Inevitable (32 page)

“
When did you… how did you… why did you… How the fuck could you
keep that from me?”

“
I was afraid I’d lose you,” I replied honestly. I almost
laughed at the stench of irony but thought better of it.

“
So, wait… let me get this straight… you were afraid to lose
me, but then you pushed me away anyway? What the fuck,
Blaine?”

“
I’m sorry.” Shit that sounded lame. It
was
lame.
I
was lame.

“
You’re… sorry?” she barked. “For what, Blaine? For keeping the
most life-altering secret the world has to offer from me, or for
chewing my heart up and spitting it out into a pool of fucking
acid?”

“
For… everything. I’m sorry for everything. I should never have
allowed myself to get close to you.”

“
Is that your way of making me feel better? Telling me you wish
you’d never fucking met me!”

“
That’s not what I said,” I retorted, standing up so I was
level with her. I stepped hesitantly closer to her. “I always knew
I would hurt you, Maddie. But… I just couldn’t stop myself getting
close to you. I was selfish.”

Maddie edged closer to me. I felt like
I was on the receiving end of a
defibrillator. Her smooth lips parted slightly and I awaited the
well-deserved ream of insults which were about to spill out of
them.

Then… she
kissed me.

Holy motherfucking shit it felt good. She was so soft, so
sweet, so god damn fucking beautiful. Then it hit me… I couldn’t do
this. I
wouldn’t
do this to her again. Reluctantly, I pulled
away.

She pulled me
back.

“
Please, lish… I don’t have the strength to stay away from
you. Push me away.” I brushed my lips against hers and dipped my
tongue into her mouth, grazing the back of her teeth. “You have to,
lish,” I murmured into her mouth. “
Please
.”

“
Take me to bed, Blaine,” she groaned. Hell no, this wasn’t
happening. I couldn’t say no. She
needed
to push me away god dammit!

“
Maddie I-”

She silenced me with her lips on mine. Then she deepened
the kiss, swirling her soft, moist tongue around my mouth while she
worked her fingers through my hair. I could feel her heart pounding
against my chest
. Fuck, I wanted her.

“
Please, Blaine,” she whimpered.

“
Okay.” Damn I was weak. Against my better judgement I led
her up the spiral staircase and to the end of the landing. Pausing
outside my bedroom door I held her close whilst I inhaled the scent
of her hair – strawberries. God I’d missed that smell.

She walked inside ahead of me, stopping by my bed to absorb
her surroundings. She eyed up my Indie posters, the pile of music
journals spilling out of my desk and the football trophies I earned
as a kid. I realised then, this was the first time she’d ever been
in my room. I’d never wanted her here before. I’d never wanted her
so close to my father. Turning to me and smiling sweetly she sat
down on the edge of my bed. Christ, the sight of Maddie on
my
bed. Her pale skin a
beautifully sharp contrast to the black bedding. It was
amazing.
She
was amazing. It was like she belonged there.

Maddie was the
first girl that had ever been in my bed. And she would be the
last.

“
Come here,” she said softly, summoning me with her forefinger.
I swallowed forcefully and ambled over to her.

“
Help me forget, Blaine,” she whispered into my ear and then
nibbled on it. I could do this. I could help her forget. She had
done the same for me not so long ago after all.

Maddie’s hands smoothed over my chest and then she slowly,
teasingly undid the buttons on my shirt. Shrugging it from my
shoulders I leaned over and pushed her flat on the bed with my body
weight. Pulling my tongue from her mouth I trailed soft kisses
along her jaw
causing her to giggle as the prickles of my beard tickled
her delicate flesh. Slowly I moved to her neck and a gluttonous
moan to escaped from her throat. I thought I was hard already but
damn if my pants didn’t suddenly become so tight it was verging on
excruciating.

I grabbed the
hem of Maddie’s grey tee and slowly worked it up her body until she
raised her arms and let me glide it over her head. She wasn’t
wearing a bra. Holy shit was she trying to kill me?

