Into the Fire (8 page)

Cara

My heart races as I walk away. I should be keeping my distance from Logan. I know what will happen if I don’t, but the imprint is too strong, and he seems to like me. He must. I can’t keep running into him by coincidence, can I? And why did I invite him to the falls? Now I have to beg Linette to stay with Jeremy so I can go out,
and
I have to convince Rachel, Nick, and even Rob to tag along. I’m in so far over my head.

The bell rings, indicating I’ve missed all of first period. Rachel comes out of biology with a look that could stop traffic. She spots me and before I can ask what’s wrong, she shoves a paper in my face. “Look at this! They put me in all honors classes next year! Do you believe this?”

I can’t help laughing. “This has to be a mistake.”

She pulls back, looking offended. “What are you saying?”

“Don’t give me that. You were just freaking out about it. We both know you don’t like school.”

“Fine, but a little support from my best friend would be nice. I mean, after the way you blew me off yesterday—”

“About that, I’m really sorry. I’m just stressed out.”

“Nick said he stayed with Jeremy for you while you picked up his prescription.”

“Yeah.” I don’t want to get into this. Lying the first time was bad enough. “Look, you should go get your schedule straightened out. I’ll tell Mr. Morrell you’re going to be late.”

“Thanks. Tell him I’ll be sure to hurry back so I don’t miss the mindless staring into space all period.”

“Rach, wait!” I grab her arm, but let go almost immediately. So far my temperature’s been under control today, but I can’t risk a scene at school. “Can you go to the falls later?”

“Can’t. Doctor’s appointment. Maybe tomorrow, though. See ya.”

I don’t feel like asking Nick and Rob to go if Rachel won’t be there. Looks like I’m going to have to cancel on Logan, and the only way I know to get ahold of him is through Linette. Yeah, if he has any feelings for me, they’re going to disappear when I blow him off for the third time via his housekeeper.

The day passes in a blur, and I’m actually happy when the final bell rings and I get to go home. Jeremy’s been working so hard to remember things. I’m eager to see the progress he’s made.

I drive home and pull up next to Linette’s car. She and Jeremy are shooting hoops in the driveway. “This looks like fun,” I say, stepping out of the car.

“Linette thought I deserved a reward for remembering so much today.”

I don’t get too excited, because I know he means remembering what he’s learned. He hasn’t actually recovered any memories. “That’s great, Jer, but what if people see you out here?”

Linette nods toward the house. “She’s right. School’s out now. You should get back inside.”

“Ugh, I can’t take being cooped up anymore.” He bangs the basketball against his head as he walks inside.

Linette snatches the ball away as we follow him into the house. “You’re going to scramble your brain doing that.”

“Good. Maybe I’ll jog a memory in the process.” He goes inside and flops on the couch in front of the TV. I’m tempted to tell him watching mindless shows isn’t going to help, but he probably needs a break. His head must be reeling with information by now.

“So when do you think he’ll be ready to go out with other people?” I want him to meet Logan. That can’t be too risky. He’s never met him, so he doesn’t have to worry about remembering anything.

Linette holds her hands up, not wanting to get in the middle of this. “That’s up to your mom.”

“Thanks for your help today,” I say, giving her a hug.

“No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jeremy,” she calls into the living room. He waves over his head without a word. Never seen him do that before. Linette grabs her purse and heads for the door. “Tomorrow’s your last day, right?”

“Yeah, we should be okay on our own after that.” One more day of school, and then I’m free for the summer. My last summer in this lifetime.

Linette pauses before she leaves. “You feeling okay? The beginning stages are the worst. They’ll get more manageable, though. The closer you get to your rebirth, the more you’ll be able to control the heat you give off.”

Emotion wells up inside me. I can’t control it, can’t keep it down. “Linette, I burned Logan yesterday,” I blurt out. “I didn’t mean to. I dropped my phone, and we both reached for it.”

“That explains why he was so hot-tempered when he got home. He called his father and said he wanted to spend the summer in New York with a friend.”

“I have to get a hold on this heat thing. I don’t want Logan hating this place because of me, because I’m the freak who can’t touch people without causing them bodily harm.

“I don’t think he dislikes Ashlan Falls because of you. Just the opposite, actually.”

“What do you mean?”

She leans closer and raises an eyebrow. “I heard him talking on his cell yesterday. He called some friend back in New York. They were talking like typical hormonal teenage boys.” She rolls her eyes. “Let me tell you, that’s one part of spying that I don’t like: overhearing things my ears shouldn’t hear at my age.”

“What did he say?” She’s killing me here!

“That boy has the hots for you.”

“Nobody says ‘has the hots for you’ anymore.” I laugh, but inside I’m screaming, “Logan likes me!”

Linette shrugs. “I can’t keep up with you kids. I’ve lived too many lives to even try.” She waves goodbye, shutting the door behind her.

I turn to Jeremy, feeling full of life. He’s slumped on the couch with one leg up on the coffee table and his arm behind his head. I can’t help thinking of Rob.
Please, don’t turn out to be anything like him.
Jeremy is suffocating in this house. If he doesn’t get some human contact soon… “How do you feel about a field trip?”

He sits up straight and stares at me to see if I’m serious. “What do you mean? You’re the one who just told me to get back inside because someone might see me. Now you want to take me out in public?”

I shrug. “Yeah, well, playing basketball is a little much for someone supposedly recovering from mono.” I step closer to him, testing his emotions. He doesn’t back away. Good. “I’m proposing a picnic at the falls. I doubt anyone will be there.” Just Logan at one o’clock.

“Really?” His eyes light up, and he springs to his feet to shut off the TV. “When do we leave?”

“As soon as we make the sandwiches.”

His face scrunches up. “Does it have to be turkey and Swiss?”

“No. I was thinking we’d go old school. Peanut butter and jelly. Crunchy peanut butter, of course.”

I put on Jeremy’s favorite song while I make the sandwiches. He doesn’t remember it at all, but I refuse to let that ruin my mood. So far today’s been good. No fevers, no burning people. Maybe Linette’s right. Maybe I’ll get control over my body temperature. Maybe I can enjoy the last month of my first life. It’s better than dreading my rebirth.

“Ready?” I ask Jeremy as I pack up the sandwiches.

“You have no idea.” He stares up at the ceiling like he’s saying a silent prayer.

“You
always
used to do that!” My voice goes up an octave. “Whenever you really wanted something, you’d look up. Mom used to say you were sending your request to a higher power.”

“So I did that right?”

My good mood dies a little. “You don’t have to ask if what you’re doing is right. Do what feels right. Even if it’s not what you did in the past, it’s okay.” I say the words just as much for me as for him. I can’t make him be the same Jeremy again, and I can’t expect myself to be exactly the same in a month, either.

On the drive to the falls, I point out all the places we pass. “That’s the way to Monique’s café, up the road there.”

“Monique is one of us, right?”

“Right.” She’s in his memory book. We never know when we’re going to need to move, so most of the photos in the books we make are of family. Monique’s been an honorary member since Jeremy was in diapers. She even moved here before us to scout out the town. After she met Mr. Baker and Linette, we knew this was the place for us—even if only for a while.

“She’s a great cook, too.”

“Of course Mom told you that. If you forgot, Monique would be crushed.”

“I’ll pretend I remembered on my own, then.” He smiles at me, but it fades quickly. “I really wish I could remember more about you, Cara.”

“Don’t.” I shake my head and focus on the road. I’m having a good day. I don’t want to ruin it.

“Bet you’re wishing I was a bratty little brother who ruined your life, huh? Then you wouldn’t miss the old me.”

“I don’t wish that. I wouldn’t change anything. My childhood was great, and a lot of that is because of you. You never remembered Dad because you were too little. But I remembered him for a while, and whenever I was scared or I missed him, I’d crawl into your bed with you and I’d feel like he was still with us. Mom says you’re a lot like him.” I feel the tears coming, threatening to end what little happiness I’ve had.

Jeremy turns and stares out his window. I feel awful for bringing up Dad. Forcing these memories on him doesn’t seem fair—to either one of us.

I wipe my tears. “Did Mom tell you about the falls?”

“That’s where you went yesterday, right?”

“Yeah. I swim there every morning.”

“Mom said sometimes you’re more like a fish than a bird.”

