In A Heartbeat (The Shameful Regret Series) (8 page)

The rest of the week goes by pretty quickly. I am so excited
that Friday is finally here because that means Sly will be waiting on me at the
apartment when I get home. He is driving in today while I am at work, then
leaving to head back Sunday evening. I missed him, and I haven’t talked to him
as much throughout the week as I normally do because I have actually spending
my evenings with Connor.

My panic attack on Tuesday night didn’t frighten Connor
away. If anything, he seems even more intent on getting to know me. Connor and
I spent the last two days texting when I got a few minutes break in between
patients, and he would be waiting on me when I got finished at work. He
apparently makes his own hours at the garage he works for because he and Wade co-own
it. They share an apartment that is directly above the garage, and they use the
extra space behind the shop as a practice area for Shameful Regret. Connor and
I went out to dinner Wednesday night, but took take out back to his apartment
Thursday night.

The apartment is your typical guy’s apartment. Open kitchen
and living room, sparsely decorated with only a couch and recliner for
furniture and a huge flat screen television on one wall. It has two bedrooms,
and that’s about it.

I would spend a little while hanging around with the rest of
the guys, then once they got ready to start practicing, I headed up to the
apartment to study for my certification exam. Michelle and Gabbi came with me
on Thursday after I told them how I spent my Wednesday evening. It looks like
Wade and Gabbi are getting pretty friendly with each other. I never did ask her
what happened with them after Connor and I left Silver the other night, but I’m
happy that Gabbi and Wade are getting along so well.

Connor hasn’t tried to get too
physical with me again. I think he is afraid to scare me again, but it doesn’t
stopped him from always wanting to have an arm around my waist or holding me
close when we were together, especially when Wade and Seth are around. I love
the feel of having his arms pulling me into his side, or the way he will come
up behind me and pull me back against his chest. He really does feel like my
protector, and I am getting used to having the physical contact, in fact, I am
finding myself craving it. I am even craving for Connor to take things a little
further as well, if only I can keep my nerves out of it.

~

After pulling out of the parking garage, my phone starts
ringing. It’s Sly. “I’m on my way home, Doll Face! I’ll be there in about
twenty minutes or so.” I say immediately without offering a greeting.

“Ah, so you are coming home. I was worried that I’d be blown
off for you to see Rocker Boy again. Good to know that I didn’t bail on
Johnson’s party for no good reason.” Sly responds. If I could see him, I’m sure
he is actually pouting.

Johnson is Sly’s new roommate. I don’t know anything about
him, but it doesn’t matter. Sly is a great judge of character. I’m sure I’ll
meet him next time I go out to visit with him. I laugh at Sly’s nickname for
Connor. “You know, Rocker Boy has a name. Connor is really looking forward to
meeting you tonight. I think you’ll like him.” I really need Sly and Connor to
get along. Sly is the most important man in my life aside from Daddy, and I can
easily see Connor becoming important to me if I ever get the courage to let my
guard down. I’m trying very hard.

“Yeah, I know. Rocker Boy had better watch himself with my
girl. He hurts you, I’ll kick his ass.”

“Just be nice. Michelle should be over soon too after she
gets a shower. She’s going to dinner with us tonight before we head out to the
club.” I’m glad that Michelle will be there tonight too. She knows Sly very
well, therefore she knows his brotherly and protective instincts over me. I’m
also counting on her ability to get him to focus on her so he leaves Connor
alone. Connor doesn’t need another reason to want to get rid of me.

I hear Sly chuckle on the other end of the line. “Lord, I
have to deal with Michelle tonight too? That woman likes to push my buttons.”

“You know you love it.” I
respond. I know that Sly and Michelle have been dancing around an attraction
between them for years, I just wish they would do something about it already.

~

When I get home, Sly is sprawled across the couch, but he
jumps up as soon as I open the door. I drop my bag on the floor, running up to
him as he picks me up in huge hug swinging me around. I plant a loud smacking
kiss on Sly’s cheek when he sets me back down. “God, I missed you!”

Sly kisses me back on the forehead then walks over to pick
my bag up off the ground where I threw it. “I missed you too, Sweet Cheeks!
Especially since you’ve been ignoring me all week.”

“I have not been ignoring you! You know you’re my number one
man!” I walk up behind him to wrap my arms around his waist resting my head against
his back. “You know I love you more than anything.”

Sly turns around in my embrace to hug me back. “I know that,
baby girl, it’s just different hearing you talk about someone else in your
life. I’m happy for you, but at the same time, I have to make sure my girl is
ok.”

