In the Air Tonight (32 page)

It also felt like a lifetime had passed since she’d been to see her brother, and for that she was grateful.

“You did good, Paige. If you stay in town, I’ll hire you.”

She wanted to believe Doc, but she couldn’t. “This is my fault, dammit. But I can’t go back to hiding,” she muttered and then realized that Doc might not know who she actually was. She lifted her head and stared at him.

“I know who you are,” he said. “Ed told me.”

“And you still want me to work with you?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” He shook his head. “You’re too hard on yourself, young lady. Harder than other people are, no doubt.”

Yes, she’d heard that before, far too often.

Doc cleared his throat. “Gray was a good kid. They all are.”

It was funny to think of any of these men as kids, but to Doc …

“I was in Vietnam,” he explained. “These kids—Mace
and Cael and the other one, who pretends he doesn’t cause trouble—they’re young and tough, but even warriors need a break. I watched many a good man in my day lose their ever loving minds in combat. The more elite they are, the farther they have to fall.”

“You’ve known Mace a while, then?”

Doc shot her a sly grin. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been pumped for information.”

She smiled, but she didn’t deny it.

“I grew up here and I came back to work in this town when Mace was still a teenager. He couldn’t wait to get the hell out.”

“He told you that?”

“He didn’t have to. When you’re young, you want out. When you get older, you drift back. Of course, Mace had
circumstances
then. His grandparents were tough stock, and I’m not sure they were meant to raise children.”

So Mace had made it out—only to be dragged back in to take care of his team because they all seemed to gravitate here.

But who was taking care of him?

As she pondered that, Doc continued. “This place suits you. Suits Mace too, but he doesn’t want to let himself see it. Thought he was meant to be transient, but that’s not the case. He just needed someone to show him.” Doc looked pointedly at her.

“He won’t let me in all the way.”

“Bullshit.” Doc said it gently, though. “I can read you like a book. You’re holding back and it’s time to stop. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that nothing good ever came from secrets.”

She nodded, because she certainly agreed with the sentiment.

“You know, you haven’t answered my question about working here with me. Don’t wait too long to give me an answer, young lady. I’m an old man, prone to forgetting things.” He winked before he walked away from her and out of the bar, and as she watched Doc, she had a feeling she was seeing hints of what Mace would be like … and she liked what she saw.

A
fter the men gave their statements to the state troopers and Ed, Mace and Caleb and Reid all remained outside while Doc and Paige went to wash up inside the bar.

Mace was already dialing the prison. He listened to the warden as Reid muttered to himself and Caleb stood with his hands stuffed in his jeans pockets, staring up into the night sky.

When he hung up, he told them, “Jeffrey’s there—safe but not so sound. He’s either got food poisoning or they’re watching him for a possible ruptured appendix. This happened after Paige and I left; before he took ill, he got into a fight with another inmate. Tried to slash the guy’s throat.”

The scar on his own throat tingled as he spoke and he fought the urge to rub it. Bad enough that Caleb was staring at it.

What Jeffrey did to the inmate wasn’t lost on any of them any more than the symbolism of how Arthur had been killed.

“You’re a threat to Jeffrey,” Cael noted.

“Jeffrey’s not getting to me or Paige—to any of us,” Mace said firmly.

“We need to make sure of it,” Caleb confirmed.

“We need better surveillance, because the camera’s not enough,” Reid stated. “And who the hell’s going to volunteer to hang out at night in below-zero temps?”

The two men simply stared at him.

“Oh, come the fuck on,” Reid protested.

“Your suggestion,” Mace said evenly. “I’d hate to take away your glory. After all, it’s your plan.”

“Take it away, man, no problem,” he muttered. But although he was a southern boy at heart, he’d spent many years in Alaska with Kell, so this wouldn’t be a hardship for him. “Whatever. I’ll suit up and spend the rest of the night outside. I hate to say it, but the way all of this is shaping up, one of us is bound to be the next target.”

“Yeah, the cut throat was a really subtle message,” Mace muttered as he glanced toward the front door of the bar—Doc was walking across the icy lot toward them.

