In the Heart of Forever (17 page)

I grabbed his face with both hands and placed a hard kiss on his lips. “Make love to me.”

His head snapped back. “What? Right here?”

I nodded, undoing his belt before he could protest. “There’s no one around. Please.”

His lips parted, his breathing picking up as I reached into his jeans. “You’re gonna be the death of me, baby.”

“Is that a yes?” I asked, wrapping my hand around him.

Rave’s breath caught and grabbed my jeans with both hands. He pulled roughly, ripping them open making the button fly off.

I moved off of him, shimmied out of my jeans and panties and crawled back onto his lap. His lips parted as I covered his mouth with mine. He cupped the back of my neck and I gasped as he inserted a finger into my center making me buck against him. The undeniable amount of pleasure that coursed through my body was intense and powerful as our mouths moved as one.

A burst of ecstasy flew through my body as an explosion rocked my soul.

He released my mouth and kissed my nose, a smug grin of satisfaction on his handsome face.

My chest rose and fell as my muscles twitched and jumped from pure wonderful euphoria.

He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and grabbed a condom. I watched as he sheathed himself and rose to my knees.

“Kiss me.”

He smirked and licked into my mouth at the same time he entered me in one smooth thrust. I gasped at the full feeling of him inside of me and held onto him as he made love to me inside his car. I didn’t care where we had sex. Sometimes, you just had to go with the flow. I read a lot and knew that that’s what happened in some of the romance books I had read. It was perfect for us.

“God you feel good, Jesse.” Rave’s hips sped up, igniting a yearning in both of us. I could feel him tense around me, like he was holding back. Maybe he thought he would hurt me. In time, I had hoped he wouldn’t worry. I wasn’t glass. I wouldn’t break but I appreciated and loved that about him.
Love.

A fast unexpected explosion of pleasurable bliss erupted in my groin and I screamed his name as the ecstasy shattered my bones.

He grunted and thrust one last time, before shaking around me. He stopped moving and rained kisses on my face, neck and jaw. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, reveling in the feel of him still inside me.

“Good.” Rave kissed me one last time and released me, placing me in the passenger seat.

I got dressed and sighed happily. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and I looked up at him. “What?”

He grabbed the back of my neck, placing a hard kiss on my lips. “You’re so beautiful.”

My cheeks heated as he deepened the kiss for just a moment before placing a light peck on my forehead.

“And you have a glow.”

“I do?”

He chuckled and walked around to the driver side door. “Yes, a post orgasmic glow.”

I rolled my eyes and giggled, sliding into the car.

He grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles and pulled out of the field. We drove home in happy silence but as soon as I saw Allan’s house coming into view, my stomach twisted. I didn’t want to be there.

“Jesse?”

I turned to Rave. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were a little swollen from our kisses and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

“Are we good?” His brow wrinkled as he bit his lip.

I smiled and cupped his cheek. “Yes, we are.”

***

I said goodbye to Rave and headed up the sidewalk to Allan’s house. His car wasn’t in the driveway so I had at least a little bit before he got home. Thank God.

I took a shower, the hot water soothing my aching muscles. My cheeks heated remembering why they were sore. I finished up and wrapped myself in a towel, before heading into my room. I closed the door and turned when I was attacked from behind.

Hot breath scorched my ear and the scent of liquor invaded my nostrils, making me gag. Allan was home. No, he wasn’t supposed to be.

A big body pressed into my back, pushing me up against the door. My vision blurred and warning bells erupted in my brain.

Rough callused hands roamed up my body under my towel, kneading and squeezing their way over my skin. I squirmed and fought against my attacker’s hold, but it didn’t do anything. “Stop fighting it,” Allan growled in my ear.

Bile rose in my throat.
Oh God. No. Please no.

“I know you want it. You’re such a little tease, aren’t you? You’ve been dressing sexier since meeting that boy. Maybe it’s a good thing you haven’t listened to me and are still hanging out with him.”

“I’m not.” I choked on a sob and squeezed my eyes shut.

“Don’t lie to me. I saw his car pull away as I drove down the street.” Allan pressed into me.

Tears rolled down my cheeks and my skin pricked with terror. “Please. Don’t…” My voice cracked.

He didn’t listen. He didn’t stop. Hands violated my body. A body that was meant for Rave only. Oh God, Rave wouldn’t want me after this.

I pushed against the door, trying to fight Allan off of me. My brain buzzed with intense fear. Knowing I couldn’t do anything to stop him. I tried. Oh God did I try. I stomped on his feet with mine, I pushed into him, wiggled and fought against his touch…but that seemed to make him want it more.

I never thought this would happen. Even after all the times he hit me, I didn’t think he was this evil. But I was wrong. Ferocious pain erupted inside of me, making me dizzy.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I shut down. At that moment, walls of hatred went up around me, protecting my emotions. I never thought I could hate someone so much but as he took advantage of me, I promised myself I would never trust another human being again. No one would ever get near my heart, body or soul.

The one thing I had given to Rave and only him was now taken from me. I no longer had that freedom as my own choices were ripped from me. Shattering me from within.

Chapter 23

Rave

The next morning, I skipped homeroom to run some errands. “Does this one have good acoustics?” I asked the guy at the Music Shop.

“Yes.” He proceeded to tell me everything about the guitar but it went in one ear and out the other.

“My girlfriend is the guitar player. Not me. Will she like this?” I asked, pointing to the instrument.

The older man smiled at me. “Yes. This is one of our best. Has she been playing for a while?”

“Long enough but kind of fell out of it.”

