How to Be a Great Lover (9 page)

Secret from Lou's Archive

Be careful of giving a hand job in an enclosed space: the characteristic smell of semen is often strong and others may catch on to what you're up to.

THE STATE OF THE HANDS

Always keep in mind presentation, presentation, presentation! And in the case of manual stimulation, your hands are the center of attention—well, almost the center. In most of the techniques I describe below, you'll be using both your hands, so it's of the utmost importance that they look and feel their best. As I just mentioned, you'll be handling the most tender and sensitive parts of a man's body. Psychologically, he'll make a connection between the way you take care of your hands and the care your hands will take of him.

Needless to say, cleanliness is also key. You wouldn't want him to touch you with dirty hands, so show him the same courtesy You'll want your hands to be smooth, void of any rough spots. For soft, healthy skin, I suggest moisturizing your hands (avoid using perfumed lotions) every morning and evening before you turn in for the night. Your nails should be impeccable and well manicured. The tiniest nick could cause him extreme discomfort. The length and color of your nails are a matter of personal preference, but according to my male surveys, less is often more.

And as for your beautiful baubles: unless your rings or bracelets are perfectly smooth to the touch, I would take them off beforehand.

Techniques

Ladies, you may be familiar with some of these techniques, but I believe the more you know, the more pleasure you (both) will find. Even the world's best chefs don't rest on their laurels after mastering just one dish. They are always looking for ways to create something new using the same ingredients. And in a sexual relationship, those ingredients are your bodies, your attitudes, and your personal style.

In the seminars, we experiment and try out these various techniques with an "instructional product," otherwise known as a dildo. I give all the ladies their choice of which to use. Dildos, which have a base support and come in three natural skin shades—white, black, or mulatto—range in size from 5 inches (the executive model) to 6 inches and even 8 inches long. Believe it or not, most men measure in at 5-6 inches. By the way, most women prefer to practice these movements on something other than "the real thing," and I suggest that you try these techniques at home first. If you don't possess a dildo, a cucumber will do just fine; prop it up in a tall box of tissue to keep it steady Some women have tried using bananas, but the results were disappointing: bananas aren't nearly firm enough. Going to the green grocers will never feel quite the same again!

All of the techniques require two hands, and are designed ideally with the woman kneeling between his legs, facing her lover. Again, this will afford more range of motion. He should be propped up (with a pillow). I would also suggest that you ask him if he would enjoy watching—men invariably do.

The first technique I'm going to share with you is the now infamous Ode to Bryan. If you recall, Bryan was the friend

who first taught me, using a spoon from a cup of latte, what feels best to men.

Secret from Lou's Archive

Ladies, tell your partners that they should not try some of these techniques solo. One male partner of a female seminar attendee reported, "Much as I want to be able to do all of these to myself, I can't. They require my thumb to be in a position that I can't master."

ODE TO BRYAN

(requires a semierect to fully erect penis)

1. This is the all-time favorite. A female teacher from Seattle said,
   

   "For the first time I was going to make love to him the way I wanted to."
   

   Step 1
   . Apply the lubricant of your choice generously to both hands. It's a good idea to warm
   

2. your hands and the lubricant by gently rubbing your hands together.
   

   Step 2
   . Start with your hands out in front of you, thumbs down. The wrist has to be flexed away from you or you won't be in the position to do the twist, and the
   twist is crucial
   . Your
   

3. thumbs are held against your index fingers, they are NOT
   

   pointing down like little spikes, palms facing away from you. With one hand (it doesn't matter which one you start with), gently, but firmly hold the base of the penis. Your view should be of the back of your hand and four fingers. His view would be of your thumb, nestled into his pubic
   

4. hair. Position your other hand so
   

that it will be ready to move into position once the first hand's stroke is complete. Once you have completed one "cycle" both hands will be typically in constant motion, so you need not worry about where they will rest.

Step 3
. Maintain the placement of your hand while stroking up the shaft of his penis in a single continuous motion.

hand over the top of the penis, as if you were sculpting its head with the entire palm of your hand.

Step 6
. Because of the twist, your thumb will now be facing you and the back of your hand will be facing him. Come over the top and down the shaft again firmly to the starting position and immediately move your second hand into starting position, on top of your finishing hand. NOTE: This is important because you want to have a continuous flow of sensation. You'll get into a flow of motion very quickly. What you want to avoid is the kind of thing beginning dancers do when they count "one-two-three, one-two-three" in their partner's ear.

Step 7
. Follow steps 2-6 immediately with your other hand. Alternate hands repeatedly until. . . .

PENIS SAMBA

(requires a semierect to fully erect penis)

The Penis Samba is The Ode To Bryan done very quickly and ONLY at the top/head. And, as you will no doubt discover, this move takes on a rhythm all of its own.

Secret from Lou's Archive

As men age, the intensity and angle of their erections change. When he is an adolescent, his penis is typically close to the abdomen; the older he gets, the wider the angle becomes.

Step 4
. When you reach the head, twist your hand slightly as if you were carefully opening a jar. Do not twist until you reach the head.

Bryan's comment was "
The twist is the most critical part and must be done only at the top
."

Step 5
. Maintaining as much contact as possible between the head of the penis and the palm of your hand, rotate your

BASKET WEAVING, OR THE BASKET WEAVE

(requires a semierect to fully erect penis)

This particular move was

4
inspired by a woman who suffers from multiple sclerosis. On account of her wrist tiring easily, she needed to use two hands for support. "After the seminar, I went home and did the Basket Weave on him. It was like magic."

1. Step 1
   . Apply your lubricant of choice generously to both
   

   hands.
   

   Step 2
   . Clasp your hands together, interlacing fingers.
   

   Step 3
   . Relax thumbs in order to make a hole.
   