This is what I love about Sly. He is always looking out for
me. Growing up an only child, I wished over and over that I had a sibling, and
Sly coming into my life made up for that. He truly felt like an older brother
for me. I look up into his sparkling blue eyes and smile. “I’m going to run
grab a shower, I’m all grubby from the hospital today. Connor should be here in
about an hour or so. Let him in when he gets here.”

Sly smacks me on the ass as I walk past him out of the
kitchen. “It’s going to take you an hour to get ready? What happed to my
Lynae?” he calls after me.

I can’t help but laugh at him. He’s right. Usually when I’m
getting ready to go out with him for an evening, I’m showered and dressed in
about twenty minutes. I don’t spend time on my hair or makeup, but I want to
look nice tonight. Connor has only seen me in my “work” look since Tuesday. I
know he mentioned thinking that my glasses and scrubs were sexy, but I beg to
differ. I’m hoping having Sly with me, my confidence will boost and I’ll feel a
little more comfortable to let myself go with Connor.

I decide on a pair of black leggings, a light green colored
button down shirt that hangs just past my rear, and thick black belt for
tonight matched with my basic black ballet flats. I dry my hair and add in a
few loose curls to frame my face, but I leave it hanging down my back. I put on
Michelle’s silver hoops that she left here a few months ago, and I’m all set. I
go with a neutral makeup look because I’m nowhere near as talented with makeup
application as Gabbi, and I’m afraid if I try too much, I’ll look like a clown.

I hear two sets of male voices when I walk out of the
bathroom into my bedroom. I hear Sly’s voice saying “You mess with my girl,
I’ll kill you. I love that woman. She is my best friend, and deserves to be
treated with respect.” Connor must already be here. I glance at the alarm clock
on my nightstand; I’ve only been home for about thirty minutes. He’s early. I
worry about Connor being left alone with Sly for too long, so I hurry along my
finishing touches.

Walking out of the bedroom, I see Connor sitting on the
couch while Sly is glaring at him from the matching oversized chair. Connor
immediately stands up, walking over to me to wrap me in a warm hug. “Sweetness,
you look gorgeous.” He kisses me on the cheek, and I feel my face flame.

Connor and I haven’t gone beyond soft and sweet kisses since
Tuesday night, but I am yearning for more. I remember the commanding way his
mouth took control, the way his tongue explored my mouth, his delicious taste.
My body sways into his embrace, as I put my hands up to his chest to steady
myself. It’s a really good thing I’m not planning on wearing heels again. He is
the one who looks utterly gorgeous tonight. Connor has on loose fitting black
jeans that hang low on his hips, his black boots that I have noticed he always
wears, and a fitted white shirt with the sleeves rolled up above his elbows
allowing a hint of his tattoo to peek out. I still haven’t seen the entire
thing, and I am dying to.

Michelle lets herself into the apartment without knocking on
the door. “Where is that dumbass that keeps trying to steal my bitch?” she
hollers tossing her purse on the kitchen counter. I absolutely love the banter
between her and Sly. I wish he would move out here and just get together with
her already.

Sly jumps out of the chair, hopping over the couch to get to
Michelle. “Listen, woman! We share custody of that little girl, and you need to
learn to share! Now come here!” He pulls her into a hug that I notice lingers a
little longer than it usually does.

Connor looks from Michelle to Sly, then back down at me.
He’s wrapped his arm around my waist, and is holding me tight against his side.
“Um, is there something with these two?” he whispers in my ear. His warm breath
is tickling me, sending shivers down my spine. “Seth has been asking about
her.” He adds.

Oh no! This could be interesting tonight. There is an
obvious attraction between my two best friends, but I’m not sure they realize
it, throw in another crazy man trying to vie for Michelle’s attention, and I
think Sly may blow a gasket. He’s just as protective over her as he is me, just
in a different way. “They don’t seem to notice the tension between them, but
there is definitely something going on.” I respond looking up into Connor’s
eyes. Just looking into his eyes can make me weak in the knees.

“Babe, keep on looking at me like that. I’ve been trying to
behave myself, but when those hazel eyes give me that pleading look, it makes
it very hard.” Connor leans down brushing his lips across my own. A small sigh
escapes my lips as I open my mouth to him, which he takes full advantage of
with his probing tongue.

