How to Make Love All Night (and Drive Your Woman Wild) (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) (32 page)

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Maybe you don’t want to ejaculate the second time either, so you can have a third orgasm…or even a fourth orgasm!

Why not? You’ve earned it. From now on, here is your new mantra: Stretch, stretch, stretch. Start experimenting too. Be creative and be ambitious. Now that you know what to do, you’re in control. Just keep in mind that you always have your tried and true starter kit exercises to fall back on should you lose your way. Experiment with your timing. Experiment with your techniques, with your pacing, and with your positions. But before you do anything,
get your partner’s input
.

What does she want right now? What are her fantasies? What are her needs? Where does she want to go from here? Let her answers be your guide.

Male multiple orgasm is a magical thing. Magical for you, magical for your partner, and magical for the relationship.

The hardest work is now behind you, and the future is full of possibilities. Just remember that wherever you decide to go from here, the most important thing for both of you is to
enjoy yourselves
.

C H A P T E R T W E L V E

SUCCESS!

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I
would like to end this book by introducing you to four more multiorgasmic men. All of these men have recently learned the very same techniques you are now practicing.

Each man has a slightly different story to tell, and every story is well worth telling. While each of these men started with a different motivation, a different understanding of male sexuality, a different attitude, and a different physiology, they all had the same goal: male multiple orgasm. Having now achieved that goal, they all were eager to share their experiences with you, the reader. Some of them even had advice they wanted to offer.

Stephen’s Story

Like many men who are interested in learning how to become multiorgasmic, Stephen’s motivation was a natural outgrowth of his pleasure orientation. When we first met, he gave me the following information about himself:

“I believe there is so much pleasure to get out of every single aspect of life. No matter what it is I’m doing—skiing, biking, painting, even working—I’m always trying to find the pleasure zone and stretch my experience in that zone. To me, that’s what life is all about. Of course, I’ve always tried to do the same thing with sex. I’m always experimenting with different techniques, always trying to expand ‘the zone.’

Don’t get me wrong—it’s not an obsession or anything like that. I just have a very strong internal drive, coupled with unending curiosity and a willingness to try new things.

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“That’s why I was so drawn to the idea of male multiple orgasm. The whole concept felt like such a natural extension of my attitude and my life. I still remember my reaction the first time I heard that such a thing existed. I was listening to some sexologist on the radio talking about the original Kinsey findings. It was a pretty boring discussion, until he mentioned the part about multiorgasmic men. Suddenly, a big smile broke across my face, and I said to my girlfriend, ‘Now that sounds like it should be me.’”

Stephen’s goal when he started working with me at the clinic was to learn how he could stay inside his partner’s vagina at very high arousal levels for as long as possible. He told me that he didn’t want “just any old multiple orgasm.”

He was looking for an experience of maximum intensity.

That really made me laugh, since I tend to think of almost every multiple orgasm as a pretty intense experience.

This is how Stephen summed up his learning process:

“After mastering the initial exercises, it wasn’t long before I learned how to maintain my erection and my arousal after my first orgasm. At first, I wasn’t always able to stop myself from ejaculating. This didn’t surprise me. After all, I’ve been ejaculating during orgasm for a lot of years and my body has to be pretty used to that path.…I didn’t expect to get total control overnight.

“Even if I ejaculated I would try to continue thrusting for as long as possible. Dina, my partner, was extremely helpful during those times. She never judged me, never criticized me, and most

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important, never tried to stop me. She just let me do whatever I could do. I was determined to get the hang of this one way or the other, but her generous attitude really helped.

“Soon I was able to have a second orgasm within two or three minutes of my first. But that was just the beginning.

Once I knew I could keep my erection and keep going, I really started to push ‘the zone.’ Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen, twenty.…I find that now I can even let myself ejaculate during my first orgasm without losing my erection, and I still have a second, partial ejaculation with my second orgasm. That, to me, is amazing.

“The key, I have discovered, has been to focus everything on the sensation of moving in and out of my partner’s body.

That’s where the sensate focus exercises really paid off. When Dina is wet from my first ejaculation, the experience is even more intense. I guess that’s what helps make the ‘impossible’

now possible.”

Alex’s Story

When Alex was a teenager, he was able to have multiple orgasms with many of the women with whom he was having sex. He was very self-assured, and really loved having sex.

As he got older, however, he lost his multiorgasmic ability.

He also lost a lot of his sexual confidence.

Alex came to my office with his wife Paula. They had been married for six years. While they assured me that many aspects of their sex life were very rewarding, they also acknow-ledged that there were areas that needed work.

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During this first visit, Alex expressed a very powerful desire to enhance and control his sexual response, and to recap-ture the magic of his teenage years. Paula’s greatest concern was Alex’s lack of confidence, but she was also intrigued by the idea of male multiple orgasm, and had no trouble imagining the possible benefits for both of them.

Alex started his relearning process by strengthening his PC muscle. He then began doing peaking and plateauing exercises with Paula during intercourse. Here is how he recalled his initial sessions with Paula practicing these new techniques:

“During intercourse with Paula I would squeeze my PC

at each peak, all the way up to the point of inevitability. At that point, I would have what I would call a ‘60-percent orgasm’ along with a partial ejaculation. I was able to maintain my erection, and continue having intercourse with Paula, which was good. But frankly, it didn’t
feel
that good. It actually felt kind of funny—weird funny—and at that point I was skeptical.”

After talking to Alex and Paula about these initial experiences, I realized that Alex had not been highly successful his first few times. I felt that Alex needed to back up a bit and slow his process down. Instead of pushing him to keep practicing the techniques he was already using, I encouraged him to do more awareness exercises.

