Hold on to your Dreams (14 page)

‘Two young people to see you, sir.’

Biting back a curse, Alex glared at his butler. The last thing he wanted tonight was visitors.

‘Millie and Fred, sir.’ Seeing the scowl on his master’s face, he asked, ‘Shall I tell them you’re not at home?’

‘No, of course not.’ Perhaps it was for the best. The lively youngsters would certainly keep him from brooding. ‘Send them in.’

‘And shall I ask Cook for refreshments?’

The butler’s dry tone of voice made him smile, lifting the unhappiness he was feeling. They only had to appear and Cook wanted to feed them. ‘Better make it a large selection.’

‘Of course, sir.’

As soon as Hunt left the room, Fred and Millie tumbled in, beaming with excitement.

‘We’ve seen May, and the doc says the operation went well and there’s a good chance she’ll be able to walk properly.’ Millie couldn’t stop smiling.

Alex was surprised. ‘I didn’t think the operation was for a few days yet. I had intended to be there.’

‘The doc did it today,’ Fred told him. ‘He said it wasn’t as bad as he’d first thought, so he did it straight away. She didn’t have time to think about it so she wasn’t too frightened. And the chair you ordered will be ready in a couple of days. Mr Melrose is hurrying it along.’

‘That is good news.’ He was delighted. ‘Sit down and tell me how she is.’

‘A bit dopey, you know, but she smiled when we told her she was gonna walk like everyone else soon. We can’t get Johnny away from her side. Loves that little girl, he does. They don’t usually let children in the wards, but they said he could stay with her for a while.’ Millie sat on the satin chair without giving it a second glance this time.

‘And her mum cried,’ Fred said. ‘Her dad was close to tears as well when the doc spoke to him. Real happy they was with what he told them.’

Millie nodded. ‘They said there’s no way in this world they could ever thank you enough.’

‘Knowing she’s going to be able to walk properly again is thanks enough.’ Alex smiled. ‘Are you hungry?’

‘We’re always hungry,’ the girl laughed. ‘You know that.’

‘So I do.’ The door opened and the maid wheeled in a trolley laden with food.

Daisy smiled with pleasure when she saw Millie was wearing the frock she’d given her.

‘Did you get your new frocks from him?’ Millie looked pointedly at Alex.

‘Yes, two as promised.’

‘Good.’ She gave a satisfied nod.

‘Thank you, Daisy.’ Alex struggled to keep a grin at bay. ‘We’ll serve ourselves.’

‘Very well, sir.’ The maid smiled again at the two youngsters as she left.

‘Oh, I nearly forgot.’ Fred fished in his pocket and handed Alex a sheet of paper. ‘Johnny said you was to have this. It shows what was spent. And when are you coming to see him again?’

‘Tell him I’ll be along some time tomorrow.’

‘Right. He was at the hospital with May’s mum and dad. Gets worried about her, he does, and took her a bag of fruit. It’s all down on the paper, he said to tell you.’

The butler slipped in quietly. ‘Mr Gardener to see you, sir.’

‘Show him in, Hunt.’ Alex noted the rapidly depleting trolley. ‘And ask Cook for more tea and food.’

‘Yes, sir.’ Hunt’s mouth twitched. ‘Cook asked if the young people would like a basket of food – each – to take home? With your permission, of course, sir.’

‘I’m sure they would.’ Alex looked at the youngsters, who were nodding vigorously. ‘Thank Cook for us, Hunt.’

‘Of course, sir.’

‘Oh, and have the carriage made ready to take Fred and Millie home.’

‘You don’t need to do that. We can go on the bus, can’t we, Millie? We got enough for our fare now we’re working.’

‘No, it’s bitterly cold. You keep your money for something else.’

‘Thanks.’ Millie helped herself to the last sandwich. ‘We give most of what we earn to our mums, but we’re saving up, as well.’

‘Hello, Mr Gardener,’ Fred said as David walked into the room. ‘We’ve been to see May. She’s gonna be all right.’