Before the kiss can progress, Michelle interrupts us. “Not
now you two! I’m hungry, and I want to get over to Rivers early! Gabbi is
meeting us there. I think she is having dinner with Wade, then headed over
while they set up.” Michelle looks back to Sly, “I swear, Connor can’t keep his
hands off Nae-Nae when they are together.”

I catch the scathing look that Sly shoots towards Connor.
That is not what a “big-brother” needs to hear, especially not after witnessing
me kissing another man. The entire time Sly has known me, he’s never had to see
me with anyone. Even when Matt and I had started dating before that night, Sly
wasn’t around us when we were together, so he didn’t have to see it.

Connor places one more soft kiss on my lips, “Let’s go,
Sweetness, before I don’t want to leave.” Then he leaves me standing in the
doorway of my bedroom with a smirk and my wits on the floor.

“Oh dear God! Lynae, get your ass out here and lets go.” Sly
is holding the door to my apartment open as he is ushering Michelle and Connor
out.

Trying to smile sweetly, I head towards my friends, grabbing
my purse, I walk out the door. Tonight should be interesting. I love that I’ll
get to see Connor perform again, I’ve really enjoyed watching Shameful Regret
practice, but it seems like he takes on an entirely different persona on stage.
It’s this persona that makes my heart beat faster and my insides clench with
desire, a desire that I’m having a harder and harder time trying to fight.

Sly wanted to go to Angelo’s Italian Bistro. It is his
favorite restaurant in Charleston, and it is convenient for parking and walking
to Rivers, the club that Shameful Regret is playing at tonight. It has
wonderful authentic Italian dishes and the best Tiramisu ever made. The corner
booth we were seated in makes for a very cozy atmosphere. Michelle and I slide
in first next to the wall, followed by our escorts for the evening. It is funny
watching Sly observe Connor and I. We all rode together in my Escape, so we
only have one vehicle to worry about, and Sly tried to sit up front with me out
of habit. One look from Connor had him scurrying to the back to sit with
Michelle.

Connor takes the lead ordering our wine and appetizers. He
orders a bottle of Merlot, saying that he noticed that was the only red wine I
have in my kitchen, so he figures it was my favorite, and her ordered
bruschetta for the table. Connor also keeps his hand on my thigh underneath the
table, giving it a gentle squeeze every now and again.

“So, Connor, Lynae hasn’t really told me much about you.
Seeing as I haven’t been able to get her on the phone much this week, I’d like
to make sure you’re good enough for my girl here.” Sly pins Connor with a very
stern look.

Michelle smacks Sly’s arm. “Oh, stop it. I’ve already given
him the low down that if he hurts our Nae-Nae, that we will have his balls.”

I absolutely hate that they are talking about me as if I’m
not sitting right here, but at the same time, I love the fact that my friends
are so protective of me. They may not know why I’ve kept away from the dating
scene, but they at least want to make sure I’m dating someone who isn’t going
to shred me, and Connor has the definite ability to do just that.

Connor takes the questions with ease. “Look, you don’t know
me, and Michelle doesn’t really know me. I’ve just met Lynae, but I can already
tell she is very special. I want nothing more than to make her happy and
protect her from any pain.” He gives me a knowing look as he puts his arm
around my shoulders. “I have never met anyone quite like her before. I can
sense something in her that I really want to learn more about. I get that you
love her, I love the fact that she has friends like that to depend on.”

This seems to appease Sly, because he simply nods and picks
up his menu to decide on what entrée to order. I don’t know why, he always
orders the same thing when he comes here. So do I. When our waitress came to
take our orders, he doesn’t surprise me, he chooses the baked ziti and I get
the chicken marsala. Michelle and Connor ordered lasagna and manicotti, then we
ask for extra bread. What can I say? I love my carbs.

Sly and Michelle continue their flirty banter throughout
dinner, while Connor seems to keep quiet mostly unless he is asked a direct
question. Connor is attentive to me, constantly keeping a hand on my thigh or
brushing my hair behind my ear. He even leans over to place a chaste kiss
behind my ear that makes me have anything but chaste thoughts.

Sly watches our interactions with a brotherly eye. Turning
to Michelle, he says, “I see what you mean. Rocker Boy is a little grabby
handed with our girl.”

“I told you. Know what surprises
me? The fact that our girl seems to like it.” Michelle smirks. “She’s turning
into quite the little vixen when we aren’t around.”

~

Connor tells Michelle and Sly to go on ahead of us through
the front of Rivers. He has arranged for them to get in cover free like he did
last weekend at Silver. He says that he had to help the guys set up a few
things backstage, so I went along with him.

