How to Make Love All Night (and Drive Your Woman Wild) (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) (30 page)

Once you have completed these peaks, switch positions.

Your partner should now be lying on her back with her legs in the air, slightly bent. You are going to insert your penis and start some slow, comfortable thrusting. Taking plenty of time, peak up to Level 7, then back off. Next, peak up to Level 8, then back off. Now peak up to Level 9, then back off.

Finally, thrust all the way up to your point of inevitability.

But this time, the moment you reach the point of inevitability, both you
and
your partner should
stop thrusting
. Keep taking deep breaths, open your eyes, focus all of your attention on your genitals, and try to
feel
the semen moving from your testicles, to the base of your penis, and up through the urethra.

Could you feel the semen collecting? Did you feel your PC spasm? If you stopped thrusting in time, your two-second ejaculation probably felt as if it took five to ten seconds.

140 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

Most men thrust all the way through orgasm when they are having intercourse. It would never occur to the average man that there could be benefits to stopping. That should make this exercise a novel experience for most of you. Many men tell me this exercise gives them the feeling that they are in an altered state of consciousness. It is very normal to feel a little bit spacy, transcendent, or out of your body.

Your partner’s feedback can also be very helpful here. If she felt that your ejaculation had more throbs than usual, or that it went on for a few more seconds than usual, ask her to let you know. What did it feel like to her? For most women, this exercise is a real turn-on.

Once you have successfully completed this exercise, you’re going to have a very different understanding of your own ejaculation. The first thing you’re going to notice is how much time you have between your perceived point of no return and the actual expulsion stage of your ejaculation.

Time to make a few phone calls, pay a few bills…well…more time than you thought. You should also see that you have lots of time to squeeze your PC muscle and pull back from the brink of ejaculation if you choose to. Your ejaculation may
feel
inevitable once you’ve reached your point of no return, but you actually would have plenty of time to stop it if you wanted.

This new understanding of your ejaculation process should give you more confidence in your ability to control your physiology, even at very intense levels of arousal. Hopefully, this confidence

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will minimize any tendency to panic during Step 2. But before we get to that, here’s an exercise to help you learn ejaculation awareness without the help of a partner.

Exercise 16: The Longest Yard (solo)

Lie down on your back and get very comfortable (or sit in a comfortable chair). This exercise begins like a peaking exercise. Using plenty of lubrication, begin stroking your penis and experiencing your arousal. Peak at Level 4, then let your arousal drop two levels. Now peak at Level 6, then let your arousal drop off. Take plenty of time. Each peak should take at least three minutes. Resume your stroking and peak at Level 8. Once again, allow your arousal to drop off two levels before intensifying the stimulation. Peak at Level 9. Remember to breathe deeply as you let your arousal drop off once more.

Intensify your stimulation and let your arousal rise all the way to your point of inevitability.
Now stop stroking
. Open your eyes and focus all of your attention on your genitals.

Breathe deeply and regularly as you begin to ejaculate. Can you feel the semen collecting at the base of your penis? Can you feel it when the PC muscle begins to spasm? Can you feel the semen as it moves up through the penis? If you stopped stroking at the right time, your two-second ejaculation should
feel
as though it lasted at least five or six seconds, if not longer. As I mentioned in the previous exercise, feelings of spaciness or altered consciousness are very common when practicing this technique.

142 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

Step 2: The Keys to the Kingdom

Now that you have a little bit of ejaculation awareness under your belt, so to speak, you are ready for the coup de grace.

The following two exercises are my absolute favorite ways to teach men how to have multiple orgasms. If you found the one-shot technique to be awkward, problematic, or less than satisfactory in any way—as some men do—these are the exercises for you. I love these exercises and the way that my clients respond to them. Frankly, I’ve never met a man who didn’t share my enthusiasm once he followed all of my instructions and suggestions.

