Inside Out (26 page)

“Red, we’re sleeping until at least eleven. Then I’m going to ravish you, and we can nap until we decide if we want food or not.”

She felt her grin all the way to her toes. All the happy he brought to her life made her giddy. “It’s been a very long time since I’ve smiled this much,” she murmured, watching the sky purple, deepen into night.

“Thank you.”

“No. Thank you. Thank you for the package. I had the perfect frame to put the drawing in. I’m . . . well to say I’m touched and flattered doesn’t really do justice to how it made me feel. And you’ve been hiding another talent from me. Are you good at everything?”

He took her hand casually. “Now
I’m
touched and flattered. Which talent are you referring to?”

“The drawing. And what poem did you quote?”

“That’s mine, the poem that is. Just a little something. The drawing’s just a scribble. Nothing major.”

Was he kidding? “Nothing major? Get out of town. It’s beautiful. So you’re a poet, and artist and you do amazing woodwork? Damn, Andrew Copeland, you’re hiding your light under a bushel.”

“
You’re
beautiful, Ella. I just let the pen put a small part of you on paper.”

Do you just not know? How can you not see how wonderful you truly are?
She thought about this a lot as they finished the drive west. How could he not know? Did his parents just not ever tell him how wonderful he was? Despite his father’s asinine behavior of late, Annalee seemed to adore her children.

“Here we are,” he said, pulling down a quiet street that fronted the sandy dunes and the water just feet away.

“Wow.” She got out once he’d parked. The sharp scent of sand and salt water painted the evening air. It was cold enough she needed to clutch the front of her sweater together to ward off a chill.

And he was there, beside her, putting his arms around her. “Mmm. You feel good. Come on inside. We’ll drop off the bags and head to the restaurant.”

The place was lovely, romantic and intimate. The meal had been pleasant as Andrew held her hand while they talked about everything under the sun.

Until the bill came.

She reached for her bag, and his eyes goggled. “What are you doing?”

“Helping pay.”

He shook his head. “No you’re not. I invited you away for the weekend. I invited you for dinner. I’ve got this.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I want to help.”

“You tried this the other day at Top Pot too. I’ve got my own company; I make more money than you do. It’s silly to try to pace me like I have a mental tally in my head. I don’t.”

He studied her as she tried to figure out how to let it go or else make him see her perspective.

“Remember when I told you you were transparent, and everything you felt showed on your face?” He kissed her knuckles. “Tell me. This is clearly more than you feeling generous or like you ordered lobster or something.”

“I like to pay my own way. Paying my own way means I own everything in my life, all my decisions, good and bad. No one can take it away from me because it’s mine.”

He got it then.

“Ella, I get it. But I’m not him.”

She put her fist on the table, and he took that one too, kissing it, unfurling her fingers and wrapping them with his own. “I’m not keeping a tally, nor do I want to. I have no desire to control your life or your destiny. It’s dinner, and I’ll be taking you out a lot; it’s what couples do. You can’t pay every time, nor do I want you to. Why don’t we meet in the middle? You can pay the tip?”

“The middle is twenty percent of this meal? I told you I didn’t become a doctor because I hated math, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get math at all.”

He sighed. “Since you’re being so honest, let me be too. I hate this. I hate that, even though I know this isn’t about me, that it’s about me anyway. I don’t want to tell you what to wear or who to be friends with. I want you to be in my life because you like it. I get this, I do, but I don’t want it to be part of what we have.”

She blinked several times, peeked at the bill and tossed down a tip closer to 30 percent than 20 percent. “What? The service was very good, and they did those substitutions for us.”

He grinned, kissing her hard and fast. “All right then.”

Bundled up, they’d walked along the beach, not needing words. He kept an arm around her, loving how they fit together so well. And when they got back to the house, they’d paused on the deck, looking out over the water, listening to roaring white noise of the sea.

Funny how quickly he’d gotten used to how she looked as his woman. Having her there to put an arm around, to hold her hand. But it was his ability to touch her, touch every part of her, that he loved most. She was his to caress, to kiss and nuzzle, his to breathe in at the hollow of her throat.

He turned her to face him, the deck railing at her back. “Hi there.” He kissed her.

“Mmm. Hi yourself. I’m stuffed, warm, wrapped in your arms. Dude, this is pretty damned good as life moments go.”

He skimmed his hands up, over her hips, beneath the hem of her sweater until they found her breasts. “Love these.”

She smiled, head tipping back, body arching into his touch.

“I knew she was in there,” he murmured, nuzzling her neck as he moved the cups of her bra down to get to her nipples.

“Who?”

“The woman who arches her back to get more from me. Sensual. Beautiful. The woman who glories in her sexuality and allure.”

She snorted a laugh, and he pulled her inside.

Not bothering to stop pulling her clothes off as they made it to the pillow-strewn floor in front of the fireplace, he rolled her onto her back. “You laugh?”

“I’m so not those things.
You
are those things.”

“I have an aching cock that says different.” He looked at her as he eased her panties off, leaving her totally naked to his gaze. He loved that she no longer hid her scars from him. Dropping a kiss on the hollow of her hip, he licked his way to her belly button.

“It’s my turn,” she gasped out.

“I’m trying,” he said before finding her clit and giving it a lick.

“Oh. Well, that’s not what I meant, but”—she made that sex sigh he loved so much, and he wanted to laugh at how easily swayed she’d been—“I’m so easy.”

He did laugh at that while he situated himself between her thighs. “Thank God for it.”

Two orgasms later, he slid into her body just as she opened her eyes and met his. The shock of recognition made him freeze a moment at the raw intimacy of it. He was exposed. Turned upside down by the way she
saw
him.

She used that moment to change her position and roll him over. “I like it this way. I like looking down at the most beautiful man in creation. Naked and spread out for me.”

“You give good compliment, darlin’.” What else could he say? That he was ass over teakettle in love with her? He wanted to, but he didn’t want to scare her or move too fast.

Still, as she undulated her hips, rising and falling over his cock, she burned herself into his heart, into his soul, and there was nothing else inside but what she did to him.

He came as he looked up her body, over the curves of her breasts, the points of her nipples, puffy from desire, the line of her collarbone and the elegant neck. “Beautiful.”

He was addicted to Ella Tipton’s presence in his life. Needed her in ways that scared him, even as they thrilled him.

Ella smiled up at Cope as he put a mug of tea at her left hand. She’d been working on a paper, the last major assignment she had. She finished her practicum already, had done her fieldwork. Essentially, she was done once the paper was turned in.

But she was neglecting him, and he’d taken the time to be with her. He was probably mad about that.

“I’m sorry. Let me put this away, and we can hang out,” she said, finishing up the sentence she’d been typing into her notebook computer.

He leaned in, touching her arm. “Hey, no stress at all. It’s important, and I’m not going anywhere. Just reading the paper and watching you. Take your time, Red.”

Oh. The shame of it washed through her as she realized she’d been reacting like she had with Bill. Stupid and totally unwarranted.

She got up on not quite strong legs, and he jumped forward to steady her. “Babe, you okay?” He peered into her face, and to her great mortification, she burst into tears. He drew her into his arms, running his hands up and down her back. “Shhh. What is it? Ella, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry.”

He picked her up then, like it was easy, and bought them both to the couch before sitting, keeping her snuggled in his lap.

“Sorry for what? Did I do something wrong?”

Which only made it worse that he’d think it was him instead of her being all stupid and bound up inside over something that happened to her years before.

She shook her head. “No. Not you at all. It’s me. Just something stupid.”

“Your ex?”

“I’m dumb, Andrew. To be affected by something that happened so long ago. You’ve never done anything to merit a reaction like this. I’m”—she clapped her hands over her eyes—“humiliated. I’m so sorry. We can go back to Seattle. I’ve ruined everything.”

He tightened his hold, kissing her cheeks, kissing her eyelids and her temple. “Shhh. You’re not dumb. You’re one of the smartest people I know. Tell me. Tell me and let it go.”

She didn’t want to taint the weekend with that. “It’s not a pretty story. It’s not nice, and I don’t want to bring it here between us.”

He tipped her chin up, kissing her lips softly. “Baby, it’s already between us. You’re apologizing for something I don’t even understand over something that seems like nothing you’d need to apologize for.”

She tried to duck her head, but he wouldn’t let her. Finally she shook her head and moved his hand. “I can’t. I can’t look at you when I say it. I can’t. Please.”

He paused, blinking a few times. “Christ. Ella, I don’t know what to do here. I don’t want you to be ashamed. It’s not your fault. I don’t want you to think I agree that whatever you say is something you can’t say to my face. Because you can trust me not to judge you.”

“I can’t. It’s too humiliating. Please. I want to try to tell you, but I can’t deal with looking at you when I do. You’re something beautiful, and I don’t even know how I ever ended up with you like this. You’re something right. But what was before wasn’t right.”

“All right. Tell me how you need to tell me. But I want you to understand something, Ella Tipton. You can tell me anything. I admire you. I like you, and though it’s probably the way wrong time to say it, I love you. Look away if you need to, but you need to know that.”

She blew out a breath, her eyes widening and her heart thudding in her chest. Maybe he meant it like he loved her in the same way Elise loved her.

“You’re totally transparent, did you know that?” He grinned, kissing her hard and fast. “We can talk about the love thing after you tell me the other stuff. It can be a palate cleanser.”

She frowned at him, but he kept wearing that damned sexy grin. She took a deep breath and ducked her head. But left her hand wrapped in his. “It’s just that he had to be in the center of my focus at all times. I couldn’t read at home or do homework. He would be insulted if I paid attention to other stuff. It was just second nature, I guess. To see you there and feel guilty. And then ashamed.”

“It wasn’t the act of me bringing you tea that brought this on. Ella, please look at me.”

She did, raising her eyes to meet his, hanging on for dear life.

“You smiled at me. You finished your sentence and then said you’d be right with me. I told you it wasn’t a big deal. It was after that when it hit. What was it that pushed your buttons?”

“It hits sometimes. Well, no, these days it always hits in some totally random and unexpected way.” She licked her lips. “I knew you didn’t mean it that way. I knew you weren’t upset because I brought along my work to begin with. I wouldn’t have before. I gave up pretty much everything for him, so he could always be number one. You’re not like that. I know it. But some part of me deep down reacted that way. Like an animal. It’s not about you at all. I dragged you into it.”