In Blood and Worth Loving 3 Kiss Cover (26 page)

* * *

Desiree woke with a feeling of dread the next morning after a restless night. A quick glance at the opposite side of the bed revealed what she already knew; Conner had not slept with her.

For one frightening moment, she feared that he
’
d left her there
as Brandi had told her Adrian had once done. The feeling quickly dissipated. No matter how angry he was, he wouldn
’
t leave her alone and unprotected after Hartford had raped her.

She rose and went into the bathroom to shower and dress. Then, lured by the slightly sickening aroma of brewing coffee, she went down to the kitchen. The coffee pot was half-filled and there was a covered dish on the warming burn
er
.

Conner stood in the open doorway, staring out to the path leading into the forest. He had the look of a full-blood who wanted to be anywhere but there with her.

She ached to rush across the kitchen and fling herself into his arms but knew he would not welcome that. What could she say to draw him back to her?

He turned around to face her.

She saw the cold, distant look in his eyes. Nothing. She could say nothing to rein him back in.

“
When were you going to tell me?
”

“
When was I going to tell you what?
”
she asked, stalling for time.

He walked across the kitchen to place his hand on her stomach.
“
When were you going to tell me
you’re pregnant
?
”

Oh God. She
’
d done the unthinkable; waiting so long he
’
d discovered the truth before she could tell him herself.
“
I was waiting for formal conf
i
r
m
ation from a doctor. I don
’
t have that yet.
”

“
But you are pregnant.
”

She nodded.
“
Yes. I am.
”

“
Fuck!
”

“
How did you know?
”

He removed his hand from her belly and stepped back.
“
Your blood told me.
”

“
My blood told you?
”

“
I
’
ve suspected for the last two weeks but last night, I knew because the taste, texture, aroma, and consistency are markedly different.
”

“
I see.
”

“
What are you going to do about it?
”

“
Do? What do you mean what am I going to do?
”
But of course she knew what he meant.

“
When are you going to terminate the pregnancy?
”

Even though she had known that
’
s what he
’
d expect her to do, still hearing the actual words nearly broke her heart. She shook her head and walked over to s
i
t
at the table. She placed her hands flat on the top and stared down at the engagement ring glittering on her finger.

“I’m waiting, Desiree.”

“
I
’
m not
killing my baby.
”
She
lifted her head and stared at him with a defiant look in her eyes.

“
The hell you aren
’
t!
”

“
That
’
s right, Conner. The hell I
’
m not!
”

He slammed the door shut and leaned against it.
“
I am not going to shelter and protect a rapist
’s
baby.
”

Damn him and damn her for being foolish enough to get herself fired so she could spend a few weeks with him.
“
I don
’
t recall asking you to do either o
f those things
.
”

“
You
’
re going to have to terminate the pregnancy, Desi.
”

“
No. I
’
m not.
”

“
You can
’
t keep his baby and have a relationship with me too.
”

“
You don
’
t mean that.
”

“
The hell I don
’
t.
”

She shook her head.
“
Please don
’
t say that
,
Conner.
”

“
It
’
s already said. I am not going to raise a rapist
’
s child.
”

“
I
’
m not aborting this baby. So where does that leave us?
”

“
You might want to take a little time to rethink your position.
”

“
You take some to rethink yours
!
No amount of time is going to change my mind.
I am not aborting this baby.
”

He stalked across the room to stare down at her.
“
Why the fuck would you want to have your rapist
’
s baby?
”

Looking up into his angry gaze, she suspected he
’
d soon suggest that she hadn
’
t really been raped.
“
You have two brothers, one of them a twin. You have no idea what it
’
s like to be the only child of two only children who are now dead. I have no close relatives. Now I have a baby growing inside me. I deeply regret the way the baby was conceived and I wish to God it had happened for you and me, but I will not…I cannot abort the life growing inside me.
”

He swallowed several times and closed his eyes briefly.
“
Fine. Carry it to term and then get rid of it.
”

“
Get rid of it?
”
As he
’
d gotten rid of Jane and
their
child?
“
Kill it?
”

He frowned.
“
Of course not!
Once it’s born that would be out of the question. You can p
ut it up for adoption…give it
to
someone desperate for a child.
”

“
You think I could just give my baby away to strangers?
”