Exercise 17 is for a couple to do together, and Exercise 18

is for the man who would prefer to learn on his own. You have worked long and hard to get to this point. Today, a whole new world awaits. Your deepest fantasies are about to come true. It’s time for the big payoff. The keys to the kingdom will soon be yours. Are there any cliches I’ve left out? I don’t think so. It’s time for us to get to work.

Exercise 17: The Big Takeoff (with a partner) You are going to need a full hour to do this exercise. If there’s one exercise you don’t want to rush, believe me, it’s this one.

The exercise begins with the man lying on his back, receiving a sensate focus genital caress from his partner. Focus on how good

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your partner’s caress feels as your arousal level begins to rise. Your partner should be focused on touching you, and how sensual that feels to her.

The first thing you are going to do is peak at Level 4, then let your arousal drop two levels. Take your time; both of you should be enjoying all the sensations. Next, do a peak at Level 5 and drop back down. Follow this with a peak at Level 6. Each peak should take at least three or four minutes. Once you have dropped down a bit from Level 6, you are ready to switch positions.

Your partner should lie on her back with her legs up and her knees bent. You want to be on your knees, with most of your weight being supported by your legs. You are going to do a series of peaks while having intercourse with your partner,
but these peaks are going to be very different
from any peaks you’ve done before. From this point forward you’re going to be doing a series of really fast, intense peaks using vigorous thrusting. And you’re going to be doing a lot of concentrated, powerful squeezing with your PC muscle.

You’re not going to take a lot of time in between peaks here.

This is a sprinting exercise, and it’s going to be very intense.

Begin by inserting your penis into your partner and gently thrusting. Pick up speed quickly. Now thrust as hard as you can until your arousal hits Level 8.
Stop thrusting and squeeze
your PC muscle really hard. Your partner should stop thrusting
too. Take a deep breath and open your eyes
. Let your arousal drop a level.

144 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: This exercise works best when your partner’s experience mirrors yours. This does not require any acting skills. This exercise should be just as intense for her as it is for you, and it is important that she feels free to express that. There is only one catch. No matter how much she wants to keep going,
the moment you stop thrusting, she must stop moving too
.

Once you’ve dropped a level, start doing some relaxed, easy thrusting. Try to change the angle of entry slightly so that your penis is pointing up higher into your partner. As soon as you’ve mobilized enough energy, start thrusting as fast and hard as you can. When you reach Level 8.5,
stop
thrusting and squeeze your PC muscle really hard
. Your partner should stop thrusting too.
Take a deep breath and open your
eyes
. Let yourself drop a level.

As soon as you have your energy back, you want to take off again for another sprint up the hill. Try to point your penis even higher this time. Thrust as hard and as fast as you can all the way to Level 9. Then
stop thrusting and squeeze your
PC as hard as you can
. Your partner should stop too.
Take a
deep breath and open your eyes
. Back off a level.

This is where it’s going to start getting really interesting.

Once again, you want to slightly increase your “angle of at-tack.” By the time this exercise is done, your penis is going to be entering your partner at almost a
ninety-degree
angle!

Are you ready? This time, you’re going to thrust your way to
Level 9.5

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before you stop and squeeze your PC. Remember that the higher your arousal level, the harder you have to squeeze and the deeper you need to breathe.

Drop a level and collect your strength. Ready? This time, you’re aiming for
Level 9.75!
Point your penis even higher than the last time. Now thrust as fast as you can until you hit your peak. Then stop thrusting, squeeze your PC as hard as you can, take a deep, deep breath, and open your eyes.

Your partner should stop moving
the moment
you stop. Any extra motion right now could cause you to ejaculate before you want to.

Your final peak is going to be at Level 9.9…your point of inevitability. This is the big one. Don’t panic. Remember how much time you have between the point of inevitability and the expulsion phase of your ejaculation. Your penis should now be pointed as high as it can go. Start your sprint. Thrust as hard and as fast as you can all the way up to your point of inevitability.
Now stop thrusting! Slam on your PC muscle—

give it everything you’ve got.
Take a huge breath. Open your
eyes
. Now try to hold that PC squeeze for at least five to ten seconds.