David looked surprised as he shook hands with Alex.

‘They operated today,’ Alex explained. ‘The doctor made a quick decision to do it right away. It went well evidently, and he’s hopeful for the little girl.’

‘That is good news!’

Daisy returned, carrying two baskets of food. She put them down near Fred and Millie. ‘Fresh tea is on its way, sir.’

The butler was right behind her. ‘The carriage is ready, sir.’

Alex stood up. ‘Thank you for coming to let me know about May.’

‘The doc asked us to let you know. He couldn’t come himself ’cos he’s ever so busy.’ Fred nudged Millie. ‘Time we went. Sir and Mr Gardener got business to do.’

‘Thanks for the grub.’ Millie eyed the basket. ‘It’s good of you, but you don’t have to give us so much now we’ve got jobs.’

‘Cook would be very upset if you didn’t want her food. It gives her pleasure to know you enjoy her cooking.’

‘Ah …well, we wouldn’t want to upset her. Would we, Fred?’

‘No fear. Best food we’ve ever tasted, and we share it out.’ Fred turned to David, his expression worried. ‘You seen Miss? Is she all right? How’s her mum?’

‘Her mother’s still very ill. This is an unhappy time for her and her father.’

‘’T’aint right!’ Millie declared. ‘She ain’t done nothing to deserve this. That brother of hers ought to be ashamed of himself. You tell her to send for us if there’s anything we can do. She’s so kind. You looking out for her, Mr Gardener?’

‘We both are.’ David nodded in Alex’s direction.

‘That’s good.’ Fred scowled. ‘She needs friends at a time like this. We’ll do anything for her. She’s only got to say. Ain’t that right, Millie?’

The girl nodded. ‘That’s right. ’Cos we’re her friends too.’

Hunt appeared in the doorway. ‘The horse is getting cold, sir.’

After saying a hasty goodbye, they watched the youngsters climb into the carriage and disappear up the road.

‘I’ll go and see May tomorrow.’ David took a cup of tea from Alex and sat down. ‘Where is she?’

‘Whitechapel.’ Alex let out a deep sigh.

‘You all right?’ David asked, concerned by Alex’s drawn and tired appearance.

‘I made a mess of my meeting with your friend. She took offence at something I suggested, and that was the last thing I wanted to do.’

David knew he was talking about Gertie. It was all too obvious. ‘Wasn’t she relieved to know her brother was all right?’

‘She was pleased to have the note to show her mother.’ Alex stood up, resting his hand on the mantelpiece and staring into the dancing flames. ‘She looks near the end of her strength, and when I suggested a way to ease their problems, she asked her aunt to throw me out.’

‘Oh, Gertie!’ David muttered under his breath. ‘She’s too proud, and reacts badly to any hint of charity.’

Alex’s laugh was devoid of humour. ‘The price was too high for her.’

When Alex said no more, David didn’t probe further. What this was all about was between the two of them. ‘And did Hanna throw you out?’

‘No, she made her niece face me so I could apologise.’

‘You had to apologise for offering to help?’ David could picture the scene. A furious Gertie, and Hanna laying down the law. No man would stand a chance between the two of them, and they would test anyone’s patience.

Sitting down again, Alex grimaced. ‘The situation was ridiculous. You may laugh. I know you’re finding it difficult to keep a straight face.’

That was all David needed, and he began to shake with laughter. ‘I’m sorry, but I know those two, and if the pair of them set about me, I’d run like hell! I’ve known Gertie nearly all my life and love her dearly, but she is difficult to handle at times. I could never understand her stubborn streak because she has such a caring nature, and would help anyone in trouble.’

Alex nodded, amused now. ‘She didn’t even let me finish what I was saying.’

‘She often admits to being unreasonable at times, and once she’s formed a firm opinion it’s hard to make her change her mind.’ He was serious again. ‘Don’t be too hard with your judgement of her. She’s half out of her mind with worry for her family, and I expect that’s why she reacted so badly.’

