Infinite Love (33 page)

‘That you’re still in love with him. This is serious Lexi, he’s about to find a house with her, this could be your last chance.’

‘But I’m not ready and I don’t know if he still loves me, in fact I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even like me anymore.’

‘Don’t make me pregnancy hormone your arse, Lexi Clarke,’ I scolded with a slap of my ruler on the desk. ‘The girl who says she isn’t ready is the same one who dated someone for nearly two years,
and
secretly went monogamous for him when he wasn’t for her. You have more than enough capacity in your heart to be ready to love and be loved, and I’m not standing for it anymore. Go and find him and tell him. He’ll either confess his feelings for you and you can ride off into the sunset, or he’ll tell you to sod off. Either way, you’ll know.’

‘Mia,’ she sighed.

‘Don’t make me upset Lex, you’re making me upset. You’ve just made a pregnant emotional woman cry,’ I blubbed. ‘And I have
no
tissues.’

‘Shit,’ she uttered and ran out of the room in search of some. I sat back in my chair and chuckled to myself. I was going to milk everything I could to get her to sort this out once and for all. I quickly pretended to cry again as she returned with a box for me.

‘Thank you,’ I sniffed.

‘Shit, I’m sorry, don’t cry. It’s not good for either of you. Here, have more sugar,’ she shoved the jar in my direction and I nodded, pouted, and took some more. ‘What can I do?’

‘Make me happy again. I feel all nurturing and about family values, family units are so important. So is love. Love is key. You need to love and be loved Lexi Clarke, go forth to Doug and confess your feelings.’

‘Mia bloody Austin. You little fake,’ she uttered as she put her hands on her hips and glared at me.

‘What?’ I pouted and made my blue eyes water a little.

‘Giving me all that puke inducing crap. You’re laying it on. Wow, using your unborn child as part of an emotional blackmail scheme. That’s low. That’s very low.’

‘Just go and bloody tell him, will you,’ I sighed as I stood up and hugged her. ‘I want you to be happy. Doug made you so happy.’

‘Whatever. Faker.’

‘Well, I’m not faking the need to pee again. I have a bit more paperwork to do then I’m heading home. Want a lift?’

‘Yeah, sure,’ she sighed. I headed off to the toilets and went to see Luke behind the bar.

‘Have you still got my tab running, Luke?’

‘Sure Mrs. Austin, what are you after. A Baileys or Vodka Cranberry?’

‘Ermmm no, I’m driving. Do you have any of that Apple and Raspberry J2O?’

‘Not here sorry, it’s on order, I think we’re out.’

‘O,’ I sighed, disappointed. I had a real thing for that at the moment. It was lovely and sweet and Gabe couldn’t moan too much if he found out, as it did have some fruit in it.

‘There may be a stray box in the store room. I can go and check for you.’

‘It’s ok, I’ll go, I’m heading back to my office anyway.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘I am, thanks Luke.’ I headed past my office, the staffroom and toilets and down to the storeroom and stepped in and patted the wall down trying to find the light switch. ‘God damn it,’ I muttered. ‘Bloody contractors not putting it by the door. If I trip over something I’ll bloody sue.’ I took a few tentative steps forward and had to let go of the door behind me and suddenly was in pitch darkness. ‘Great!’ I mumbled. I shuffled along the wall and cursed as I stubbed my toe on something and leaned down to feel a crate. I pushed it out of the way and reached up for the wall again and sighed with relief as I found the switch and the light came on. I had a look around and found a stray box of them, hidden behind the Orange and Passion fruit ones at the back of the storeroom and grabbed a bottle with a big grin on my face. I was about to make my way out when I heard the door open and close.

‘Lexi, seriously. I’m really busy. Why do we have to discuss stock in the stock room? What was wrong with the bar?’ he snapped.

‘Because I wanted to do it in private, Doug,’ she shot back. O shit, was she going to tell him now? In here?

‘Discuss stock in private?’ he sounded confused.

‘No, not stock I … I need to tell … shit.’

‘Lexi, just spit it out I have work to do,’ he sighed. I wavered, did I interrupt and excuse myself and risk scaring her off telling him? Or did I keep quiet and stay hidden behind this shelving unit and hope that they didn’t hear me?

‘You’re moving in with Sarah? You didn’t think it would be nice for me to hear that from you?’