“I found something on the body,” Doc said when he got close. “A puncture mark from a needle in his neck.”

He pointed to a spot on his own neck.

“So whoever killed him knocked him out first?” Mace asked.

“I’d have to run some tests to be sure, but the mark’s fresh.”

“Do you remember seeing one on Harvey?” Reid asked.

“No. But he was in worse shape—he had some
frostbitten areas on his bare skin. I could’ve missed it. His tox screen came back negative, but that doesn’t mean much—there are some poisons that don’t show up,” Doc said. “I’ll let you know when I have the results.”

After he fired up his old truck and left, Reid said, “This opens up possibilities.”

“Ed still has Adrienne in custody,” Caleb reminded them. “So it has to be another girlfriend. Vivi’s still running all the female names on Jeffrey’s visitors’ log, with Dylan’s help.”

“Good. But still, cutting someone’s throat is rough work for a woman.”

“Not for one who’s just like Jeffrey,” Reid pointed out, and the men let that possibility settle in. Jeffrey was cunning enough on his own. Now he had a potential mini-army of women who would do anything he asked. And Jeffrey was definitely asking.

P
aige dragged herself upstairs to shower. Mace joined her in the master suite about an hour later, after she’d pulled on some sweats, still attempting to come down from her adrenaline rush by pacing, rubbing her hands together, trying to get the feel of the St. Christopher medal off of them.

He looked as tense as she felt. “Reid and Keagen are both staying downstairs for the rest of the night. Caleb will take a shift too—Vivi’s still working through the list of Jeffrey’s visitors.” Mace ran a hand through his hair as he toed off his boots, which were already loosened. He stripped off his shirt then sank to the bed and ran his hands through his hair again,
like he didn’t know what else to do with them, or himself. “I didn’t want you to have to deal with any of that.”

“I just needed to feel … useful. Not to be someone who needs looking after all the time. I know I’m in a bad situation. I know.”

Mace didn’t say anything.

“You live with danger on a daily basis when you’re working,” she told him.

“I’m trained for it.”

“I’m trained to help people. I didn’t like Arthur but I couldn’t not help him.” She paused, wondering if it was the right time to mention Doc’s offer or not and decided she was tired of secrets. “Doc told me he wants me to work with him … if I stay.”

Mace didn’t answer her, just lay back on the bed, his arms behind his head. He stared at the ceiling, while she stared at his naked chest—the muscles, the scars, all the things that made up the man she was falling for so deeply.

“This place is haunted,” he said, sounding tired. “Ghosts of things gone wrong. My mother fought like hell to escape, and she did. But not to anything good. And I finally managed to leave this place, only to keep getting pulled back, again and again.”

“If you’re so miserable here, why do you stay?”

“I try not to. I’ve got an apartment in North Carolina, near the post. But these guys are drawn to this place. Always have been.”

“Gray talked about this place all the time—everyone loves hanging out here,” she agreed.

“Except for me,” he interjected.

“Why is that?”

“It’s not a home to me. Never was.”

“But home is where the people you consider family are, and that family, the one you chose in the end, can save you,” she said, realized that although she couldn’t save Arthur, there were people here she
could
save. And suddenly she wanted nothing more than to do so. “You consider your team family. And I want to know if I can become a part of that. Because if it’s never going to happen, you need to tell me so.”

He didn’t, asked instead, “What did you feel that night four years ago when you touched my knife?”

“I saw loneliness. Fear. I saw me,” she whispered. “And it felt right. Things have to change, I need to change,” she told him. “I want to save you.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m falling in love with you, if I’m not there already.”

The second the words were out of her mouth, she knew she’d spoken the complete and utter truth.

M
ace had thought about just telling her first, letting that vulnerability through and remaining in control.

But it wouldn’t be enough for him. She’d never really learn the truth that way. And he needed her touch. Ached for it in a way he hadn’t thought possible.