‘I dare say you’re right. She’s in dire trouble and has her pride. I can’t blame her for that, but I now feel I’ve done as much as I can for her. As you are aware, I did at one time harbour a hope that we would become better acquainted. Regardless of her faults – and we all have those – I liked her the moment I set eyes on her. She has a pleasing personality and a lively intelligence, and I felt she would make an ideal wife for me.’ Alex frowned. ‘I would soon become bored with a docile wife.’

‘She might yet come to care for you,’ David suggested, trying to give comfort.

‘Not after today. I’ve been defeated and I’m battle weary. I have a lovely house in the heart of Hampshire and I’m thinking of going there for a while.’ He sighed deeply, rubbing his forehead. ‘It’s full of memories and that’s why I haven’t visited it since I returned home. It’s time I laid a few ghosts and got on with my life.’

‘What on earth did you do to Alex?’ David asked Gertrude when she came into his office the next day. ‘I’ve never seen him so depressed.’

She looked uncomfortable. ‘He insulted me.’

‘Come on, I don’t believe that. He’s a gentleman through and through.’

‘I don’t want to talk about it. He apologised, and that’s an end to it.’

David sighed deeply. ‘Whatever happened is between you and Alex, but you’ve now lost the best support you could have. He’s done a lot for you, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve seen the last of him.’

‘Don’t you think I know that?’ Her bottom lip trembled. ‘I’m sure he didn’t mean it the way it came out, but I won’t be bought. I feel beaten down enough without being offered money to …’ She shook her head vigorously. ‘Never mind.’

‘He didn’t make an improper offer, did he?’ David’s eyes narrowed as he studied her.

‘No, of course not!’

‘Then what are you talking about? His help so far has been given freely, without thought of reward. Tell me, Gertie. You’ve never kept things from me before.’

‘He offered to give me our house as a wedding present if I married him. I know he wants a wife. I understand his need, but he’s the most eligible man in London, so why on earth did he make an offer like that? He could have any girl he wants.’

‘Except you,’ David said sadly. ‘He told me you didn’t let him finish what he was saying.’

‘What was I supposed to do? Stand there and let him humiliate me?’

‘If you’d had the decency to hear him out I’m sure you would have found that “buying” you was not his intention. I’ve come to know him well lately, and if I’ve read the signs right, Alex is in love with you.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous! He might have shown an interest when he first returned home, but that was ages ago, and now he knows me better I’m sure he’s changed his mind. He needs a docile, obedient wife, not someone who is argumentative and has a mind of her own.’

‘How do you know that’s what he wants?’

‘That’s what every man wants, isn’t it?’

‘Oh, Gertie.’ David was shaking his head in dismay. ‘You don’t know the first thing about men, do you? Think about it. Why would he have bought your house and then let you remain living there? Why would he expose the
men who cheated your brother? And why would he take the time and trouble to trace Edward? He’s been home for more than a year, leaving the army he loved in order to take over the family responsibilities. He needs to have a family around him again. He could have had his pick the moment he came back, but he’s wasted his time on someone who’s made it clear she despises him.’

‘I don’t despise him!’ she declared defensively.

He put his hand under her chin to make her look up at him. ‘I think his feelings for you are more than liking. Turn him down if you must, but at least do it graciously. You’re a bloody fool, Gertie.’

She stepped back, trembling, and grabbed hold of the desk to steady herself. He’d never spoken to her like that before, and it hurt. With hesitant steps, she walked towards the door.

‘Where are you going?’

‘To find a jeweller.’ Her voice was faint.

‘I said I’d sell anything for you. Give it to me.’

She shook her head. ‘You’ve done enough. Everyone’s done enough. It’s time I stopped relying on others and started taking control of myself.’

‘Don’t be stupid. Give me the jewellery.’

