If I Return (2 page)

Unfortunately, grace has never been my forte, and I manage to stumble as the tip of my foot snags on a piece of stone paver. I feel my body fly forward, gravity toppling me down toward the ground. My heart lurches in my throat, and I actually start feeling embarrassed that I’m getting ready to wipe out in front of all of these people. But I never hit the ground because a pair of strong arms catches me.

The fact that my downward progress has been halted does nothing to still my heart, which is galloping away from me at a million miles an hour. As warm hands softly grip my upper arms, I look up into the face of my savior, ready to throw out a heartfelt platitude of thanks. Instead, my words get caught in my throat and I can only stare with an open mouth at the man that is holding me.

Pure masculinity is the first thought that comes to my mind. He is tall and has short, dark hair cropped really close to his head, buzzed even shorter around his ears. His eyes are a blue-gray, but shining more blue in the bright afternoon sun. I bet on rainy days, they darken to the color of steel. His eyelashes are so thick and dark that you’d think he was wearing eyeliner. A strong jaw with a square chin, lightly covered in the perfect amount of stubble, sets off his amazing visage. The man offers me a smile, and his teeth are perfectly straight and gleaming white.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Um... yeah. Thanks. I guess I should have been watching where I was going.”

He’s still holding onto my arms when he says, “Yeah, it’s hard not to get caught up in the beauty of this place, huh?”

“I know. The architecture is phenomenal.”

The man finally releases my arms and steps back a foot. It allows me to get a better view of him. He’s young, although maybe a bit older than I am. He’s wearing a dark navy peacoat and I can see a hint of a cream, cable-knit sweater peeking out from the top. Dark jeans complete his outfit and they fit him to perfection.

We stare at each other for an awkwardly long time, and I have no clue what to say. But the moment is broken when another man comes up behind him and claps him on the back, causing him to break eye contact with me.

“Ready to go, Jack?”

He turns to his friend and says, “You bet.”

Turning back to me, he gives me a smile before walking off after his buddy. He doesn’t turn back to look at me, and I have unfettered access to stare after him as they walk down a hill and toward a parking lot. He has a great backside... at least from what I can see.

“Hope... come on. Let’s get checked in.”

I glance to the Inn doors and Audrey is standing there waiting for me. She flips her honey-blond hair over her shoulder and winks at another cute bellman that walks by.

I grin. My sister is such a flirt.

Actually, she’s more than that. She’s practically a man-eater.

Audrey has always been the wild one while I have always been the shy one. Audrey partied her way through college, falling in and out of love more times than I could remember. When she finally had enough of getting her heart broken, she decided that no-strings relationships were the only kind she could tolerate. Two years older than me, she is brash, outgoing, sexy, and unapologetic about any of it. She owns it as a matter of fact.

I’m quite the opposite. I didn’t get Audrey’s golden hair or emerald eyes, her pouty lips or C-cup breasts. There’s nothing about me that stands out actually. My hair is neither blond, nor brown. In fact, the best way to describe it is the color of mouse fur. And while “mousy” describes the color of my hair, at least it is long and thick, with just enough natural wave to it that I can practically make it stand up and do the hokey-pokey if I want. My eyes are between brown and hazel, or some might call them the color of swamp mud. I’m average height and average build.

I’m just... average.

Hoisting my purse again, I walk toward Audrey, carefully watching where I’m going so I don’t trip again. My mind thinks back to the man that caught me... Jack. I wonder if I’ll see him again. While my sole intention for this holiday was to curl up with a good book every day, I can’t help but think about what it would be like to talk to him again. I feel a flutter of excitement in my chest, and while my brain tries to squash it, it continues to beat with hope.

Audrey and I check in and the same bellman that Audrey has been flirting with shows us to our room. Jenna’s father paid for the rooms for the wedding party for the entire week we are here. He is an uber-wealthy industrialist who made his money in cosmetics and electronics.

Weird combination, I know.

Once all of our bags have been carried to our room, Audrey promptly forgets the bellman and heads to the windows to gaze out over the Blue Ridge Mountains. I turn to tip him, handing him a ten-dollar bill. I think the going rate is two-dollars per bag and Audrey, in typical fashion, brought four bags to my one for the week’s stay. The bellman takes the money, giving a wistful look in Audrey’s direction before turning to leave.

When the door closes, Audrey turns to me. “We’re going to have so much fun this week, Hope. I can’t wait to go skiing, and I’m told we should head into town for some really cool bars. Oh, and we need to go visit the Biltmore... I hear it’s amazing at Christmas... and then we should...”

I tune Audrey out as I start to unpack my one measly bag. She has the ability to get excited over anything, and because she’s the adventurous of the two Camden girls, she’ll want to be on the go constantly.

“Honestly, Audrey... I just want to relax. I’ve been studying so hard. I just want to rest my brain by getting lost in a good book.”

Audrey makes a
pfft
sound. “Ridiculous. You’re going to take your nose out of a book and live life for once. You’re too serious all the time. You need to let your hair down and party.”

I cock an eyebrow at her. She knows better than to even suggest such a thing to me. I am a driven woman, and I don’t have time for the same frivolities that Audrey seeks. She made it through college okay, but she’s yet to do a thing productive with her degree. She’s worked a variety of jobs, mostly retail, since graduating from school two years ago.

