How to Rise Above Abuse (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (48 page)

“Since we have been
justified
through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 5:1).

•
You are totally accepted by Christ.

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ
accepted
you, in order to bring praise to God” (Romans 15:7).

•
You are totally blameless before Christ.

“He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight,
without blemish
and free from accusation” (Colossians 1:22).

•
You are totally righteous in Christ.

“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the
righteousness of
God” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

•
You are totally complete in Christ.

“In Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given
fullness
[made complete] in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority” (Colossians 2:9-10).

•
You are totally perfect in Christ.

“By one sacrifice he has made
perfect
forever those who are being made holy” (Hebrews 10:14).

•
You are free from accusation.

“He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and
free from accusation
” (Colossians 1:22).

•
You are free from condemnation.

“There is now
no condemnation
for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).

•
You are free from the law.

“My brothers, you also
died to the law
through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God” (Romans 7:4).

•
You are saved from God’s wrath.

“Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be
saved from God’s wrath
through him!” (Romans 5:9).

•
You have been made an heir of God.

“You are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an
heir
” (Galatians 4:7).

•
You have inherited everything you need to be godly.

“His divine power has given us
everything we need
for life and
godliness
through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3).

•
You have inherited a new nature in Christ.

“Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the
divine nature
and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires” (2 Peter 1:4).

•
You have inherited every spiritual blessing.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with
every spiritual blessing
in Christ” (Ephesians 1:3).

•
You have inherited eternal life.

“This is the testimony: God has given us
eternal life
, and this life is in his Son” (1 John 5:11).

Victimization sabotages the self-worth of its victims. To be devalued by another person can leave lasting scars and sends a strong message that the victim has little or no worth. Such lies are clearly countered by the words of Jesus:

“Look at the birds of the air;
they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not much more valuable than they?”

(M
ATTHEW
6:26).

If you are struggling over your worth and value to God, memorize…

Psalm 139

As you meditate on Psalm 139, accept the truth that you are W-O-R-T-H-Y:

W—Work
on eliminating negative attitudes and beliefs.

O—Obtain
a scriptural understanding of having love for yourself.

R—Refuse
to compare yourself to others.

T—Thank God
for His unconditional love for you.

H—Hope
in God’s promise to make you more and more like Christ.

Y—Yield
your talents and abilities to helping others.

When you were a child, you did not have control over those in authority over you, but that is no longer the case. You are now able to choose those with whom you associate, and you can certainly control your self-talk. Therefore, you can take an active part in replacing the distorted view you have of yourself with God’s view of you. And you can begin by starting to…

•
Accept yourself.

— Stop striving for perfection or to be like someone else.

— Realize the Lord made you for a purpose, and He designed your personality and gave you the gifts and abilities He wanted you to have in order to accomplish His purpose for you.

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart,
but it is the L
ORD
’s purpose that prevails”

(P
ROVERBS
19:21).

•
Thank God for encouraging you.

— Acknowledge and praise God for the abilities He has given you and the things He has accomplished through you.

— Engage in biblically based, encouraging self-talk and mute the condemning critic inside your head.

“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father,
who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement
and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you
in every good deed and word”

(2 T
HESSALONIANS
2:16-17).

•
Accept the compliments of others.

— To discount the positive comments of those who have heartfelt appreciation for you is to discount their opinions and their desire to express their gratitude to you.

— Practice graciously accepting compliments and turning them into praise to God for the affirmation that He is at work in you and producing good fruit through you.

“This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit,
showing yourselves to be my disciples”

(J
OHN
15:8).

•
Release past negative experiences and focus on a positive future.

— Refuse to dwell on negative things said or done to you in the past and release them to God.

— Embrace the work God is doing in your life now and cooperate with Him by dwelling on Him, His character, and His promises to you to fulfill His purposes in you.

“It is God who works in you to will and to act
according to his good purpose”

(P
HILIPPIANS
2:13).

•
Live in God’s forgiveness.

— God has extended forgiveness to you for all of your sins (past, present, and future), so confess and repent of
anything offensive to God. Do not set yourself up as a higher judge than God by refusing to forgive yourself.

— Lay harsh judgment of yourself aside and accept that you will not be made fully perfect and totally without sin until you stand in the presence of Christ and are fully conformed to His image.

“Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be
has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears,
we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.
Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure”

(1 J
OHN
3:2-3).

•
Benefit from mistakes.

— Realize that you can learn from your mistakes as well as from the mistakes of others, and decide to view your mistakes as opportunities to learn needed lessons.

— Ask God what He wants to teach you from your mistakes; listen to Him and learn. Then move forward with a positive attitude and put into practice the insights you have gained.

“ ‘My [Jesus’] grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’
Therefore I [Paul] will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
12:9).

•
Form supportive, positive relationships.

— Realize that critical people are hurt people who project their feelings of inadequacy onto others in an attempt to ease their own emotional pain.

— Minimize the time you spend with negative, critical people—whether family, friends, or coworkers—and seek out those who encourage and support you both emotionally and spiritually.

“He who walks with the wise grows wise,
but a companion of fools suffers harm”

(P
ROVERBS
13:20).

•
Formulate realistic goals and plans.

— Elicit the help of others to identify your strengths and weaknesses as well as the gifts God has given you, plus the things you are persuaded God has called you to do.

— Prayerfully set some reasonable, achievable goals that capitalize on your strengths, and make a plan for how you will set about to accomplish those goals.

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run,
but only one gets the prize?
Run in such a way as to get the prize”

(1 C
ORINTHIANS
9:24).

•
Identify your heart’s desires.

— Make a list of the things you have dreamed of doing but have never attempted because of a fear of failure or a lack of self-assurance.

— Share each desire with the Lord, asking Him to confirm to you which ones are from Him. Then lay out the steps you need to take in order to accomplish them.

“Delight yourself in the L
ORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart”

(P
SALM
37:4).

•
Plan for success.

— Anticipate any obstacles to accomplishing your goals and desires and plan strategies for overcoming them.

— Think of yourself achieving each of your goals and doing the things God has put on your heart to do.

“May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed”

(P
SALM
20:4).

•
Celebrate each accomplishment.

— Your feelings of self-worth and self-confidence will grow with the acknowledgment of each accomplishment.

— Rejoice with the Lord and the significant people in your life over the things God has done through you and for you. Affirm and celebrate your success.

“There, in the presence of the L
ORD
your God, you and your families
shall eat and shall rejoice in everything you have put your hand to,
because the L
ORD
your God has blessed you”

(D
EUTERONOMY
12:7).

•
Envision a ministry.

— Look ahead to the future instead of being a prisoner to the past.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland”