In Search of Satisfaction (44 page)

“Well, Lovey, you have always been in part of my mind. I never imagined it would be like this, together. You were a child to me. And being like you … are, I might never have attempted to get to know your mind … and heart better. But now I have. And what have legs
got to do with how you feel? You have many things to love, Lovey. And I have learned, when your mind tells you something and your body agrees, you better go with it!” They laughed together. Both of them happy.

A week later, when Lincoln left to go back to his job at Phillip’s mansion, Lovey went with him, as his wife. Pap, the old dog, was taken, too. Lovey was almost speaking Chinese she was so happy. They were both happy. Satisfied with life.

h
osanna saw their happiness. She knew Lovey had been a virgin for Lincoln. “I have two legs and I am still lonely and unloved. Billy Bow is going to have to go. I can’t take anymore of his kind of life. I’m NOT going to take it! I deserve better and it’s up to me to carry myself like I believe it!” So she decided to leave Bowlegs alone and told him. He didn’t believe her so he didn’t even worry. He told his friends, “I love her, I’m gonna get to her someday. Get married and all that stuff.” And like the grasshopper, he kept laughing and playing his life away. He either thought he was satisfied or he thought satisfaction and opportunity would wait for him to make up his mind.

n
ow … Luke and Richlene had a pleasent kind of love and life. It was slow, easygoing and, for the most part, satisfying. Their lovemaking was gentle and complete. But Luke had done all the building, was keeping up the vegetable and flower gardens, yet was still growing restless. He was a man used to working and did not like just doing nothing. He was young.

One day while Luke and Richlene were working in the flower garden, he said to her, “Richlene … I’m going to find me a job. I want a job. I think I got a few plans I want to do.”

Richlene smiled indulgently, “Luke you … don’t have to … work. I have … more than enough … for us.”

Luke stopped digging and looked at her. “Richlene, you ever think of the fact that if I die first, you’ll be alright cause your family can take care of you and you got money.”

“I never … think of … that … but, it’s … true.”

Luke knelt close to her. “Well, if you die first, I’ll have to start out all over again, and I maybe might be a old man cause I hope you live a long time.”

Richlene was silent, thinking.

Luke continued as he placed a hand on her arm, “I want me somethin of my own. A business, a store, grocery or somethin. If I go to work, I can get me a piece of land and build me a store.”

Richlene looked at his earnest face and laughed, “I’ll … buy you … a store!”

Luke hugged her shoulder. “I reckon I betta do it all myself. Cause some people think it’s your money I love.”

“But … you never … ask me … for anything for … yourself.”

“We know that, but everybody else don’t.”

Satan almost smiled, but it wasn’t important enough.

So Luke found little jobs on both sides of the river and began saving his money. When he had enough to purchase a couple of acres of land across from his old home near the river, he did. He did not know that Richlene had bargained with the owner and paid most of the money while Luke was given a sale price much lower than it would have been. He thought it was just good luck.

He kept working which made Richlene very unhappy because he was home with her less. He was working now for lumber and material to build his store. Richlene bargained with the lumberyard without Luke’s knowledge and he got some very good deals. “Let him … get … through … with this … thing,” Richlene frowned impatiently.

Then Emily began coming home for vacations when she was not doing small work in her brother Phillip’s law offices as an apprentice. She would not go to visit her mother on the Indian land, she wanted her mother to come home to “our house,” she said. Emily began to explain to Richlene that she would soon be graduating and be coming often to Yoville, perhaps with a husband and she could not, WOULD not introduce Luke to anyone as her stepfather.

Satan did smile this time. “A problem in the making!”

“You have done this long enough, Mother! You have had your way. Now it is time to think of me!” She raised her eyes to the ceiling as she said the next words, “I know Luke makes you happy.” She looked back at her mother, saying slowly, “But it makes me unhappy. I need you at home. Alone. Carlton will soon be moving back here. He is thinking of it right now. He plans to renew this old house. Now I must be here to protect my interest, and you must be here to help me.” Emily knew the
words sounded cold, so she reached her warm hand out to caress her mother’s back that had sadly bent lower and lower with each word.