I cupped
both of her breasts with my hands as I kissed my way down her neck
and her collarbone before settling my lips on one of her perky
nipples. I sucked it into my mouth and she gasped as it hardened
under my tongue.

“
Please, Blaine,” she whimpered, arching her chest deeper into
my mouth.

“
We’ll get there, lish. I’ll take care of you.” Letting her
nipple pop free from my mouth I ran my tongue over it before
reaching down to grab the waistband of her pants. She raised her
hips whilst I tugged them down and over her legs and I paused for a
moment to stare at her body lying bare and needy on
my
bed. No panties
either? Sweet fucking hell. “You’re so beautiful,
Maddie.”

Reaching up to
grab my face she pulled me down on top of her, kissing me deeply…
greedily. Her soft hand stroked along my back – along my scars –
and then her touch trailed down my waist and along the v of my hips
until she found the waistband of my jeans.

“
Ah, fuck…” I groaned, gritting my teeth when she reached
inside and took hold of my throbbing cock. I reached down and
wriggled out of my jeans, kicking them onto the floor and relieving
the painful pressure as my erection sprang free.

“
Make love to me, Blaine. Make me forget,” she whispered with
heart breaking desperation in her voice.

“
Not yet,” I replied in between exploring her mouth with my
tongue. “I want to taste you first.” Deep down I knew this was our
last time together and I was determined to make it last.

Her
adorable face skewed into a confused expression. I smiled
devilishly at her and then slowly shimmied down the bed, running my
tongue along the centre of her fine body on the way. When I reached
my destination I placed my hands on her knees and gently pushed
them apart. Holy shit she was moaning already and I hadn’t even
touched her yet.

She gasped
when my tongue brushed over her clit and her hips bucked to meet my
mouth. I circled it, revelling in how fucking delicious she tasted,
before dipping it inside her, making her yelp.

“
Oh dear god, Blaine.” I grew impossibly harder knowing I was
pleasing her so much and my balls felt so god damn heavy they were
surely turning blue. I dipped in and out over and over again before
licking my way back up and sucking on that sweet tasting bud which
had swelled to twice its size.

“
Does that feel good?” I asked, burying my face between her
legs.

“
God yes. Please, Blaine. I want you now. Please.” I was so
determined to drag this out but damn I couldn’t resist her. She was
begging me for fuck’s sake. After one last flick of my tongue I
hitched myself back up so I was lying on top of her. She reached
between us, grabbing my cock and hovering it over her dripping wet
entrance.

“
Shit,” I muttered, frustrated. No way was this
happening.

“
What?” she breathed, looking alarmed.

“
I don’t have a condom.” I seriously wanted to punch myself in
the balls.

“
It doesn’t matter. I’ve just finished my period. We’re good, I
promise.”

Hell yes!

I responded
by thrusting myself inside her and crying out as I did so.
I could feel every smooth, slick inch of her. She was gripping me
so tight. Every time I withdrew she sucked me back in. Jesus, she
felt so good.

This was wrong. I knew it was
. This would be over too soon and I would
have to hurt her… again.

“
This is… I shouldn’t… I can’t… fuck, Maddie I’ve missed you.”
I moved slowly, savouring every thrust.

“
Move faster. Please, Blaine… faster,” she begged, biting down
on her bottom lip. I sucked it into my mouth and her teeth let go,
allowing my tongue access to hers. I swirled it around hers and
then moved down to her pert breasts, drawing a hard nipple into my
mouth and sucking on it as I worked faster inside her. “Yes,” she
cried and I pounded her harder.

“
You feel so fucking good,” I whispered as I buried my head in
between her breasts. Her body writhed beneath me and a light sweat
dusted over her soft, pale skin. Then she clamped her hands onto my
shoulders and stilled me.

Shit.
Had she realised this was a mistake?

“
Lie on your back,” she ordered gently with a wicked grin
spreading across her lips. With no idea what she was planning I
apprehensively eased myself out of her and rolled onto my back.
Slowly she moved down the bed and then knelt between my legs,
lowering her head.

