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Authors: Beryl Matthews

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BOOK: Hold on to your Dreams
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‘Good Lord!’ David handed the letter back to Alex. ‘I’ve just received a letter from Edward and he never mentioned that.’

‘Sergeant Harris wanted me to know because I asked him to keep an eye on Edward. He’s distinguished himself.’

‘He has, and he isn’t saying anything. I wonder why? The Edward I knew would have been shouting his achievements from the rooftops.’

‘I doubt he’s the same person now. I suspect he doesn’t see himself as a hero, and doesn’t feel he deserves to be given a medal. I’ve seen it before. Some men carry out the most courageous deeds, and then wonder what all the fuss is about when they’re honoured. Harris is impressed, and as you read, considers Edward a fine soldier, and eventually officer material.’

Standing up, David began to pace, deep in thought, and
then he stopped. ‘His mother would be proud of him. I think she should now be told the truth.’

‘Is she well enough?’

‘She’s made progress over the last few weeks and is now able to sit in a chair for part of the day. Walking is still a problem, but there’s more hope of a good recovery.’

‘I’m pleased to hear it.’

Sitting down again, David drew in a deep breath. ‘I’ll discuss this when I visit Gertie and her father this evening. Edward has made arrangements for some of his pay to come to me – I received the first amount yesterday – and he’s given me the task of persuading his father to accept it.’

‘That won’t be easy,’ Alex remarked.

‘No, but I’ve got to try and make him. Not only has Edward been honoured for bravery, but also he’s trying to help with the financial situation. It isn’t much, but it’s all he’s got, and the gesture should be respected.’

‘It should, and I also agree that it’s time to tell Mrs Melrose where her son is, and what he’s doing. But that decision will be up to her family, of course.’

‘I don’t look forward to telling Sutton, but I know I’ll have Gertie’s support. She’s the only one who could make him take the money.’

‘You’re quite right.’ Alex handed him the sergeant’s letter. ‘Show him this. It might help.’

‘Thanks.’

‘You have young visitors, sir,’ the butler announced on entering the library.

‘And who might they be?’ Alex asked, knowing full well who had arrived.

‘It’s us!’ called a high-pitched voice. ‘You said we could come to Sunday tea.’

David chuckled, recognising the voice.

‘Ah, so I did. Show them in.’

The door swung open and in tumbled Johnny, May, Fred and Millie.

May gave a whoop of delight as soon as she spotted David and headed straight for him, arms outstretched.

‘Hello, sweetheart.’ He crouched down and waited for the little girl to reach him. The change in her was remarkable. Not only was she now walking freely and with hardly a trace of a limp, but also her cheeks were rosy and her speech was improving all the time.

‘Davy,’ she giggled. ‘You have tea too?’

‘Of course he will.’ Alex had tucked Johnny under his arm, making the boy squeal with delight. ‘I’ll just take this one to Cook so he can tell her what he wants.’

Then he strode out of the room, leaving everyone else laughing. Even the butler’s mouth was twitching.

‘He’s so strong,’ Millie said admiringly, ‘and quite good looking when he laughs.’

‘Davy too!’ May told them. ‘Me marry him.’

‘Now you’re in trouble, Mr Gardener,’ spluttered Fred as he ruffled May’s hair. ‘You’re too young to be thinking of marriage.’

‘I grow,’ she told him, indignant at having her hair messed up. ‘All better now.’

‘You certainly are.’ David sat her on a comfortable chair. ‘You come and see me when you’re eighteen.’

The little girl nodded and grinned triumphantly at Fred.

Johnny erupted back into the room, followed closely by Alex. ‘It’s all ready! You ought to see what we’ve got. I ain’t never seen so much grub.’

It turned out to be the noisiest couple of hours David could ever remember, and he’d never seen Alex so relaxed. He hadn’t mentioned how things were going with Miriam Chester, but David assumed the courtship was progressing satisfactorily. He decided he didn’t really want to know, either, because the picture of that lovely girl was etched in his mind and heart.

 

Later that evening, David was shown into the sitting room where Gertrude was curled up in a chair, lost in a book she was reading. He was sorry he had to disturb her, because she looked so relaxed. She had completely recovered from her fainting spell and was much more her usual self. Her father had kept his word and lifted some of the burden from her, but she was still doing more than her fair share of the work. And knowing her as he did, he was certain no one could stop her. It was rare to find her relaxing, and the sight pleased him.

‘Good evening, Gertie.’

She started, looked up and smiled, scrambling to her feet. ‘David! I didn’t hear you come in.’

He gave her a gentle hug. ‘Good book?’

‘You know me when I’m reading. The world could come to a stop and I wouldn’t know. Sit down. Have you had anything to eat?’

‘Plenty. Alex gave a tea party for May, Johnny, Fred and Millie. Then I had a quiet dinner with him so we could
discuss business. He doesn’t stop working for anything, not even on a Sunday.’

She turned away, but not before he’d seen the flash of sadness at the mention of Alex. He knew how she felt, but what was done couldn’t be changed, and she knew that. Alex had waited, hoping she would come to like him, but he’d given up on her now and was getting on with his life. And they both had to follow his example.

‘Is your father in? I’ve got to see him.’

‘He’s in his study. Has something happened? You look concerned.’

‘I have some news, and I’m not sure how your father’s going to take it.’

‘Edward?’

‘Yes, but don’t be alarmed. I’ve heard from him and there are things your father should know.’

‘But am I going to want to hear them?’ Sutton walked into the room and shook David’s hand.

‘That’s something I don’t know.’ He glanced backwards, and then pulled a face. ‘I’ll keep the door right behind me if you don’t mind, in case I need to make a hasty retreat.’

‘You’re quite safe,’ Sutton laughed. ‘Today Florence did a complete circuit of her room, using only a cane for support, so I’m in a good mood.’

‘Oh, I’m very relieved.’

‘We all are.’ He settled in an armchair, smiled at his daughter, and then turned his attention back to David. ‘So, what’s this news?’

‘I’ve received a letter from Edward, and so has Alex.’ He decided to give them the news about the medal before
mentioning the money. He handed Sutton the letter received from the sergeant. ‘Edward has distinguished himself,’ he pointed out, as the silence stretched.

‘What is it, Father?’ Gertrude was on her feet. ‘May I see the letter?’

Without a word he handed it to his daughter, his expression unreadable.

‘This is wonderful!’ she exclaimed, as she looked at her father with pleading eyes. ‘He’s trying to make something of himself, and Mother should be told.’

Her father’s mouth thinned in a straight line. ‘And I suppose he’s told you what a great hero he is?’

‘No, there’s no mention of any of this in my letter or the one Alex received from him. We wouldn’t have known about it if the sergeant hadn’t sent that report.’

David paused. It was clear Sutton wasn’t going to forgive his son even if he had won a commendation for bravery. Now for the difficult part. ‘Edward has made arrangements for regular payments to be sent to me. I received the first payment yesterday. He knows he will never be forgiven for what he’s done, but he urges you to accept this small amount of money. He will never be able to repay you, of course.’

‘Damned right!’

David held out the envelope and Sutton ignored it. ‘If you don’t take it, I’m to give it to Gertie, but it would be a merciful gesture if you’d accept.’

‘Please.’ Gertrude reached out for his hand, pleading in her eyes. ‘Think how happy this would make Mother. Her son hasn’t just been awarded a medal; he’s received the Victoria Cross!’

‘That’s the highest honour,’ David pointed out, knowing they had to emphasise that. Sutton had been badly hurt, mentally and physically, by his son’s disastrous gambling. And his wife’s illness because of the worry must make forgiveness almost impossible. ‘Edward is leaving himself very little to exist on. Please allow him to do this.’

Giving a brief nod, Sutton took the envelope from David. ‘I’ll accept this for six months only, after that it must stop. I don’t want his money, but I’ll accept it for my wife’s sake. It will comfort her to know he’s making this gesture.’

