I Am Not a Slut: Slut-Shaming in the Age of the Internet (47 page)

limited conception of, 240–41, 245, 253–55, 256, 269

“nonconsensual sex” as synonym for, 259

by NYPD officer, 282–83

oral sex as, 240–41, 247–48, 264

pregnancy from, 249

slavery and, 33

of a “slut,” xx, 241–42, 248, 249–50, 276, 314, 318

statistics on, 244–45

Steubenville case of, 40–41, 130, 243, 273–77, 303–4

unreported, 257–58

victim’s pre-rape actions and, 265

rape culture, xx

on campus, 258–63

RapedAtTufts.info, 310, 314

RateBU.com, 135–36

Ravi, Dharun, 69

reality television, 4, 129, 132

reclamation of negative language:

“bitch,” 5, 288

“N” word, 290, 299–302

“queer,” 287–88

“slut,” 5, 6, 24, 36–37, 279–304, 305, 326

Reddit, 113

Reebok, 262

Rehnquist, William, 117

relevance, social, 18–19, 23, 48

resources, 343–51

Reynolds, Simon, 35

Richardson, Samuel, 31

Richmond, Ma’lik, 242–43, 273–77

Rihanna, viii

Rimer, Sara, 60

Ringrose, Jessica, 29, 60, 167–68

Riot Grrrl movement, 35, 201, 281

Robnett, Rachael, 178

Rodriguez, Favianna, 294–96

Roe v. Wade,
228

Rolling Stone,
41, 133–34

Romney, Mitt, 69

Rosen, Devan, 128–29

Rosin, Hanna, 175

Ross, Rick, 262

Rubinstein, Helena, 61

Rudúlph, Heather Wood, 117

Rutgers University, 37

Saint Mary’s University, 260

Saturday Night Live,
34–35

Sedwick, Rebecca, 75

self-defense toolkit, 339–41

self-destructive behaviors, xx

see also
“bad slut” coping mechanisms

selfies, 126

Seligman, Joel, 223

Semmelhack, Elizabeth, 60

sexism, 178

benevolent, 178, 192

Sex Revolts, The
(Reynolds and Press), 35

sexting and sending sexual photos and videos, 142, 159–73, 191, 340

parents and, 330

sexual agency,
see
agency

sexual assault, 25, 36, 41, 94–95, 183, 242, 306

ambiguous sex vs., 253–58

by athletes, 261, 264, 273–77

on college campuses, 258

definition of, 241
n

false claims of, 256–57, 258

hooking up and, 189–90

not recognizing as crime, 240–41, 242, 253–54

parents and, 333–34, 336

skepticism about claims of, 248

statistics on, 190, 244–45

survivor of, labeled as slut, 66, 94–97

see also
rape

sexual development, 2

author’s story and, xii

Elizabeth’s story and, 200

Jasmine’s story and, 11, 12

Sharon’s story and, 90–91

sexual double standard, xiv, xvii–xviii, 6–7, 8, 24, 25, 65, 77–89, 110, 121, 143, 187, 192, 194, 202, 286–87, 302, 305

agency and, 65, 83, 89, 181

health care providers and, 220

number of partners and, 216–17

and “owning” a bad reputation, 195–96

parents and, 329–30

sexual equality, 77, 143, 202, 289, 297

sexual expression and desire, 7, 9, 31, 52–53, 176, 184–85, 191–92, 243, 305–6

shutting down, 193, 206, 209

sexual harassment, xi, xiii, xiv, 25, 67, 193–94

public, 306–9

sexual history, number of partners in, 194, 209–22

double standard and, 216–17

oral sex and, 211–12

sexual inequality, 77, 143, 202, 289, 297

sexual intercourse, average age of first, 174

sexually provocative clothing, 142, 145–59, 172, 191, 241, 280, 281, 284–85, 302, 324, 331–33, 340

sexually suggestive texts, photos, and videos, sending, 142, 159–73, 191, 340

parents and, 330

sexually transmitted diseases, xviii, xx, 219–20, 223, 224

sexual policing, 113

Sexy Feminism
(Armstrong and Rudúlph), 117, 118

Shakespeare, William, 30

Shulman, Alix Kates, 283–84

Skumanick, George, Jr., 164

Skype, 161

slavery, 9, 32, 33

Slick Rick, 34

“slut,” 1–6

bad,
see
“bad slut”

categories of, 65–66, 89–97

contemporary definitions of, 41–47

creative solutions to eliminate, 305–26

femininity and, 32, 33, 53–61, 65, 68, 110, 111, 113

good,
see
“good slut”

as greeting, 4, 110–11, 112, 113

history of word, 29–37, 186, 285–86

jealousy and, 66, 92–94

meanings of, 27–61, 109, 285–86, 305, 319, 326

“other” girl as, 66, 89–92

parents’ use of word, 336–37

as positive or benign word, xv, 3–5, 108, 109–12, 121, 141, 323, 341

in previous generations vs. today, 1–4

“prude” vs., 18–22, 52, 172, 198

rape of, xx, 241–42, 248, 249–50, 276, 314, 318;
see also
rape

rape survivor as, 66, 94–97

reclamation of, 5, 6, 24, 36–37, 279–304, 305, 326

self-labeling as, 4, 5

social network use of, 108

song lyrics and, 262–63

uncleanliness and, 29–31, 186, 285

Slut: The Play,
321–24

slut-bashing, xi, xiv, xv, xvii, xviii, 3, 6, 63–105, 193–94

author’s experience of, xi–xii, xiii, 28, 112, 288–89

backfiring on name-callers, 24

by boys, 97–105

slut-shaming vs., 4, 110

suicide as consequence of, 37–38, 74, 75, 193, 231–38

Slut! Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation
(Tanenbaum), xi, xiii–xiv, 27–28, 35, 295

