Interrupted (The Progress Series) (4 page)

*

Every one of them portrayed her night with Jesse.

Saturday night was approaching faster than she had anticipated. She had less than one day to figure out what she was going to wear, how she’d fix her hair, and whether or not it was even considered a date to begin with.

Ugh. Sometimes I hate being a girl.

“Hey Charlie, you’re cut,” Karal said.

“Thanks.”

“How are you doing? Did you ever get to talk to Jesse before he left?”

“Nope.”

Karal tilted her head to one side in sympathy. “Do you want to hang out tonight after work, just me and you? We can grab a bottle of wine and chat at my place? I’ll get out of here in about forty-five minutes,” Karal said.

“Sure. I’ll finish up my side work and come over after I run home and change,” said Charlie.

“Great! See you in an hour or so.”

Charlie completed her work and punched out. She was feeling better than she had in the past two weeks because of Karal’s invitation. She now had a plan to be distracted that night, instead of dwelling on Jess.

*

Feeling resilient after two glasses of wine, Charlie and Karal stepped onto the balcony for a cigarette.

“Oh! The cold feels good,” Charlie said, lifting her face to the stars with her eyes closed. Breathing deeply, she let out a small shiver. She reached into her coat pocket and fished out a cigarette.

“It is way too cold out here. I sure do miss my cabin right about now,” said Karal.

The abrupt thought of Karal’s cabin made Charlie drop her wine glass. It shattered three stories below them with a resounding crack on the pavement.

She flashed back to her confident stroll toward the water, sticking her middle finger up in the moonlight toward Angie. She thought about the first time she saw Jesse that evening, his head tipped downward in shame for stalking her at the cabin. Then her mind overflowed with thoughts about their conversation on the beach, his confessions, his tone, his demeanor, and all of the things she adored about him. One by one, the things that made him tragic, strong, vulnerable, alive, and passionate came flooding back from her memory.

For the first time since Jess left, Charlie cried for him. She fell to the balcony floor and wrapped her arms around her knees, sobbing.

“Oh my gosh, Charlie! The glass wasn’t
that
important! I have five more.”

He hates me! I tore this poor man apart. He trusted me. He wanted me to stay. I left a beautiful, broken, naked man in his bed begging me to stay with him. I’m a horrible person. I’m nothing. I’m so stupid. I’m so selfish.

“Charlie, get up. You’re sitting in a pile of snow. What’s going on? Is this about Jess?” asked Karal.

Charlie stood and they walked back into the apartment. She sat down on the couch and covered herself with a blanket. She tried to talk between gasps, but realized none of it made sense, so she stopped trying.

He was so important to me. He taught me everything I know about myself. You’re such a selfish little bitch.

Karal made her a cup of tea and set it on the coffee table. By that point, most of Charlie’s crying was under control.

“Can you talk to me now?” Karal asked, sitting next to Charlie on the couch.

“I’m an ass,” Charlie blurted out.

Karal handed her a tissue. “No you’re not. Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“What happened between you two?”

*

For the next hour, Charlie attempted to sum up the relationship she had with Jess. She told Karal about the last night they spent together and all the things he said to her. She tried to explain what she was thinking and why she left him that night. How she felt liberated and strong, and how she had felt that if she stayed it would have only kept them in the same frenzied cycle. Having been miserable since he left, she wasn’t sure if she had made the right decision.

When Charlie was done, Karal threw herself back onto the couch. “Whew. That
is
quite the story, Charlie.”

After taking another tissue from the box on the table, Charlie wiped her nose and eyes.

“So let me get this straight. It was
because
of your friendship with Jess that you were strong enough to walk away from a guy like him. Ha, brilliant.” Karal turned to face Charlie and saw a fresh tear fall. “So what? Maybe you
are
an ass. Maybe you should be with him someday. But you made your choice, and it made sense to you at the time. Now is not the time that you and Jess are supposed to be together. Everything happens for a reason,” Karal said.

“I just wish I could apologize…”

“You already did, in the voicemail you left him. He could have called you. He could have come to see you. He knows where you live, where you work, and the places you go. If he’s pissed off at you, that’s his problem. You tried. He didn’t.”

“Oh God, Karal. Did I screw this up?”

Karal laughed and shook her head. “No. I personally
love
the fact that the bastard got what he deserved; a taste of his own medicine. I love a good boomerang story. But you can’t dwell on the “what ifs.” You just have to accept what happened and learn from it. You can have your time to grieve, but eventually you’ll see that what’s done is done. If you ever see him again, you can waste all the time you want with apologies, but I’m sure that with time he’ll understand what happened that night and why you did what you did.”

God, I hope you’re right.

“Thank you,” Charlie said, giving her a hug.

“For what?”

“For tonight; inviting me over, your advice. I guess I just needed someone to talk to.”

“Anytime,” Karal said smiling. “Do you want to crash here tonight?”

“No, I shouldn’t.” Thinking about her morning routine and the things she needed to take care of before her shift caused her to think about Samuel. “Oh shit, I have a date tomorrow! Crap. I’m just going to call him and cancel,” Charlie said, covering her face.

“You will do no such thing! Who is this guy?”

“He’s a friend from college. I actually don’t even know if it’s a date. I don’t have anything to wear…”

“See, Charlie, this is what I am talking about. Accept what happened with Jess and learn from it. It’s time to move on. He’s gone. Even if Mr. College isn’t the man you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, he is an important stepping stone. Go out with him and for crying out loud, have fun!” Karal said.

