Indignation (15 page)

The Authority Elim observes her. He doesn’t want her to say anything to anyone. Of course, he wouldn’t. “You’re too smart for your own good Miranda.” He comments.

“You know what you’re doing isn’t fair. You’re not fighting fair.”

“When it comes to Julian, playing fair isn’t an option.”

“Then help me save him!”

He shakes his head. “I can’t do that.”

“I’m so disappointed in you. I never would have thought that you would do something this horrible. What else are you willing to do to get everything your way?”

“I do what I have to do.”

“You do what you want to do. There’s a big difference.”

“Do what you want Miranda. You always do.”

The way he’s willing to play unfair doesn’t spike any guiltiness in his eyes. “Put yourself over others. That’s what you always do.” She feels like he’s not the man she used to know. He hasn’t been that man for a long time. After so many centuries together, the one who should have always stood by her side and hold her hand through the tough times, should have been him. She can’t ask for the impossible though. She has his heart, but she never has his time or attention. What’s the use of having someone’s heart when they don’t even acknowledge your words, or pay attention to the harm they do to you emotionally.

He glares at her unfairness. She knows him too well to know what he’s thinking. “You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to inform the God because that’s what Elims do. They side with him above all. If you go and help Julian you will be considered a betrayer to Dias.”

She grabs her car keys from the dresser, making sure she doesn’t have any physical contact with him. “I’m stopping Julian before he invokes death on all of us. Once he finds out that Alyssa makes him stronger, he won’t hesitate to attack the Heavens. You know he will win if he does. I don’t consider that betrayal. I consider it an attempt to save the peace within our realm.”

“It’s always nice to know the wrong side you’re choosing.” Gabriel sarcastically says.

“It’s always nice to know that, once again, you choose yourself over me. Bye, Gabriel.” She turns and walks out the door without looking back.

Miranda doesn’t know what to think about everything. Gabriel is once again harming someone else for his benefit. He doesn’t like Julian. His punishments don’t get through to him. Gabriel doesn’t like to be overruled, or ignored. As an Authority Elim, he has the power to execute anyone, except the fallen king. Julian might have been weak when attacked by Gabriel, but Julian is so much stronger. 

Her emotions have always been like a river, so calm, peaceful, and delicate. Elims are meant to always put others before themselves. If she had to choose between her humanity and the immortality she’s living, she would choose her humanity. In her humans years everything was peaceful filled with love and unending friendships. On the most perfect day a woman could ever dream of, she was stripped of her humanity. Gabriel made a choice back then. It was selfish, impulsive, and she would have never agreed to it if wasn’t forcefully put upon her.

The worst about his choice is that he never even acknowledged his wrong doing. He never apologized or showed any emotion to let her know that he felt guilt. His selfishness affected her life. Now he wants to tell her that she’s doing wrong by choosing to save her friend? Not even the God, who’ all powerful is so cruel. She will always respect the God, but she holds to many secrets of his to notice that he isn’t perfect, no one is. The God will understand why she will help Julian. If he doesn’t then so be it. She’s not perfect and will never claim to be.

She drives to the house that looks so abandoned. Alyssa has neighbors, although you never see them. Also more than half of the owners of these homes don’t even live in them, probably because they live busy lives involving their careers. She remembers the time where her small village would always gather around weekly to spend time with each other. Everyone in the village helped each other in some shape or form. In this modern time no one seems to have time for anything. Humans take their mortality for granted. Immortality might seem like a gift, but its torture. You watch the people you love die. You watch your life pass until no one remembers you. No one misses you. Then no one cares about you like you wish they did.