David breathed a silent sigh of relief. It was only a partial acceptance, but he hadn’t been sure Sutton would take anything from the son who had caused his family such terrible grief and hardship.

‘Thank you, Father.’ Gertrude stood up and leant over to kiss his forehead. ‘Can we tell Mother now?’

‘Yes, I think we must.’ He stood up. ‘You come as well, David.’

Florence was sitting in a chair beside the bed, and David was pleased to see her smile when they entered. She was looking much better.

She held out her hand to him. ‘David, how lovely to see you. Gertrude tells me you have a new job. You must tell me all about it.’

‘In a moment, my dear.’ Sutton sat on the edge of the bed, and cradled his wife’s hand in his. ‘We have good news for you.’

‘Oh.’ Her eyes flicked from one face to the other. ‘Is it about Edward?’

‘Yes, and before we start we must apologise for keeping certain details from you, but we feel you are now strong enough, so David will tell you the whole story.’

No wonder he’d been asked to come as well. Edward’s father was still unwilling to talk about his son.

‘Start from the beginning, and don’t leave anything out,’ he was urged.

After a short pause to collect his thoughts, he began with his own futile search, and then the result of Alex’s help.

Florence listened to every word, her eyes never leaving his face, as the story of what had happened to her son unfolded. ‘The Victoria Cross,’ she gasped.

‘Yes, Mother.’ Gertrude held out the letter. ‘Would you like to read what the sergeant says about him?’

She took the letter eagerly, reading it through twice, and then again. After that she folded it carefully. ‘Do you think Alexander would mind if I kept this, David?’

‘I’m sure he’d be happy for you to have it.’

‘Thank him for me, and tell him I’m grateful for the help he’s given our family. What our son did was a terrible thing, but he’s trying to redeem himself, and that must be respected.’ She looked pointedly at her husband.

When his only response was a slight nod of the head, she continued, sounding more like the woman she’d been before her illness. ‘I know it will be hard for you to forgive him, my dear, but at least recognise his desire to make amends. Accept his money with good grace, and a note of acknowledgement from you would be welcomed, I’m sure.’

‘Whatever you say, my dear.’

‘No! Don’t do it just to please me, Sutton. It must come from your heart, and if that is impossible, then don’t do it. I’ll write to him myself. Our wayward son is in great danger, and we might never see him again. I won’t have him going to his grave believing his family hate him. I won’t have it!’

Alarmed, Gertrude was on her feet. ‘He won’t, Mother. Please don’t upset yourself. We’ll all write to him. Won’t we, Father?’

‘Of course. I’ll write, acknowledging his achievements, but you must know that I will
not
have him back in this house again ever.’ He raised his hands by way of an apology to his wife. ‘I promise I’ll write accepting his money, but that’s all I’m prepared to do.’

She nodded, giving a sad smile. ‘That is enough for the moment. Now, I think we should all have a drink to mark and honour a VC valiantly won.’

‘What are we going to do?’

‘We have to go.’ Gertrude chewed her lip as she turned the invitation card over and over in her hands. ‘Do you really think this is to announce the engagement between Alexander and Miriam?’

‘Yes, it must be.’ David nodded grimly. ‘The Chesters are walking around with smiles on their faces. Alex is the catch of the year, and this lavish Spring Ball is the perfect way to announce a forthcoming marriage. It’s going to be damned uncomfortable for both of us.’

‘We’ll just have to smile and offer the happy couple our congratulations.’ She gave her friend a sympathetic glance. ‘It’s going to be worse for you. I had my chance and messed it up, but you fell in love with a girl you’ve never been able to get near because there was a tall, powerful man standing in the way.’

‘I wouldn’t have stood a chance with her, anyway, but it doesn’t change the way I feel.’

‘You mustn’t believe that,’ she said sharply. ‘You’re a fine man, and any girl with an ounce of sense would be honoured to become your wife.’

Suddenly he grinned. ‘The way things are going we could end up marrying each other.’

