Infinity. (Infinity Series) (23 page)

Our movements, or should I say my movements, become more frenzied. Water sloshes around us, stirring up the hot tub enough that we’re splashing over the edges. It’s perfect. Wordlessly, I let go of my body and give into the orgasm that is building deep inside me. I don’t tell Colin that I’m close, but he must sense it, because he begins to drive harder inside of me while he maneuvers my hips. When I know that I’m seconds away from coming, I lean forward and take his swollen lips, mimicking our movements with my mouth. We’re frenzied without making a sound or breaking our connection. I silently orgasm as he thrusts inside me one last time, flooding my insides with himself.

Our kissing becomes gentler, sweeter, calmer, but no less loving or affectionate. I don’t want this to end. I’m not ready to discuss our real life outside of this hot tub. I don’t want to read “the end” on our fairytale.

He’s the first one to pull away. When he does, he takes my chin so he can look into my eyes. It’s a half moon out, so we have a soft spotlight overhead. There’s no doubt that his eyes are soft, dewy, with love for me. “Welcome home, Mrs. McKinney.”

Colin

As holidays go, Thanksgiving is one of my favorites. There’s no gift-giving pressures. There’s not much decorating. Plus, everyone comes to our house to celebrate with us if I’m playing at home. If it’s an away game, then we pick a night earlier in the week and celebrate it then.

It just so happens that this year, it’s a home game, so everyone, except for Amy went to my game on Thanksgiving Day. She decided to be the awesome aunt that she is and keep Ainsley company.

Fortunately, everyone is sleeping at a nearby hotel but Amy and Aiden. Amy is back to playing nanny—which is a gift—and Aiden and I have some business that we need to take care of, so it made more sense for him to stay with us.

This is the third time that Rachael and Aiden have been around each other since his marriage proposal took a gigantic shit. This is also the first holiday that they’ve spent with us since that momentous day. I had to have the bro talk with Aiden. The one that starts off with “I’ve got a nine-month-old kid. You can’t get so shit-faced that you pass out on the stairs again.” And ends with “She’s moved on. It’s been a year and half. You should too.” So far, they’ve been awkwardly polite to each other and have avoided being in the same room. Success in my book.

Charlie and the gang are in the kitchen, putting the final touches on our Thanksgiving feast, and I’m trying to work out the soreness in my ribs from today’s game. I’m feeling pretty damn lonely in the hot tub without my best girl in her string bikini, but then again, I’m sure our family doesn’t want to watch us have monkey sex while they eat their turkey. No, even I can admit that it’s best that Charlie stays out of the hot tub when our family is awake. But I will say that I’ve got some new spank-bank material from our last hot tub experience for when she leaves me again on Sunday.

“Hey, dick cheese! How’d you get out of making cream sauce for the broccoli?” Aiden asks as he pulls a chair over to the edge of the hot tub.

Ewww.
Not a great comment, Aiden
.

“I got punched in the ribs for sixty minutes by some asshole lineman that kept blowing snot on me anytime he got close.” Aiden’s eyes grow wide with horror, and apparently he decides to change the subject before I further explain the other grossness that happens during a game.

“It’s now perfectly clear why you keep playing football,” he quips as he forces a smile. There’s obviously something that he wants to discuss. He’s been acting odd – even for Aiden. I’ve watched him open his mouth as if to speak, just to shut it again. It’s been on the tip of his tongue since he arrived, but whatever it is, it’s obviously something that he doesn’t want to bring up.

Well, that doesn’t sound positive. “What the fuck have you done?” I ask preparing myself for another, “Aiden, you’re such a smart guy. How do you get yourself in these fucked up situations?” speeches.

“IsleptwithAmyafterthefuneral,” he rushes out, looking like he has a bad case of food poisoning.

“What? Is that English?” I take a swig from my water bottle and finish it off with a gulp before tossing it into the garbage pile I’ve started near the bushes by our bedroom.

He takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I slept with Amy after the funeral.” His head drops like Pancho’s when he knows he’s supposed to stay off the couch, but he just can’t help himself.

My jaw clinches, and I feel like pummeling my best friend. “You did what?” I grind out.

Aiden puts his hands up defensively. “Look, I really like her. It’s not like I just fucked her because she’s hot.”