After tonight, all the boundaries would be breeched. His past would literally be in her hands … but the future would be up to him to decide. “I know you came here to hide.”

“I came here to find you.”

Her honesty clawed at him, his own urgency surprising him. “And you did. And I helped you. Told you what you wanted to know. And I get it about your gift, that it takes a lot out of you … but it’s taking everything I have to pretend it fucking matters.”
He heard the rawness in his own voice and he wondered if this was weakness or strength on his part.

It didn’t matter—the need to reveal everything to her was too great to be ignored. And if it was something that couldn’t be overcome …

He refused to believe that. Everything in his life up to this point had been about overcoming. Whether or not he remained with Delta didn’t matter. He would be doing dangerous work for a long time to come. He was good at it … and it was good for him.

If Paige would never be able to touch him or hold him because of that, they might as well stop now. “I don’t want you inside my head all the time. But if you’re not—if I don’t let you in, if you can’t let yourself in—then we’re never going to be true to who we are. I can’t live a lie like that. You don’t deserve to either. If I left the military, I wouldn’t want to give up helping people. I couldn’t. That’s what I was born to do, to help people. I know that. And what would that do to you? To us?”

“What would it do to you?” she asked.

“Right now, I’m where I need to be,” he said fiercely, and suddenly she was in his arms, the place he’d wanted her to be since he first met her, the place she’d kept returning to over the past few days.

He felt so comfortable this way—maybe more comfortable than he’d ever been in his life. And she remained there, her hands between them, fisted, as they always were whenever they were together.

He couldn’t hide from her for much longer.

It was time.

——

M
ace swallowed hard, and then leaned in and kissed her, as if unable to help himself. He broke it off before they got too far, pushed away and muttered something to himself. And then he told her, “I can’t do this without you touching me anymore.”

She’d already made the decision to give in. “I’m ready, Mace. After tonight, I know I can handle anything. And I want to handle you.”

With those words of reassurance, she took his hands in hers, held them tight. Such a simple gesture, one people did daily without a second thought.

She watched his face carefully and he did the same to her as she let his emotions—his story—take her over.

She saw him younger. Felt his fear and shame, so similar to her own, saw him alone and hiding, first in a closet and then in the attic.

He’d spent so much time hiding. She actually felt him tremble, knew staying still under her touch was the hardest thing in the world for him.

“Your mom, you were always worried when you were with her. You wanted to stay with her, but you also wanted to run. You used to try to be invisible. She hit you … and then your grandparents hit you.”

God, the turmoil of emotions—the kind a young boy couldn’t process and shouldn’t have to—roiled through her. And the look on his face … She leaned forward and kissed the base of his throat, wanting to comfort him. “I can stop.”

“Don’t.” That word came out a fierce growl. “Whatever you do, don’t stop.”

Paige didn’t. He was young. Struggling out of a
man’s grasp, a woman yelling,
Mace, you go with them
.

No, Mom, I won’t
.

Mom
. “She, your mom—no, this can’t be right.”
Don’t make me say this out loud, Mace … please
.

But he was going to, watched her to see if she’d do what he asked.

She would. “She tried to sell you. Your mom tried to sell you, but you resisted so loudly the neighbors called the police and they saved you.”

He jerked slightly, tried to pull his hands away, but she held them fast. “I can’t imagine … you were so confused. Helpless. Angry. I hate that you felt this way.”

“I hate that you have to feel it, don’t want to burden you,” he murmured.

“Burden me, Mace. I want all your burdens. Every single one of them.”

Without saying another word, he bared his throat to her and she paused, only for a minute, let her fingers skitter over the scar before wrapping a hand around the nape of his neck, stroking her other hand down his chest, taking in the outpouring of emotion.

She’d been so focused on Gray and Cael that it had been easy to push aside the fact that Mace had been tortured too. Now, under her palms, it was front and center. What he’d endured was unfolding before her eyes, unflinchingly so. The pain cut her deeply. He’d been beaten with fists. A whip. A belt. He’d been starved, threatened—and still his only thought was for the safety of his team, his friends … his family.