Horrid Henry Tricks the Tooth Fairy (5 page)

He made a big black mark in his book.

“I threw up on the boat!” shouted Greedy Graham.

“I threw up on the plane!” shouted Sour Susan.

“I threw up in the car!” shouted Dizzy Dave.

“I said that’s enough!” ordered Mr. Nerdon. He glared at Horrid Henry. “Get out of here, all of you! It’s lunchtime.”

Rats, thought Henry. Mr. Nerdon was one tough teacher.

Rude Ralph grabbed him.

“Ha ha, Henry,” said Ralph.“You lose. Gimme that dollar.”

“No,” said Henry.“I’ve got until the end of lunch.”

“You can’t do anything to him between now and then,” said Ralph.

“Oh yeah?” said Henry.“Just watch me.”

Then Henry had a wonderful, spectacular idea.This was it.The best plan he’d ever had. Someday someone would stick a plaque on the school wall celebrating Henry’s genius.There would be songs written about him. He’d probably even get a medal. But first things first. In order for his plan to work to perfection, he needed Peter.

Perfect Peter was playing hopscotch with his friends Tidy Ted and Spotless Sam.

“Hey Peter,” said Henry.“How would you like to be a real member of the Purple Hand?”

The Purple Hand was Horrid Henry’s secret club. Peter had wanted to join for ages, but naturally Henry would never let him.

Peter’s jaw dropped open.

“Me?” said Peter.

“Yes,” said Henry.“If you can pass the secret club test.”

“What do I have to do?” said Peter eagerly.

“It’s tricky,” said Henry.“And probably much too hard for you.”

“Tell me, tell me,” said Peter.

“All you have to do is lie down right there below that window and stay absolutely still.You can’t move until I tell you to.”

“Why?” said Peter.

“Because that’s the test,” said Henry.

Perfect Peter thought for a moment.

“Are you going to drop something on me?”

“No,” said Henry.

“OK,” said Peter. He lay down obediently.

“And I need your shoes,” said Henry.

“Why?” said Peter.

Henry scowled.

“Do you want to be in the secret club or not?” said Henry.

“I do,” said Peter.

“Then give me your shoes and be quiet,” said Henry.“I’ll be checking on you. If I see you moving one little bit, you can’t be in my club.”

Peter gave Henry his sneakers, then lay still as a statue.

Horrid Henry grabbed the shoes, then dashed up the stairs to his classroom.

It was empty. Good.

Horrid Henry went over to the window and opened it.Then he stood there, holding one of Peter’s shoes in each hand.

Henry waited until he heard Mr. Nerdon’s footsteps.Then he went into action.

“Help!” shouted Horrid Henry. “Help!”

Mr. Nerdon entered. He saw Henry and glowered.

“What are you doing here? Get out!”

“Help!” shouted Henry.“I can’t hold on to him much longer…he’s slipping… aaahhh, he’s fallen!”

Horrid Henry held up the empty shoes.

“He’s gone,” whispered Henry. He peeked out of the window.“Ugghh, I can’t look.”

Mr. Nerdon went pale. He ran to the window and saw Perfect Peter lying still and shoeless on the ground below.

“Oh no,” gasped Mr. Nerdon.

“I’m sorry,” panted Henry.“I tried to hold on to him, honest, I—”

“Help!” screamed Mr. Nerdon. He raced down the stairs.“Police! Fire! Ambulance! Help! Help!”

He ran over to Peter and knelt by his still body.

“Can I get up now, Henry?” said Perfect Peter.

“What!?” gasped Mr. Nerdon.“What did you say?”

Then the terrible truth dawned. He, Ninius Nerdon, had been tricked.

“YOU HORRID BOY! GO STRAIGHT TO THE PRINCIPAL— NOW!” screeched Mr. Nerdon.

Perfect Peter jumped to his feet.

“But…but—” spluttered Perfect Peter.

“Now!” screamed Mr. Nerdon.“How dare you! To the principle!”

“AAAGGGHHHH,” shrieked Peter.

He slunk off to the principal’s office, weeping.

Mr. Nerdon turned to race up the stairs to grab Henry.

“I’ll get you, Henry!” he screamed. His face was white. He looked as if he were going to faint.

“Help,” squeaked Mr. Nerdon.

Then he fainted.

Clunk! Thunk! Thud! NEE NAW NEE NAW NEE NAW.

