How to Make Love All Night (and Drive Your Woman Wild) (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) (33 page)

“I did most of my training by myself. I was able to bring myself to multiple orgasm before I tried doing it with a partner. If I can be frank here, I’ve always felt that masturbation is essential if you’re going to learn your own personal response. I know that some people might be uncomfortable with this, but personally, I think they are getting in the way of their own progress and their own pleasure.

“If you’re like me, the kind of guy who can get pretty obsessed with mastering something like this, I don’t think it’s fair to ask your partner to work with you every single time you want to practice these techniques. Sometimes? Yes. But not every single time. Still, that practice is important—at least it was for me. I couldn’t imagine learning to have the kind of control I now have if I didn’t spend a lot of time working on this alone.”

Frederick has learned to have as many as
four
orgasms before he ejaculates. His final words on the subject should be an inspiration to every man:

“You can’t fail! If you do the work, you simply cannot fail!

Every exercise is a stepping stone closer to the goal. Each one, no matter how it feels, is a learning experience. Sometimes it works, sometimes

172 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

it doesn’t, and sometimes you don’t know whether it did or it didn’t. That can be a little weird, but your body keeps changing; it keeps adjusting and adapting. The most important thing is to keep a positive attitude all the time and just keep going. And keep working that PC muscle! A strong PC

muscle is a requirement for success!”

Your Story

So there you have it. Four very different men, four very different experiences, yet every one is a success story.

So what about you? What’s your story? I want to know.

Why did you decide to learn about male multiple orgasm?

What has the learning experience been like for you? What was easy? What was challenging? Now that you have completed all of the exercises, what does it feel like to be a multiorgasmic man? How has your body changed? How has your sense of yourself changed? If you are in a relationship, how has that changed? What has been your partner’s experience of this process? What advice do you have for other men who are interested in learning these techniques? I’m really interested in your input. Let me know by writing to me care of the publisher.

A P P E N D I X O N E

INTERESTING THINGS TO

READ WHEN YOU’RE

NOT HAVING SEX

Anand, M. (1989).
The Art of Sexual Ecstasy
. Los Angeles, CA: Jeremy P. Tarcher, Inc. Interesting “ecstasy” exercises for men, women, and couples.

Barbach, L. (1975).
For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female
Sexuality
. New York: Doubleday and Company. For the ladies, and the men who love them, this book focuses on increased orgasmic response for women.

Brauer, A., and Brauer, D. (1983).
ESO
(extended sexual orgasm). New York: Warner Books. Packed with orgasm-enhancement exercises for men and women. Interesting to read and fun to try.

Carter, S., and Sokol, J. (1988).
What Really Happens in Bed
.

New York: Evans. A solid, sane look at sexual fears, sexual fantasies, and sexual realities. Smart, smart, smart.

Danoff, D. (1993).
Superpotency
. New York: Warner Books.

Helpful for men who are trying to develop a more positive attitude about their sexuality.

Dunn, M., and Trost, J. (1989). Male multiple orgasms: A descriptive study.
Archives of Sexual Behavior
18(5), 377–387.

One of the more important journal articles concerning the existence of male multiple orgasm and non-ejaculatory orgasm. A must-read for any doubting Thomas.

173

174 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

Eichel, E., and Nobile, P. (1991).
The Perfect Fit: How to Achieve
Mutual Fulfillment and Monogamous Passion Through the New
Intercourse
. New York: Donald I. Fine. The title says it all.

Hartman, W., and Fithian, M. (1984).
Any Man Can
. New York: St. Martin’s Press. One of the first books to discuss male multiple orgasm in depth and offer possible means of achieving it.

Keesling, B. (1993).
Sexual Pleasure
. Alameda, CA: Hunter House. One of my personal favorites (surprise, surprise). If you’re having real trouble with your ejaculatory control, check out the exercises in this book. There’s lots in here for women as well.

Kennedy, A., and Dean, S. (1986).
Touching for Pleasure—A
Guide to Sensual Enhancement
. Chatsworth, CA: Chatsworth Press. A book that focuses on touching—I think that’s important.

Kinsey, A., Pomeroy, W., and Martin, C. (1948).
Sexual Behavior in the Human Male
. Philadelphia: W. B. Saunders Company. The classic study that redefined our understanding of male sexuality. A must for every library.

Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J. (1982).
The G Spot and
Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality
. New York: Dell Publishing Co., Inc. Still controversial after over a dec-ade—the debate rages on.

Montagu, A. (1986, 3rd edition).
Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin
. New York: Harper & Row. Sensitive, sensuous, and helpful reading.

