If Only (24 page)

Late morning and we’re the only two up, we’re making
breakfast for everyone. While I’m preparing the pancakes, Callie, who’s
supposed to be in charge of the scrambled eggs, is bent over the kitchen
island, elbows resting on the granite top, one leg crossed in front of the
other, reading a newspaper someone must have brought with them yesterday. She’s
in pink skinny jeans and a black tank top and she’s playing with some loose
strands of hair falling free from her ponytail.
Sexy as fuck,
as always.

As I return to the food
she’s distracting me from, Callie comes up behind me, her soft hands gently on
my hips and her cheek pressed against my shoulder blade. “Joe, this is so
weird.” She wraps her arms around my waist.

“What’s weird?”

“You and me – here like
this.”

I switch off the stove and turn
to her. Every time I look at her I find it hard to believe she’s mine, I’ll
never fail to be amazed by that detail. Or fail to appreciate it. Moving her
back toward the island, I lift her up to sit her on it. “Is that a good weird
or a bad weird?”

She pauses, briefly. “It’s a
weird, weird.” She shakes her head, her expression thoughtful.
“Just ... weird.
But not a
bad
weird ... you’re,
like, my
boyfriend
. That’s weird, Joe.”

I laugh, but not for long
before she pulls me into a kiss. I know what she means, even if she couldn’t
explain it. Shit, I can’t even explain it, but I get it.

“I really love you, Joe
Andrew Williams.”

“I really fucking love you,
Callie Ann Rogers.”

She giggles at my returned
declaration, and a thought occurs to me. Looking in her eyes, I say something
absolutely unplanned, absolutely unexpected, but absolutely true. “I don’t want
to be your boyfriend.” Her brows pull tight with uncertainty, so I quickly
rectify my impromptu words. “It’s not enough. Marry me?” Her jaw drops and she
stares at me, eyebrows raised. “I don’t want to scare you, but I have to be
honest.”

After a few more seconds,
her expression softens. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

I can’t work out what her
thoughts are, but I’m happy that she knows I mean it. I won’t let her off this
island until she says yes. I nod. “Yes, I am.” My stare continues to burn into
hers. I don’t doubt that I’m as shocked by my proposal as she is, but I’m
certain it’s what I want.

After what felt like an
eternity, she finally says, “I want to.”

Now I’m the one frowning.
“Is that a yes?”

“Yes,” she almost laughs
out. “Shit, Joe.”

“Yeah ... I know.” What a
turn of events?

“You know we’re insane, Joe.
You do know that, don’t you?”

“It’s our kind of insane,
right?”

“It totally is.”  
   

The others are still sleeping, and Joe and I have
eaten. Taking advantage of the warm, sunny day, we’re out by the pool. I’m
still in a state of shock, but unsure whether it’s from Joe asking me to marry
him or me saying yes with such ease. It’s probably both, although, I don’t know
why, he’s all I ever wanted and I’ve never been more certain of anything in my
life. I can’t think of anything better than spending the rest of my existence
with my soul mate. His proposal may not have been candle-lit dinner for two,
but, honestly, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I loved the spontaneity of
it. 

We squeeze onto the same
lounge chair, lying face-to-face, our legs entwined. Joe sneaks his hand into
my top and starts circling my nipple with his thumb, bringing it to a hard
peak. It isn’t long before he moves his mouth to my breast, and I slip my hand
down into his cargo shorts. I stroke his shaft, down and up, with a twist at the
head. He groans and – 

“Get a room, kids.
Damn!
”
Gerard shouts, pulling us from our moment. I laugh, surprised and slightly
embarrassed, abruptly pulling my hand from Joe’s shorts, the point at which he
corrects my clothing.

Gerard drops his ass on the chair
beside us, acting as though what he just saw was a typical occurrence. I lie on
my back and look across at him. “Did we have a good night, kids?” he asks, his
brows slowly rising.  