Suddenly she spun round, eyes blazing. ‘Stop calling me names, David! I’m lost! Don’t you realise that? My life until now has been comfortable, secure, and surrounded by people who love me. No demands were made on me. As long as I was happy, my parents were content. Now that’s all gone and I’m floundering like a fish out of water. My parents are suffering and I’m helpless, unable to ease
their pain. I’m sorry to have failed you and Mr Glendale. I’m trying to do what’s right, but I can’t think straight. Nothing in my life has prepared me to cope with this terrible crisis, and I’m letting everyone down—’

He watched in horror as silent tears ran down her cheeks. The lovely, happy girl he’d known for so long had disappeared before his eyes. Standing in front of him now was a confused and heartbroken woman. She had been coping well, or so he’d thought, managing to keep a smile on her face, but her mother’s illness was clearly tearing her apart. Her foundations in life had been torn from under her.

‘Oh, don’t do that!’ He stepped forward and held her in his arms. ‘I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said those harsh things to you.’

‘I deserved them,’ she murmured, burying her head in his shoulder. ‘You’re quite right. I’m impossible.’

‘We’ve always known that, haven’t we?’ he teased gently.

She made a sound something like a laugh and a sob combined. Then she looked up, pleading in her eyes. ‘Be patient with me, please. Don’t turn against me. I couldn’t stand that.’

‘I’ll always be here for you. We’re all under strain and must try to understand each other.’

Nodding, she stepped back, wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘I always considered myself to be a strong person, but I now know that isn’t so.’

‘You listen to me. Don’t believe that about yourself because it isn’t true. You’re trying to cope with a living nightmare. I haven’t seen your mother, but it must be
terrible watching her day after day, not knowing if she’s ever going to recover. Many would sink under the strain.’

‘I know I mustn’t, and that frightens me. Father needs me as well.’ She straightened up. ‘I’ll apologise to Mr Glendale if he’ll see me. Do you think he will?’

‘I don’t know. And he told me he was going to the country for a while.’

‘Oh, when?’

‘He didn’t say, but soon, I expect.’ He was relieved to see some colour coming back to her face.

‘Then I mustn’t waste any time.’

‘Are you going to give me the jewellery?’ he asked gently as she made for the door.

‘No, you’ve got enough to do. I’ll deal with it myself.’ Her smile gave a glimpse of the girl she really was. ‘And I won’t let them cheat me!’

‘That’s my girl.’ He didn’t argue, seeing it was important to her. Her confidence had been shaken, and she needed to regain her sense of self-worth.

The office door opened a crack and Millie’s worried face appeared. ‘I’ve made a strong cuppa, Miss. Have one before you go. My mum says it puts a spring back in your step when you’re feeling down.’

‘And she’s quite right.’ He took hold of Gertie’s arm and led her to a chair. ‘You join us as well, Millie. And have we got any of those shortcake biscuits left?’

A rustling sound came from the outer office, then the door opened wide and Millie came in carrying a tray laden with tea and the requested biscuits. There was also a small parcel tucked under her arm.

‘Thanks, Millie.’ Gertrude managed a tight smile. ‘Just what I need.’

After placing the tray on the desk, Millie handed Gertrude the parcel. ‘Me and Fred got you this as a little thank you for all you’ve done for us. Hope you like it.’

‘Oh, you shouldn’t be spending your money on me.’

‘We thought it would cheer you up. And it didn’t cost much.’ She smirked. ‘We beat old Partridge down.’

‘That’s very kind of you.’ She removed the paper wrapping and studied the book in her hands, swallowing hard to keep the tears of gratitude at bay. The fact that Fred and Millie had thought of her in this way was balm to her troubled mind.

‘How lovely!’ she exclaimed. ‘Look, David, a book of poems by all the famous poets.’

‘Ah, you’ll enjoy that.’ He leant across to get a better look.

‘I will.’ She stood up and kissed Millie on the cheek, much to the young girl’s surprise and pleasure. ‘Thank you. I’ll treasure this.’

Millie beamed. ‘We wrote in the front.’