Walking down the back alley with Connor brings back a few
memories of my last walk down one of the dark alleyways. We stop right beside
the door to the back entrance when Connor gently pushes my back against the
wall. “Sweetness, I have wanted to taste that mouth of yours again all week.
I’m sorry I couldn’t contain myself at your place.” He leans down whispering in
my ear. His lips are brushing against the sensitive spot behind my ear that he
kissed in the restaurant.

I moan at the feeling of his stubble against my skin. He
didn’t shave before he came over tonight, and I love it. My hands grasp his
hips, pulling him closer to me. I want to taste him again too.

“Connor.” I sigh.

His lips trail a path up my jaw to the corner of my lips.
“Yes, Sweetness. Do you need something?” He asks before his mouth crashes down
on mine. His tongue begs entrance by tracing the seam of my lips. I open for
him, inviting him in. My tongue tentatively enters his mouth. Tasting him,
caressing his tongue. He tastes of wine and coffee. A guttural groan vibrates
deep within his chest. Connor’s hands come up, settling in my hair, pulling my
head back. I arch up on my toes to try to get impossibly closer to him. I can
feel his arousal through his jeans pressing into my abdomen. This should
frighten me, but it only fuels the desire growing deep inside. I whimper,
helpless to the onslaught of his mouth dancing with mine.

Connor suddenly breaks our kiss with a sharp inhale of
breath. “Damn, woman. You are trying to kill me here.” He leans down, rubbing
his nose over my cheek. His breathing is as ragged as my own. I feel empowered
that I have affected him as much as I have.

I can’t get my voice to work. I just stare up at him. I am
so glad that the wall behind me is holding me up, and I have Connor’s body
pressed against my front. I know I would surely fall.

“Let’s go on in before I take you right here, right now,
against the bricks. And trust me, Sweetness, that is not how I want it to go.”
Connor straightens himself up to his full height, then adjusts his pants, I
suppress a giggle knowing that it was me that made him be in that predicament.
I’m sure Seth and Wade would have something smart to say about it. Marcus
hasn’t really talked to me much since that night at Silver, even when I’ve been
over at Connor’s for the band’s practice. “Go on, laugh at me. Don’t think I
won’t do it, either.”

I look down at my shoes. His words don’t make me feel
threatened; they make me feel truly wanted. “Alright, I want to get back to
Michelle and Sly. He’s only here until Sunday, and I need to spend some time
with him.” I stand up on my tiptoes kissing Connor squarely on the lips. This
is the first kiss I initiated, it doesn’t go unnoticed by him either as he
tries to deepen the kiss again, but I push him back. “You said we needed to get
inside. Don’t you have equipment to set up?” I bat my eyelashes at him.

“You are evil, Babe.” Connor’s
rich laugh melts my heart a little more, chipping away at the walls surrounding
my heart.

~

“Nae-Nae’s here!” Seth bellows from behind his drum kit on
the floor. Great! A few hours alone with Gabbi, she has him calling me that
blasted nickname. “Connor, quit keeping Nae-Nae all to yourself. She has yet to
tell me how great my ass is today!” Seth walks around his drums to pull me into
a big embrace that he has developed a fondness for doing. I think it’s just a ploy
to feel my chest smashed against his, and to piss off Connor. Connor’s face
gets this angry edge to him anytime someone other than him touches me.

I hug Seth back, because I really have no other choice. He
won’t put me back down unless I return the embrace. “Let me go!” I playfully
smack his arm.

Connor stalks up behind me placing a possessive arm around
me, pulling me back into his chest. I rest my head back against his shoulder
contentedly. “Where the hell is Wade?” Connor asks looking around.

Gabbi and Wade pick that moment to come out of some office
off the side hallway. Gabbi is straightening out her shirt and trying to smooth
her hair back into place. Wade has a devious grin plastered on his face. There
is no need to guess what they have been up to. “Nae-Nae!” Gabbi bounds up to me
enveloping me and Connor in a big hug. I’m smashed between them in a Gabbi and
Connor sandwich.

“Damn man! Connor gets all the play!” Wade sulks up to pry
Gabbi off me. “I’d love to be in the middle of you two. I can tell Connor to
take a hike tonight ladies!”

Oh good Lord! What Gabbi sees in that man is beyond me, but
she looks happy, and that is all that matters to me. Wade is obnoxious, crude
and an impossible flirt. Gabbi is too, so I guess that makes them a good match.