Immortals are a very selfish species. They fight, bring war, and fight again for their own benefit. Vampires drain a human’s blood and leave them to die. Sometimes there’s the choice of bringing them into their world, but it’s a world not many want. They live in night being controlled by their thirst. They lose their control more than a Lycanthrope does. A Lycanthrope has a twisted sense of fate. They find their mates and if their mate dies then they die along with them in mind. Only the strongest Lycanthrope can survive without their mate. Those who do can’t love again. Fairies are so set in their traditions that they lose sight of the immortals around them. They all have a twisted mind mixed with the appearance of the most innocent and purest. Then there are the Mermaids. The poor creatures desire to have contact with those on land, but when they lure them in, those mortals die. They have to watch them drown slowly. They are always so lonely. Immortality is more of a curse than a gift. Sooner or later they lose sight on what they want to live for. The worst part is to have to accept that.

Miranda snaps out of her thoughts when she hears the breakage of a glass. She quickly turns the knob to let herself in. She runs up the stairs to Alyssa’s bedroom. She lays her hand on the knob. The silence stops her. No noise is heard from behind the door. She turns the knob slowly with caution. The squeaks of the door are heard loud and clear when she presses against it. The darkness engulfs her. Her eyes take time to adjust to the dark. She focuses on the spot beside the door frame. She flicks the lights on. The room becomes bright instantly. Her eyes scan the room. The mirror above the dresser is shattered. Breakable objects decorating the room has been thrown to the floor leaving them in pieces. Photos are torn in half while endless amounts of glass shards are visible around the floor. The glass on the window has a seeable hole through it with long cracks trailing to the edges. Alyssa stands off to the side of the narrow window. She’s facing out the broken glass. Her hands are limp on her sides and her hair is down in messy strains. Her violet eyes seem vacant. No emotion showing through them.

“Alyssa?” Miranda calls her out of her trance state.

Alyssa turns around to face her. “What are you doing here?” Her voice is low, but loud enough for her sensitive ears to hear.

“I’m here to help you. That’s if you let me.”

“Well, at least you don’t talk like you were born in the medieval times.” Alyssa states.

“I was born centuries ago.” She points out. “It just took me a long time to adapt. I’m usually not one to be with the mortals.”

Alyssa just nods. “You look like a really nice person, but I don’t need help. I just need to be alone.”

Miranda takes a deep breath before speaking. “Feelings are complicated.” She takes a step forward, keeping the distance between them so she won’t make her feel uncomfortable. “A person can feel many things. When someone’s happy they want to be surrounded by others to share their happiness. When a love one dies you want to be surrounded by those that feel the same feeling of abandonment like you do. It’s the problem of feeling the responsible one to the wrongs in your life that make you feel alone, and when that loneness makes you finally feel empty, you surround yourself by isolation so you won’t feel anything. That way you don’t show anyone you’re hurting and feeling guilty, in return you end up feeling nothing. That’s when you know that your pain is so big, when you finally don’t feel a thing.” She says it with much experience in that area. The feeling of not feeling anything is hard to even think about. Having no emotions run through you system makes you feel nonhuman. It’s like when a needle pricks your finger and you don’t feel it for a couple of mintues until you notice the tears of blood that drip down to the floor. That’s when you feel the sting of the perforation. Feelings are the same. You feel nothing until you see what you have to feel.

“I feel a lot of things. I feel so much that I don’t know what to feel exactly right now.”

“You’re confused. It’s normal.”

“No.” Alyssa’s light purple eyes meet hers. “It’s not normal to find out that a God is your father and your mother was a witch. It’s not normal to be told that you were a creation to kill the man you love. It’s not normal to not know who you really are. None of it is normal to me.”

“You have to be strong, Alyssa. If you give up now then how are you going to face the rest of the challenges that you are to face in your life?”

“I don’t know if I can.” Alyssa admits. “Four years ago, when Julian left me, I didn’t accept it. Everything was so perfect that I didn’t want to believe it. Then I found myself accepting it slowly. I turned that into strength and faked smiles and distracted myself from the feeling of being left behind. Back then I was a young girl who thought love could conquer all. I thought nothing bad could come because love was invincible.” She takes a deep breath. “I thought it was just a matter of time before I could get over him like other girls my age did, but that never happened. I always felt like it was the day he left me. My fake smiles just started to cover all that up. I was being haunted by his memory every time I looked around. When I thought that I was finally moving on, he comes back. All those feelings turned into anger. I didn’t want him back. I felt like it wasn’t fair for him to come back and knock down every ounce of strength I worked so hard to get.” Her eyes blister in emotion. “Then you come along and to tell me that it was my fault that Julian left me.”

