frisbee flew through the air. In the distance some boys were tossing a football, and various red-faced people were jogging along the path.

Ana took a stroll and kept an eye out for Glenn, trying to figure out where he was going to be waiting for her. In the middle of the park stood a wide lake and she made her way towards that, but she also knew that he hated people. She had only strolled around this park a few times (it made a nice place to come when she had a lunch break) so she wracked her brains in trying to think of possible areas.

A few rowing boats were out on the water and she could see couples enjoying the lazy sunshine. It made her think about the erotic experience she had enjoyed with Colton, when he had slipped his fingers inside her and made her emotions dance.

She turned away from the lake and headed in another direction. There was a part of the park that was shaded by trees and she knew that after the storm people would have wanted to enjoy the good weather, so she ventured into the shaded part.

Between the trees were wide areas where hedges broke the park into sections, offering private areas for people who wanted a bit more structure than the open field. It was in one of these spots that she finally found Colton, who was sitting hunched over on a bench, holding his head in his hands. He looked troubled, and for a few moments she watched him, surrounded by a dark cloud.

She tilted her head and wondered if this had truly been a good idea for she didn’t want to get mixed up in anything too bad, but by this point it was too late. She stepped forward and Colton was alerted to her presence. He turned around and she saw that his eyes were red and raw, and the pain he was feeling was apparent within them.

Chapter 2

“For a moment I wasn’t sure you were going to come,” he said.

There was something about the way he carried himself that was different than at the wedding. There he had seemed so rough and ready, so filled with hostility and rage, as if at any moment he was going to boil over. Yet now he seemed preoccupied, almost defeated, although she would never have told him that because she could tell how much his pride meant to him. Part of her wondered if it was because he had caught her with Glenn, but she didn’t want to start being so egotistical as to think that everything in his life revolved around her. But the timelines matched up.

“I just had to find you. It’s a big park.”

“Still hard to get away from people,” he said.

“That’s how I knew you’d be here.”

She stepped further into the small alcove and took a seat on the bench next to him. It overlooked a little pool of water, and as she looked down she saw a couple of small fish swimming aimlessly. How simple life was for them, she thought, but then she followed it by thinking that in a way she was just swimming through the current as well. Colton smirked and gave a dark chuckle.

“You know me so well,” he said wryly.

“I probably know you better than you think I do,” she said confidently, looking directly at him.

For once she didn’t feel intimidated by him. He ran a hand through his hair and pursed his lips as he let the dark locks fall down over his face again. He sighed and leaned back, stretching out his long legs until they almost reached the pool of water. Ana shifted her body, turning towards him, and rested her arm on the back of the bench.

“Go on then, what’s your opinion of me?” he asked, flashing his eyes to her. She wore a thoughtful look as she tried to think how best to answer the question.

“I think something happened to you a long time ago that made you hate people, or maybe you’re afraid of being around them, so you insulate yourself by having this image of a loner. I did overhear your argument with Glenn and as much as I hate agreeing with him I do wonder why you stick around if you hate things so much. Maybe I’m wrong but I think you’re searching for something and you don’t know what it is, and maybe you think you’re the only one but I can assure you you’re not. We all go through that at one time or another. Am I close?”

There was a long silence as Colton processed her words and for a moment Ana thought that she had said something completely inappropriate. But then he took a deep breath and replied.

“What happened at the wedding that was…it was more intense than I thought it would be. Usually when I do that with girls it doesn’t matter much to me. It’s just…it’s something to do and I’m not proud of that but it’s the way I’ve always been. I don’t…I can’t get too close to anyone but with you it’s different. That’s why I ran. I know I shouldn’t have. I know it was wrong but I just don’t think I have the capability to be close to anyone.”

Ana’s heart went out to him and she found herself running her hand over his back, stroking it lightly.

“You seem to be doing okay now.”

“I had to. When I saw you with Glenn I felt sick. He doesn’t deserve you. He never did. And I hated that you had gone with him.”

“If you had stayed at the wedding…” she said.

“I know my mistakes,” he said grimly. “I just can’t stop thinking about you and I want you to know that. Maybe it’s too late but I had to see you and try and explain things.”

This outpouring of emotion was rather unexpected and Ana wasn’t quite sure how to take it. It was funny; a few weeks ago had Colton come to her with this she would have been elated and would have leapt in his arms immediately but now things had changed. She was flattered of course, but it would take more than mere words to win her heart again, especially after she had been fooled once by his cousin.

“I appreciate you telling me this, but I need more. After what’s happened I can’t just go back to the way things were.”

“What do you want to know?” he said, turning to look at her, “What can I tell you that will make you believe me?”

“I don’t know, what do you want to tell me? If this was a therapy session I’d suggest you start with your childhood,” she joked. But by the look on his face she could see that he was considering it.

“I guess it’s as good a place as any to start,” he said shrugging. “I was always the outcast of the family. Glenn was the perfect child, the eldest, and he had a couple of brothers and a sister. I was an only child so I spent a lot of time with them but they never failed to remind me that I wasn’t truly their kin.

My parents were lower on the social ladder as well, and Glenn never made it a secret that his parents were in charge of mine. I felt so alone and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I tried to tell my parents but they just dismissed it and said that it was part of growing up. I was the runt of the litter and it always felt like I was getting picked on. It only got worse as I grew older.

Glenn always made me feel small, no matter what I did. I wanted to leave so many times but on their deathbed my parents made me promise to keep an eye on the company. I don’t want any part of it. As far as I’m concerned Glenn can keep all the money but for my parent’s sake I try to make sure he’s not running it into the ground.

