I Am Not Junco Omnibus: Books Four - Six (39 page)

"Where is Selia?"

I swallow and give him his answer. "That Caleb guy took her."

I'm crashing into the ground before I can even register he's moved. Something tells me that all those fights we had before were nothing but play to him. He stands over me, his legs straddling my body, and his words come out as a hiss. "Took her where? For what purpose?"

Oh. Fuck.

"I'm not gonna ask you again, Junco. Took her where and for what purpose?"

"Ashur, I just need—" I try to get up, but he kicks me back to the ground. "I just need you to be reasonable and listen to me, OK?"

I swallow hard again as he waits, silent.

"We left the hotel and ported—"

"You mean you stole her from the hotel and ported, right?"

"Right." I nod. I'm not gonna argue with him. "We ported to the desert and she was all pissed off telling me how she wanted to spend the night with you, and—"

"That won't work on me, Junco. Either you get to the point right now," he pulls me up in a rush of pain, "or I'll show you how far over my line you've crossed."

"And then the MR troops came, or someone came, I'm not clear on that. They had—"

He shakes me to stop my babbling.

"And she only saw the cloud of dust and she thought it was you." I stop and take a deep breath. "But it wasn't you."

His face drops the anger and picks up panic. "What. The. Fuck. Happened?"

"Ashur, I tried, I just want you to know I tried—"

He smacks me and I go flying.

"I asked you a question, now answer me. What happened to her?"

"They shot her, Ash. They sprayed her with rapid-fire! I tried to get her away but I tripped and by the time we ported she was—"

"What! She was what?"

I gulp some air. "Filled with holes. And so we ported again, twice, until we got to the desert again, and then I was sitting there praying for help and that Caleb guy appeared. He didn't say anything, he just took her and left me there."

His fist is flying at me and I frantically port to get away, but his fingers find my arm just before we go into the timeshift, and again, I am slammed into the ground with the force of his anger.

Ashur is breathing hard. "You suck at porting, Junco. I can find you no matter where you go. And if you think for a minute I'm not gonna square up this debt you have with me, you're mistaken."

I scramble to my feet as his razors come out and slash through the back of my Aves shirt, but I slip past and run.

It only takes a few fractions before he's got me by the ankles and I go down again. I squirm and wriggle to loosen his grip, I try out every single move I know on him, but he knows me too well. Better than I know myself, probably. I end up pinned to the desert floor, my head being painfully smashed against a small rock that I had the bad luck to land on.

He leans down into me, the sweat dripping off his face in the desert heat, his chest expanding and contracting with anger and effort, and I lie still.

"Ashur, please. I know it's my—" I stop when I see his fist coming at my face and brace for the impact.

It never connects. Instead Ashur is flying up in the air and Lucan is pulling me to my feet.

"Are you all right?" he asks, leaning down to look me over.

I nod, but my whole body is trembling. "Ashur was gonna kill me."

Lucan only nods. "Yes, and if you could die, you'd deserve that to be quite honest. But since you can't die," he stops to scowl at Ashur who is now next to him, still angry and breathing hard, "and we need you for the Seventh Pillar, it is an extremely stupid plan to dismember you today."

"Lucan," Ash starts.

But he's cut off with a wave of Lucan's hand. "Not now, Ashur. Selia has been delivered back to the ship. I suggest you concern yourself with that and leave this to Tier and me."

Ashur disappears as I look to my right and Tier is standing next to me. Lucan demands my attention with a shake of my arm. "A private moment, Tier. Please."

Tier doesn't even look at me, just throws his hands up and walks off. I watch him from behind, his shoulders slightly slumped, his head shaking, like he's talking himself out of something.

"Junco, look at me."

I force myself to look him in the eyes. They are red again, glowing, or maybe churning is a better word to describe what's happening to the color in his eyes. Churning like lava. Like Hell.

"What will it take to make you understand?"

I snort out a laugh. "What kind of question is that? I mean, a little bit of truth, obviously. Why don't you just admit that you've been using me, Lucan. Just fucking say it already. Because it's so painful—" I stop and choke on the word for a few seconds before I can pull myself back under control. When I'm ready to talk again I only have a weak little whisper. "It's so painful to know that that you're lying to me. That you all hate me, see me as this insane girl that you have to keep around so you can save yourselves."

I turn back to Tier. He's stopped walking and is facing us again. He waits with me. To see what Lucan will say to that.

What comes out is unexpected. "Did you know that I love sunsets, Junco?"

"What?"

"Sunsets, Earth sunsets specifically," he clarifies. "I love sunsets but I had to spend thousands of years without ever seeing a single one. Coming back to Earth and seeing my first sunset again after all that time… well, it was something fantastical. I felt alive again. Not the dead thing I turned into. The stoic leader of the avians. Not the Archer of Fledge or Aves."

My eyes are still fixed on Tier as I think about this.

"Look at me, Junco. Not just glance at me, but look at me. See me for what I am right now."

I turn back to him, studying his ancient armor. The black interlocking scales remind me of a reptile's skin. I've touched it before, of course, and the smoothness is like a bucket of paint or a vat full of melted chocolate. Something that begs to be touched. I reach out. They are so soft. I'm not sure how something that's supposed to protect you can be so soft.

Lucan stretches out his bat wing and it curls around his arm a little. I touch that now too and it makes him shiver.

"Sorry," I say, looking up at his eyes again. "I see you, Lucan."

"I'm sorry as well. I know we've been dishonest."

"Pffft. Dishonest? Please."

