In My Shoes (18 page)

“I don’t think this is the right time.”

“I do!” Mike interrupted. “So, do you want
the before school story first or the P.E. story?”

Nicole groaned, mostly to herself.

“You mean I have two stories to choose from?
Am I in any trouble?”

“No, thanks to me,” he said proudly.

Nicole was looking down. What could be so
bad?

“Alright, I’m less and less sure I want to
hear this, but why don’t you start from the beginning,” I said.

“You mean when I got to your house this
morning and Nicole was hurriedly washing your sheets?”

Nicole’s…well…my face turned beat red.

“Why were you washing…ohhhh.”

I felt a little bad for her and embarrassed
at the same time. After all, it was my body.

“Okay, so what happened in P.E.?”

Both of them looked at me funny, like neither
of them expected that response. Nicole seemed surprised, if not
relieved. Mike seemed disappointed, but he recovered quickly.

“Well nothing really, if you don’t count that
she started sporting a wood in the shower.”

“You what?” I said, with evident panic in my
voice.

Right after I said it, I thought she was
going to cry. She turned even redder than before and she put her
head down.

“It’s not like I meant to. I was trying
really hard not to look at anyone, you know down there, but I saw a
guy I knew. I barely had the thought of curiosity before I realized
I had looked. Then, all of a sudden the thing just started, you
know, growing. Well, once it started I didn’t know what to do, I
mean I don’t know how to control it. Now I know why people say they
have a mind of their own.”

I was trying hard to get over the initial
panic, because I did feel bad for her. She was doing that fast
talking thing she seemed to do when she was nervous. In the end, it
was my reputation that was on the line, though, so I tried to
compose myself to ask how this ended.

“Okay, so does this story end badly or did
nobody notice?”

“I think you’re cool, dude. I saw the freak
on her face…well, your face, noticed the problem and snapped her
with my towel.”

“Which really hurt, by the way,” Nicole
interjected.

“Yeah, but it worked, didn’t it?” he
asked.

“I guess so. After that, everything…went back
to normal pretty quickly.”

I was relieved. I think it showed, because
Nicole seemed to relax a bit after that. Mike seemed satisfied,
too. It’s a little twisted how he takes pleasure in watching people
squirm.

“We’ve got to get to class. I’ll see you both
after school. We’ll meet at my locker.”

They both looked at me. “Jake’s locker.”

After lunch, fifth and sixth period seemed to
go by without incident. The bell rang, I left Nicole’s government
class, stopped at her locker to get her books and headed for my old
locker.

Mike and Nicole were already there when I
arrived to Nicole smacking Mike upside his head.

“Ow! Sorry…I forgot, okay?”

“What’s going on?” I asked, a little
confused. I’m sure I must have looked irritated.

“Well,” Nicole started, “it seems that your
friend has temporarily forgotten our current situation. As we were
watching you walk up, he started telling me just exactly what he’d
like to do to me. What was it you said Mike…you’d like to tap that?
Which makes it really gross since you’d technically be tapping your
best friend.”

“Mike,” I said with disgust in my tone.

“I’m sorry. I forgot she was you for a
minute.”

“Yeah, but you know I don’t like it when you
talk like that anyway…about anyone, but especially about
Nicole.”

That made everyone quiet, and Nicole and I
both turned red.

“It was a joke. Sue me!” Mike said, breaking
the silence.

We left that conversation alone after that.
We started heading out of school, when Mike broke the silence
again.

“So,” he said, looking my way, “you comin’
over today?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said.
“Not today, anyway.”

“Why not?”

“He’s probably afraid of what you’d try and
do to him,” Nicole said, the corners of her mouth, well my mouth,
turning up slightly.

“Ha…ha…ha,” Mike retorted.

“Really, I have a lot of studying to do with
Nicole. We still need to try and work out some kinks, and really…it
doesn’t seem like a good idea for it to look like you and Nicole
are hanging out. We’ll get together soon, but Nicole and I will
both have to come.”

“Dude, we haven’t hung out in forever.”