I nod. “She might be right about that.” I pull up and see Logan sitting on the ledge by the lagoon. That gives me a little time to fill Jeremy in. “Okay, so there’s a new guy in town. Logan. You’ve never met, so you don’t need to worry about being around him.”

“Whoa, wait a second.” Jeremy reaches for my arm. “Did you bring me here so you could go on a date?”

“I’m not dating Logan.” I can’t keep this in. I have to tell someone. If Jeremy was his old self, I would’ve told him by now. “Jer, do you still know about imprinting?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Okay, well, you have to swear you won’t repeat this.”

“Who am I going to tell?”

I park the car and cut the engine. “Mom. She can’t know. Not yet, maybe not ever.”

“I don’t think I want to—” His eyes rise, finding Logan. “You imprinted on the new guy?”

“Yes. It’s not as bad as it sounds though.” Who am I kidding? It’s awful. I can’t stay away from him.

“You know you won’t remember him, right? I can’t even remember you and Mom.”

My throat closes, and I can’t talk. Every time he says that, it hurts as much as when he looked at me with no recognition in his eyes right after his rebirth. “You never imprinted on anyone before your rebirth. We don’t know that a bond like this isn’t strong enough to stand up to—”

He takes my hand in his and holds it up between us. “
This
wasn’t strong enough. You break down when I don’t remember things we shared. We have the same blood, Cara. You and this new guy have… what?”

“I imprinted on him. That has to mean something. The pull I feel toward him is so strong.”

“But it’s one-sided.”

“I thought so too, at first, but now I’m not sure. Linette said she overheard Logan talking to a friend. He likes me, Jer. He barely knows me, yet he’s already told me things I doubt he’s told his friends.”

“You’re putting a lot of faith in guesses.” He shakes his head. “My whole life feels like one big guess right now, and it’s not fun.” He sighs. “I may not remember how close we used to be, but I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. And I can tell you that losing your memories like this, seeing the disappointment and heartbreak on the faces of the people who you know love you… it’s the worst kind of bad.”

“Believe me, I want to end this. I want to break the imprint, but I don’t know how. I don’t even know if it’s possible.” I grip the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white. “I tell myself I’m not going to see him anymore. I’m going to fight this pull, but then his face pops into my head.” I release the steering wheel and gaze out the window. Logan is standing on the ledge now, shrugging at me and smiling. It’s such a weird combination, but that’s him. He’s a walking contradiction, and I love it. “I can’t shake him. He’s in my head, and for better or worse, he’s in my heart now, too.”

Logan

Why won’t she get out of the car? And who’s the guy with her? Boyfriend? It would explain her weird behavior around me, but what about the way she looks at me? I swim to the shore. Even if she’s got a guy already, it’s not like she’s married. Fair game in my mind.

She gets out and so does he. He’s tall—taller than me. Damn. He’s got reddish-blond hair, almost like Cara’s.
Please be her brother.
“Hey.” I grab my towel and walk over to her.

“Hey, Logan.” She turns to the other guy. “This is my brother, Jeremy. Jeremy, this is Logan.”

I can’t stop the goofy grin spreading across my face. “Hey, Jeremy. Nice to meet you.” I reach for his hand.

He looks at Cara, who nods, and he gives my hand a quick shake. Strange. “Hey” is all he says.

“So, I take it you’re feeling better? Mono can be a bitch. I had it about two years ago. Took me a week to get over feeling like I’d been hit by a Mack truck.”

Jeremy looks at Cara again. “Yeah. Getting better each day.”

Cara smiles. “He can’t overdo it, but I thought a picnic and a swim wouldn’t hurt.”

“Anyone else joining us?” I thought this was a group thing, not a meet-her-family kind of thing.

“Um, they sort of decided against it. I think they’re afraid Jeremy’s still contagious.”

I nod. Makes sense, but I can’t help feeling kind of ambushed. I have a rule against meeting family, but Cara’s making me go against every rule anyway, so why not this, too? “You want to eat first?” I didn’t pack a lunch—Linette made me a sandwich before I came—but I don’t want to ruin their plans.

Cara turns to Jeremy again. Do they always confer with each other before making decisions? That could mean trouble for me. “Sure,” she says.

“Sounds good,” Jeremy says, shoving his hands in his pockets. At least I’m not the only one feeling awkward.

Cara grabs a blanket from the trunk.