I, on the other hand, have had my eyes set with determination on my goal to become a social worker. It’s all I’ve ever wanted in life. From the time I set foot on the campus of Florida State University, I went balls to the wall to get my undergrad degree in social sciences. I didn’t even bother taking a breath before I dove into my Master’s in social work. I hoped to have it finished in about a year.

Sometimes though, I do wish I could be like Audrey. She’s so carefree and has no worries. Whereas I do nothing but worry about my future, terrified that one small misstep will cause me to lose focus on my end game. I suppose it’s made me a bit boring because I don’t like to leave the safety of my little cocoon.

Audrey’s not through with me. “Come on, Hope. Just for once in your life, stop living by rules. Live in the here and now.”

“And what would you have me do over the next week?”

Why I ask her that, I don’t know? I suppose I’m humoring her.

Audrey plops down on her bed and looks at me with all seriousness. “Well, for one... I think you need to get laid. That will go a long ways toward loosening you up.”

I snicker at her idea. I’m by no means a prude, but I certainly don’t hop beds the way Audrey does. In fact, I’ve only had sex with one man in my young life... my former boyfriend, James. We met our freshman year at FSU, and we were like two peas in a pod.

Both of us were serious, studious, and totally avoided the party scene. We started out as friends, and then started dating. It was almost a year before we even had sex, and both of us were virgins so it made for some awkward fumbling for a while. But, eventually, our intimacy leveled out and it was... nice. I mean, it wasn’t earth shattering and my world wasn’t rocked, but it was... nice. Safe. Reliable.

Oh, God... my sex life was like a trusty old Ford truck. I realize in a brief moment of clarity that I sometimes border on the pathetic side.

Still, since James and I broke up right after graduation, I haven’t really been interested in another relationship. In fact, I’ve haven’t really met anyone that perked my interest. Unless you count the gorgeous man I met twenty minutes ago.

Shaking my head, I give a disapproving look to Audrey. “I’m just not built that way. I don’t have your willful spirit or your confidence. I wouldn’t even know how to go about getting laid.”

“Well, then let’s try to tap into that this week. You don’t really know anyone here... a virtual stranger. You could be as wild and wanton as you want. We could hook you up with a hot ski instructor, and you could have wild sex all week. What’s stopping you?”

I shrug my shoulders. What is stopping me?

I suppose it’s the fact that it’s just not who I am. I’m not one for casual sex. I believe in love and romance. I’m a real nerd when it comes to those things. Besides, like I said... sex with James was... nice. But I don’t miss it, and I certainly don’t crave it. I’m wondering if that means I’m just slightly warmer than frigid, or it could mean I really don’t know anything about sex.

I hope it’s the latter, because if it’s the former, I’m thinking there may be no hope for me at all.

Desperately needing a change in subject, I ask Audrey, “So... what’s on the agenda this week?”

Audrey leans over the bed and reaches into one of her suitcases. She pulls out a folder and flips through the pages inside. Finding what she is looking for, she pulls out a single piece of paper and scans it.

“Well... it looks like tonight, everyone is meeting for drinks in The Great Hall. Tomorrow, we’re all going skiing at Wolf’s Ridge. Then we have a trip set to go to the Biltmore, and then the rehearsal dinner is in three days, followed by the Bachelor and Bachelorette parties. Sounds fun, doesn’t it?”

No, not really. Not for someone that just wants to curl up on a cozy sofa in front of that huge fireplace downstairs and read a nice, smutty romance novel.

“Yes... sounds like
you’re
going to have a load of fun.”

“Oh, no you don’t. You mean “we” are going to have a load of fun. You know you’re invited to all these events. Jenna insisted when I told her I was bringing you.”

“I don’t know, Audrey. I’m not good in crowds and strangers make me nervous.”

“I’m not a stranger. I’ll be there with you.”

I chuckle to myself. Audrey would be there in person, but she would be a million miles away from me in spirit. When Audrey got in a crowd, she was the shining star. Center stage and bright spotlights always lit her up. She would forget about me and I’d be the pathetic wallflower hanging out in a dark corner by herself.

“Seriously, Audrey. You know that’s not my thing. You promised when I said I would come that you would let me just relax. I’d be doing that with Mom and Dad right now on a sandy beach if I hadn’t said I would come here with you.”

Audrey sighs dramatically and flops over on her back. She even pouts a little. “I know... I just want my baby sister to have fun. I want you step outside the box a little.”

“I know. And I love you for it. I’ll compromise though. I’ll go to some of the events with you, as long as you respect my need to have some quiet time, okay?”

She flashes me a brilliant smile as she leaps from the bed. Giving me a huge hug, she lays a wet kiss on my cheek. “Awesome. We’re going to have so much fun together this week.”

The Great Hall is crowded and I’m nervous about meeting all of Audrey’s friends. I’ve met Jenna a few times, and her fiancé, Landon, once. But past that, I don’t know any of these people.

When I agreed to come down for drinks tonight, Audrey took it upon herself to spit-shine me. After I took a shower, she fussed and fretted over my hair and makeup for a full hour. My scalp is still slightly sore from the mauling that took place. She then proceeded to dress me in her clothes, proclaiming my baggy jeans and sweaters were not appropriate for a posh, winter resort like The Montgrove.