“Perfect. She’ll love this one then and it’ll help her get out of the rut she’s in.”

He rang me up and put the guitar in its case. Jesse was going to love it and I couldn’t wait to give it to her.

Stopping off at a flower shop before heading to school, I picked up a yellow tulip. Just one. That’s all that was needed.

I pulled into the parking lot and grabbed Jesse’s presents, bringing them into the school with me.

I walked down the hall to where her locker was, my heart skipping a beat when I saw her. I stepped up behind her and kissed her neck.

She jumped and spun on me. She clutched her throat, her eyes bulging.

Okay, what the hell? “Jesse? What’s wrong?”

Her eyes darted from right to left as she looked past me. “Nothing. I’m sorry. I have to go.” She grabbed her things, slammed the locker door shut and walked down the hall.

Shock tore through me. The fear in her eyes froze me in place and I felt like I was twelve again. I had only seen that look once before…my stomach churned. No…please, God. Don’t tell me Allan…I shook my head and slowly followed Jesse as she rounded the corner.

I knew she was heading straight for the library but I stayed a couple of feet back, just in case. I wasn’t sure what I was worried about but something had definitely happened since yesterday.

I carried her presents with me, my happy bubble deflating. Things were getting better and now…I scrubbed a hand down my face and followed her into the library. I was practically on her feet but she didn’t seem to notice. She was lost in her own world. Heading to the corner at the back of the library, I gave her a couple of minutes alone before joining her.

My heart sunk to my feet when I approached her. She sat on the floor, her head in her hands and she was crying. Her small body wracked with sobs.

I threw down my presents and sat down beside her, tentatively wrapping my arms around her.

She tensed but then relaxed when she realized that it was me. She had never been scared of me before until now and that made me nervous. I didn’t say anything as she continued to cry in my arms. “Baby, what happened?”

She shook her head but didn’t respond. If Allan forced himself on her, I was going to kill him.

I ran my hands down her back. “Please talk to me.”

Jesse shoved out of my grasp and rose to her feet, grabbing her things. She turned back to me. Her cheeks were flushed and she lowered her gaze. “I think we should see other people.”

My breath left me in a whoosh, like I’d been punched in the gut. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m breaking up with you, Rave.”

I jumped to my feet and grabbed her arm, pushing her back against the wall. “Why? What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything,” she whispered.

“Then why? Why are you doing this?” My heart beat hard. I knew something was wrong but I never expected her to break up with me.

“Because. Now let me go.”

I grabbed her wrists, pinning her against me. She attempted to wiggle out of my grip, but I only tightened my grip.

“Rave, stop. Please. I can’t do this.” Her voice was small but she wouldn’t meet my gaze. What happened?

“I want to protect you. I want you to talk to me.”

Her breath caught and tears rolled down her cheeks. “You can’t. God Rave, stop trying to be my hero.”

Her words cut at my heart, mangling it to pieces. “I thought—”

“You thought wrong. I did lots of thinking last night and I think it would be best for me to leave. You deserve better.” Her voice cracked.

“Stop telling me what I deserve or how to feel.” My voice lowered. “What the hell happened? We were fine yesterday.”

“I’m sorry.” She squeezed her eyes shut, tears leaking from the corners.

“You’re sorry?”

“Rave, please understand that I’m only doing this to…to…”

Her words weren’t making any sense. “To what, Jesse? To protect me? Cause that’s a bunch of bull shit.”

She turned in my arms and glared at me, her beautiful features hardening. “Well I didn’t ask you now did I? This is my life. Mine. Before you came into it. It was fine.”

“What are you saying, Jesse? Since I’ve come into your life, its turn to shit? You’re scared. You’re scared to love because you think I’ll hurt you. Because of that fucker, you can’t trust anyone. Don’t push me away. Please.” I pushed her against the wall and ran my hand down her cheek. “I love you, Jesse. Why can’t you believe me?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she bit out.

“Why is it so hard for you? I don’t understand this.” What happened for her to change so much in less than twenty four hours?

“You don’t have to. We’re done. There’s nothing to understand.”

“No? Talk to me, Jesse. Tell me what’s going on. What did he do to you?” My voice softened.

“Allan said that since I’ve met you, I’ve started dressing sexier.”

She started wearing clothes that made her look like a girl. What was wrong…my stomach dropped. Oh God. “Are you blaming…Jesse…”

She lifted her chin and placed her hands on her hips. “Maybe if I wouldn’t have met you, Allan would’ve left me alone.”

Shock tore through me at what she implied. My stomach clenched at her words. “I…you…you can’t honestly mean that.”

“I wish I never met you,” she mumbled.

My eyes widened. Her words biting into my soul and eating me from within. “You don’t mean that, baby.”

She nodded. “I do.” She swallowed. She was lying but why? Was she trying to get me to hate her? Why was she saying these things? I didn’t want things to end like this but she was being unreasonable. I had no idea how to get through to her. Make her see that she didn’t deserve any of the shit that was thrown her way and why was she blaming
me
?

“I don’t believe you. What did that asshole do to you?” I gripped her arms and kissed her, pushing her against the wall. Our kiss turned desperate as I ran my hand around the back of her neck.

She moaned and shoved her tongue into my mouth. She grabbed onto my waist and pulled me against her, all the while kissing me, devouring my mouth. I knew she wasn’t experienced in the boyfriend department but man, could she kiss.

A moment later, she tensed and pushed me, forcing me to release her. She glared at me, her lips pink and swollen. She lifted her hand like she wanted to slap me and then she sighed, like she was giving up. “You deserve better, Rave.”