How to Make Her LET GO & GIVE IN: The No-Bullshit Guide to Great Sex (10 page)

So, if you feel insecure around her or around people in general, focus and work more on what’s happening on the inside.

Explore and gain more experiences from the outside world by being social and by continually indulging in activities with other people. In time, it will not be just an act wherein you try to project the right body language from within. When focusing entirely upon outwardly displaying or learning the right body language, you
will
fail in the long run.

Eye Contact

Eye contact is the most effective tool you could possess to draw her into an emotional state of mind. Actually, this is necessary during the whole process and not only while going through this step.

When your eyes meet hers, the conversation gets elevated from a non-personal, casual one to a more meaningful, emotionally charged one. It displays your dominance and your caring side, while also inviting her to keep the interaction going.

Women need this eye contact because they crave emotionally charged conversations. You on the other hand, can hang out with your friends and watch TV or play video games for an hour while talking, without almost never looking into the eyes of your male friends.

She
needs
eye contact to have the feeling of being both heard and seen by you emotionally. The next time you see a group of girls talking, just look at the quantity of eye contact they display compared to you and your buddies.

When having good eye contact, you can really draw her into your world and lead her through a memorable sexual experience. Your eyes magnetize her into the feeling of being in an intimate emotional bubble.

Six Tips to Create an Intimate Bubble

1. Be persistent

This tip is more important when you get that little bit apprehensive of eye contact just because you are wary of the intimacy it creates. If you don’t have a strong connection established,
she
most likely will shy away from eye contact in the beginning, perhaps for the same reason as you. Don’t get discouraged when she’s not immediately making strong eye contact, and don’t worry, if she likes you she will follow. Just give her some time.

2. Don’t stare

Don’t look at her with an intense stare that makes her feel like your eyes are burning through her head. This will come off as disturbing and scary because it feels as if you are imposing something upon her.

Don’t try to dominate her with your stare in hope that she will follow. This will never work. Instead, invite her with warm and intimate gazes that lure her into a sensual dance of the eyes.

3. Don’t overdo it

There is no need to constantly gaze into her eyes. If you do, it would not be a dance. A good dance always has good rhythm, so never look longer than around five seconds into her eyes. If you keep up with that lingering look, she may become uncomfortable or it could turn into staring. Of course, don’t count the seconds in your head because it might come across as unnatural.

4. Don’t look down

The moment where you break eye contact, it’s better to look sideways than down. When looking down, you are giving her a signal of submissiveness. Also, don’t look up because it comes across as you being arrogant and uninterested.

5. Sit sideways

Avoid sitting directly across from one another, if possible, in order to increase comfort levels for both of you. This also makes it easier to look away and gives each of you more options to take small breaks from having constant eye contact, which can sometimes be a little uncomfortable. If you sit straight across, it may also feel more intimidating for her.

6. Signs of interest

While looking at her, pay attention to what her eyes react to. When she finds something interesting or intriguing she will look for your eyes to make eye contact.

2.4
Her Signs

Because of the vagueness of flirting, it might be hard for some men to grasp what it’s all about. When it comes to reading her signs, for most men this difficulty is the same. To reassure you, there are some bulletproof signs that will give you all of the needed information.

Overview

1. Signs of a Spark

To know if she indeed made the shift between her logical and emotional brain.

2. Extras

This section is here to make you understand how to use all of these signs; what to do when she is not displaying the needed signs, and how you can use it to know more about her personality.

Signs of a Spark

It is nice for a woman to deal with a man who picks up subtle signals. In a lot of cases and situations she is just not able to express herself in a direct way that is easy to understand for most men. If you manage to understand her signals, you will no longer be the guy that just doesn’t get it. For this, she will find you far more attractive and it will benefit the communicative aspect of your relationship.

While talking to her, always have this question in the back of your head:
is she doing something that you would like her to do?

To find out the answer, you need to focus on her level of responsiveness. For example, if she doesn’t want to talk to you, she is not doing what you would like her to do.

Only when she’s responding in the right way to this question, can you venture onto the next step and start up the physical transition. If not, it means she’s not that into you or not interested in having sex with you at this time. This doesn’t mean you need to screen for these signs when you think is the end of this phase. No, you need to do this along the way to guarantee a smooth transition.

Eight Signs of a Flirtatious Conversation

Is she playing?

Before, I explained that flirting is very similar to playing fantasy games. So the first thing you should ask yourself is:
is she playing?

This is a very general question, but an important one. If she is giving any of the following signs, you are on the right track:

Make sure to make her laugh, because if you can make a girl laugh, you’re halfway there. If she even laughs at jokes that aren’t really funny, you’re guaranteed in. If she touches you right after a challenge like punching you on the shoulder lightly or tapping your hand or arm, accompanied by “
aah you
,” it means she is having fun.

She is giving you a real smile and not a fake one. She can smile with or without showing teeth, but the real difference can be found in the eyes. A real smile makes her eyes slightly contract, which gives her crowfeet at the outside skin around. A fake smile doesn’t move this skin.