slut lists, 76–77

slut-related theme parties, 37, 144–45

SLUTS, 36

slut-shaming, xv, xvii, xviii, xix, 6, 194–95, 238, 302, 306

backfiring on name-callers, 24

curvier girls and, 152

by feminists, 303–4

and lying about sexual assault, 256–57, 258

parents and, 329–30

reciprocal, 4, 107–40, 141, 253

self-defense toolkit for, 339–41

slut-bashing vs., 4, 110

SlutWalk, 5, 36, 42, 279–87, 289–94, 297, 302–3

Smolak, Linda, 148

Snapchat, 114, 163, 169

social media, 22–23, 48, 107, 111, 122, 125, 127, 130, 132, 133, 272–73, 286

activism on, 306–18

Ask.fm, 74–76, 237

competition and, 133, 137–38

Facebook,
see
Facebook

femininity and, 125, 126

Formspring, 73–74, 235, 237

Instagram, vii–viii, 2, 40, 59, 109, 114, 260, 272, 274

Klout and, 124

MySpace, 71, 125, 127, 164

parents and, 335

photos on,
see
photographs

positive reinforcement and, 131

self-sexualization on, 108–9

“slut” used on, 108

Tumblr, 73, 113

Twitter,
see
Twitter

YouTube,
see
YouTube

Social Network, The,
3, 134, 135

social relevance, 18–19, 23, 48

Sokolow, Brett, 258–59

South Hadley High School, 233

Spears, Britney, 146–47, 156

Spelman College, 262

Stefanone, Michael, 128–29

Steubenville rape case, 40–41, 130, 243, 273–77, 303–4

Stewart, Potter, 43

Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy
(Bazelon), 73–74, 234

StopSlut movement, 319–26

“Stupid Hoe,” 252

Stuyvesant High School, 148–53, 154, 158–59

suicide, 37–38, 74, 75, 193, 231–38, 250, 272–73

“Sunrise,” 263

surveillance, 112, 114–15, 119–20, 121

Swift, Jonathan, 31

Take Back the Night marches, 279

Tampa Bay Times,
232

Tarrant, Shira, 114, 119

Teitel, Stanley, 152, 153, 154

television shows, 4, 129, 132

texts, photos, and videos, sexually suggestive, 142, 159–73, 191, 340

parents and, 330

30 Rock,
viii

Thomas, Clarence, 35

“Tip Drill,” 262

Title IX, 310–11

Today,
118

Todd, Amanda, 38, 236–37

Tolman, Deborah, 185

“Top of the World,” 263

To the Curb,
293

tracksuits, 156

transparency, 124

Tuerkheimer, Deborah, 283

Tufts University, 289, 309–11, 312

Tumblr, 73, 113

Turkle, Sherry, 122–24

Twitter, vii, viii–ix, xvi, 73, 109, 113, 125, 138, 167, 272, 273, 318

Steubenville rape and, 40–41, 273–77

Tyga, 262

UltraViolet, 262

United States Naval Academy, 261, 264

University of California, 178

University of Pennsylvania, 177–78, 184, 188, 190, 210

University of Southern California, 259–60

Urban Dictionary,
43–46

U.S. News & World Report,
312

“vagina,” 78

Vagina Monologues, The
(Ensler), 78, 291, 321

Valenti, Jessica, 151–52

Vanderbilt University, 261

Victoria’s Secret, 148

videos, texts, and photos, sexually suggestive, 142, 159–73, 191, 340

parents and, 330

virgin/whore dichotomy, 19

Wade, Lisa, 174, 246

Waking the Cadaver, 263

Wanjuki, Wagatwe, 289, 309–11, 312–13

Washington Post,
119

Weiner, Anthony, 167

What’s Your Number?,
210

When Sex Became Gender
(Tarrant), 114

white women, 8–9, 32–34, 294

feminist, 293

privilege and, 291

“whore,” “ho,” xi, xiv, xv, 1, 18, 21, 24, 25, 34, 37, 289–91, 319

Williams, Serena, 41

Witches in Bikinis, 281

Witsell, Hope, 37, 231–33, 234

women of color, 9–10, 32–34

and reclamation of “slut,” 288–97

Women’s Initiative, 60

Wortham, Jenna, 131

Yale University, 259, 285

Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape
(Friedman and Valenti, eds.), 297

yoga pants, 156–57

YouTube, 40, 237

MacLeod and, 313–15

Marbles and, 40, 250–53, 315–18

Ramsey and, 315–17, 335

Zeilinger, Julie, 22, 121, 127–28, 132–33, 136–37, 176, 177, 179

Zeisler, Andi, 284

Zuckerberg, Mark, 3, 125, 133–34

Zuckerman, Diana, 119

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Photo by Ryan Brown

LEORA TANENBAUM
is the author of five books about girls’ and women’s lives, on topics including the movement of women rising up against sexism in faith communities, competition among women from the boardroom to the delivery room, and the agony of wearing high-heeled shoes. Her book
Slut! Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation
(HarperPerennial, 2000) is a staple in gender and women’s studies and sociology courses on college campuses around the United States. She has been a guest on
Oprah
,
The Today Show
, and National Public Radio.

Tanenbaum is the senior writer and editor for the Planned Parenthood Federation of America and for its advocacy and political branch, the Planned Parenthood Action Fund. She lives in New York City with her two teenage sons. She enjoys reading in print and writing with a pencil . . . though you can follow her on Twitter @LeoraTanenbaum or visit her website at www.leoratanenbaum.com.