How to Make Love to a Woman (14 page)

Of course, it is very important that both men have good timing and good rhythm so that their movements are synchronized. Try it on a rainy Sunday afternoon. I can’t think of a better pastime.

A lot of people, men and women, crave being with two people at the same time. This is natural for people with high libidos and if you are lucky enough to be living with a very sexual person, then you should consider adding a third to the bedroom scene now and again, to satisfy that craving for her and for you.

Picking up partners together can be much more fun and exciting and successful, provided it is done naturally. For instance, you do not necessarily have to mention that you are married or partnered to each other. You could just be a good friend who likes women. This way you can share partners who suit both your tastes, and the new girl will not feel guilty about intruding on a stable marriage or relationship.

You could both participate in seducing a woman. While he chats with her, you could arrange the drinks, put on a suitable record, and lower the lights. In other words, one of you could be in charge of mood-setting and the other in charge of entertaining. You could run a nice bubble bath and set out a candle with two or three glasses of wine or champagne in the bathroom for that great moment when you all decide to step out of your clothes and frolic around in the water.

Here are some things to consider if you are planning to expand your relationship. Many men have written me after having opened their marital relationship to a third partner, a second woman. They ask how they can go about making it permanent. I tell them to ask themselves some simple questions first. Is it the open marriage you want, the threesome, or is it that you are tired of your relationship with your wife? If it is the latter, I say don’t proceed. Just like you shouldn’t bring children into a bad marriage, you shouldn’t invite a third into a relationship permanently if that base relationship isn’t good. If the relationship at home is good and the wife is willing (in other words, she likes the threesome thing too and wants to make it more permanent), then the next question to ask yourself is “Can I eat cake every day?” Any man would be happy to have a great marriage and a little extra “treat” now and again with an extra woman in the bed. You perhaps should be happy with that. After all, what happens when we eat cake every day? We get fat and our teeth fall out.

59

PARTICIPATE IN AN ORGY

I once hosted an orgy of about thirty-six people, including a dozen or so of the old-time swingers, the rest were newcomers to the group sex game. For the first few hours any outsider would have thought that it was a normal party, because everybody kept their clothes on and didn’t know how to get the ball rolling. At midnight I served some hot food and snacks and announced, half-jokingly: “Ladies and gentlemen, since this party was supposed to be an orgy, I now announce the food is ready and we can all eat or fuck, or fuck what we eat or whom we eat, but I suggest each lady start undressing at least the upper half of her partner’s torso.”

“The most exciting of all for a man must be when he is on his knees bent forward, supporting himself with his hands, and while one woman fondles his balls, the other sucks his cock. Just thinking about it makes me wish I was a man right now—with two chicks doing it to me, of course.”

—Xaviera Hollander,
Penthouse Letters
, November 1988

And so, sometimes with effort, sometimes with finesse, the men got their shirts and sweaters and scarves peeled off. Then I announced that the men do whatever they wanted to the women. Soon there was a mutual stripping of clothing. The sexiest girls were the ones who kept on a tiny piece of clothing—a shawl, a long string of pearls, or maybe a garter belt and stockings (nobody wore bras). The amazing thing was that the new swingers who had never publicly undressed before became uninhibited in this crowd of people; the loss of inhibitions seemed to be contagious.

The next day I got many enthusiastic phone calls from people who had finally overcome their jealousy of their partner’s having sex with others—as long as it remained under their close supervision and was completely sexual. Remember, your woman can call the shots on how, when, where, and just how much, but you are going to have to take that first step.

60

DO IT IN A PUBLIC PLACE

Many men have the fantasy of doing it with their girlfriends in public places, or driving down the highway with her naked body exposed, or fingering her in a highway traffic jam with a trucker watching from the next lane.

When I was in Brazil for Carnival, I happened to be riding in a car with five young Brazilian playboys. I was wearing a flimsy, low-cut dress, and since it was extremely hot, I hadn’t put on a bra or panties. While two of the boys fondled and fingered me, a third had pulled down the strap of my dress to kiss my tits. We had a jolly time, especially when a local bus loaded with adults and children passed by. The banging against the glass and the screams of excitement from the windows of the bus made me have an orgasm on the spot, my pussy exposed in the wind. If your girlfriend or wife is skittish about this, then start her out slowly—with semi-private places, like the woods, and work your way up to the highways and bi-ways. (Don’t be stupid though; don’t try to drive and fuck at the same time. See my warning under the chapter entitled “Make ‘Make-Believe’ Danger.”)

61

INTRODUCE HER TO VOYEURISM

A lot of men have written me over the years about wanting to watch their wives have sex with other men. My personal theory on why a man would want to watch his wife with another man is that he is secretly bored with their physical relationships and needs reassurance that his wife is still desirable. I know dozens of marriages that actually would be strengthened if the wife could go out and get marvelously laid about once a month or even just once a year. Unfortunately, few men could handle this situation, although many of those same men would think nothing of employing a call girl for their own pleasure while on the road.

“Many men would like to see their wives, at least one time, being done by another man. They fantasize about it, they obsess about it, but for most, it stays in fantasy land. Most just don’t know how to get there.”

—Xaviera Hollander,
Penthouse Letters
, August 1987

Voyeurism is supposedly a masculine art, but I got enough letters over the years from women who participated and enjoyed it immensely that I know that neither sex has exclusivity on this fetish. I’m not much of a voyeur myself, but after receiving so many letters from voyeurs, I began to wonder what the thrill was.

I couldn’t quite figure out the phenomenon of voyeur husbands until I tried it myself—that is, I watched my young male lover screw my young female lover. And then I understood.

I was living with a young male ballet student, and occasionally we got into things with another man or woman, or both. After a little foreplay one night, I feigned a headache and said I’d rather watch than actually participate. This surprised my lover, but he consented to make love with my girlfriend for the night, while I simply watched. Now of course I’ve watched him fuck other women while he’s either fingered me or performed cunnilingus on me, but this was a totally different experience. I did nothing but watch. The best part was watching him shove his cock in and out of her pussy. I knew how he felt to her because I’d taken what he had so many times; a long, thin cock that could hit the spot like no other. My friend screamed with delight, and afterward she said the experience was doubly exciting because I was watching her get fucked by my own lover.

When she said that, I practically creamed in my jeans. Not only did I have to have my own lover right then and there (to show him that I was the better fuck, perhaps), but I also wanted to masturbate my friend. Somehow, I just had to feel her up where my lover, only moments before, had made love to her. Yes, sir, voyeurism can be a very erotic act and now I get it.

62

TICKLE HER FANCY

Tickling is a very common form of foreplay, and most men who have a fetish for tickling know that they are going to have to do more than get the girl in bed, whip out a feather, and say, “And now, my dear, I’m going to tickle you pink.”

Try kissing her nipples, underarms, neck, ribs, belly, and feet; and after each kiss, gently tickle that part of her body with your fingers. Don’t say anything—just do it! But don’t linger too long over any one part of her body. Kiss and tickle her nipples for a few seconds and then move on to her ribs, and so on. That way she’ll just think you’re a superb lover.

If she responds positively to your tickling, you’ve got a ticklee on your hands, and then you can become more open about your fetish. But if the girl should say “Hey, stop that—you’re tickling me!” you can always cover yourself with the line, “Oh, I’m sorry . . . I was just kissing and massaging all the nooks and crannies of your beautiful body.”

If this should happen and you are rejected, please don’t be embarrassed or feel ashamed of your fetish. It’s really very harmless and not at all uncommon. Some people are just too uptight to understand; others just don’t find it erotic.

You’ll discover, however, that most women find a mild degree of tickling to be very erotic.

If I were to be the tickler (versus the ticklee), I’d first tie my victim spread-eagled on my bed. Then I’d arrange a variety of props to use. For instance, I’d certainly have a fluffy feather, a fringed tassel of silk rope, a steel hairbrush, and, of course, my long, hard fingernails. I would not limit myself to her feet. I’d also work on her armpits, flanks, and especially her sacred portal. Part of the time she’d be blindfolded so that she couldn’t see which part of her body I’d tickle next.