Interrupted (The Progress Series) (2 page)

I can avoid her completely. We don’t have a single shift together for the next seven days.

Passing Karalee without acknowledgement, he walked outside and lit a cigarette.

Think. Think. I don’t want to go to
New Hampshire! Why am I even considering this?

Because, asshole, if you stay here you’ll run after her. You’ll get drunk and call her. You’ll bump into her at the gas station or the grocery store. This town isn’t big enough for you both to stay here and completely avoid each other. You have to go somewhere. Jake and Dennis are pissed, so you have no place to stay. No job. No girl. You’re fucked.

She has taken everything from me.

I’ve got nothing to lose.

Jesse walked back into the kitchen and saw Lawrence and Karalee chatting. He approached them, not caring what information might get back to Charlie.

“Count me in,” Jesse said with a nod.

“Good. I’ll call the guy. He’ll probably want a phone interview by the end of the week.”

“The sooner the better,” Jesse mumbled as he walked toward the employee restrooms.

He shut the door behind him and pulled off his shirt. Pressing on the bloody and oily bandage covering the tender skin beneath it, he winced at the pain. After grabbing a rough brown paper towel, he soaked it in warm water and applied slight pressure to get the bleeding to stop.

She had taken away the bullshit. She had successfully removed the misery from existence; it was so easy to forget when I was with her. And now it’s all back, and then some.

If I don’t get out of here, I don’t know how much fight I have left in me.

*

‘Remember me,’ she said. Oh don’t worry, Charlie, I have no intention of ever forgetting.

It had been seven days since Charlie had seen or spoken to Jesse—seven of the longest days of Charlie’s life. Filled with doubt, hesitation, tremors and remorse, her logic won every time her mind raced with thoughts about leaving Jesse that night. She was proud, but she was also very alone and afraid she made the wrong choice.

There were rumors at The Crimson that Jesse was going to quit, but no one seemed to know why. Nothing had been officially announced yet, but if he
was
leaving, then the Delivery Manager position would need to be filled. No postings were on the bulletin board for his position and Charlie hadn’t worked with him since seven days earlier.

*

When she arrived at work on a snowy morning, she removed her coat and gloves and hung them on the rack. She nervously looked for Jesse’s belongings but didn’t recognize any of the coats hanging there. In a stabbing disappointment, she walked out to the lobby to punch in.

“Hey Karal,” Charlie said.

“Hi, hon. How have you been?”

“Fine, I guess. You?”

“Good!” said Karal. “Hey, is it true that you and Jesse…ya know?”

Not wanting to answer the question, Charlie just shrugged her shoulders and exhaled. “Have you seen him lately?”

“Oh, you haven’t heard?” Karal asked, scratching her forehead.

“No, tell me,” Charlie said with urgency.

“His last night at The Crimson was yesterday,” Karal said. Her expression was sorrowful.

Charlie’s eyes opened wide and she couldn’t stop the word from escaping her lips. “No.”

In a haste to get to the back and find her phone, Charlie abruptly halted when she collided with Lawrence in the kitchen.

“Oh, hi. I was just going to have a quick smoke before my shift,” Charlie said.

“Oh, while you’re back here, I have something for you. Jesse left it last night,” Lawrence said while heading toward the office.

“Who?” she asked, following him. He didn’t answer.

In the office, he handed her an envelope with her name scribbled on the front.

“Thanks,” Charlie said.

“It’s probably just some tips you left on a table. Hurry up and smoke, it’s Parm and Pepp day,” he said.

Charlie couldn’t get to the smoking area fast enough. Her hands trembling, she quickly lit a cigarette and opened the envelope. Inside was a piece of paper with the words written,
for your dad,
wrapped around five hundred dollars in cash. The envelope also held her small silver teddy bear necklace. After that, the envelope was empty.

No note. No goodbye. Nothing.

Oh, Jess.

Her stomach felt hollow and her fingertips began losing sensation. She could feel her face burn against the chill of the air as her eyes glossed over, recalling the last words she spoke to him. “
Love isn’t supposed to be the place you go, just because you have no place left to run.”

Walking back into the restaurant, Charlie frantically searched for Karal to find some answers.

“Karal, do you have a minute?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Where is he?” Charlie asked.

“He put in for a transfer. The Crimson in
New Hampshire was looking for a Delivery Manager. So he got the job.”

“
New Hampshire? What… Why? So soon?” Charlie couldn’t disguise her anguish.

With her stomach turning over, Charlie listened to Karal talk about the
New Hampshire job. She explained in detail everything she knew about it: the city where The Crimson was located, the position and his start date—which was in less than two weeks. The Crimson gave him an allowance for moving expenses and new clothes. They also found him an apartment in which to stay.

“This isn’t happening.” Charlie put pressure on her temples and repeated the words out loud several times.

*

She went along with her day hoping that he would find her. She watched for him everywhere she went: the grocery store, the gas station, liquor store, and outside her bedroom window.

The next few days were more of the same. It became a habit to check every bicycle she saw on the road. She even sat in the bar at The Crimson on her nights off in hopes that he would stop in for one last goodbye to everyone.

He never showed.

As she paced around her room, she felt anxious. Her head was spinning with ideas about where he was and what he was doing. She was worried about the kind of trouble he could be getting into and whether or not she’d be able to see him before he left.

I’m not going to drive by his house. I’m not going to drive by his house. I’m not going to drive by his house.

I’m acting like an idiot! I’m the one who ended it. I’m the one who made a decision to stand strong and walk away. I thought I was so secure, and look at me now… The only person I’ve ever considered my best friend has vanished, and I know I’m part of the reason.

I can still feel him. I can still smell him.

In a panic, Charlie sat on her bed and dialed his number.

*

“Hey, this is Jess, leave me a message.” Beep.

Damn, his voicemail.

Before she could decide whether or not to leave a message, she could hear her voice begin to speak.

“Hi… It’s me. I know I don’t have any right to call you, but I just wanted to say goodbye. I haven’t seen you in a few days, and I know that’s my fault. I…am just… I don’t know what to say, except that I’m sorry and that I miss you. You don’t need to call me back; I just didn’t want you leaving without knowing that I will be thinking about you. Good luck out there. And remember that I’m always here for—” His voicemail cut her off.

Ugh! Stop being so impulsive! Go…bury your phone and keys in the backyard. Leave the guy alone. You’re giving him mixed messages; you’re being such a chick. Back off.

“Hey Charlie, whatcha doin’?” asked her dad.

Ripped from her angry thoughts, she softened her expression. “Oh, hey Dad. Nothing, just being a girl.” She rolled her eyes.

“Having problems with Jess? You sure are spending more time bumming around the house than usual.”

“Yeah. I just don’t know if I’ve made a mistake or not. One minute I’m so proud of myself for making the decision to let him go, and the next minute I’m acting like a stupid, silly, insecure little girl. I just miss him, I guess,” Charlie said.

“Well, I don’t know the whole story, but time heals all wounds. Everyone is brought into our lives for a reason. Whatever he is, whatever your story, he has shaped you to be who you will be
for your future. And believe me, Charlie, you’ll have to make tougher decisions than
him
in your lifetime. And I’m not worried about you, you always find a way to make it right. See, all of this is character-building. It thickens your skin,” he said while tugging on Charlie’s bandana. “What I know for sure is that you need to eat something, Char. There’s hardly anything left of you. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that you’ve taken the extra weight off, but it’s starting to get out of hand. I can see your hip bones and your face is starting to look hollow…”

Charlie looked down shamefully. He never spoke like that unless he was really worried about her.

“C’mon, dinner is ready. Let’s go eat something. You might feel better afterward,” he said while nodding his head toward the steps. “Oh, I forgot to tell you… Sabrina will be here next week.”

“Oh yeah? And what brings her into town?”

“Oh, you know your sister…she misses home. She’s on spring break at school and we can’t afford to send her anywhere tropical. Well,
anywhere
for that matter.”

“You’re affording her college, that’s somewhere enough,” she said.

She helped her mother set the table and they all took their regular spots. She didn’t bring up the subject of Jess during the meal, and afterward she and her family played poker. It was a nice distraction, but she knew it was going to take much more time before the nagging pull of regret subsided.

A week had passed since Karal told her the news, and still no word from Jesse. He would probably be leaving for the east coast soon, if he hadn’t already. No one at work had seen him, and Charlie was getting more anxious by the hour. She went to The Crimson and sat in the bar, waiting.

“Hey there,” Marco said, taking a seat in Charlie’s booth.

“Oh, hey. How are you?”

“Not too bad, how are you holding up?” Marco’s eyes were sympathetic.

“That obvious, huh?”

“No, not
obvious
. But I know where you’re at, I’ve been there myself. Have you spoken to him?”

“No. I called him the other day and he hasn’t returned my call. I was just hoping he’d need to come here for some reason.”

“May I sit with you a while?” he asked.

“Of course.” Charlie smiled.

“So, what are you going to do now?”

“What can I do? I’ve called him. I’m all but stalking the poor man right now. But even if he
did
show up, I wouldn’t know what to say to him,” she said.

“Can I help at all?”

“Unless you can find out whether or not he’s left for New Hampshire yet, I’ll just be waiting here for him.”

“Let me see what I can do.” Marco jumped out of the booth and walked into the kitchen.

Charlie tried to sit patiently until his return. She felt like she was dancing in her seat, shifting and fidgeting. She could see Marco pacing back and forth in the kitchen window, talking on his phone.

Finally, he came striding back to her booth.

“Well?” she said.

“Well, his flight leaves in the morning,” he said.

“Who told you?”

“Dom. He ran into Jess a few days ago. He thinks he said his flight leaves on Wednesday morning—tomorrow.”

“That would make sense. I think Karal said he starts the new job later this week,” she said.

“Well, it’s now or never. If you’re going to talk to him, you better find him tonight.”

“Do you think I should? I mean, I’ve called him and left him a message. If he wanted to speak to me, shouldn’t he have called me back?” Charlie asked, her stomach tied in knots.

“I don’t know. Guys have a lot of pride. But, you know him best. Whatever it is you decide to do, just don’t let this be something you regret,” he said.

She closed her eyes. It was clear now. She couldn’t let Jess leave without speaking to him.

“Thanks, Marco. I guess I better go then.”

Her heart was thumping as she grabbed her coat and purse and headed for the door.

“Charlie? Charlie Johnson? Is that you?” a man’s voice said.

Annoyed at the distraction, Charlie turned and saw a man with a medium build and a goatee. He was wearing a black and white bowling shirt and baggy jeans. There was a bandana covering his hair, but he seemed vaguely familiar. He was standing with a very tall blonde woman who Charlie didn’t recognize at all. Switching gears so quickly made it difficult to put her finger on how she knew him.

“Sam, Samuel Bordeaux. From college,” he said, waiting for her memory to come back.