Was she going to…
After I’d been inside… No fucking way!

“
Fuck, Maddie!” I yelped as she took my erection into her
mouth. “Ah, yes!”

She swirled her tongue over my tip and then licked her lips
before sliding them all the way over my shaft. She moved her head
up and down, slowly gaining momentum as she thrust it deeper and
faster inside her. I reached down and pulled out her hairband,
tossing it on the floor and then twisting my fingers into her hair.
I guided her up and down, keeping her from going
to
o fast
because I was a mere couple of sucks away from exploding into her
mouth. Then she made an ‘mmm’ sound and it reverberated all the way
up my cock.

“
Fuck this,” I grunted. “I need inside you. Now.” Pulling
myself free from her mouth I reached down and grabbed her waist,
flipping her onto her back. Holding her thighs I pulled her towards
me and guided her legs around my waist. Then I slammed into her,
groaning as she gripped me impossibly tight. I worked fast.
Thrusting into her again and again.

“
Touch yourself for me, Maddie,” I whispered, gritting my
teeth. She bit down on her lip, a nervous flush spreading across
her cheeks. “Go on, lish. You can do it. For me.”

She
tentatively lowered her hand between us and I stared intently as
her fingers splayed across her raging hot pussy. Christ, was I
really seeing this? Slowly, she started to massage herself with the
pads of two of her fingers. Round and round they went as she
whimpered and pleaded with me to go faster. I was more than happy
to oblige.

Her
fingers worked quickly and so did I. I was getting close. So was
she. I could feel her getting tighter and her body was starting to
quiver.

“
Come on, Maddie. Do it for me.”

“
I am. I’m so close,” she groaned.

Her fingers
brushed against the base of my cock as I slammed harder into
her.

“
Fuck, yes!” I was so nearly there. “Come on, lish.” The harder
I went the faster her fingers circled.

“
Blaine!” she cried and then her entire body shuddered
beneath me, shoving me over the edge. With one last thrust I poured
myself into her and my whole body felt like it was setting
alight.

Gently, I
lowered my exhausted body down onto her.

“
I love you so much,” she breathed.

Shit. Every fibre of my being ached to say that to her too.
Because it was true. I did love her. Christ I loved her so much it
fucking hurt. The stab in my heart hurt far more than any physical
pain my father could ever inflict on me. But it wasn’t enough. It
wasn’t enough to protect her. She doesn’t love me – not the
real
me. She doesn’t know
me. She doesn’t know how weak I am. The things I have
allowed
to
happen.

“
Maddie I-”

“
Don’t,” she said, pushing me off her. I slid out of her
delicious warmth and propped myself up on my elbow. “Don’t do it.
Don’t leave me again. I can’t handle it.” How did she know? Maybe
she did know me after all. She knew what a selfish bastard I
was.

“
I’m sorry,” was all I could say.

“
So you keep saying!” she snapped, jumping from the bed. I
watched as she gathered her clothes from the floor, huffing and
cussing to herself – or to me. I twisted my hands into the sheets
to stop me reaching out and grabbing her. If I did I would never
let her go.

“
If I leave, Blaine I’m never coming back. I can’t keep
doing this. It’s killing me.
You’re
killing me!”

“
I’m…”

“
You’re sorry… I get it!” Pulling her tee over her head she
looked at me. She looked beautiful… and broken. “Fuck you,
arsehole!” she screamed and then stormed out of my room.

I didn’t move.
I didn’t chase her. I didn’t call after her. I just lay there and
watched the woman I loved walk out of my life forever.

Then… I cried
like a fucking girl.

Maddie

T
urning my key in the lock to my house I felt like a cheap
whore. Had he really just used me for sex? Did I really not know
him at all? I didn’t know anything anymore. I didn’t know
anyone
anymore. My whole
life was a steaming lie. I didn’t even know
myself
.