‘Now you’re being silly,’ she scolded. ‘You’re my substitute brother and best friend. If we tried to be romantic with each other we’d never be able to stop laughing.’

‘You’re right, of course.’ He became serious again. ‘But you still haven’t come up with an idea of how we can avoid this function.’

‘We can’t. Mother’s health is steadily improving since we told her about Edward, and she’s determined to attend. This ball will be her first social outing. She’s excited about attending, and Father believes the outing will do her a world of good. You know how she’s always enjoyed such occasions. I have to go,’ she said gently, ‘and I would appreciate having your company. And anyway, it will look very strange if you’re not there. It’s common knowledge how well you’re doing as Alexander’s agent, and how close you’ve become. Everyone will expect you to be there.’

He nodded. ‘There’s no way out. It will be a glittering affair. Do you and your mother have any jewellery left?’

‘Not a piece between us.’ Gertrude gave a wry smile. ‘Perhaps we’ll start a new, unadorned, fashion.’

She was making a joke of it, but David knew their lack of jewels would be noticed. ‘What about gowns?’

‘We still have those we wore at New Year. Mother has
lost weight, but I’ve altered hers, and it fits well now.’

‘You’re also slimmer, Gertie.’

‘I’ve made mine fit, as well. We don’t care what others think. These last months have been a nightmare, but we’ve come through. Mother’s almost back to full health, the business has been steadily growing. We’re even making a small profit now.’ She leant forward, eyes shining with triumph. ‘We’re winning, David. Against all the odds we’re winning! Do you believe we care what other people think or say about us?’

His heart lifted in admiration for her and the family he loved. Every material possession had been sacrificed to give Florence the best medical care – even Hanna’s jewellery had gone to help. But the joy of seeing Florence once again running the house, laughing, and encouraging them in their efforts, was the only reward they needed. Gertie was right – what other people thought was of no importance.

‘You’ll both shine brighter than any jewels.’

‘We intend to. Now –’ she gave an impish smile – ‘your invitation is for Mr Gardener and guest, so who are you taking? You need a pretty girl on your arm.’

‘I thought of asking Millie,’ he joked, ‘but I’m not sure Fred would allow that.’

‘What a splendid idea!’ She went over to the mantelpiece and picked up her own invitation. ‘Mother and Father are on one card, and my invitation is the same as yours. I could invite Fred to be my escort. What do you think?’

Tipping his head back, he roared with laughter. ‘What a stir that would cause!’

‘Do we care?’ Then her amusement faded. ‘I’ve never met the Chesters, but I hear they are very
proper
, and I can’t understand why we’ve been invited. You are included because of your connection with Alexander, but why us?’

‘I suspect that’s Alex’s doing. Although the ball is being given by Lord and Lady Chester, it’s to be held in Alex’s London home because of the large ballroom.’

‘Oh.’ She studied the card. ‘I didn’t notice that, but I still don’t understand why he should invite us. Since Edward’s gambling came to light we have withdrawn from society.’

‘Perhaps he thinks it’s time you rejoined the social round. And he likes you, Gertie. All of you.’

‘I’m aware he likes Mother and Father, but not me. I’m so ashamed every time I remember the disgraceful way I’ve treated him. He’s done so much for us, and I haven’t even had the decency to acknowledge it. I should have at least written him a note, but I didn’t. I’m not a very nice person, am I?’

‘Nonsense! You were uneasy about him from the moment you met, and since then you’ve been under enormous strain. I’m sure he understands that, and he’s not the kind of man to hold a grudge,’ he told her gently.

‘You all talk about him as if he’s perfect – some kind of saint.’

‘Oh no,’ he laughed. ‘He has many faults, just like the rest of us, but when you get to know him you realise he is a man of high ideals, having his own standards of right and wrong. He’s respected, but many are wary of him. Discipline governs his life – and that includes self-discipline.’

‘It would be interesting to see him lose control just once and glimpse the hidden man.’