‘I didn’t think you cared what I did anymore, Lex. You never hang out with me, you seem to always avoid meals at Gabe and Mia’s when Sarah’s there too and you’re not exactly friendly with her. You made it quite clear that we’re not friends anymore, just working colleagues. Why would I tell you? I haven’t told Jackson or any of the security team, what makes you so special?’ I cringed and looked around and saw another crate behind me and carefully lowered myself onto it. This felt kind of wrong, but it was also like a soap opera on TV, too good to miss.

‘Yeah, well she’s not exactly been very friendly to me either has she?’

‘What do you expect? She knows our history. You won’t expect Mia to put up with Gabe still seeing Chelsea, why should you be any different?’ he retorted. I nodded, he had a fair point there.

‘I thought I was different Doug, we had something, doesn’t that count for anything?’

‘Operative word being “had.” You threw it away Lex, not me. I didn’t want to break up, that was all on you. I had to put up with seeing you rub my face in it with Sam weeks after we split up, as well as all the other guys you were leaving Fazeleys with. Guess you really aren’t the settling down kind are you?’
Oooo, uncalled for Doug
,
that was a cheap shot,
I thought as I waited for Lexi to bite back.

‘So that’s how you think of me, huh? Good time Lexi who fucks around because she enjoys it?’

‘To be honest, I really don’t think about you much at all anymore,’ he replied.
Come on Lexi, fight back, tell him, he’s reacting from a place of hurt,
I thought as I tried to telepathically tell her
.

‘Jesus, Doug … you’re not making this easy for me are you?’ she sighed. I sat up a bit straighter. Bloody hell, she
was
going to tell him!

‘Making what easy for you? I still have no idea why you dragged me in here. It obviously wasn’t to do with stock and I don’t see what …’

I jumped as the bottles on the shelf next to me rattled and there was a silence, a silence except for the sound of …
kissing?
I quickly covered my mouth to stop a gasp escaping from my lips. O. MY. GOD. She’d thrown herself at him. The bottles kept rattling and I heard Doug making some kind of sexual grunting noise and screwed up my face.
That
I didn’t need to hear. Suddenly the bottle noise stopped and there was the sound of feet shuffling on the floor and panting.

‘Doug,’ Lexi uttered.

‘Lexi? What the fuck was that?’ he asked, the confusion in his voice obvious.

‘What do you think it was?’

‘You, launching yourself at my lips, unprovoked.’

‘O, so you’re going to make out like you didn’t just kiss me back and grope my arse. I felt your hard on, you enjoyed it.’

‘I’m with Sarah. I’m with bloody Sarah. What were you thinking?’

‘I’m in love with you.’ She said it so quickly I wondered if I’d heard her right.

‘You’re what?’ he gasped.

‘You heard me.’

‘You’re …
in love with me?
’

‘Yes,’ she whispered and I mouthed
‘Yes’
and did a fist pump in the air and had to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping.

‘Lexi? What the fuck’s wrong with you?’ he exclaimed. ‘
Nooooo,’
I mouthed with a shake of the head. Not the reaction we wanted Doug.

‘So, now I finally confess how I feel about you, all of a sudden there’s something wrong with me?’

‘You’re with Sam.’

‘I was with Sam. I ended it, because … because …’

‘Because what.’

‘I realised he wasn’t you.’

‘Fucking hell, Lex. I’m with Sarah, I’m house hunting with SARAH,’ he roared and I waited for someone to break the silence. Doug spoke again first. ‘What do you expect me to do with this information?’ he asked quietly. I bit my lip feeling suddenly nervous, and from a sudden desperate need to bloody pee again.

‘I hoped that you still felt the same about me and wanted to give it another go,’ she said quietly. I pulled a face as she put her heart out there, knowing how hard that was for her.

‘It’s been two years Lex, two bloody years,’ he sighed. ‘Why now? Why tell me now?’

‘Because I sort of only just realised and when I heard you were moving in with her I figured it was my last chance.’

‘You had your chance, you’re the first girl I ever fell in love with Lex, and you broke my fucking heart. I’ve moved on, I’m with Sarah now,’ he shot back and I covered my face with my hands. Shit, that wasn’t the reaction I’d expected and I’d encouraged her to stick herself out there.

‘Do you love her? Like you loved me?

‘Lexi, this conversation’s over. I need to go. I need to get out of here.’

‘Please Doug, just answer the question, I need to know,’ she begged. I wiped my tears on my sleeve and tried not to sniff.

‘What the hell do you want from me, Lexi? To break up with her and come running back to you and pick up where we left off?’