When the ambulance arrived, the only person lying on the ground was Mr. Nerdon.They scooped him onto a stretcher and took him away.

The perfect end to a perfect day, thought Horrid Henry, throwing his new football in the air. Peter sent home in disgrace. Mr. Nerdon gone for good. Even the news that scary Miss Battle-Axe would be teaching Henry’s class didn’t bother him. After all, tomorrow was another day.

And now for a sneak peek at one of the laugh-out-loud stories in Horrid Henry and the Mega-Mean Time Machine

PERFECT PETER'S REVENGE

Perfect Peter had had enough. Why oh why did he always fall for Henry’s tricks?

Every time it happened he swore Henry would never ever trick him again. And every time he fell for it. How could he have believed that there were fairies at the bottom of the garden? Or that there was such a thing as a Fangmangler? But the time machine was the worst. The very very worst. Everyone had teased him. Even Goody-Goody Gordon asked him if he’d seen any spaceships recently.

Well, never again. His mean, horrible brother had tricked him for the very last time.

I’ll get my revenge, thought Perfect Peter, pasting the last of his animal stamps into his album. I’ll make Henry sorry for being so mean to me.

But what horrid mean nasty thing could he do? Peter had never tried to take revenge on anyone.

He asked Tidy Ted.

“Mess up his room,” said Ted.

But Henry’s room was already a mess. He asked Spotless Sam.

“Put a spaghetti stain on his shirt,” said

Sam.

But Henry’s shirts were already stained. Peter picked up a copy of his favorite magazine Best Boy. Maybe it would have some handy hints on the perfect revenge. He searched the table of contents:

Reluctantly, Peter closed Best Boy magazine. Somehow he didn’t think he’d find the answer inside. He was on his own.

I’ll tell Mom that Henry eats candy in his bedroom, thought Peter. Then Henry would get into trouble. Big big trouble.

But Henry got into trouble all the time. That wouldn’t be anything special.

I know, thought Peter, I’ll hide Mr. Kill. Henry would never admit it, but he couldn’t sleep without Mr. Kill. But so what if Henry couldn’t sleep? He’d just come and jump on Peter’s head or sneak downstairs and watch scary movies.

I have to think of something really, really horrid, thought Peter. It was hard for Peter to think horrid thoughts, but Peter was determined to try.

He would call Henry a horrid name, like Ugly Toad or Poo Poo Face. That would show him.

But if I did, Henry would hit me, thought Peter.

Wait, he could tell everyone at school that Henry wore diapers. Henry the big diaper. Henry the big smelly diaper. Henry diaper face. Henry poopy pants. Peter smiled happily. That would be the perfect revenge.

Then he stopped smiling. Sadly, no one at school would believe that Henry still wore diapers. Worse, they might think that Peter still did! Eeeek.

I’ve got it, thought Peter, I’ll put a muddy twig in Henry’s bed. Peter had read a great story about a younger brother who’d done just that to a mean older one. That would serve Henry right.

But was a muddy twig enough revenge for all of Henry’s crimes against him?

No it was not.

I give up, thought Peter, sighing. It was hopeless. He just couldn’t think of anything horrid enough.

Peter sat down on his beautifully made bed and opened Best Boy magazine.

shrieked the headline.

And then a dreadful thought tiptoed into his head. It was so dreadful, and so horrid, that Perfect Peter could not believe that he had thought it.

“No,” he gasped. “I couldn’t.” That was too evil.

But…but…wasn’t that exactly what he wanted? A horrid revenge on a horrid brother?

“Don’t do it!” begged his angel.

“Do it!” urged his devil, thrilled to get the chance to speak. “Go on, Peter! Henry deserves it.”

YES! thought Peter. He would do it. He would have revenge!

Perfect Peter sat down at the computer.

Tap tap tap.

Dear Margaret,

I love you. Will you marry me?

Peter printed out the note and carefully scrawled:

There! thought Peter proudly. That looks just like Henry’s writing. He folded the note, then sneaked into the garden, climbed over the wall, and left it on the table inside Moody Margaret’s Secret Club tent.

We cannot believe Peter would be so awful to try to trick his wonderful brother Henry. You will not believe what happens next even if we tell you. Perfect Peter is not very perfect in Horrid Henry’s next hilarious book: Horrid Henry and the Mega-Mean Time Machine.