‘You wouldn’t like to see it, and if that ever happens I’ll run for cover,’ he joked.

‘You do exaggerate,’ she told him. ‘Back to the subject in hand. What are we going to do about our guests?’

‘Take Millie and Fred.’

‘We can’t, I was only joking.’ She took a swipe at him, missing as he ducked. ‘Be serious.’

‘I am. Think how they’d enjoy the evening. I’ll see they’re suitably dressed. Come on, Gertie, this is going to be a difficult evening for both of us, so let’s have some fun. At least Millie and Fred will make us laugh.’

‘Hmm, you’re right.’ She thought for a moment, and then chuckled. ‘All right, let’s do it. They can only chuck us out.’

‘They won’t do that. Fred and Millie polish up quite nicely.’ He leapt up and kissed her cheek. ‘You’re the best friend a man can have. And it’s lovely to see your bright smile again.’

 

‘You look splendid, Mother.’ Gertrude checked the dress from all angles. ‘And the cane Fred made you is very elegant.’

Florence ran her hand over it and smiled. ‘Yes, it’s quite beautiful. He’s a very talented boy, and your father is impressed with his work.’

‘I most certainly am.’ Sutton walked into the room. ‘You both look absolutely beautiful. You’ve done a wonderful job with the gowns, Gertie. Now, the carriage
David ordered for us has arrived, so we should be on our way.’

While her parents talked quietly, she watched the passing scenery, wondering what the evening held in store. She hadn’t heard from David about their idea for escorts, so she’d assumed nothing had come of it. That was a shame really, though hardly surprising. But it would have been fun to have Fred and Millie’s lively company at the ball.

Glancing at her mother, she felt a warm glow of pleasure. She still needed support when walking, and tired easily, but was much improved. The doctor was now hopeful of a full recovery, but keeping her free from worry was still their main concern. However, it was becoming obvious her mother had changed. There was a quieter, almost serene air about her at times. She talked about her son with pride as she acknowledged his heroic achievements, but his past was never mentioned, and they were happy to keep it that way. She was proud of her son, and it was the only thing that mattered. As long as her mother was happy then she would continue to improve.

‘Aren’t we rather early?’ Florence asked her husband.

‘A room has been set aside for you so you can rest before your grand entrance,’ he teased affectionately. ‘And you may retire there at any time during the evening should you feel overtired.’

‘How very thoughtful.’ She nodded at her husband and daughter. ‘I do tire easily, but the doctor said I’ll get stronger.’

‘Of course you will, my dear. You’re almost back to full health, and we’re very proud of you. Ah, here we are.’

Sutton helped his wife out of the carriage, then bent his head and whispered in her ear, ‘Are you ready to be congratulated by everyone on your recovery? Not only will all be pleased to see you again, but your son’s exploits have been in the newspapers.’

Gertrude went to the other side of her mother, sad to hear her father referring to Edward as her son, and not theirs. Most of the reports about the breaking of the Ladysmith siege had mentioned the names of those honoured in battle. Copies of the papers were now her mother’s treasured possessions.

Florence’s head came up, her carriage upright as they made their way up the flight of steps to the entrance. As soon as they were inside, her parents were shown to a room on the ground floor, and with an hour to pass before the festivities began, she made her way to the library.

The level of noise hit her as she opened the door. The scene inside was unbelievable. A small boy was tearing around the room, being pursued by an even smaller girl, who was screaming at the top of her voice.

David was in the middle of the chaos, laughing, and when he saw Gertrude, he scooped up the little girl. ‘Quiet Johnny!’ he yelled. ‘We have a visitor.’

The boy skidded to a halt, making a valuable-looking vase on a nearby table wobble dangerously. Gertrude lunged at it, managing to steady it before it crashed to the floor. ‘Phew!’

‘Well caught, Miss.’

She turned to face two people she hardly recognised.

‘It’s us,’ Millie giggled, as she sketched a curtsy. She was wearing a simple white dress embroidered with blue forget-me-nots. ‘Don’t we look grand. We’re coming to the ball.’