“
We
’
d make sure they were all right. Don
’
t forget I can probe their thoughts and Max could thoroughly investigate their backgrounds. We
’
d make sure they would be good parents.
I give you my word I’ll monitor the situation to ensure the baby is treated well and loved.
”

“
Are you nuts? You think I could just give my child away and then what? Go on as if he never existed? You expect me to give up what might be my one chance to be a mother and pretend it never happened?
”

“
You can
’
t have us both, Desiree.
”

“
Conner
–
”

“
You have to choose.
”

What male worth the name would ask a woman to choose between him and her child? What woman worth the name would have any problem making the right choice? She sucked in a breath and stared down at her ring for several long moments before she
gave him her answer. She
removed t
he ring and
placed it on the table.

“
I am not aborting the baby nor am I giving it up when it
’
s born. This is
–
”

He gripped her shoulders and lifted her to her feet.
“
You
’
d end our relationship so you can keep your rapist
’
s baby?
”

She jerked away from him.
“
I
’
m not the one ending it, Conner. You are and it
’
s not just his baby. It
’
s mine too. I can understand you
’
re not liking or even hating his child, but why can
’
t you even try to remember that it
’
s part of me too? Do I really mean so little to you that you want to be rid of the part of the baby that
’
s mine?

“
Can
’
t you even try to support me?
”

“
The thought of you embracing his child repulses me.
”

She fought to keep her gaze free of tears.
“
Then I guess there
’
s nothing else to say except to ask you to please take me home.
”

He shrugged.
“
I
’
m already packed.
”

So he
’
d already made his damned decision. Tears filled her gaze as she realized she would have to raise her child alone. She
’
d also need to relocate because the thought of seeing Conner even infrequently held little appeal.

She rose and left the kitchen to return to the bedroom. Instead of allowing herself the luxury of a good cry, she packed her suitcases and then sat on the side of the bed to call Max.

“
I know it
’
s a lot to ask, but I don
’
t want to put Adrian or Jayvyn in the middle and I just can
’
t face the long drive back with Conner. Will you come and get me?
”

“
Of course I will. Where
is he
?
”

“
Downstairs.
”

“
If you’re sure you want me to come–
”

“I am.”

“Then
I
’
ll call him and tell him I
’
m on my way.
”

“
Thank you
,
Max.
”

“
No thanks necessary. I believe Sin already told you that if you found you needed help and the Redwolfe
s
weren
’
t available, that you could depend on us. As a family, we will stand by you and with you, honey. I
’
m leaving now and will see you in about two hours.
”

“
Thanks,
”
she said and ended the call as her voice broke. She sat on the side of the bed and allowed the tears to stream down her cheeks. Not much in her life had gone right since Larry
’
s death and apparently that wasn
’
t going to chan
g
e any time soon.

Ten minutes later, the bedroom door opened and Conner stalked in.
“
Why did you call Max? I would have taken you home.
”

“
I know, but I…
”
She wiped her cheeks and sighed.
“
I
’
d rather not see you again.
”

“
You
’
d rather not see me again?
”
He stared at her.
“
Why the fuck are you doing this, Desiree?
”

“
I
’
m not going to change my mind, Conner and I suspect you won
’
t either. So seeing you again is just going to be too painful for me. Sin-Bad told me that if I needed help, I could depend on him and his brothers. Since I didn
’
t want to put Adrian and Jay in a difficult position, I called Max.
”

He surprised her by crossing the room and kneeling at her feet.
“
I can
’
t do what you want me to.
”

She nodded.
“
I know and I can
’
t do what you want me to either.
”

“
I
’
m asking you to reconsider, but I
’
m not going to beg, Desiree.
”

“
I wouldn
’
t expect you to, Conner. After all, it
’
s not like you
’
re really in love with me.
”

He inhaled sharply.

She touched her stomach.
“
A part of me wants to do as you ask because I love you so much I ache with it. A part of me hates the part of him that
’
s growing in me, but I don
’
t hate it more than I love the other part. I keep telling myself that doing this defies logic. I can
’
t explain why but I
’
m going to keep and love this baby all the more because I have to give you up to do it.
”
Her eyes watered and tears rolled down her cheeks.