“I know, but it’s been a little…difficult
lately. Maybe tomorrow or the next day, okay?”

“I guess. Later then.”

“Later, Mike.”

He headed to his car, and we headed to
Nicole’s. We both got in, I started the engine and started backing
out.

“Do you want to study at my house today?” I
asked.

“Sure.”

We drove in silence for most of the way, both
of us lost in the peaceful moment, collecting ourselves.

We arrived at my house and headed inside.

“Do you want something to eat or drink?” she
asked, taking on the role as host of my house.

I smiled at her. “I’m fine, thanks. By the
way, tonight would be a night I would cook for my mom.”

“No problem. I’ll take care of it.”

“I can help,” I offered.

“That’s okay. I really don’t mind.”

I was still smiling and she noticed.

“What?”

“I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About how I was right about you,” I said a
little shyly.

“How do you mean?”

I hesitated.

“What?” she pressed.

“Okay, don’t get all funny about this,
but…it’s obvious you are pretty and everything, but you never
really know what a person is like until you get to know them.”

“Uh-huhhh.”

“Well, I had a feeling that you were one of
those girls who was genuine…not full of herself. I was right.”

I don’t think she knew what to say. She was
quiet for a moment, so I decided to try and change the course.

“Don’t worry, there’s no deeper meaning to
it. So…”

“No…thank you. That was very nice, and I
appreciate it.”

I smiled.

“So,” I continued, “the rest of my day went
pretty well. Did you have any problems?”

“No, everything went pretty well after this
morning. How embarrassing. I mean, it was bad enough that it
happened, but for Mike to come in and, I don’t even know how he put
it all together.”

“He put it all together because it’s happened
to him. He just jokes about it. I don’t think he gets embarrassed
about anything.”

“How about you?”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “Do I get
embarrassed?”

“Well, I was meaning does it happen to you,
but I guess I’m curious about both questions.”

“Yeah, I get embarrassed…like now for
instance.”

“Why are you embarrassed now?”

“Because we’re talking about my body and
things we’ve both experienced in my body.”

“So, you have had it happen?”

“Yes, I’ve had it happen. I would guess most
guys have, but guys don’t go around talking about it. I think it’s
a pretty natural thing, but it’s frustrating because there’s never
a good time for it to happen.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of gross,” she added.

“Thanks!” I said, trying to laugh it off.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“It’s okay,” I said shaking my head, “it
is
gross.”

She was quiet for a minute before she started
the conversation again.

“So…any ideas on how I can control this thing
in the showers?”

“Yeah, that’s kind of a unique problem. I
mean, I’m pretty sure all of the other guys in there are actually
guys. At least, I think that’s the case,” I said smiling. “I think
you’re the only girl in a guy’s body, which means you’re probably
the only one in there who gets excited at the sight of naked
guys.”

“Thanks!”

“Well, it’s true. It’s a normal
emotion…you’re just in the wrong body to be having it. You need to
try and distract yourself.”

“I’ve tried, but it’s getting har…more
difficult,” she said, correcting herself. “I didn’t have any
problem before today, but now it’s like I’m more aware of it since
this morning. Every time I think about it, the darn thing goes
up!”

I was thinking about what to tell her and not
coming up with a lot of answers. It’s difficult having this
conversation with Nicole, yet she didn’t seem nearly as
awkward.

“What?” she asked after a minute.

“It’s just, how are you so comfortable
talking about this?”

“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t say I’m
comfortable. I’m just used to talking about things. Usually it’s
with my girlfriends, but in this case it seems appropriate to talk
about it with you. It is
your
body, after all. I figure, if
anyone knows how it works, it would be you. I don’t really get too
embarrassed because…well, we can’t really control some of the
things our bodies do. Now, if there’s a mental way to fix this, I’m
all ears.”

“I don’t really know. I think the best thing
you can do is just get…real familiar with mine.” Did I just say
that? “What I mean is, they’re all pretty much the same. If you’re
used to seeing mine, others probably won’t seem like such a big
deal. I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud. I’m not really used
to talking about this stuff.”