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ALL NIGHT / 175

Penney, A. (1993).
How to Make Love to a Man (Safely)
. New York: Carol Southern Books. An easy, smart read that has something for women
and
men. It’s the nineties, and sex is no good unless it’s safe.

Ramsdale, D., and Ramsdale, E. (1990, 9th printing).
Sexual
Energy Ecstasy: A Practical Guide to Lovemaking Secrets of the
East and West
. Playa del Rey, CA: Peak Skill Publishing. Very advanced ideas and techniques for the curious and the motivated.

Robbins, M., and Jensey, G. (1978). Multiple orgasm in males.

The Journal of Sex Research
14(1), 21–26. One of the earliest studies suggesting that men could
learn
to have nonejaculatory orgasms and multiple orgasms. Check it out.

Schwartz, B. (1989).
The One Hour Orgasm
. Houston, TX: Breakthru Publishing. Why rush a good thing? Valuable exercises are included.

Thornton, J. (1992). Multiple orgasm.
Self
, May 1992, pp.

158–161. An important magazine piece for those who don’t like struggling through professional journals.

Zilbergeld, B. (1992).
The New Male Sexuality
. New York: Bantam Books. Another classic that helps take men out of the sexual dark ages.

A P P E N D I X T W O

MALE SEXUAL ORGANS

Male sexuality anatomy—relevant to ejaculation. I have left 176

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ALL NIGHT / 177

out several major organs in order to simplify the ejaculatory system.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

There are many people I would like to thank.

First, I wish to thank my colleagues, Anita Banker and Michael Riskin, for helping develop many of these techniques.

I would like to thank my agent, Barbara Lowenstein, for recognizing the value of this project.

I wish to thank my editor, Susan Moldow, and her staff, Nancy Peske and Wendy Silbert, for their very conscientious work on this book.

I would especially like to thank my clients who tried out these techniques and gave me their invaluable feedback.

Finally, I would like to thank my husband, John, for his computer work, his feedback on the manuscript, and his support.

178

About the Author

Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., is the author of
Super Sexual Orgasm
(published by HarperPerennial as
Discover Your Sensual Potential
) and
How to Make Love All Night (And Drive a Woman
Wild)
—both titles are available from PerfectBound e-books.

Dr. Keesling is also the author of, among other works,
The
Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl’s Sex
;
Rx Sex: Making Love Is the
Best Medicine
;
How to Talk Sexy to the One You Love (And Drive
Each Other Wild in Bed)
; and
Sexual Pleasure: Reaching New
Heights of Sexual Arousal & Intimacy
. She has taught human sexuality and psychopathology at several southern California universities.

CREDITS

Cover design and John Lewis

Cover image © Zefa Zeitgeist / Photonica
Selected Works by Barbara

Keesling, Ph.D.

The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl’s Sex
How to Make Love All Night (And Drive a Woman Wild)
How to Talk Sexy to the One You Love (And Drive Each Other
Wild in Bed)

Rx Sex: Making Love Is the Best Medicine
Sexual Pleasure: Reaching New Heights of Sexual Arousal &
Intimacy

Super Sexual Orgasm: A Woman’s Guide to Guaranteed
Satisfaction*

*Published by HarperPerennial as Discover Your Sensual Potential
A hardcover edition of this book was published in 1994 by HarperCollins Publishers.

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ALL NIGHT (AND DRIVE A

WOMAN WILD). Copyright © 1994 by Barbara Keesling, Ph.D. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of PerfectBound™.

PerfectBound™ and the PerfectBound™ logo are trademarks of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Adobe Acrobat eBook Reader June 2003 ISBN 0-06-058449-1

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http://www.perfectbound.com

• How to Make Love All Night
  
  • Front Cover
    
  • Title Page
    
  • Copyright
    
  • Table Of Contents
    
  • Introduction
    
  • Chapters
    
    • Chapter One
      
      • Making Fantasy A Reality
        
        • What Makes Me Such An Expert?
          
        • I Know What Men Can Do And I Know What Women Want
          
        • Can We Talk?
          
        • Two Men Who Changed My Understanding Of Male Sexuality
          
        • Are You Ready For A Change Too?
          
        • Was That A Smile I Just Saw?
          
        • Why Are You Reading This Book?
          
        • Four Typical Men Who Want To Learn About Male Multiple Orgasm
          
    • Chapter Two
      
      • Meet Your Penis
        
        • A Penis Is A Terrible Thing To Waste
          
        • Aren’t You Tired Of Having Sex With A Stranger?
          
        • Does Your Penis Have A Mind Of Its Own?
          