He rose and walked over to stare out the window.
“
Just so there
’
s no misunderstanding, Desiree. I know you lost your job to come here with me and I
’
ll make sure you don
’
t suffer for it financially.
”
He turned back to look at her.
“
You won
’
t have to worry about healthcare for you and…you won
’
t have to worry about finances. And you won
’
t have to depend on the Stoners
’
good graces or anyone else
’
s.
”
He walked across the room to look down at her.
“
I
’
ll wait downstairs until Max arrives.
”

She stared up at him, her throat tight with the effort to hold back more tears.

He touched her cheek.
“
I hope you
’
ll be happy because I sure
as hell
won
’
t.
”
He turned and walked out, closing the door behind him.

She laid on the bed, buried her face in the pillow and sobbed herself to sleep.

When she woke, she found Max sitting in a chair by the bed watching her. She bolted up and glanced around the room.
“
Where is Conner?
”

“
He left half an hour ago when I arrived.
”

Then it was over. She bit her lip.
Oh Conner.

Max reached in his pocket and held out an envelope.
“
He asked me to give this to you.
”

She took it.

Max leaned down to kiss her cheek.
“
I
’
ll wait for you downstairs. Come down whe
n
you
’
re ready. Or if you need me up here, call me.
”

“
Thank you.
”

He smiled and left her alone.

She opened the envelope. Inside was an ATM card and a bank statement in her name with a balance of five million dollars. She blinked and stared at it for several minutes.
That
’
s five hundred thousand dollars, silly. Not five million. He
’
s generous but he
’
s not crazy.
Five hundred thousand would ensure she could continue to pay for her health plan and be able to stay home with the baby for at least a year before she had to go back to work.

He wasn
’
t very supportive emotionally but at least he
’
d kept his promise to ensure she didn
’
t suffer financial disaster for her decision to give up her job to spend a few weeks with him. He
’
d given her the equivalent of over eleven years of her current salary. That was far more than she
’
d hoped for.

About to fold the statement and slip it back in its envelope, she counted the zeroes again and her heart thudded. Oh God. There were six zeroes behind the five. It was five million dollars!

Oh Conner if you care enough to give me this kind of money why can
’
t you try to love the baby for my sake?

When she joined Max downstairs an hour later, he took her suitcases from her and escorted her out to his SUV. He waited until they were both seated inside and he
’
d started the engine before he turned to look at her.
“
Just so you know, Hartford
’
s dead.
”

She turned to stare at him.
“
When?
”

“
Just after you and Conner left
to come up here
. I tracked his ass down and gave him what he deserved.
”

She inhaled slowly and felt…nothing.

“
What
’
s wrong?
”
he asked.

She frowned.
“
Nothing. I just thought I
’
d feel some regret when I heard the news, but I don
’
t.
”

“
Why would you feel regret?
”

She shrugged.
“
Because I
’
m carrying his baby. That should inspire some feeling of regret at his death. Shouldn
’
t it?
”

“
Apparently not,
”
he said.

“
And does the Brotherhood know that Conner didn
’
t do it?
”

“
They do. When I found him, he was with three
of his so–called bodyguards
. Two of them were the bastards who were with him when he raped you. I killed
them too, but
left one alive so they
’
d know just who did it.
”

She clutched his arm.
“
Are you sure you
’
ll be all right, Max?
”

He patted her hand.
“
My brothers and I have survived countless attempts to kill us by forces far superior to anything Boucaro can throw at us. He
’
s dead, Conner didn
’
t do it, and you
’
ve been avenged. Strangely enough, Conner was pissed when I told him. He
’
d been waiting for Brandi to deliver before he killed Hartford
himself
. He
’
s feeling doubly bad at the moment.

“
He
’
s lost you and had the right to punish Hartford for hurting you. I know you
’
re going through some serious shit yourself, honey, but remember that and try not to think too badly of him.
”

“
I love him and probably always will,
”
she said, staring straight ahead.

“
Chandra and the rest of us want you to feel free to stay with us for as long as you need.
”

“
Thanks
so much
,
but
now that Hartford
’
s dead and it
’
s safe…it is safe for me. Isn
’
t it?
”

“
Oh yes. Believe it or not we have rules of etiquette. Boucaro knows damned well he should never have sanctioned Hartford raping the blood of another full-blood. He knows that if he even thinks about touching you, he
’
d bring the wrath of the full-blood community down on his ass.
And I would make it my personal mission is life to rip his putrid heart out.”