Infatuated (19 page)

“Damn it, Kale. This isn’t your house. That’s not your vodka.”

He left the bottle in the sink. “I’ll buy you another damn bottle.”

“I don’t want another damn bottle. I want that one!”

“Tough. You can’t even stand up straight. You’re going to end up on your ass again. The fact that you’re not there now is a small miracle.”

“So what? It’s
my
house.
My
life. I’ll do what the fuck I want.”

He shrugged. “You shouldn’t be alone like this.”

“Like what? Drunk?”

“Yes.”

“And why not?” I shot back. “What difference does it make if I’m sober and alone or drunk and alone?”

His eyes went dark. “I’m still here, aren’t?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be.”

“I don’t run from trouble. You should know that.”

“Should I? I’ll just add that to the little list of things I do know.” I tilted my head to the side, shot him a questioning glance. “Should it go before or after ‘drives an SUV’?”

“God, you’re stubborn.”

I glared. “Right back at you, Romeo.”

“What is this really about, Ally? Is this just about the calls and notes?”

“Yes. No.” I sighed. “It’s about everything. I feel like I’ve known you for years, and then I realize I haven’t and that I don’t really know you at all. I’d tell you anything you wanted to know, and you…you slip up. You start to say something that’ll give me some insight into you, and then you catch yourself and gloss right over it. It’s frustrating. It’s terrifying.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been with one guy before you, who I dated throughout high school and slept with on graduation. I knew everything about him—the good, the bad, the ugly. I’ve known you, what, a few weeks? I’ve slept with you, I’ve let you into my home, my heart, and I don’t know anything concrete about you.” I sighed. “With everything else…it’s just one more thing
I don’t know
.”

“I’m not like you, Ally.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re good and sweet. I’m not, or I wasn’t. I was a hellion in high school. Getting in trouble and fights whenever I could. It’s why my parents split. It’s why my dad wouldn’t take me in and my mom kicked me out. It’s why Rob’s folks stepped up and let me move into their pool house. I dropped out of college a year in and got a job at one of Rob’s dad’s shops.”

“And what, Kale? That was supposed to scare me away?”

“No.” He spun away and paced. “It just made me realize how different we are. You called me your adventure. Like being with me is something on a bucket list, something you want to do once, just to see what it’s like.”

“I called you my adventure because I didn’t feel boring or awkward with you!” I was practically shouting at him and I didn’t care. “My friend Max? She calls me the poster-child for saints. School is and has been my focus for years, and guys were always second, if I ever gave them any thought. When I met you and told her about you, she was shocked. You kissed me the first night you met me and I let you. According to her, that was a big fucking deal, because that’s not like me. She was actually jealous of me, something that had never happened before.” Something that would probably never happen again. It’d never mattered to me until it’d happened. “And you know what? Now I’m feeling awkward, so go home, Kale. I’ll call you when I’m sober.”

His eyes were dark. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I rounded on him, nearly falling again, which only kept my anger levels rising. “My rules, remember? You’re not the boss of me. You’re just—”

“What?”

“I don’t know.” I ran my fingers through my hair again. Drinking didn’t even sound fun anymore, not that I had anything left
to
drink. “We can talk in the morning.”

He grabbed my arm as I tried passing him. “What am I?” He gave me a quick shake. Angry blue eyes stared into mine. “What am I, Ally?”

I wanted to look away but I couldn’t. “You really want to know what you are?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.” I jerked my arm free. “I didn’t call you an adventure because you were some bucket-list item that needed checked off. I called you my adventure because you made me feel things I never thought I’d feel. I felt…special. My mom said falling in love was an adventure. So that’s what you are, Kale. You’re still my adventure, because you’re the guy I stupidly fell in love with.”

CHAPTER 15

K
ale stared at me blankly.

“Nothing to say?” I said, laughing sadly. “Yeah. Go home, Kale. If you’re worried about me being drunk and alone, don’t be. Apparently confessions of love are sobering.” I headed for my room.

I could’ve sworn that I’d read confessions were supposed to be good for the soul. I didn’t know where I read it now, but either I remembered it wrong or I was doing something wrong, because my soul didn’t feel better. It didn’t feel good or light. I wasn’t even sure it felt bad. It was just empty.

“It’s only been a few months,” I heard him say, tone strained.

I stopped, inches from my door. “There’s a reason I didn’t call you the stupid one.”

“Ally.”

Slowly, I turned. “There’re two ways this conversation plays out. Either you give me some platitude that I pretend makes me feel better, something like, ‘it’s too soon’ or ‘I need more time’—some variation on that—or, even worse, you lie and tell me what you think I want to hear.”

“Or I give you the truth.”

“And if it doesn’t fall somewhere between those two, then I’m definitely not drunk enough for it.” A whisper of a smile titled my lips upward. “You poured out all my vodka.”

I walked into my bedroom before he could answer, went to my bed, and curled up on my side. I didn’t bother changing. The bed dipped a minute later and I tensed. “I don’t want to talk anymore, Kale. I haven’t slept in two days, so just go home.”

“You had your turn, now it’s mine. If you don’t want to talk, fine. Then you can just sit there feeling sorry for yourself and listen.”

“What?” I sat up and turned to face him. “Feeling sorry for myself? I’m not feeling sorry for myself. And you know what? So what if I am. I think I have a right to. When you have some creep staring at you, calling you, following you every damn where,
then
you can talk.” I refused to mention the pictures out loud. I didn’t even want to think of them. “So until then, butt out. It doesn’t involve you.”

I stormed off the bed and started for the living room. Kale beat me to the door and shut it before I could leave.

“What the hell do you mean it doesn’t involve me?”

“Do the math, Kale. This creep’s after me. If you’re not around, then you’re not in the picture.” I laughed. “Literally or figuratively. Now move.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“You keep saying that, but where were you today, Kale? Or are you going to deny not taking my call?”

“No, I didn’t take your call. I didn’t want to give you the chance to do what you’re trying to do now!”

I rolled my eyes. “What am I trying to do? We’re not a couple, so there’s no breaking up. We’re friends. That’s it.”

“The hell we are. We’re more than that and you know it.”

“I told you
I
loved
you
, not the other way around. I don’t know how you feel. Calling me yours doesn’t make it so.”

He moved closer to me, making me back into the door.

“Back off, Kale.”

He stepped closer. His erection bulged against my stomach. “You’re mine.”

“I’m getting sick and tired of hearing those goddamn words,” I said, shoving him.

His eyes were bright and hot, his breathing uneven. “Don’t compare me to him. I’m not Earl. When I say them, they’re the truth. You know it.”

I sighed. I didn’t think of Earl when he said those words. Maybe I should have, but it was different, and even pissed at Kale, I couldn’t deny it. “No, you’re not. So, I’m sorry for that one. But it still doesn’t—”

“Do you need the words? Is that it? You’re my friend, my girl, my lover. However you want to say it, you belong to me, Ally.” He leaned in, the hard length of him rubbing into me.

Even pissed I couldn’t ignore it. Even pissed I couldn’t deny or pretend it didn’t affect me. That he didn’t affect me.

“Tell me you don’t love me,” he growled.

I couldn’t.

His hand went to my hair and he gave it a tug, forcing my gaze to his. “Tell me you’re not mine, that I’m not yours.”

I stared up at him, furious, with angry tears burning my eyes. But I couldn’t say that, either.

“Tell me you don’t want me.”

The problem wasn’t with what I wanted or didn’t want from him. It shouldn’t have been possible, but I did love him. I was his. I did want him. “I don’t know what
you
want.”

“You. Only you.”

I could only stare as he undressed us both in record time, tearing his clothes off and mine.

And then his hands were on my ass, squeezing as he lifted me. He settled me against his hard length and ground against me. My legs went around his waist, pulling him close. He took my mouth in a crushing kiss that left my lips numb and tingling.

Those rough hands roamed, one to my breast, squeezing and kneading, and the other stayed on my ass. He rubbed against me and squeezed my ass until I was panting, writhing, and cursing his name.

Linking his fingers with mine, he held my arms above my head. “You’re mine.”

I wanted to be his. “Then show me.”

His growl sounded every bit as dangerous as his eyes looked. Raw, dark, furious, full of heat. When he released my hands, I wrapped them around his neck.

“Mine,” he said, and at the same time, he plunged inside me with a single rough thrust.

My eyes rolled back and I cried out.

“Open your eyes, Ally. I want to see you. I want you to see me.”

They fluttered open, immediately locked onto his gaze. His eyes were hot, with need, temper, challenge. Gripping my hip tightly, he thrust me into me again, deeper, harder.

He wasn’t gentle. The anger rolled off him in hot waves that threatened to engulf me. Fire, I thought. He reminded me of a flame. Scorching and bright.

Tonight, the fire was wild and broke free, taking everything in its path. I wanted to burn in it.

I thrust my hips to meet him but I couldn’t keep up. His pace was maddening. He drove into me like he couldn’t stop, pounding inside me deeper and faster, until I could barely hold onto him. Until the door shook and rattled against my back.

The scent of him drifted in the air like smoke, surrounding me. Melted chocolate and strawberries and pure sex.

Kale stared at me, eyes on my face. “Mine.” It could have been a yell or a whisper, I couldn’t tell over the thundering of my heart, my head. He punctuated the word and buried himself inside me with a deep thrust. It filled me, rocked me, and sent me blindly over the edge calling his name.

My release spurned his and Kale followed me over with his own cry of release.

Breathing heavy, my head fell to his slick shoulders. His breath was harsh in my ear. Cupping one arm underneath me to hold me up, he leaned the other against the door. What I could actually feel of my body felt like melted rubber.

With each rapid breath, his chest rose and fell. His heart beat against mine. I lifted my head in time to see him wipe his face. Just like that, his gaze latched onto mine. We stared, wordlessly.

“I’m not apologizing,” he said, breaking the silence.

The gruffness in his tone had me fighting a frown. “I didn’t ask you to.”

“What?”

“Nothing. You can let me down.” I didn’t wait for him to and pushed him back. My legs shook beneath me but I could at least stand.

Without a word, Kale started to gather his clothes off the floor.

And now comes the awkward after-sex thing
, I thought, wanting to laugh and cry at the same time. After our first time together, I hadn’t had time for the awkward after-sex thing, because he’d smoothly rolled over it and pretty much didn’t allow for it.

I wasn’t drunk—not even buzzed anymore—and god, how I wished I still was.

What the hell was I supposed to say now? Goodnight? Thanks for stopping by, ruining my buzz, and generally making my shitty night that much more shitty? To be safe, I decided to say nothing. I grabbed out a change of clothes, cleaned up in the bathroom, and came back out to crawl into bed. Kale was gone. I expected as much but it didn’t stop the pang in my heart or my eyes from filling with unwanted tears. I forced them back.

I almost crawled into bed then and there, and if I hadn’t had to lock the doors, I would have. The lights were staying on though. I went to the door and started to turn the lock when it pushed open on me. I reacted without thinking and punched the first thing in view. It ended up being Kale’s face. The scream bubbled up but died in my throat. I bent at the waist, covering my mouth as my heart raced.

“What the fuck?”

“What the hell are you doing!” My voice came out a whisper.

“You just clocked me, so shouldn’t I be the one asking that fucking question?”

I glanced up to see him clutch his jaw. “Give me some warning next time! I thought you’d left.”