Richlene, head bent low, spoke softly, “I won’t … I won’t … leave Luke.”

Emily did not give up. Each time she saw Richlene she battered her with words about the love and respect she was supposed to have for her only daughter. Phillip did not interfere. He wanted his mother to be happy, but he was more used to her now and her every wish was no longer his command. He spoke to her thus, “You can go back to Luke and your house on the Indian land whenever you wish. The only change will be that this is your real home. I would like you to even visit me on my estate in the East. I would like to take you on my travels sometime. But, Mother, dammit dear! I like Luke, very much. It is not his color. It’s just … where would he fit in? among our friends?”

“You take Lincoln … with … you in … your business.”

“Lincoln is different. He … fits in. He thinks like I do, most of the time. And really, he’s always rushing off to be with his own people.”

Richlene looked at the son she dearly loved. “Luke thinks … like I … do. Where … would … I fit … in? I … can … hard … ly be fascin … ating company.”

Phillip took her in his arms, “You are my mother, that is enough.”

l
uke’s store was full of supplies, he was busy and happy. He noticed Richlene was not smiling much anymore. She looked so thoughtful with the new lines creasing her brow. He hugged her, held her more often.

Lil Wisdom noticed the difference in Richlene when she brought some homemade bread to their house. She did not ask any questions though. She liked Richlene better now, and she did not want to interfere. But she watched Richlene’s face when she said, “I am going to ask Luke to let me work for him in the store on days I am not teaching the children.”

Richlene looked across the table at Lil Wisdom, seeing her youth and beauty. Her eyes filled with tears that moved slowly down her face. Lil Wisdom got up quickly, moving around to Richlene, placing her arm
around her shoulders. “I will not ask him if you do not wish me to. I will not say a word.”

Richlene looked gratefully at Lil Wisdom. “No … no … It is best … that you ask him … and … help him. I know … you … love him.”

“But I love you, too. You are kind.”

They held on to each other as two women will who understand a little about life.

t
he store was going well, bringing in enough for Luke to do little things for Richlene with his own money. He was happier. Richlene was happy for him, but she was biding her time. She cried many times after Emily talked to her about leaving Luke. But she stayed on with him. Loving the little house and gardens across the river on the Indian land.

Satan waited.

One day after a long day of work, the store was closed and Luke and Lil Wisdom had locked up and were counting money in the back room. Lil Wisdom said, “Luke? Do you know I am still a virgin?”

“Girl, all these men after you? You betta get married.”

“That won’t help me.”

“Why?”

“Because I have saved my virginity for you, all these years.”

“For me? Ahhhh, Lil Wisdom …”

“It belongs to you. You are the one I want to have me for the first time.”

“Lil Wisdom, I’m a … married man.”

She began to undress in the dim light of the back room. “It’s a spiritual thing. If you once make love to me, I will be free to leave you for another man.”

“But what will you give him if you give this to me?”

“What is left. Which is all I have to give anyone else anyway.”

Her clothes off, she was now naked standing beside the little cot Luke kept in his office for himself to rest on. She looked beautiful. She glowed in the soft evening light. She reached her arms out for him. “If you do this for me now, you will set me free.”

“Lil Wisdom … I … I can’t.”

“You don’t like me at all?”

“I love you, Lil Wisdom, I love you since you was a little girl helpin my family. But … I can’t.…”

She lay down on the cot. It was not vulgar, it was just giving.

Luke looked at her a long time.

“I … could kiss you. That ought to be alright.”

“Alright,” Little Wisdom breathed, “come close to me.”

He went closer, he bent to kiss her, placing his hands on her warm shoulders. His hands that slid down her arms, onto her waist, over her hips. He started to rise, but she held him and drew his head down to hers. They kissed. That’s how it began. All of it.

Now all Luke’s lovemaking with Richlene had been sweet, gentle and loving. Like a gentle rain on flowers and leaves with a bit of sunshine now and then. It had been good. But Little Wisdom’s loving was different. It was a storm, a deluge with lightning and rolling thunder. Passion held back for years, unleashed, given with her whole heart.

After, Luke said, “You were not a virgin.”

Little Wisdom smiled. “Did you think I was never going to do anything?! You kept my body hungry for you and you never fed it. I had to do something! Once. But, yes I was a virgin. I have never really been touched before. My body needed you. And now I am satisfied.”

“I ain’t gonna do this no more, Lil Wisdom. I love Richlene too.”

“We don’t have to do it again, Luke. I know you love me now.”

They parted, each going their separate way, satisfied, complete.

That is the way they left it for a long time.

Satan wasn’t sure what to do, because he is not sure about real love. If he helped Richlene to leave, Luke and Lil Wisdom would be happy; if Luke left Lil Wisdom alone, Richlene would be happy. He didn’t want anyone to be happy. So he waited.

i
t had been several years since Hosanna had seen Miz Befoe. Though she had tried, Miz Befoe had been unable to stop Hosanna’s work; but Hosanna’s work was good, and people knew what she did was hard to find in the city, much less in Yoville. However, Carlene never used Hosanna herself. She wasn’t entertaining very much, in any event, since she was the only one in the house now except for visits from Carlton and, infrequently, Richlene. At rare moments, a visitor arrived to bring her special reports or papers to sign. It had even been a couple of years since Carlene had been to any city.

Minna was her woman of all jobs except cooking. Carlene did not like Minna’s cooking, so she brought chefs in from the city. They usually stayed a month or two, three at the most. The salary was never enough.

One morning Minna passed by Hosanna’s, on her way home, mad. “I done quit that ole bitch for the last time. She ain’t gonna haul off and slap me one more time in her white life! And if the Bible tellin the truth, she ain’t gonna have no other life!”

Hosanna smiled. “You all still don’t get along?”

Minna huffed, “Who can get along with that woman? You didn’t either! Huh!” Then she huffed on away.

Hosanna thought about Carlene later in the day and decided the old lady might need some help, so she went over there. She knocked at the back door, there was no answer, so she pushed it open and went in. The house was not filthy, but it was rather messy. Hosanna called out “Miz Befoe?” several times, but there was no answer. She kept going until she reached Carlene’s rooms. The door was open a crack, Hosanna knocked and pushed it open.

A raspy but strong voice asked crossly, “Who’s there?”

“It’s me, Hosanna.” Hosanna went in, looking at the woman in the bed. Carlene seemed to have shrunk, withered. The face was thin now, but wrinkles covered it. Evil and malignance stared out of the questioning eyes. She took off a lace cap that covered her uncombed, tangled hair. “Did you come to comb my hair, Hosanna? I don’t know where that girl Minna is. She is never here when I need her and she does not answer the bell!”

Hosanna smiled, “No, I didn’t come to comb your hair, but I will.” She looked for the comb and brush on the dresser. They were dirty and gray. “These things need cleaning, Miz Befoe.” She began to undo the long braid that hung crooked down Carlene’s back. “How you been doing, Miz Befoe?”

“Horrible! You can’t get any decent help. Everybody is so independent now! Sally and that school! These young ones grow up and leave town! Don’t stay here anymore!”

Hosanna smiled at life. “How is your family?”

“What family? Richlene with her hackled brain is over there in a teepee with Indians and a nigger! They tell me she sleeps with a nigger!”

“Well, she’s with somebody. His name is Luke. He was your gardener for years. He’s not a nigger, Miz Befoe. He is my brother and a fine gentleman.” Her voice held no anger, she didn’t really care what Mrs. Befoe thought. “Turn your head a little this way and hold it still now.”

Carlene snatched her head around. “He is stealing all her money, she’ll be broke someday! She is getting older. She should be here! With me! Her mother!”

Hosanna smiled. “I don’t think so,” she said musingly.

Carlene growled a moment, “He will throw her out for a younger woman. Soon as she is broke! He won’t get his hands on my money because I am leaving her nothing! Tell him that! Richlene tries to come
over here, like she thinks of me. I know her schemes. She brings me food, but I won’t eat it!” Carlene added with passion, “I wouldn’t give it to my dogs! Poison!”

Hosanna, still smiling, said, “I don’t think so.”

Carlene continued to rail, “My sister, Sally, brings me food and leaves it on the back porch. Like I am Snow White and will eat it. It’s poison also!”