As soon as I was able I built a log cabin in the woods so I could be alone. That way I didn’t have to be around anyone or see anyone, but Glenn kept pulling me back. He told me I had responsibilities and duties. I hated them but I did them anyway, thinking about my parents. He also threatened to take me out of the will if I didn’t do my part, and in doing so he would tarnish my parent’s legacy. I couldn’t stand for that so I’ve stuck around but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“But why is Glenn like that? Why does he treat you that way? I don’t understand why he appears so charming and then he just turns around and is completely different.”

“Because he likes having a certain image ready for people. He wants to keep the company going, and I understand that, but he always puts forward his own agenda. He was always blessed with a silver tongue and he can usually get what he wants. He’s not like me. I stumble over my words, can never think of the right thing to say but he can just turn it on. And yet he makes me come to the parties and makes me talk to people even though he knows it makes me uncomfortable.”

“But if you hate each other so much why did you come into his house when I was there? What was that talk of running together? Why were you so mad at me?”

There were so many questions that they came out in a torrent, although she hadn’t meant them too. Colton had to take a moment to process them all and that was a good thing because Ana needed a little time too. She thought about Colton and Glenn and how the two of them had spoken about each other. Glenn was a proven liar but did that mean she could take Colton at his word? He certainly appeared to be sincere but she had to remain on her guard.

“I…I can’t tell you everything. I’m sorry. And I don’t know why he does everything he does. All I know is that there are certain things he can talk about and certain things he can’t.”

“So you know what his secrets are?”

“We all have secrets,” he said. The words lingered for a moment and then he shook himself, as if he was trying to be rid of the cobwebs in his mind.

“Look, why don’t we go back to my cabin for a few days? We can escape the world and spend some time together. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

“Why can’t you tell me now? I told you if you were going to be all mysterious that this wasn’t going to work. I don’t like being lied to and if you can’t be honest with me then nothing is going to happen.”

Ana’s voice was frayed with tension and it was evident that she had been hurt quite a bit by the actions of these two men. Colton leaned forward and down, placing his hand in the cold water. Ana watched as the fish swam around his fingers. He swirled the water, and then brought his hand out. The water trickled and dripped down his fingers, splashing back down to the ground.

“I’m not lying to you,” he said, his voice strained, “but I’m a very private person and it’s not easy for me to open up.”

“Glenn said the same thing,” Ana replied bitterly, and she was about ready to walk away. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry for whatever has happened to you but I don’t think I’m the woman you think I am. I’m not here to save you. I have my own needs as well and at the moment you’re not meeting them, you’re just hurting me. I don’t get what the big deal is with you two and I don’t have the energy to put myself through this. I’m done Colton. Goodbye.”

She got up without hesitation and went to leave the small alcove. She walked slowly, and when she heard Colton tell her to wait a sly smile crossed her lips. Her plan was working perfectly. She stopped in her tracks. Colton came up behind her and placed his hands around her shoulders. She closed her eyes and let herself enjoy his lingering touch. She turned her head down and back, letting him see the corner of her eye. His hands squeezed her and she could feel the passion simmering in his body, knowing that it could explode at any moment.

“What?” she asked softly.

Colton seemed to be struggling with something and she knew that this was the moment that would define the near future. If he was still adamant that he wouldn’t tell her anything then she knew that there was nothing there for her. But if her threat to leave frightened him into opening up then it meant there may have been a shred of truth to what he was saying, and it would give Ana the impetus to continue seeing him.

“Please don’t go,” he said, and she never thought that she would hear those words from his mouth.

“Give me a reason to stay.” Ana turned around and she witnessed the anguish on Colton’s face as he wrestled with his inner demons. He looked down at Ana, who reached out and grabbed his hand. It was still wet from when he had submerged it in the small pool, and now the cold water spread over her hand.

“You can trust me. You can tell me anything,” she said, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

“There are things in this world…things about me and Glenn that are hard to explain. I can’t tell right now…not here,” he said, looking around, “But I want to show you. I want to prove to you that I mean what I say. I’m not Glenn,” he said, his face darkening as he mentioned his cousin, “it’ll be easier if I show you.

A lot of pain has happened in my life and it’s difficult for me to talk about but I haven’t ever wanted to talk about it before, and I almost hate that we met because you’ve changed my whole way of thinking. You actually…you make me care,” and as he said this he brought his hand up and brushed aside some of her long, dark hair.

She smiled as his skin brushed against her soft cheek, and she almost melted as she looked into his eyes. There was no denying the bristling attraction between them, but now it was becoming even deadlier because the hard-edged, raw passion was being accompanied by gentle and tender romance, and it was taking all of her willpower to resist.

Part of her longed to see his log cabin, to see his private sanctuary. She knew that barely anyone would have seen it before and she would feel honored about being let into the private building. After spending the weekend with Glenn she wasn’t about to make the same mistake again, and if Colton was true to his word then she was going to make him work for it.

“I can’t come to your cabin, I’m sorry,” she said, and she watched his face look crestfallen. His hand left her face and she felt disappointed as his warmth left her, only to be replaced by the harsh loneliness of the empty air.

“But look,” she continued, and his eyes flickered up, “there’s a fair in Trinity Falls at the moment. Why don’t you come back and we can spend some time together?”

A wide smile broke out on Colton’s lips as he readily agreed. Ana nodded and they arranged where and at what time to meet.

“You know, you should smile more,” she said before departing, “it looks good,” and with that she turned and left Colton standing there.

The hour had gone quickly and she was reluctant to leave him but she had to get back to the shop. At least she felt in control now and she wanted to believe that Colton was telling her the truth. Yet since Glenn had lied to her she wasn’t sure how she could believe what anyone said. So there was still a small part of her that doubted and made her wonder whether any of this was real or if it was just some sort of sick game.