As a couple, I thought Alex and Paula would benefit from more practice doing sensate focus caresses. And I suspected that Alex would also benefit from focusing more on the process of creating and maintaining plateaus at higher and higher levels. I suggested he practice his plateaus alone at first

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to keep some of the pressure off. That helped a lot, as Alex illustrates:

“I started to practice by myself, doing plateaus at Level 8, 8.5, 9, and 9.5. At the point of inevitability I would focus intently on my groin and the sensation of thrusting. At this point, I had a sense of an extremely prolonged orgasm—maybe ten to twelve seconds, compared to my usual three to four seconds. I would be sweating like they do in the movies and my heart would be pounding. That was a very new experience for me, and it was very intense. I remember that at the time I was thinking to myself, ‘You may be on to something here.’

“Then I tried doing the squeeze again during intercourse with Paula. The first three times I tried, I only had a ‘50-percent orgasm,’ but unlike the previous times, I was no longer ejaculating. Something about my body was definitely changing, and I felt really encouraged.”

At this point in the training process I decided it was time to introduce Alex and Paula to my favorite exercise: “The Big Takeoff.” Alex recalls:

“Learning the new exercise was the final turning point for us. The
very first time
Paula and I tried this, I had two ‘100-percent orgasms’ within seven minutes of each other. Paula also had an extraordinary orgasm. Success!

“At first, it was easier to have my second orgasm outside of Paula’s vagina. Once she felt satisfied, we would stop having intercourse and she would masturbate me to my climax with her hands. That was fine for a while, but eventually I became comfortable staying inside her for my second climax. Of course, that felt better for her
and
for me.

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“I cannot overstate what becoming multiorgasmic again has done for me. Within less than two months I went from being extremely uncertain about the whole thing to being able to have two ‘100-percent orgasms’—one without an ejaculation and one with—whenever I chose to do so. Becoming multiorgasmic has given me back my sexual confidence, and a sense of myself that is hard to put in words. Paula teases me about it all the time. She says that I’m a different person—a person she wants to have sex with a lot more often.”

Charles’s Story

Charles competes every year in a number of marathons and biathlons. Being a serious athlete, he was prepared to build up his techniques the same way an athlete would build up endurance for a marathon or other sporting event. Charles knew his body well enough to know that if he was patient, he could train himself to have a multiorgasmic response almost automatically. Here’s what he had to say:

“I love sex, and my wife and I have great fun together in bed, but there is a part of me that takes sex very seriously. I have pushed my body hard through all kinds of rigorous athletic training programs, and it has always paid off in the end. Intuitively, I knew that it wouldn’t be any different for something like male multiple orgasm. You put yourself through your paces, you get the result.

“My strategy was to do an exercise and learn a technique by myself, then try the same technique in a session with my wife. The sessions with my wife

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were strictly for our pleasure. I did the hard work by myself.”

Charles was anxious to get started, yet he progressed through his training slowly and methodically—the mark of an athlete who takes his work seriously. He explains:

“I exercised my PC muscle a lot, but I never overdid it; I knew it would only be a matter of time before everything kicked in. People push too hard when they don’t know their bodies. But serious athletes have learned the rewards of pacing themselves. Why should it be any different with these exercises?”

Did Charle’s patience and hard work pay off? I’ll let him tell you:

“It has been almost a year now since I started to learn these techniques, and the results have been extraordinary. Compared to other exercise regimens of mine, this one was a snap.

I never needed to learn the ‘windsprint’ technique. All I had to do was practice my peaking, plateauing, and PC control and everything else unfolded effortlessly. I couldn’t really tell you why I didn’t need the final exercises. My body just found a different way.”

There are many paths to the top of the mountain, and clearly, Charles found his. The goal here is male multiple orgasm, and as far as I’m concerned, whatever works, works.

Not surprisingly, it’s still working for Charles:

“When a marathon is over, it’s over, but when you’re multiorgasmic, it never ends. I am becoming more and more orgasmic all the time, even though I don’t even try anymore.

I have had as many as five orgasms during one session of intercourse with my

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wife. You know what the odd part is? It’s as though I’ve suddenly discovered that my body is naturally multiorgasmic. I never knew it because I didn’t even know that such a thing existed. But now it feels like it’s who I am, and who I always was.

“My wife says that knowing me and knowing how determined I can be, she’s not entirely surprised by my success, though she certainly is pleased. She thinks this all happened so easily for me because I’m so driven, but I think that’s only half of the story. I really wonder how many men are probably just like me, with this ‘natural’ ability just sitting there, waiting to be tapped.”

Frederick’s Story

Finally, I’d like you to meet Frederick. Frederick is a structur-al engineer who told me that his desire to learn about male multiple orgasm was driven by “an engineer’s fascination with how his body works.” Men like Frederick are so methodical and scientific in their style of approach that from the very beginning their success seems inevitable.

To train his body to respond the way he envisioned it could, Frederick invented his own style of “riding the 9’s.”

He learned to plateau at Level 9 for a full ten minutes, using a combination of breathing, PC contractions, and varying the speed of his thrusting. You learned to create plateaus like this in chapter 7, but you probably didn’t imagine you could ride high-level plateaus all the way to orgasm. Well, Frederick did, and he liked the results so much that he stuck with it, creating his own personal style of climaxing.

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Riding a wave like this at very high levels is different from the more aggressive techniques you learned in chapter 10.

Instead of pushing yourself to the point of orgasm, you almost fall over into orgasm after plateauing for long intervals at very high levels. As I briefly mentioned earlier in the book, this type of approach most closely resembles the way many women have multiple orgasms.

Not surprisingly, Frederick had a lot to say about his process: