How to Defeat Harmful Habits (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (11 page)

Q
UESTION:
“What does it mean when someone is said to have an addictive personality?”

A
NSWER:
The term
addictive personality
is generally applied to individuals who are prone to form multiple addictions. They are believed to possess certain genetic and psychological influences that make them vulnerable to developing substance and/or behavioral addictions. The apostle Peter’s instruction to first-century Christians is pertinent to all of us today, and especially to those suffering with addictions:

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour”

(1 P
ETER
5:8).

Marion Jones recognized her need for change, and others recognized her need for a second chance. Marion eventually became one of the most popular basketball players in the Women’s National Basketball Association, signing a multiyear deal as a point guard with the Tulsa Shock in February 2011.

More importantly, Marion maintained a spirit of humility and repentance. Once her thinking changed, her life changed. Why do others not change? Because they never change their wrong beliefs.

W
RONG
B
ELIEF
—
THE
R
EBEL
:

“I really don’t want to change. What I’m doing is not that bad!”

R
IGHT
B
ELIEF
—
THE
R
EBEL
:

“I really need to change and take responsibility for my behavior. Instead of choosing to please myself, my deepest desire needs to be to please the Lord, yielding my life to Christ’s supernatural control.”

“Do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness”

(R
OMANS
6:12-13).

W
RONG
B
ELIEF
—
THE
R
EPENTANT
:

“I really want to change and I’ve tried, but I can’t. There is no hope for me.”

R
IGHT
B
ELIEF
—
THE
R
EPENTANT
:

“I can have success by yielding my bad habit to Christ’s supernatural control. My new habit is this: With Christ living in me, I will submit to His leadership so that His character can be clearly seen through my life.”

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength”

(P
HILIPPIANS
4:13).

911 Operator:
“911, do you have an emergency?”

Caller:
“Yeah, we have a shark attack.”

911 Operator:
“And the person is still in the water?”

Caller:
“They’re still in the water, yes. I think her arm might be gone.”
³⁶

By age 13, Hawaiian surfing prodigy Bethany Hamilton had quickly risen through the ranks of amateur surfing in pursuit of her lifelong dream of turning pro. She had sponsors interested in endorsing her and a tight-knit family of surfing enthusiasts who staunchly supported her. But, in a matter of seconds—while paddling to catch the next wave off Kauai’s North Shore—she had an arm savagely severed from her tiny frame by a 14-foot tiger shark.
³⁷

Emergency responders rushed Bethany to the hospital, radioing ahead to alert the staff. Bethany’s father, Tom—prepped to undergo knee surgery that same morning—was quickly removed from the same operating-room table his daughter would occupy minutes later as doctors raced to save her life.
³⁸

After surgery, Bethany awoke to find more than her left arm missing. Gone, too, were her dreams and her identity as a surfing phenomenon. But not for long. Within days, an undeniable desire to surf the world’s wildest waves came flooding back.
Was such a feat physically possible?
she wondered.
And, if so, how? What new habits and skills would be needed?
Bethany had more questions than answers. But of one thing she was certain: As soon as her stitches were removed, she would head straight back to the water with a surfboard under her right arm…her only arm.

For as long as Bethany could remember, her parents emphasized having true faith in Christ and, indeed , she received Jesus as her personal Lord and Savior, entrusting her life to Him. Never in the ensuing years, however, had her growing faith been tested so severely as on October 31, 2003—the day of the attack—and in the grueling months to come.

Uncertainty over how to live life as an amputee—and a surfer—was a constant companion. How could she tie on her swimsuit top, much less tunnel through world-class waves balanced atop a bobbing board? Since the
Handbook of Habits for One-armed Surfers
didn’t exist, Bethany turned to the only book she could trust to guide her—the Bible.

She had learned from it in church and at home, committing many Scripture verses to memory. Now they came flooding back, reassuring her that…

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength”

(P
HILIPPIANS
4:13).

“My mom and I were praying for God to show me His will,” said Bethany. “I wanted to be a light for Him in everything I was doing. And then, a couple of weeks later, the shark attack happened.”
³⁹
At that point, had Bethany questioned God’s plan for her life, few would have blamed her. To be sure, she grappled with at least two more critical questions: Would she spend her life in fear of whether God could be trusted, or would she
choose a life of faith
?

