Holding On (23 page)

“What are you doing tonight
because—”

I
cut
him
off
before
he
could
ask
any
other
questions.
“I
have
a double
date,
and
I
need
to
go
get
ready.
Can
we
please
talk
about
this some other time? I don’t even really see why we are talking about it
at all.
You
have a girlfriend, and I am dating, so there really isn’t much
to talk about now after
all.”

Wow!
I
can
really
be
mean
when
I
want
to
be.
Since
when
did
I grow
a
pair?
I
knew
that
he
was
no
good
for
me,
that
I
didn’t
want
to
be with
someone
who
was
a
cheater,
but
still
my
body
was
defying
me
and reacting to
him.

“I
guess
you’re
right.
Enjoy
your
date
,”
he
said.
He
was
out
the door
before
I
could
reply,
and
for
that
I
was
thankful.
I
was
standing
behind
the
desk
with
my
mouth
open
in
shock.
I
was
shocked
by
not
only his reaction but also how I acted. Crap! I didn’t want to hurt
anyone’s feeling, but I needed to protect my own
first.

I pulled up to the address that Natalie had texted me earlier that night, with the radio blasting and Jill and I singing at the top of our
lungs.
We
both sounded awful, but the music was almost loud enough that
we
couldn’t hear our own voices.
Almost.

After
I
turned
the
car
off,
I
sent
Natalie
a
quick
text
to
let
her
know we
were
there
and
to
meet
us
out
front.
There
was
a
bit
of
a
chill
in the
air
that
I
could
feel,
but
I
only
had
on
a
sweater—a
very
low-cut sweater—and
jeans.
I
had
left
my
jacket
at
home,
knowing
that
it
would
be
incredibly
hot
inside
the
house.
I
wrapped
my
arms
tightly
around my chest as we walked toward the massive front
doors.

As we were opening the door, I could see Natalie rushing
toward us,
two
pretty
hot
guys
following
behind
her.
She
almost
knocked
us over with a group hug when she got to us. I could smell the faint
scent
of something sweet mixed with alcohol on her breath. I had to roll
my eyes. I knew that I wasn’t going to be drinking that much tonight, but I
was
not
going
to
look
down
on
my
friends
for
enjoying
themselves. Plus,
I
have
a
feeling
she
would
need
a
little
“liquid
courage”
when
she’d run into her ex.

Natalie
weighed
only
a
little
over
a
hundred
pounds
but
didn’t
look like
she
was
sickly.
She
was
taller
than
my
average
5’5”
by
a
couple inches but perfectly tan and perfectly toned. I remember her telling
me that she planned to run track this spring. She had almost every inch
of her well-toned body on display tonight in the not-so-modest
strapless
dress
she
was
wearing.
I
thought
that
I
was
cold
outside.
She
must
have been
freezing.

She
pulled
away
and
introduced
both
of
us
to
Ben
and
her
date, Morgan.
I
didn’t
know
whether
to
shake
their
hands
or
give
them
a hug,
so
I
just
gave
a
smile
and
a
small
wave.
I
think
Ben
knew
how uncomfortable I was because he came over and took my hand. I let
him intertwine our fingers, and he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught both Jill and Natalie grinning at
me.
“Let’s
get you something to drink,” he whispered in my
ear,
and
he pulled me away from my
friends.

“Sure,”
I
replied.
I
had
only
been
to
a
handful
of
parties
where
there had
been
alcohol
readily
available,
and
this
one
seemed
like
there
would
be more than enough alcohol for the entire high school if they were
to show
up.
I
was
not
going
to
be
getting
drunk
since
I
drove,
so
I
opted
for a beer and planned to take small sips throughout the
night.

As
we
walked
back
to
where
we
left
Natalie,
Morgan,
and
Jill,
I started
to
look
around
the
house.
It
was
very
large
and
very
beautiful.
It was
also
packed
to
the
brim
with
people
that
I
didn’t
know.
If
Ben
let
go of
my
hand,
I
would
be
lost
in
a
heartbeat,
surrounded
by
sweaty
bodies. I was completely out of my comfort
zone.

We
found our friends and started to move through the house as
a group.
Natalie
led
us
through
a
hallway
and
then
another
and
finally downstairs. I forgot she had probably been here before. As we
rounded the
corner
at
the
bottom
of
the
stairs,
I
realized
that
there
were
even more
people
down
here.
We
found
a
small
corner
to
talk
and
stayed
there most of the
night.

I
was
actually
having
a
good
time,
and
I
was
afraid
to
leave
the circle, even though I had to go to the bathroom.
Finally,
after holding
it longer
than
I
thought
was
possible,
I
let
go
of
Ben’s
hand
and
asked
him to hold my
beer.
Natalie gave me directions to the closest bathroom;
of course, there was going to be more than one in a house this size, and
I dashed
away.

The first bathroom was locked, and the people in it were not
using it for the same reason I needed to if the moaning sounds were correct.
I dashed
up
the
stairs
and
started
looking
around
for
another
option.
There was a line for the next bathroom I found, and I knew that I wouldn’t
be able to hold it. There had to be one more with at least a smaller line
of people. I dashed up the staircase in the main hallway and hoped that
I would be able to find just one more bathroom. Thankfully, I did, and
I sat down just as my bladder was about to explode.