Charlie sniffed and a smile escaped.

Charlie continued to waver back and forth from feeling proud for closing a chapter in her life and the enormous guilt rattling in her mind over whether she had made the right choice for both of them. She felt like she was picking up pieces of herself scattered throughout her environment: at work, she had left her brain; at home, she had left her peace of mind; in her car, she had left her spirit. She tried to scoop them all up, one by one, and assemble them enough to appear pulled-together for her date. She felt incomplete and outside of herself.

Her phone rang. “Hello?”

“Hi, it’s Sam. Are we still on for tonight?” he asked.

“Yes. Actually, I got into work and they didn’t need me, so I’ll be sitting around until eight o’clock gets here. Can you still make it?”

“Hell yes I can! I just got off work. If you want to meet up sooner, just give me thirty minutes to take a shower,” he said. “Would you like me to pick you up?”

Oh. Um, maybe? No, probably not.

“I can just meet you there. Say, around seven?” she said.

“Great. I’ll see you then.”

“Bye.”

*

Charlie arrived at the restaurant fifteen minutes early. She sat in her car and lit a cigarette, listening to the radio.

Clear your head, Charlie. Keep this simple. And whatever you do, don’t mention Jess. This is a first date. There are rules. I think.

While exhaling her last drag, she heard a knock on her window. Startled, she turned to see who it was. She rolled down her window.

“You’re early,” Sam said.

She smiled, “So are you.”

He nudged his head toward the restaurant. “C’mon, let’s go get some wings.”

They entered the restaurant and the only seats available were at the bar. They pulled up two stools and sat down.

“I’ve never been here before. There’s got to be over fifty televisions in this place,” she said.

“You’ve never been here? How is that possible?” he asked.

“I’m not a fan of spicy.”

Rolling his eyes, he let out a laugh. “Why did you agree to come to a wing place if you don’t like wings?”

“Don’t they have other things on the menu?” She opened up the menu and panned her options. “Okay, maybe they don’t. But, I like beer.”

“Why don’t we go someplace else, then? I want you to eat something.”

“I’ll try the wings, it’s fine. Besides, if I don’t like them, then I won’t be adding any more inches to my ass.” She giggled, trying to ignore his glance downward.

They ordered their beers and wings and Charlie guzzled half her beer within minutes.

“Are you nervous about something?” he asked.

“Why do you ask that?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman drink like that.”

Embarrassed, she set her mug down on the bar. “Kind of. Perhaps you can clarify something for me,” she said. He leaned in closer, urging her to continue. She took a deep breath before she spoke again. “It’s been over five years since I saw you last. We didn’t talk a ton in college, so I’m not quite sure how to read you. So I’m just going to ask—is this a
date
-date, or just two old friends hanging out?”

A smile emerged along with a quick laugh. “I’m glad you’re asking me this question, because I wasn’t sure what you thought
this
was. I am considering this a date.”

Charlie nodded and took a deep breath. “Then, please forget that I mentioned anything about adding inches to my ass earlier. That was inappropriate for a date.”

Stupid. Stupid.

Samuel let out a quick laugh. “Don’t worry, Charlie. Believe me when I tell you…your
ass
is doing just fine.”

A sheepish grin emerged and she shook her head. “Sorry, I’m not very used to this. I have to be honest with you: I have…
limited
experience with dating.” She felt a little silly in her admission, nervously tugging at her ear and avoiding eye contact.

“Its fine, Charlie. Would it make you feel better if I told you I was nervous, too?”

She gave him a smile. “Yeah, I guess it does make me a feel a little better.”

She tipped her head upward and glanced at his face. A small smile hinted at the corners of his blue eyes and he looked away.

“So, tell me what you do for a living,” she said.

“Well, after college I was a graphic designer for a while. But the economy squashed that quickly, especially for an entry level graphic artist. So, I started my own business. I started designing CD covers for local bands and began writing for a marketing blog in the local online newspaper.”

“A writer, too?”

“Just my thoughts on marketing strategies for small businesses, artists and freelancers. It’s volunteer right now, but it looks good on a résumé.”

“A résumé? I haven’t had one of those since school. I’ve been gathering as many temporary part-time jobs as I can handle. I’m a real go-getter,” she said, laughing at the contradiction of their work ethics.

“Speaking of school, I meant to ask you, why the change? I mean, you were always the pretty, quiet girl in the corner. You took me by quite the surprise when I saw you at The Crimson the first time; you were charging through that front door like, I don’t know, you had just heard that Seals and Crofts were no longer a band.”

How does he know I like Seals and Crofts? Could he have remembered that from college? And pretty? I was the PRETTY girl in the corner?

“Wow. I guess we talked more in college than I can remember. How did you know I liked Seals and Crofts?” she asked, slightly amused.

He chewed the inside of his mouth, smirking, concealing something.

“I just remember you saying something about the song
Summer Breeze
once, that’s all. I remember going home and looking them up because I had never heard of them.
No one
likes Seals and Crofts, Charlie. No one in our generation, anyway.”

He remembers that?

Charlie could tell he was hiding something, but she remembered that there were “rules” to first dates, so she decided not to press him about it. Staying light and unintrusive was the best thing.

“Oh, that’s right. You dated…oh, what was her name…Amber! You were together for quite a while, if I remember correctly. What ever happened to her?”