Joe’s paying him no
attention; he’s kissing me down my neck on the side that’s exposed to him. He’s
in his own world, like we’re still the only two people here. “Did
you
have a good night?” I ask, switching the topic from us. I know these guys have
gotten up to all kinds within the presence of each other, but not me.

“Oh,
yeah, fo’sho.
I take it you didn’t see
the pretty little thang that just left. She was hella hot.” There’s an air of
gloating in his tone. This guy loves to chase and conquer and he enjoys nothing
more than telling all.

“I’m not even going to
respond to that, Gerard.” Just as I’m about to turn my head, Su comes out onto
the patio and immediately after her is Dane. Su and I smile at each other, and
she says good morning to Joe as she passes us to get to the other chair. After
she reclines it, she lies down and slides on her sunglasses. Shades are a key
accessory for Su and me after a night of heavy drinking. In her case, that’s
the only indication, because she’s never anything but cheerful. She’s the most
awesome friend a girl could ask for.

Joe stops his kisses.
“Morning, Su.” She snickers at his minimal response. It isn’t even morning
anymore, but everyone seems to think it is. Joe turns my head to his and
presses his lips to mine. I know at this point we’re one of those annoying
couples who make out like crazy, paying no attention to the people around them.
Annoying, yes, but saying “No” to Joe’s lips – no way. Moving his mouth to my
ear, he whispers, “I want you to sit on my face.”

“Hah!” I guffaw and all
three gazes shoot to me. With my hand, I muffle the sound as best as I can. I
did not expect to hear that right now, especially given that I spent quite some
time before breakfast doing exactly that. Still caught up in my suppressed
chuckle, I’m vaguely aware of someone’s text alert on their cell phone.

“Shit, those two from last
night are on their way,” Dane says, loud enough to make Su, Joe and me pause at
the same time. We look over at him, sitting beside Gerard.

“No-fuckin’-way,” Gerard
says, and they both chortle in their typical we-are-so-going-to-bang-those-chicks
way. With no further words, they rush off. I assume to go and get ready.

“Unbelievable,” Su says,
shaking her head with humored disapproval.

“Those damn boys,” I say,
not that we’re surprised. This is characteristic of them, the man-whores.

“What are we going to do today?” Su asks, resting her
head back down. Joe’s gazing at me, and I know what he’s thinking, but I can’t
just drop Su like that. Zack will be here later, but until then, I’m not
disappearing. We all agree on a barbecue.

Early afternoon Gerard and Dane arrived back with two
women they met at Blaze, not the ones they brought here last night. Now we’re
all by the pool and the barbecue is lit, filling the air with the smell of
smoke and grilled chicken. I’m sitting with the girls, including our guests, at
the table under the shade, keeping a watch over the food. Joe, Adam, Dane and
Gerard are playing water volleyball. There’s low music sounding in the
background and it’s turning out to be a wonderful Saturday in every way.

Su’s talking with the
visitors, and Saffron and I are having our own chat.

“What do you think your
parents will say about you getting married?” Saffron asks.

I shrug, uncertain. “It’s so
out of the blue, I might tell my sister first and get her to break the news.”

She chuckles. “I like your
thinking, good plan.” She pauses on a sigh. “I get why you didn’t say something
about your feelings for Joe, but I wish you had. It would’ve saved you years of
delaying the inevitable. It’s obvious you two were meant to be together. I
always thought you were a good match.”

“Really?”
I look over at Joe and admire him, wet and exposed
from the waist up. He finger combs back his sodden hair – snap, capture. That’s
another one for my secret collection. Maybe I’ll tell him about it when I’m
eighty. Definitely not before, though.

“Yeah, I did. Adam told me
in confidence that Joe wanted you, and I wished you’d been available when we
all first met. You two got along so well, such great chemistry. If you’d even
just hinted it to me, I’d have told you. I couldn’t otherwise, because it was a
secret Adam shared with me. There were a couple times I was tempted, especially
when I watched you and Joe dancing together at my wedding. I wanted to cry, you
looked so right for each other and I knew how he felt. If only I knew what
you
felt.”