“Why don’t you go on out front with Sly and Michelle? I have
to talk to Wade and Marcus about a few things. Ok, babe?” Connor asks.

Seth perks up with the mention of Michelle. “Who is Sly? Did
Michelle bring a date?” He looks like a lost little puppy at the prospect of
her being here with another guy.

Ignoring Seth, I spin around in Connor’s arms. “Yeah, baby,
no problem. I kiss him softly on the lips before I turn to drab Gabbi out front
with me.

Connor smacks my behind when I walk away from him. “I love it
when you call me baby!” he calls out; I give him a wink over my shoulder.

As he did last Saturday, Connor has reserved a table
directly beside the stage near the doors. This is great because it means we
don’t have much of a crowd to fight through to find where we will be stationed
while Shameful Regret performs. It is awesome to not have to worry about where
we will be, and trying to have someone constantly at our table on the lookout
for our belongings. I recall Michelle and Gabbi complaining about that all the
time on the nights that they had gone out and I refused to go.

I spot Sly immediately. He’s hard to miss. Standing a solid
6’2’’ tall and weighing close to 220 pounds of pure muscle he doesn’t blend
into a crowd. Short spiky hair and bright blue eyes make him an instant magnet
for the throngs of women at the club tonight. Michelle must have wandered off
to the bar because I don’t see her, and if she were here, I’m sure that Sly
wouldn’t be surrounded by the three girls who are wearing barely enough fabric
to cover their assets. I raise my eyebrow at him in question. His response is
his dazzling smile and a wink. He excuses himself form his admirers and comes
my way leaving the girls pouting pathetically. Gabbi has wandered off in search
of drinks and Michelle.

“There’s my girl!” Sly holds his arms open for me and I go
into his embrace willingly. “Rocker Boy too busy with his backstage groupies to
have you hanging around?”

“It’s not like that, Sly!” I huff. “You don’t know him.”

“And neither do you. You just met this guy last week and you
already seem like a different person.” Sly counters.

I look up at my best friend. “Yeah, Connor does make me feel
different. He makes me feel like it’s ok to live. I’ve been hiding for so long.
I can’t do it anymore.”
Crap!
I didn’t mean to let that much slip out of
my mouth. I quickly look away. Sly can always see right through me. “Let’s just
go over to the table. I wanna be up front when Connor comes out.” I start
walking away.

Sly can sense my reluctance to continue that line of
conversation, so he follows behind me, letting the subject drop. Michelle and
Gabbi saunter back over with shot glasses in their hands. “Lemon Drops!”
Michelle exclaims passing them over to us.

“Damn women and their girly ass drinks.” Sly groans as he
tips the shot back with a sour face.

This is my first shot. I’ve only ever really drunk wine, but
the last few drinks that Michelle has ordered for me have all tasted pretty
good. So, here goes nothing. I throw the shot back letting the tart lemon
flavor glide down my throat. It’s much stronger than the lemontini that she
gave me last week, but it is still quite yummy.

“That’s enough for you, Sweet Cheeks.” Sly comes to stand
behind me, wrapping his harms around my shoulders so they are resting under my
neck across my collarbone. I relax into him, bringing my hands up to grip his
strong forearms. Sly is like my own personal security blanket. I notice
Michelle starts dancing around to the beat of the music, Sly keeps a watchful
eye on her. She is like the Energizer Bunny, she doesn’t know how to sit still.

The guys start to make their way on stage with the same
dramatic flair as the last time I saw them. Wade makes obscene gestures with
his tongue, although this time, they are directed more towards Gabbi. Marcus
walks out with a wink and a wave in my direction, but Seth has to be the
obnoxious one. When he comes out, he yells out “I love you, Nae-Nae!” then
points to Sly when he notices his arms around me. “Get your hands off my piece
of ass!”

Luckily for Seth, he ducks before Connor can hit him this
time. He quickly retreats to his drum set towards the back of the stage while
Connor glides to his microphone stand, his eyes raking over my body. He is
noticeably tense, but relaxes when I step out of Sly’s arms. He touches below
his left eye then points at me mouthing the word “Sweetness” and I practically
melt into a puddle on the spot.

Shameful Regret’s set is just as amazing this time as it was
the last two times I saw them. They even sing some of the new material that I
heard them working on this week. I don’t think I will ever tire of listening to
Connor’s voice. The deep richness combined with his intense gaze is a potent
mixture.