"We've lied, kept things from you on purpose, misled you. We're guilty. And I'm sorry, I have no excuse except to say that I don't understand you at all. I misjudged you at every turn. It's all my fault. If I could go back, I'd do it all differently. Which should prove to you that I never saw these things you accuse me of. I didn't, Junco. We all knew Isten would die, but that it would affect you like this? No. We never saw that, we do not understand you. Not what you really are, not where you come from, not why you were made. The only thing I understand about you, Junco, is that you're capable of a great number of things. You are very powerful, you are a force. So it just never occurred to me that it would be so easy to break you. I did not see your end in Deliverance. Or how Kush would die. I knew Kush wouldn't make it out of the fight, but I never saw that end." He stops to search my face for some sort of comprehension, but I just swallow and look away. "You must believe me. Do you believe me?"

Do I believe him? No, not really.

"I'm not the Devil, Junco."

"I know that, Lucan. I really don't think you're the Devil but I'm not sure why you care what I think of you."

"I care because I see myself in you. I see your potential, your possibilities, and I'm worried that I'm sending you down the wrong path."

"What's this got to do with sunsets?"

He laughs softly and I look back over to Tier. He waits with me, still and quiet.

"When we had our first honest conversation, the one outside Fledge after you killed those boys, you lamented over the stars. Do you remember?"

I nod. "Yeah. I remember."

"And I thought about how I missed the sunsets on Earth. That's why I took you to see the stars that night. I wanted you to know that I understand. I really do. I have been you, Junco. I was forced to make choices when I was young and I stand by those choices to this day. I regret the price I've paid. I regret that Tier has to complete a job he wants nothing to do with. I regret that you are my saving grace and you'd rather be anything but that. I have a lot of regrets, but I am not unhappy. I am, in fact, very happy, all things considered. I never thought the Seven would be like you. I've imagined it millions of ways, but none of them even came close to what I got. I'm so glad you're my Seven, Junco. And I want you to know, above all else, that you're doing a pretty good job."

I laugh again. "Oh, crap. I hope that's not true, Lucan. I suck." It was meant to come out like a joke but the tears steal away any hope of pulling that off and suddenly they are streaming down my face.

"I know it hurts, Junco. I know you're tired. I know you have doubts and you think you're doing it all wrong. But you're doing just fine. Not perfect, but I can't expect you to comply with everything. That's not who you are. You can do it your way. I'm OK with that. I believe in you, Junco, so I will step back and stop interfering with your goals. I trust you. I know in my heart you will do the right thing in the end."

I sniff as I wipe the tears away. "I wouldn't count on that, Lucan. Seriously." When I look up at his face he is smiling. "What?"

He just shakes his head and motions for Tier to join us, which he does, and then he continues as Tier and I both wait it out together. "I understand your need for revenge, Junco. But you might be surprised to hear that I've taken care of all of that for you. We got the Vegas lab this morning. The lab where they held you."

"You have? You did?"

"Your killing is over now, Junco. I got them all, except for a few technicians in the lab that we kept for questioning. And Inanna, of course. I have no power to kill her." He stops and stares hard at me after this revelation.

"What?" I ask again. I hate it when they stop short in their explanations.

He looks like there are words on the tip of his tongue but he can't manage to get them out. He stares into my eyes for a few fractions that to me seem to stretch out like years. "It takes a certain skill level to kill a member of the High Order. I could not, for instance, kill you now that Inanna has changed you. But you could kill me. With your SEAR knife. If you had it."

My gulp is audible, I'm sure of it. He doesn't know I have one? I look over at Tier for some kind of confirmation.

"It's true, Juncs. The SEAR knife, the knife coded for you specifically, is the only thing that can dissipate Lucan."

"I am protected, you see. By…" Lucan stops here, maybe wanting to take it back, or maybe to think up a lie, or maybe just to find the right words to say it. "By another party to this whole mess. The High Order did not agree with the actions I took against the semi-sentient beings that used to populate this planet. But this other party, my counter-part, He did, so I was protected. I flooded the Earth using many, many Pillars and wiped out the pre-humans and then made a new race. I created the code that messed up the High Order genetics and corrupted the avian genome along with them. I was given that power and I used it."

"Oh," is all I can manage to say.

"But everything has a weakness, Junco. And you and your knife are mine. You could kill me right now if you had it. Just slice me in half and I'd never get back up. I'd be flung out into the Universe for a very long time. Eternity, for lack of a better word. Of course, I would fight you and I'd win. I'm much stronger. That's why Inanna won when she took you. She never gave you a chance to use the knife, did she?"

That day creeps back into my brain, the shock of her being in front of me, so close. The revelation that I was High Order too and she wanted me to go with her and wait for them to come back. But Lucan was there as well. And I chose Lucan instead of her. "No, I tried, I was gonna cut her head off. But she just raised her palm at me and I went flying backwards."

"She is strong, but she is also weak, Junco. She is not protected, she is just lucky. You are her weakness. Her daughter. Do you understand?"

I nod.

He stares at me. Hard. Like he's not quite sure if I understand or not. I'm not quite sure either, to be honest. In fact, I've probably got it all fucked up in my head, but I nod again. With more conviction this time. This makes him smile and turn to Tier.

"Take her to the Vegas lab, show her everything."

"Lucan, I'm not sure that's a good idea. She doesn't need that—"

"Raubtier, this is not a request. Take her now and show her everything."

And then he is gone.

Tier stares down at me and frowns. A deep frown that stretches across his whole face.

"What?" I ask. "What are you guys hiding now?"

"Things better left hidden, Junco. That's all." He reaches out for me, not a shoulder tap as per Lucan's usual method of transporting with me, but actually draws me into his chest. He holds me that way for several uncomfortable seconds, and then we're in the timeshift.