When she opened the book at the front, there in the girl’s beautiful writing were the words, ‘Hold on to your dreams.’

‘Fred told me what to put. He said it was important ’cos in the bad times we must always have something to hold on to – some hope for the future. Might sound daft to you, but that’s how we think.’

‘It isn’t daft, Millie. And I promise to do my best to remember. If I start to forget, all I’ll need to do is read this
lovely book. I’ll pop into the workshop on my way home and thank Fred as well.’

‘That’ll please him.’ She set about pouring the tea. ‘I don’t know nothing about poetry, but Mr Partridge in the shop said it was good and you’d like it.’

‘He knows my taste in literature.’ She gave a wistful smile. ‘I do miss my visits to the shop. I used to spend ages rummaging through the shelves to see what I could find.’

‘You’ll be able to do that again.’ Millie handed around the biscuits. ‘Won’t she, Mr Gardener?’

‘Of course.’ He sat back, happy to let the young girl chat away, relieved to see Gertie’s composure returning.

‘Things change and we can’t do nothing about it, but things have a way of working out. When we look back on the bad times we can often see something good come out of it. We have to look real hard at times, but Mum says there’s always a spark of good there.’

Amusement spread across David’s face. ‘You’re a philosopher, Millie. How did you become so wise?’

‘You’re teasing me again, Mr Gardener. I ain’t wise. I’ve just taken lots of knocks in life, and you have to learn not to let things get you down. Many times I’ve felt like grizzling, but Mum and Fred are the wise ones and they soon puts me right.’ She sat down and leant forward. ‘We sits down with a cuppa and we think of all the things we would like to do. Many of those dreams won’t come true, but that don’t matter. It gives us something to hope for.’

‘Fred told me your big dream was to get out of the slums and live in the country.’ Gertrude was fascinated.
Millie couldn’t be more than sixteen, but she was mature beyond her years.

‘Oh, that one isn’t just a dream, it’s something we’re gonna make come true. Even if it takes us till we’re old and grey. We’re gonna get out of the filth and poverty, and take our families with us.’ She nodded her head, her mouth set in a determined line.

The feeling of inadequacy and fear that she would not be able to cope much longer had eased since she had talked to David and Millie. David had been quite right to point out her failings. That had made her take a good look at herself, and she didn’t like what she’d seen. Her conduct towards Alexander Glendale had been down-right rude from the moment she’d met him.
She
was the one who needed to apologise, and she would do that now. Then she’d call in and thank Fred for his thoughtful gift.

There was fresh purpose in her step, and she blessed her friends for waking her out of the gloomy frame of mind she’d allowed herself to slip into. What good was she going to be to her parents if she continued in that way?

The first jewellers she came to was a smart shop, and she marched in, determined not to be intimidated this time.

Fifteen minutes later she walked out well-satisfied. Not only had he given her what she considered a fair price for her mother’s necklace and small ruby and pearl brooch, but she still had some pieces left for another day. She now had enough to pay the nurses for the next two weeks, but there was also a little she could use on fares. There was a lot she needed to do today, so it would help
to travel by cab, as it would save time. She didn’t like to be away from her mother for any length of time, in case she called for her.

It wasn’t long before she was climbing the steps at Mr Glendale’s home.

‘I’m sorry, Miss Melrose, but Mr Glendale isn’t at home, and I don’t know when to expect him. Perhaps you’d like to leave a message?’

‘No, thank you. I’d rather see him in person.’ This was disappointing because once she’d made up her mind to do something then she liked to get on with it. And her apology could not be put in a short note. ‘Do you know if it would be convenient for me to call sometime tomorrow?’

‘He will be away for a while,’ the butler told her.

‘Away?’ She was too late! He’d gone already.

‘Yes, Miss Melrose. Would you like me to let him know you called?’

She shook her head. ‘That won’t be necessary. I’ll see him when he returns.’

And I hope I don’t lose my nerve while I’m waiting
, she thought as she walked away.