‘You look stunning!’

‘Mr Gardener got the clothes for us,’ Fred told her, before spinning round. He was wearing full evening dress, and he appeared to have shot up suddenly. He was now taller than her. ‘What do you think?’

‘My goodness, Fred, you look quite the young gentleman.’ She glanced questioningly at David.

‘I put the idea to Alex and he was in full agreement. What do you think of your escort for this evening?’

She slipped her arm through Fred’s. ‘I’m honoured, sir.’

‘Me too, Miss Melrose.’

‘Oh, and this bundle of mischief is May.’ David put the little girl down. ‘And the noisy one’s Johnny.’

‘Hello,’ she said, stooping down as they came to see her. ‘Are you coming to the ball, as well?’

‘Nah, we’re too young,’ Johnny told her, ‘but Lord’s found a place for us upstairs where we can see everything.’

‘Lord?’

‘He insists Alex must be a lord,’ David told her.

‘Ah.’ Feeling a tug at her sleeve, she saw May pulling at a piece of gold satin ribbon. ‘Do you like that?’

‘Pretty.’

Carefully unthreading the desired piece of ribbon, she handed it to the little girl, who took it from her as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

‘Ooo, ta.’ May held it up to Johnny. ‘Look, tie in my hair.’

‘I’ll do it, sweetie, come here.’

May stood patiently while a perfect bow was arranged in her fair hair. When it was done she gave Gertrude a sweet smile, and then ran over to David. ‘Look!’

He made a great show of being overwhelmed by the beauty of it, making the girl shriek with glee.

‘What is going on here?’

Everyone stopped talking, and turned to face the woman who had just come into the library.

‘What are these children doing here, Mr Gardener?’ Her mouth turned down with displeasure at the sight.

Before David had a chance to answer, Alex strode in. ‘They are my friends – and my children, Lady Chester, and are here at my invitation.’

The woman was lost for words as she stared at Alex. Then she recovered and gave a girlish laugh. ‘You’re teasing, Alexander.’

‘I assure you I’m not. Allow me to introduce you. Have you met Miss Melrose?’

‘No. How do you do?’

‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lady Chester.’ She was wearing so many diamonds it was hard not to blink in the glare.

‘David, you already know,’ Alex continued. ‘This is Millie and Fred. The young boy with jam around his face is Johnny – and the delightful little girl is May.’

Alex stooped down and held out his hands. ‘Show everyone how well you walk now, sweetheart.’

May fairly ran into his arms, her smile as wide as it could get. He swept her up. ‘My goodness, don’t you look beautiful with the gold ribbon in your hair.’

She swivelled round and pointed at Gertrude. ‘Pretty lady gave me. From dress.’

‘That was very kind of her. Did you thank her?’ She nodded vigorously.

‘Your suit will get crumpled. You should put the child down.’ Lady Chester moved closer to Alex. ‘Is she … er … clean?’

‘Course she is.’ Johnny had sharp ears and was indignant. ‘We all are! Lord sent men to our street and they fum …’ he screwed up his face in concentration. ‘What’s the word?’

‘Fumigated,’ David told him.

‘That’s right. They got rid of the bugs. We’re as clean as you now, ain’t we, Lord?’

‘You most certainly are.’ He rested his hand on top of the agitated boy’s head. ‘Daisy will be coming for you any minute now, Johnny. You and May go with her. She’ll stay with you for an hour and then a carriage will take you both home. I’ve found a good vantage point for you on the balcony where you will be able to see the ballroom. There’s food there for you, as well.’

‘Lovely!’

‘Jelly?’ May wanted to know.

‘Lots.’ Alex put the child down and Johnny took hold of her hand.

‘We must go, Alexander,’ Lady Chester said. ‘Our guests are beginning to arrive.’

As they left the room, Gertrude was calling herself every nasty name she could think of. How could she have been such a fool? He was everything she admired in a man, and she had recognised it too late.

BOOK: Hold on to your Dreams
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