I remember that day,
I
wanted to cry. Joe was best man and he was devastatingly handsome in his suit.
We slow danced together and I allowed myself to hold him tight. He felt firm,
strong and incredible; my heart ached. He even carried me up to my hotel room
that night. I didn’t want him to go and for a crazy moment I almost asked him
to stay with me. I’ve cherished the memory of that day, for a number of
reasons, and it’s one of my many favorites with Joe, even if it did hurt at
certain points.

I wish I’d said something to
Saffron, shared my secret with her. It all seems like such a waste – years of
Joe and I being apart, when we didn’t have to be. I hate hindsight.

The water volleyball ends, and Joe and Adam go off to
get some more alcohol. My sleep deprivation is taking hold and everyone seems
entertained enough, so I sneak off upstairs.

I wake to soft lips skimming my right cheek. Keeping
my eyes closed, I smile knowing who it is. The teasing continues until I raise
my lids. Joe’s kneeling on the floor beside the bed, his forearms resting atop
the comforter. I glance at the clock on the nightstand. “Shit, I came up here
to take ten minutes.” Shifting onto my back, I languorously stretch myself out,
lengthening my muscles and limbs. As I release the stretch, I gaze at Joe.
“What’ve you been up to?” I ask. A smirk tugs at his lips. That’s all the
response I get. “What’ve you been up to, Joe?”

“I just got back.”

“
Just
?” He nods, and
I realize he looks proud. “Joe Williams, what’ve you been up to?” Turning onto
my side, facing him, I prop myself up on my elbow.

“Well, first I called your
dad and asked him if I could have your hand in marriage.” My eyes widen and my
jaw drops, only silence leaves my mouth. “As you can imagine – a little like
you are right now – he was surprised, because, of course, he didn’t even know
we’re together.” He snickers like he’s recalling the memory. “And he’s only met
me a few times. I explained everything and even though he thought it was
strange and kind of quick –
and
after he realized it wasn’t a joke – he
said that you never would’ve said yes if it wasn’t what you really wanted and
we have his blessing. I think it might’ve helped that your sister was there.”

My throat is tight and the
buildup of tears is stinging my eyes, but I’m holding them back. I sit up and
cross my legs in front of me. “Mom and dad know?”

He remains kneeling, but
uprights his posture with his hands braced on the comforter. He nods. “You’re
under orders to call him ASAP.”

“That’s why you’ve been gone
the whole time I was asleep?”

He shakes his head, smile
widening. Reaching into the rear pocket of his jeans, he pulls out a black
velvet box.

“Joe,” I whisper, unable to
look anywhere other than at what he’s holding.

Seriously, how much can a
girl take?

He opens the small case and
there sits the most extraordinary thing I’ve ever seen. My reaction is pretty much
traditional, my hands fly over my mouth with a, “Oh, my God.” I watch as he
eases out the ring. He takes my left hand, which is still stuck to my face, and
slowly slides the band on.

A perfect fit.

Amazed, stunned,
overwhelmed, I admire it, still speechless. It’s non-traditional and coils
around my finger like a snake made out of platinum, embedded throughout with
bright, white, round diamonds, the largest of which sits at the top, in the
center of my finger. Twisting my hand from side to side, the stunning stones
wink. “Joe, this is amazing.”

“I adore the way you look
when you see or talk about things you love,” he says, staring into my eyes.
Even after all these years his slow, smooth voice gets me.

“I don’t love anything more
than you, Joe.”

“I can’t believe you just
said that.” Utterly taken aback by my words, he buries his face in my lap, his
arms going around my hips. I lay my hands on his head and stroke his satin-soft
hair. We remain just so.

After some time, I have to
ask, “How did you get the fit so right?”

He gets up and sits beside
me. “Just before the game, I snuck up and looked in your jewelry bag. I knew
you had a ring that you sometimes wear on the same finger of your right hand,
so I took it with me. There’s a jewelry store I’ve always liked not far from
here. I was certain they’d have something for you. I didn’t expect they’d
actually have your size there today, I thought we’d have to wait.”