   Step 4
   . Lower your clasped hands onto his penis. The fit should be snug, much like a
   

2. tight vagina. In essence, you
   

   are creating an impostor vagina.
   

   Step 5
   . Move your clasped hands up and down the shaft,
   

   continuing the firm and gentle hold.
   

   Step 6
   . Twist your clasped hands slowly as they go up and down the shaft, much like the movement inside a washing machine. Use one long twist per shaft length. This isn't a quick swishing back and forth.
   

   HEARTBEAT OF AMERICA
   

   (requires a semierect to fully erect penis)
   

   This technique used to be called the "Pulse" until a woman in a Santa Barbara seminar said, "This ain't no pulse, this is the heartbeat of America."
   

   

   Steps 1-5
   . Follow instructions for Basket Weaving.
   

   Step 6
   . Stop the twisting motion and keep in mind that you are imitating a vagina. With your hands at the top of the shaft, gently but firmly begin contracting and releasing your clasped hands, as if they
   had a pulse of their own, one every second, just as your vagina/PC muscle contracts when you have an orgasm.
   

   Step 7
   . Keep pulsing while going up and down the shaft. No need to twist while doing this move. You want him to feel the pulse.
   

   Note: You can use a pulse as part of any stroke, and it is particularly good to use as he is ejaculating. You can
   

   heighten the orgasmic sensation for him by doing the following:
   

   • Just as he starts to ejaculate and you can feel the pulsations in the shaft of his penis, slow then stop any strong stroking motion (men often become too sensitive to motion at this point).
     
   • Maintaining warm hand contact with the shaft, pulse in time with his ejaculating pulsations until he has stopped ejaculating. (FYI: The pulsing is usually at a rate of one every 8/10 of a second.)
     

     Secret from Lou's Archive
     

     The "Milking" stroke from the base of the shaft towards the head of the penis that most men use as they are finishing "cleans the pipes" and allows for more intense satisfaction. You can help him with this, as well, ladies. To gauge the strength of the stroke, ask your partner to guide your hand the first time. Your thumb will create the pressure up the back of the urethra.
     

     TAFFY-PULL
     

     (ideal for soft, semierect, or fully erect penis)
     

     Some men prefer this elongating stroke of your hand on his penis, rather than using the strong, compacting, downward stroke of most hand techniques. A male sex therapist in the gentleman's seminar told me this is a stroke that men often use to get themselves erect when masturbating.
     

     

     Step 1
     . Apply lubricant
     3
     

     generously to both hands.
     

     Step 2
     . Clasp the base of his penis in an inverted "okay" sign. Your thumb and finger will be on his tummy, and you will be looking at the back of your hand.
     

     Step 3
     . Close your fingers, creating a warm soft tube—that impostor vagina. (Your free hand will be discussed in steps 5 and
     

     6.)
     4
     

     Step 4
     . Gently slide your fingers away from the base toward the head in upward strokes, moving your hand only to the top of the shaft, not over the head of his penis. Keep your fingers in contact with his penis on the way back down. Remember, it is important to constantly keep one of your hands in contact with his penis. as any break in your touch will be distracting to him. The stroke can be either parallel to his tummy or in vertical motion.
     

     Step 5
     . At the same time you are stroking upward with one hand, your free hand could be gently scratching his inner thighs and
     

     his testicles (at no other time will your good manicure be more appreciated). Many men love having their testicles softly scratched and stretched away from their bodies.
     

     Step 6
     . To further build sensation throughout his entire pelvic area, with your free hand, clasp your thumb against the palm of the hand and use the index finger edge of your free hand like a squeegee stroke going firmly from his belly button towards the base of his penis. I got this idea from men who told me they stroke themselves in this manner with the ends of the fingers of their free hand while masturbating to increase the sensation.
     

     BATTER-UP
     

     (ideal for soft, semierect, or fully erect penis)
     

     This is another version of The Taffy-Pull. Some women report that alternating Taffy-Pull with Batter-Up has led to rave reviews from their partners.
     

     Step 1
     . Apply lubricant generously to both hands.
     

     

     Step 2
     . Cup one hand in a large
     

     2
     "U" starting under the testicles.
     

     Step 3
     . With an open hand, stroke upwards over the testicles. They will lift up with your stroke. As your hand continues up the shaft, the testicles will gently drop back to their normal position under the shaft.
     

     

     Step 4
     . Gently slide your fingers
     

     away from the base toward the
     4
     

     head in upward strokes, moving your hand only to the top of the shaft. Keep your fingers in contact with his penis on the way back down. Again, it's important to remember to constantly keep your hand in full contact with the penis, as any break in your touch will be distracting to him.
     

     Step 5
     . At the same time you are stroking upward with one hand, gently stroke his inner thighs and his testicles with your free hand.
     

     BASIC ATTENTION
     

     (for soft, semierect, or erect penis)
     

     The main idea here is that a number of men enjoy a firm hold on the base of their penis while they are being stimulated.
     

     

     Step 1
     . Apply the lube of your choice to your hands.
     

     Step 2
     . Encircle the shaft with the index finger and thumb of one hand. creating a donut; maintain pressure. on his pubic area (like a candle holder for the penis). Then, holding the shaft with your fingertips facing him gently press your fingers into his scrotum with
     

     the pinkie edge of your hand; his testicles will be on either side of your fingers. *Be careful not to press directly on the testicles.
     

     Step 3
     . Use your free hand and perform half of Ode to Bryan on the glans (the head of the penis). Use the relaxed palm of your hand, sculpting over the top.
     

     Secret from Lou's Archive
     

     Men who are not circumcised tend to be more sensitive. Their glans is protected most of the time by the foreskin, except when it's erect, and is thus extremely sensitive to touch.