‘I want you to be honest with me, if you really love her and don’t have any feelings for me anymore I’ll deal with that and move on. But if there’s the slightest doubt in your mind about you and her, if you have
any
feelings left for me, I don’t want to pick up where we left off, I want to start again. I’ve changed, Doug.’

‘Yeah, well maybe I have too.’

‘Doug,
please.
Tell me,’ she pleaded. I looked up at the ceiling desperately trying not to burst into uncontrollable tears, this was vulnerable Lexi talking and I knew what it took for her to show that side of herself. I also had to clamp my knees together and squeeze my PC muscles, my bladder control at the moment was pitiful.

‘What do you want to hear?’ he yelled. ‘How much I’ve missed you? How every time I have a laugh or have fun with Sarah I think how it doesn’t feel as good as it felt with you? How whenever I tell her I love her I know deep in my heart I don’t love her as much as I do you? I still fucking care Lexi, I still fucking love you. Is that what you wanted to hear? You want me to choose? To risk a stable relationship of two years with a sweet adorable girl to try again with you, then have you run out on me again when it gets too intense for you?’

‘This was a mistake, I need to go,’ she sobbed.

‘Lex, shit, I’m sorry. Don’t cry, you know I can’t deal with crying.’

‘Doug please, let me go.’

‘Don’t go,’ he sighed. ‘I miss you too. I just can’t believe you’re telling me this now. Shit Lex, of course I still love you,’ he groaned. My shoulders raised along with my smile as I tried to blow my nose quietly. I giggled as I heard them kissing and then looked at the shelf wide eyed as it started to shake, the bottles rattling violently. When I heard the sound of a zip going down that was my limit, along with my bladders. I quickly got up and grabbed my bottle of drink and hurried around the corner and heard a gasp.

‘Sorry, don’t mind me, carry on. Came to find this bottle of J2O,’ I waved it in their general direction, ‘Someone needs to talk to management, this room is bloody
huge
. I took a wrong turn and ended up in bloody Narnia. It’s taken me forever to find my way back out and I need to pee,
soooo bad,
we’re talking Niagara falls times …
four
,’ I uttered. ‘See you later, I’ll be in my office if anyone needs to talk, calmly, I’m no Jerry Springer.’ I pulled the door to behind me, then quickly closed my eyes and opened it and stuck my head back in. ‘O don’t worry, we’ll ignore the employee fraternization clause for one night only. As you were, Soldiers.’  

I quickly hurried up to the toilets.
As you were Soldiers? Where the bloody hell did that come from?
I thought as I sighed with relief, nothing beat having a good pee when you’d been holding it forever. Except maybe sex with Gabe, or chocolate, or ice cream, or pizza. Pizza! I wondered if the delivery place around corner was open yet, I was feeling peckish again. I rubbed my stomach as I looked down. ‘See Junior, Daddy’s going to tell you that
I’m
stubborn, I’m going to tell you that
he’s
stubborn, but the real stubborn ones in the family are Auntie Lexi and Uncle Doug. If you find someone you love, you don’t wait two years to tell them, do you hear me? Now let’s go get us some food.’ I managed to finish the entire pizza before my office door opened and Lexi came in pushing something along the floor with her feet, before closing the door behind her.

‘I am interrupting?’

‘Of course not. Shit, I’m so sorry, Lex. You kind of barged in the store room and blurted to Doug and I didn’t want to ruin the moment.’

‘Bloody Narnia? If you swung a cat in there you’d knock it out on each wall. So you basically heard everything?’

‘Sorry,’ I shrugged. ‘At least I left before you got “jiggy wit it,” Smith style. You
did
get jiggy with it, right? You got Douged again?’

‘Yeah,’ she grinned with a pink hue to her face. ‘Twice. Sex that is, not the orgasms, I had more than two. God, with only having that one amazing time with him in the past I’d forgotten how good it could be.’

‘Better than Sam?’

‘Yeah,’ she giggled all school girl like. I clapped my hands.

‘So what now?’

‘I said I’d cover his shift tonight so he can go and talk to Sarah and tell her that it’s over and he’s coming over to mine later,’ she beamed. I screamed and jumped up and did a happy stomp of my feet before running to her and crushing her in my arms.

‘I’ve never felt so happy,’ I exclaimed. She laughed and stroked my hair.

‘That’s your hormone’s talking. I’m sure you’ve been happier than this with Gabe over the years.’

‘Yeah, well he doesn’t count. Not today. Today is a special day. Today is … Dexi Day.’