I’ve come to think of Charlie’s sisters as my own. Amy in particular, because she’s lived with us for a while. I’m an only child. I can’t even pretend to know what it feels like to have siblings, but I do know that I will kill any motherfucker that makes the Collins’ girls cry.

My molars crunch together. “I’m going to give you thirty seconds to explain why I shouldn’t beat the shit out of you.”

Aiden knows that I’m dead serious and starts spilling his guts. “You’re the one who keeps telling me to move on from Rachael, and I’ve been trying. I’ve gone on some dates with girls in LA, but they all seem to have an angle. ‘Oh! You’re McKinney’s agent? Does he need a model for his next line?’ You know, that kind of shit.”

He leans forward and begins to fidget with an imaginary thread from his pants. “Every girl that I’ve met seems so fake. I’ve gotten to know Amy over the years, and have always really liked her. She’s got such a sweet, gentle way. She’s kind and beautiful. She laughs at my jokes and calms me when I’m upset. Frankly, she’s the polar opposite of Rachael.”

I will definitely agree with him there.

He pauses for a second, clearly getting into uncomfortable territory again. “I saw her so sad at her dad’s funeral, and I got this overwhelming feeling of just wanting to hold her and kiss her tears away. It’s like I didn’t even notice that Rachael was a couple of people from me.”

My surprise at his statement must show on my face, because he says, “I know. Can you believe it? Seeing Rachael didn’t even make me want to discover the bottom of a whiskey bottle. Anyway, after the lunch thing was over, I asked Amy if she’d like to go for a walk. And she said yes. We walked around some park for a long time and just talked to each other. Then, I asked if she wanted to come back to my hotel and watch a funny movie.”

Aiden’s eyes grow wide clearly about to defend himself. “I had no intention of sleeping with her when I invited her. I really just wanted to make her feel better.”

I’ve known Aiden for most of my life. I can tell how sincere he is. Now, that I’m really looking at him, he does have that dopey, I’m-in-love look about him.

“We ordered room service and bought a comedy on pay-per-view. It was just so natural. I snuggled her to my side, and one thing led to another.”

I throw my hand up, stopping him. “No more. I get it. Could you stop fishing in ponds so close to my wife? Find a beautiful blonde that isn’t Charlie’s best friend or sister?” Seriously, this is ridiculous. He lives in LA. There has to be a blonde there who won’t want him for just his ties to the entertainment industry.

“I know how this looks, but it’s really not like that. We’ve talked every night on the phone. When it’s time to say goodbye, I don’t want to hang up. I find something beautiful, and I want to buy it for her, or take a picture because I know that it’ll make her smile. I can’t believe that I’ve fallen for a girl that is the polar opposite of Rachael, but I think that it’s a good thing.”

I almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost. He fucks Amy over, and there’s going to be huge tension in our house. However, Aiden is a great dude. I know he wants to be married and have a family. Amy is a dream of a girl. I can see the two of them getting along well. “Don’t dick her over, okay? The surest way to get uninvited from family holidays is to piss off Charlie. She’ll have your nuts made into a keychain for The Tank if you fuck over Amy. That’s her little sister.” I lecture him, doing my best dad impression. Then it hits me. What would Jack think of my best friend dating his daughter? I laugh, knowing he’d be livid.

Aiden shakes his head and his face begins to relax as it occurs to him that I’m not going to beat his ass. “I know. And I have no intention of doing that. But, here’s the thing: Amy is afraid that you and Caroline are going to fire her if you find out.”

“Fire her? For what? Picking the wrong guy?” I couldn’t help but get my jab in. “She can’t help it that you drugged her drink.”

“It wasn’t like that, Colin, I swear. She…” Aiden starts pleading his case, again looking as innocent as can be.

I cut him off. “I know. I was kidding. As long as Amy is putting Ainsley’s needs first, I’m not upset that she’s seeing you.” I pause a heartbeat, and add, “But let me be clear, Aiden, you’re treading in dangerous water. I’m not kidding. You fuck her over and we will choose her over you. I don’t give a fuck that Ainsley is named after you or that you’re her godfather. Hell hath no fury like a pissed off Caroline Jane McKinney.”

Aiden nods and offers me his hand. I shake and give it one final, hard squeeze. “Let me be the one to break the news to Charlie.”

He looks very relieved.

****

Sunday, feels like a goddamn morgue in our house. All the family is gone but Aiden and Amy. I haven’t shared the news about their relationship with Charlie yet. Selfishly, I didn’t want to give us anything that might cause a fissure to form in our perfect week together.

When Ainsley began to babble in her bed this morning, I turned off the baby monitor and raced to my angel. She’s sitting up banging a soft toy that must have gotten left in her crib. Her gorgeous chubby cheeks light up when she sees me, and she reaches her arms out for me to pick her up.

Charlie keeps lecturing me. “Colin, she’s never going to learn to crawl if you carry her everywhere.” My reply, “Haven’t seen a kindergartener yet who couldn’t walk in to school on the first day.”

Ainsley babbles to me, and I swear that there might be a “da da” in the mix, but I refuse to count it until she looks at me and just says, “Da Da.” Then, my heart will overflow with joy.

“How’s Daddy’s baby princess this morning?” I ask her as I kiss both of her rosy cheeks. I carefully place her on the changing table and remove her night diaper. Then, I blow thousands of raspberries on her round tummy.

She kicks and wiggles with excitement, and it just eggs me on. I savor each Ainsley giggle, knowing that I won’t have them for another two weeks or even longer, and sadness grips my chest.

I remove her from her lavender PJs and replace them with an outfit that either Amy or Charlie left out for her to wear today. Her and I sit down in the middle of her room on the pink flower rug and choose toys that we want to play with. I find a set of stacking cups and show her how you can place them on top of one another, building a tower where I’m going to lock her up to keep nasty boys away. Once again, the thought of Aiden and me as teenagers flashes through my head and I shudder.

As if the kid understands me, she gives me a half smile and then uses her fat little hand to knock the tower down. The clanking sound must wake Pancho, because he quickly joins us for playtime.

I observe how gently she pets him. It’s really more like a very soft pat, but Pancho freaking eats it up. He begins to smother her face with licks, and she laughs harder, letting him bathe her with his tongue.

Noting the time, I know that these precious moments with my baby are coming to an end, so I pick her up and cradle her against me. “Daddy loves you with all of his heart, pumpkin. And you and I are going to be together every day very soon. I’m going to read you books every night, and sing you songs every morning. And I’m even thinking about teaching you how to two-step, but you’ve got to learn to walk first.”

She reaches up and grabs a bit of my hair that’s fallen on my forehead and gives it a tug. She laughs at how the curl springs back up. I hold her tightly to me, trying to memorize every inch of her. When I see her again, she’ll have grown. She’ll have learned a new skill and changed in appearance. I want to remember everything about how she feels in this second. I memorize her weight in my arms, and I inhale her fresh baby scent.

I begin to sing “Love Without End, Amen” by George Strait to my baby girl. It’s been our song since she came home from the hospital. I figured she should love George just as much as her mother and I do.

“I hate to break up the party, but we’ve got to hit the road,” Charlie says from behind me, sounding as sad as I feel.

Battery acid floods my stomach, and this all-consuming feeling of loneliness drowns me. I think about throwing something crazy out there, like, “Don’t leave. Let’s take Ainsley and disappear to another country.” Or, “Fuck football, I’ll go to Houston with you.”

I don’t do either. I get my breathing under control before Charlie notices. It’s not like she needs to add another stressor to her life. She’s already working herself to the point that I’m concerned about her. She’s so damn thin, and there are dark circles under her eyes. I’ll be glad when her dad’s practice is back on solid ground for more than just the obvious selfish reasons.

Charlie has mentioned more than once the obligation that she feels to her family and her dad’s memory to ensure that the practice he built is strong and in good hands before she turns it over. It’s admirable, really.

I begrudgingly pick up my daughter’s suitcase and carry it down the stairs while I balance Ainsley in my other arm, not wanting to let her go.
My daughter has a fucking suitcase to come to our house.
The irony is not lost on me.

Once we reach the foyer, I drop the pink-and-white polka dotted bag by the stairs and grab Charlie’s arm, spinning her around and pushing her up against the front door. “Look, if this is about money, just tell me how much. I’ll pay off the loan on the rehab equipment. Tell me what I have to do to keep you and Ainsley here with me.” It’s a plea, and I hope she hears the desperation in my voice.