Right now, your body should be going into orgasm. Your heart is pounding, your muscles are contracting, and you’re probably sweating—
but you did not ejaculate!
You have just had an orgasm without ejaculation.

What you want to do now is back off and rest a little bit by starting some really slow, easy thrusting. The slow, sensate-focus thrusting will help you maintain your erection.

Give your partner lots of kisses for being so wonderful. But remember, it’s not over yet. One down, one to go.

146 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: After your first orgasm, your erection may go down temporarily. On a hardness scale of one to ten, it could drop as low as five. That is why you need to resume thrusting as soon as possible to bring yourself back “up” to speed.

Once you’re both rested and ready, it’s time to head for the home stretch. Start by intensifying your thrusting. Let your arousal level rise. But this time,
don’t try to stop
. Pass Level 8. Keep thrusting. Pass Level 9. Keep thrusting. Thrust all the way through your point of no return. Pass GO. Collect $200. Let yourself have a full, fabulous orgasm, complete with ejaculation and eighty-piece orchestra accompaniment.

Congratulations! You have just had a multiple orgasm
. And boy, do you deserve it.

This exercise is called “The Big Takeoff” because it reminds me of the way airplanes take off at John Wayne International Airport in Orange County, California. To cut noise pollution on takeoff, the pilot angles the plane up really high, accelerates really fast, then cuts the engines. Your final peak at Level 9.9 should feel the same way. Your penis is angled up as high as it can go, you are thrusting as fast as you can, then suddenly you use your PC muscle to “cut the engines.” Get the picture?

There is another image that helps my clients learn and remember this exercise. When you are doing this exercise, think of yourself running up a hill as fast as you can until you reach a sign that says “Level 8.” You hit the brakes and catch your breath.

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Maybe you slide back down the hill a little bit to the sign that says “Level 7.” When you reach that sign, you start sprinting again. This time, you sprint all the way to the sign that says “Level 8.5” You hit the brakes again, catch your breath, and slide back down one level. These sprints continue to Level 9 and Level 9.5. Your last sprint is to the sign that says “Level 9.9: NO TRESPASSING BEYOND THIS POINT.”

Now this sign is just inches from the top of the hill, and beyond that is a steep drop to the bottom. So this time, you sprint as fast as you can up to the sign and hit your breaks really hard because you don’t want to go over that hill. But even though your feet are firmly planted at the sign, your emotional momentum still makes you feel as though you’ve gone over the top, and you experience all the sensations of falling without actually falling.

These two images—the noise abatement takeoff and hill-side sprints—should help you get your motion and your angles right at the crucial points in this exercise. If you already have an image of your own, use it by all means. I just find these two particular images extremely helpful when someone is learning these techniques for the first time. Some clients tell me that years after they have learned these techniques they still get a little misty eyed every time they fly out of John Wayne International Airport.

For the Do-It-Yourselfer

Some day, there will be an old saying, “You don’t have to have a partner to have a multiple orgasm.” Today, you just have to take my word for it. The following method is the one I use most often to teach

148 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

men how to have a multiple orgasm without a partner. Even if you have a partner to learn with, practicing on your own always accelerates the learning process. This is a particularly good exercise to practice various techniques and hone your control. Most men wind up slipping in at least a few private practice sessions when they are first learning these methods.

There’s a lot to learn in the beginning, and men tell me that practicing on their own helps build their confidence.

Exercise 18: Two-Time Champion (solo)

Lie down and get very comfortable, or sit in a comfortable chair. Take some lubrication and begin stroking your penis with a sensate focus genital caress. We’re going to start by doing some nice, slow low-level peaks. I recommend doing one or two Level 4 peaks, followed by a Level 5 peak and a Level 6 peak. Each peak should last at least three or four minutes.