        • Your New Best Friend
          
        • A Man Who Controls His Penis Is A Man In Demand
          
        • An Important Anatomy Lesson
          
        • Power To The Pc
          
        • Just A Few Minutes A Day
          
        • Get Ready, Get Set…
          
    • Chapter Three
      
      • Talking To Your Partner About Male Multiple Orgasm
        
        • Male Multiple Orgasm Should Bring A Couple Together
          
        • Did Your Partner Give You This Book?
          
        • To The Women Reading This Book
          
        • How To Use The Rest Of This Book
          
        • Keep Your Sex Safe!
          
    • Chapter Four
      
      • The Complete Pc Workout
        
        • Exercise 1: Hide And Seek
          
        • Exercise 2: Squeeze Play (three To Five Minutes A Day)
          
        • Exercise 3: The Big Squeeze (two To Three Minutes A Day)
          
        • Meet Early And Meet Often
          
    • Chapter Five
      
      • Male Multiple Orgasm—the Secret Revealed
        
        • Male Multiple Orgasm: My Definition
          
        • Meet James, A Multiorgasmic Man
          
        • Alan’s Story
          
        • The Multiorgasmic Male: Some Variations On A Theme
          
        • Bob Can Ejaculate More Than Once Without Losing His Erection
          
        • John’s Pattern Resembles Many Women’s Experience
          
        • Four “a” Students
          
        • “i Want To Believe This, But…”
          
        • A Quick History Lesson
          
        • “are You Sure There Isn’t A Catch?”
          
        • —
          
        • 27
          
        • —
          
    • Chapter Six
      
      • Learning To Touch, Learning To Feel
        
        • What Exactly Is Sensate Focus?
          
        • Sensate Focus Takes You Into Your Body
          
        • Play By The Rules
          
        • Preparing For The Exercises
          
        • Learning The Genital Caress
          
        • Exercise 4: Touch Of Heaven (with A Partner)
          
        • Exercise 5: Alone At Last (solo)
          
        • It Sure Feels Good, But…
          
    • Chapter Seven
      
      • Aroused And Aware
        
        • How Aroused Are You?
          
        • Learning The Scales
          
        • Practice Makes Perfect
          
        • What About Your Erection?
          
        • How To Peak
          
        • Exercise 6: Climbing Everest (solo)
          
        • Exercise 7: Twin Peaks (with A Partner)
          
        • Onward And Upward?
          
    • Chapter Eight
      
      • Orgasm, Ejaculation, And You
        
        • Peaking With The Pc Muscle
          
        • Exercise 8: King Of The Road (solo)
          
        • Exercise 9: Moonlight Drive (with A Partner)
          
        • A Position To Envy
          
        • Exercise 10: Enter The Dragon (with A Partner)
          
    • Chapter Nine
      
      • From Peaks To Plateaus
        
        • Exercise 11: Bronco Buster (solo)
          
        • Exercise 12: Endless Summer (with A Partner)
          
        • Student Driver On Board
          
        • Feel Like Makin’ Love?
          
    • Chapter Ten
      
      • Your First Multiple Orgasm
        
        • Two Ways To The Top
          
        • Fairy Tales Can Come True (or, The Tortoise And The Hare Revisited)
          
        • No Cheating, Please
          
        • The Shot Heard Round The World
          
        • Exercise 13: Doc Riskin’s Magic Motion (with A Partner)
          
        • One And A Half Orgasms Are Better Than One
          
        • Last-minute Jitters Before The Big Debut?
          
        • Exercise 14: One-man Mission To Mars (solo)
          
        • Three Steps To Higher Consciousness
          
        • Exercise 15: Texas Two-step (with A Partner)
          
        • Exercise 16: The Longest Yard (solo)
          
        • Exercise 17: The Big Takeoff (with A Partner)
          
        • For The Do-it-yourselfer
          
        • Exercise 18: Two-time Champion (solo)
          
        • You Know It’s Working When…
          
    • Chapter Eleven
      
      • Practice, Practice, Practice
        
        • Exercise 19: Splitting The Atom (with A Partner)
          
        • Exercise 20: The Daily Double (solo)
          
        • Where Do You Go From Here?
          
    • Chapter Twelve
      
      • Success!
        
        • Stephen’s Story
          
        • Alex’s Story
          
        • Charles’s Story
          
        • Frederick’s Story
          
        • Your Story
          
  • Appendix One
    
    • Interesting Things To Read When You’re Not Having Sex
      
  • Appendix Two
    
    • Male Sexual Organs
      
    • Acknowledgements
      
    • Credits