“I appreciate it. As uncomfortable as that
advice is, I’ll take any advice at the moment.”

“Try thinking about calculus in the shower,
too. Can’t hurt.”

“True,” she said. That was the end of that
conversation, thankfully.

We spent the next several hours doing
homework, talking about our classes and practicing our handwriting
and anything else we could think of. We’d exchanged notes on
friends that we didn’t see as often, just in case. We shared
everything we could think of. It didn’t take long for me to feel
more comfortable talking with Nicole than I did with anyone else.
She didn’t tease or criticize me, and when she would laugh at me,
it didn’t make me feel stupid.

I had a girlfriend a few years ago. She
actually asked
me
out. I’m kind of selective, so I hadn’t
asked anyone out until Nicole. But when I first met this girl,
Katie, we would stay on the phone all night talking about anything
and everything, just so we could hear each others’ voices it
seemed. That is how this felt. Comfortable and new. We seemed to
click…just like I thought we would. Anyway.

“Wow!” she said, startling me. “It’s five
o’clock already?”

“I could stay and help,” I offered. Part of
me wanted to continue talking with Nicole, but a bigger part of me
wanted to see my mother.

“Thank you, but you’ve got a role to play,
too. I think it’s safe to spend more time together at school, after
school and on the weekends, but if we start spending all of our
weeknights together, we’re going to start sending the wrong message
to everyone. My girlfriends are going to start feeling avoided
soon.”

“How so?” I asked.

“Sometimes, during the week, I’ll get
together with them. After I’m done studying, of course. They’ll
call you a lot of the time, but make sure you call them
sometimes.”

“Who do you usually call? What do you
do?”

“I call Jess the most, but I call Caryn and
Meredith pretty often too. We go to movies, as long as we’re home
by ten, get together and listen to music, go to the mall…really it
doesn’t matter. We just like to get together.”

I started packing up my things. “Okay, well I
guess I’ll get going.”

She started walking me to the door. “This is
strange.”

“What’s strange…other than everything right
now?” she said, smiling.

“You, walking me out in my own house.”

She smiled and gave an expression
acknowledging the strangeness of the situation.

“Okay, so I have all of the clothes set up in
the closet for you. I think I have a dress for you tomorrow. Blue
with a splash of yellow swirls for accent.”

“I think I’ve seen you in that dress. You
look good in it. I mean…you know…not that…”

She smiled. “Relax.”

I smiled back. “Oh, I almost forgot,” I said
as she opened the door, “skirts and dresses. How do you maneuver
them in the bathroom?”

“Oh. Sorry. Skirts are like shorts. You
shouldn’t have any trouble with them. Dresses…pull the dress up
over your backside and then pull it forward, so you have the
material bunched in the front and tight in the back. You’ll get the
knack for it pretty quickly.”

“Thanks, I’ll try that. See you tomorrow,” I
said, leaving.

On the way to Nicole’s house, I heard her
phone ring and I answered, hesitantly.

“Hello?”

“Hey Nikki, it’s Jess.”

“Hey, Jess. What’s up?”

“Caryn, Meredith and I want to go to the
movies tonight. Can you come?”

I know that Nicole said I needed to spend
time with her friends, but I’m not ready. Mike knows what’s going
on, so Nicole doesn’t have to worry about slipping up. I do.

“I’d love to go to the movies, but I can’t
tonight.”

“How come? Do you have to study with Jake?”
she asked, with a little hint of teasing to her tone.

“No, I don’t have to study with Jake,” I
said, returning the playful tone. “I do have to study, though.”
This was actually true, but I didn’t have that much more to study
tonight.

“Well, what about tomorrow night? We haven’t
seen you much, lately.”

“Okay. We’ll go out tomorrow night. What do
you want to do?”

“Maybe the girls will wait to go to the
movies tomorrow. I’ll ask them. If not, let’s go to the mall. We’ll
go guy shopping.”

“Uhh…okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Bye,
Jess.”

“Bye!”

Guy shopping. What the heck is that?