Of all the questions that crowded into her mind, “Why?” became the one she asked herself the most—but with a faith-filled twist. “I have this thought every second of my life,” she said. “‘Why me?’ Not necessarily in a negative way—like, ‘Why did this horrible thing have to happen to me?’ But more, ‘Why did God choose me and what does He have in mind for me?’”
⁴⁰

By habitually training her mind to focus on the
promise
of God’s plan rather than fearing the possibility of future peril, Bethany discovered the freedom to pursue her dream.

Y
OUR
T
RUE
F
REEDOM
G
ALATIANS
5:13-17

Freedom! People live for it and die for it…cherish it and curse it. But what does it mean? How do you get it? How do you keep it? Some say freedom is being able to do and say whatever they want. Others are more restrictive, adding, “As long as no one else’s freedom is violated.” But freedom, from God’s perspective, is not being able to do whatever we want but being able to do whatever is right. For those controlled by harmful habits, freedom means having the ability to choose how they will think and behave, which involves breaking the power of the habits controlling them.

According to God’s Word, the solution to a bad habit is not just replacing it with a good habit, but also examining what first made us susceptible to developing that bad habit. The Bible says our natural inclination is to sin, which means doing things our own way rather than God’s way. It’s a struggle we all have in common, a struggle we all can win—as long as we are empowered by the Spirit of God to say
no
to our will and
yes
to God’s will. Truly, there is no real freedom apart from Him.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery”

(G
ALATIANS
5:1).

•
You are called to be free, so don’t use your freedom to be self-indulgent (verse 13).

•
You are commanded to love, so don’t fight one another (verses 14-15).

•
You are to live empowered by the Spirit, so don’t live to gratify your natural desires (verse 16).

•
Your natural inclinations conflict with the Spirit’s inclinations, so don’t allow yourself to be enslaved (verse 17).

Just three weeks after the attack, Bethany Hamilton waded into the Pacific Ocean—her parents and brothers verbally encouraging her, though inwardly unsure of what to expect. Rather than the long board she was accustomed to using, Bethany started over with a beginner board. Never would she forget what happened next.

“In some ways it was like learning to surf all over again. I had to learn how to paddle evenly with one arm.” Her initial tries didn’t work. Discouraged, she thought returning to surfing would be easier. “Then it happened…It’s hard for me to describe the joy I felt after I stood up and rode a wave for the first time after the attack. Even though I was all wet, I felt tears of happiness trickling down my face.”
⁴¹

Bethany had taken the first step toward her dream. Determination helped lift her atop her surfboard that November day…but another power was also at work. “It was what God had taught me growing up that helped me overcome my fear and get back on the board,” she said. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the L
ORD
your God will be with you wherever you go.”
⁴²

To have self-control you must first know what self-control is
not
. It is
not
“pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps.” It is
not
overcoming one bad habit only to replace it with another bad habit. It is saying
no
to a negative habit so that you can say
yes
to a positive habit. Self-control is a gift from God that empowers you to fulfill the will of God. It is what the Holy Spirit does in you when you yield your will to His will.

S
TEPS TO
S
ELF-CONTROL

•
Start with a commitment to truth, admitting the habit God wants you to change.

– Believe: God wants only what is best for you.

– Believe: God has the desire and power to help you.

– Believe: God doesn’t punish you, but disciplines you.

– Believe: God is faithful, perfect, good, and just.

Personalize:
“[My God] is [my] Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he”
(Deuteronomy 32:4).

•
Separate yourself from your sinful habit, writing out what it is costing you.

– Repent (change your thinking) and confess your habit as sinful.

– Realize that yielding to your habit makes you a slave to sin.

– Review the negative consequences of your habit regularly.

– Read and memorize Psalm 1.

Personalize:
“What shall [I] say, then? Shall [I] go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! [I] died to sin; how can [I] live in it any longer?”
(Romans 6:1-2).

•
Set a new goal, picturing yourself establishing the new habit.

– Make it your goal to be empowered by God.

– Make it your goal to please God.

– Make it your goal to depend on God.

– Make it your goal to do the will of God.

Personalize:
“[I] make it [my] goal to please him, whether [I am] at home in the body or away from it. For [I] must…appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that [I] may receive what is due [me] for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad”
(2 Corinthians 5:9-10).