“I never said it was your fault. It’s not. It was a curse that was put upon you. You didn’t have a choice.” Miranda says.

“It is my fault. He wants to kill me, and I don’t blame him.”

“You can’t feel guilty over something that you don’t remember, Alyssa.”

“I saw that mirror. It was me. I saw those eyes. How could I have killed the man I love? It was cold blood murder. I literally stabbed him in the back at his weakest Moment. I don’t deserve to even be alive, let alone his forgiveness.”

“You said the man you love. Do you still love him?”

“I do. I never stopped. I guess I know why now.”

“You both are still bonded to each other. It’s part of the curse.” Miranda informs her. “If you still love Julian then the best you can do is to stay away from him. He has always been an impulsive man driven by anger and power. As much as I would like to think otherwise, he will kill you in that state of mind.”

“When we were at the clearing, you said that he wasn’t himself. That he wasn’t the man I know. What did you mean by that?”

“You already know that he was a powerful king. He was so powerful that the God had to take actions against him. This might be hard for you to understand, but Julian has two sides to him. One side of Julian is a man who cares and is able to feel compassion towards others. The other side of him is the king he was. That side is filled with darkness of being the cause of so much power. Before you came along as Annalisa, he was a king who showed no compassion or mercy on anyone. Everyone was naturally scared of him except Yenta. She was a maid of Julian as well as his mistress of that time. They never loved each other; they just enjoyed each other’s company. They were like brother and sister. She was never fazed by the natural fear he inflicted upon others. Yenta was the one who controlled his demeanor. If it wasn’t for her, Julian would have lost himself to the darkness completely a long time ago. If that ever happens, no one will be able to stop him. He’s that powerful.”

“You think that maybe he’s losing himself to that side?”

“If he was losing himself to the darkness, you wouldn’t be here; you would be in the Heavens with a lot of protection.”

“So what are you trying to say?” Alyssa is trying to make sense of all of this.

“That he’s close to losing himself. If that happens, earth will never be the free planet it’s become. He will claim his throne above all and millions of humans wouldn’t be able to stop him. Not with the Underworld on his side.”

Miranda notices Alyssa’s eyes widen at the thought of that. “Can Yenta help? Maybe she can stabilize Julian again.”

“Yenta died at the arms of Julian’s enemies when-”

“I killed him.” She interrupts her.

“Yes.”

“Then what can we do?”

“You’re willing to help him even if it means endangering your life?”

“I owe it to him to try.”

“You’re a good woman Alyssa. You should forgive yourself before you help someone else forgive you.”

“I don’t want to help Julian forgive me.”

“That’s exactly what you’re going to do. When he sets aside the darkness he holds he will be able to see clearly. Then that side of Julian will forgive you.”

“I really hope your right, but what can I do to help him?”

Miranda takes another step towards her. “The only thing you can do is to stay away from him. He needs someone to make him see what he doesn’t. I will be that person. I will help me.”

“Please do. The times I’ve seen him, he’s so different than what I remembered him to be. He was never this cold or cruel man he is now. I don’t like to see this side of him. He’s not the Julian I fell in love with.”

“I know. I promise you that I will help him. As much as it’s forbidden for me, I will. He’s my friends. Friends always help friends.

“Why are you forbidden?”

“The Authority Elim, Gabriel, he said if I help Julian I will be a betrayer to the God.”

Alyssa frowns at the statement. “But won’t the God understand? If you’re telling me that Julian has a dark side he can’t control, then it should mean something.”

Miranda shakes her head in response. “The God is many things, but perfect. If it comes to the safety of his daughter, he will do anything.”

“The God, as you call him. My father. You make it sound like he cares. He was never here when I needed him. Why would he care about my safety?”