Is she looking for validation?

She wants to please and will qualify herself to you because she is looking for validation. She will do this by slipping into her cute girl role and hopes that you will find her desirable. She may give signs like these in general life by taking care of you, buying you presents, cooking food for you, etc.

You can also recognize this while having a flirtatious conversation by giving her a challenge if:

- She submits by acting like a cute, defenceless girl.

- She elaborates her answers to impress you in a way she thinks you will approve.

- She is fishing for compliments: “
You like my haircut?
New dress?”

- She offers to do things for you: asks you what you like to eat, wants to take the bus to see you, etc.

Is she challenging you?

When she does this, it means she is screening to see if you are the right guy for her current motive. She could be screening you for a casual one-night-stand or perhaps she is checking to see if you are still her right guy after a 5-year relationship. Either way, she will always challenge you, even if she herself is not aware of it. She does this to be reassured her man can handle her and is still in a dominant position. Take it as a compliment when she does, it means she’s into you!

Does she reciprocate your touch?

Some girls are more likely to touch you than others. So, being touched by a girl is not a very clear sign. Instead look at how she reacts when you touch her. When she doesn’t react tellingly to light physical touches, it means she is comfortable with you. On the other hand, if she retracts, for example, her leg when it’s touching yours, it means she is giving you a signal that she’s not aroused or interested in you.

Also when you touch her, be the first to stop the physical contact. This way she will be missing something she wants to have back. It will also prevent you from making her feel uncomfortable because she does not feel pressured that you want something from her.

Is she mirroring your body language?

Mirroring your body language is a very clear sign as it's one of the only signs that happen in an unconscious manner. A good way to see this, is to breathe slowly while talking to her. If she mimics the same pace as you, you’re on the right track.

Is she pointing her feet at you?

This is a really easy one to spot. Just look at her feet when she’s standing in front of you. When both her feet are turned towards you, it means she’s interested. But when one foot is pointed away from you, it means she’d rather be somewhere else.

Are her hands and arms open or closed?

When her hands are open and facing you, she wants to be touched. If her arms are open, it means she is enjoying your company. If they are closed, you did not create a spark or it may also mean she’s just feeling cold. It’s also possible that one arm is closed and the other open. This is a sign of feeling uncomfortable or insecurity.

Are her pupils dilated?

When her pupils are dilated, it means the spark is there. When they are small, it means she is in a negative state of mind. But watch out: her pupils will also dilate when it’s dark, so it’s better to use this one during the day.

Extras

When She’s Not Interested

It’s possible that you checked some of the above signs and noticed she’s not
yet
into a sexual, emotional state of mind. When this happens, do not try to make her more interested by doing the same as you were doing before. Trying too hard puts you into a submissive position. The only option you have left is to change your behaviour.

When she is giving you signs of disinterest, react by
reciprocating
this to her. Does this technique always work? No, it doesn’t always guarantee she'll become more interested. However it
may
create sexual tension because she’s not getting your attention anymore. Only when she feels that she has lost something, will the sexual tension rise again because she wants it back.

If this doesn’t work, the best thing to do is to walk away with your head held high without looking back. At least you will not lose your own respect.

Right Way to Read Her Signs

The previous list might seem long and a big challenge to memorize and practice in real life. But don’t worry, you do not need to simultaneously screen for all of these signs. Just pick a few that you think will suit you best and only focus on these. After a while, you will get the hang of things and only then can you add-in some new signs to focus on.

Actually, you are already screening her for these signs all the time. You just don’t know this because you are doing this with your unconscious mind. Therefore, you are already an expert because you’ve been doing this your whole life. But only by practising how to recognize some of these signs, will you bring this screening process to your conscious mind and this will create a much greater awareness.

Furthermore, look at these signs from a broader perspective. Don’t worry too much when she’s giving you signs of not being interested from time to time, if her arms are closed for a few seconds, or if her feet are not constantly pointed at you. This will take away the joy of a moment. It will make you insecure and makes you think you need to do something to regain her attention, which is a wrong and validating response. Just relax, look at the bigger picture and you’ll be fine.

Reading Her Personality

When you are able to read these signs, you will truly get a deeper understanding of her emotional side. It’s not only good to read her signs for sexual purposes, but also to understand her personality. To figure these things out, throw in some remarks about subjects you'd like to know more about. Look at how her body reacts when she talks about her family, past boyfriends, things she likes or doesn’t like; this will give you a lot of information to see if she is the right girl for you.

Step 2
Conclusion

You may have experienced an encounter that seemed to be going somewhere many times in the past. You got all of the right signals from her and the chemistry was off the charts. Then, just at the point when things were supposed to get interesting, somehow it all fizzled out. What could have gone wrong?

There's never a perfect formula for these things. The flirting, the personal contact through intimate physical touch, your body language. At times you may find that the blend of all three isn’t working in any level. You still can't seem to make the girl you really want, completely give in to you.