Into the Light (21 page)

“I wish I could tell you yes. If I had, I would have already given it to the police. Stella, we all want her back. I wouldn’t hold anything like that without sharing it.”

I shrugged. “It was worth a try. Thanks, Foster. Go find Bernard some more stories and stop worrying about Dylan.”

“Yes, ma’am. Bye.” The line went dead.

I took a deep breath. I wasn’t sure Mindy’s disappearance would ever get easier, not as long as I didn’t know. The thought of identifying her came back. I scrolled through my contacts until I found Tracy Howell, and I hit “Call.”

“Charlotte, so nice of you to call.”

I snickered. “I only do it because I love my new name. It’s like I have this whole dual personality thing happening.” After the first time she’d called me that, I’d learned that Charlotte was her sister. She’d recently spoken to her and it was the first name that had popped into her head.

“I was going to call you.”

“You were? Is it about Min—”

“No,” she interrupted. “No, this was about something else. Could I call you back tonight? Will you be free?”

“I can be. Give me a time.”

“How about six?”

“Sounds good, bye.” It was funny how even a glimmer of hope could make my body tingle with anticipation. I couldn’t wait to find out what she had to say. I looked at the corner of my screen. Damn, it was after one and I’d forgotten all about lunch. Grabbing my purse and phone, I logged off my computer and walked toward Bernard’s office, but before I reached the door I made myself stop and take a deep breath. I didn’t care if he was being nice. Having Dylan investigated was definitely a violation of my privacy. Another deep breath. I walked to his door.

“Bernard, I’m heading . . .” His office was empty. So I grabbed a Post-it from his desk and wrote him a note:

Bernard, Grabbing lunch and going to stake out a church for a couple hours. If you need me, call. Stella.

On the corner diagonally across from The Light was a burned-out house, its driveway blocked by an overgrown tree with saplings all around. I pulled my car behind the foliage and sat. In another few weeks this wouldn’t work, the leaves would be gone. As it was they were various shades of orange and red and doing a great job of hiding my gray car. Unfortunately, they also blocked my vision, seriously limiting my view of the church and totally blocking my view of the old school building. Before I’d parked, I’d driven around the old school twice. While there still wasn’t any indication that it was being used, I did see an alcove that I hadn’t noticed before. It faced toward Glendale Avenue, but what lay beyond was hidden inside. No matter how slow I drove, I couldn’t see if there was an actual door. My curiosity was building. Since this wasn’t the door I’d noticed with the chain and lock, and based on where I’d seen the women cross, it would be the only place they could have entered.

I looked for a worn path in the overgrown grass, but I didn’t find one. There was a cracked sidewalk that would hide footprints. I was sure Bernard wouldn’t appreciate my postponing this research until I could see tracks in the snow.

The streets weren’t as empty as they’d been the last time I was here. I watched the occasional man or woman walk across the intersection, but no one went into or out of The Light. I knew Dylan would be mad if he knew I was there, but that didn’t stop me. I’d driven to my apartment from WCJB and grabbed a bite to eat. There I’d developed a plan. I’d run. It didn’t matter that I’d gone five miles this morning; a woman jogging along the streets would be less conspicuous than one walking, especially one with a thousand-dollar camera.

After one more look around, I eased myself from my car into the autumn air. The afternoon sun had raised the temperature considerably since my morning run, yet again I wore long tight running pants and a long-sleeved T. Putting my purse in the trunk of my car with my camera, I grabbed my keys and phone. With my phone in hand, I hit my camera app and stretched, all the while watching for anyone.

Taking a deep breath, I headed east.

While driving I’d noticed a small park about a half a block past The Light. I started running toward it. The dilapidated surface of the road required my attention as I evened my strides. The last thing I wanted was a twisted ankle during my reconnaissance mission. I slowed as I neared the gate that I presumed the women had entered. There was a rust-free chain holding it closed. I snapped a picture. I’d need to compare it to the pictures I’d taken last time, but I didn’t remember the lock being there. Without getting through the fence, there was no way I could be sure there was a door in the alcove.

As I snapped the picture, I noticed the same SUV I’d seen before turn onto Second Avenue and head toward me. I moved to the side of the street, placed the phone to my ear, and continued to run. Keeping my head down, I watched as the SUV eased into the same parking lot as before. When I turned into the park, I stopped and watched through the colorful bushes. This time four men got out of the SUV.
Damn, I want my Nikon.

Using my phone, I snapped pictures as they made their way out of the vehicle and around to a back entrance. Three of them were wearing blue jeans as before, but one was in a suit. I gasped. That was the man I’d seen earlier today on the website, Gabriel Clark.

What do they call him? Father Gabriel?

I was about to stop photographing when the men opened the door and a stream of women came out. Each one appeared to bow her head as she passed the men. They were headed toward the school.

Shit! Fuck!

I wanted to run back in that direction, but could I? The men had seen me running, and they were still in the parking lot. I watched from a distance as one of the women opened the gate and the rest entered. Then, after the gate was secure, they all disappeared into the alcove.

I knew it!!!

CHAPTER 21

Sara

Father Gabriel’s strong recorded voice echoed throughout the living quarters. I walked the length of the room and tried to concentrate on his lesson. While his teachings were instructional and some of his stories made me smile, listening while sitting on the sofa wasn’t working for me. Despite my best efforts, my eyes kept closing, and I was pretty sure I’d even fallen asleep more than once. It wasn’t that Father Gabriel’s lessons were boring or that I wasn’t curious to learn more about what we believed, it was that Jacob had needed to wake earlier than normal this morning, which meant I had too. Though Jacob still didn’t think I was healed enough for
all
my wifely duties, despite my current lack of vision I was able to make him coffee and breakfast each morning.

He and Brother Micah left before five o’clock this morning to retrieve Father Gabriel from the Eastern Light. Jacob had taken him to the Western Light less than a week ago. I didn’t know how Father Gabriel got from the Western to the Eastern Light, where those places were, or even how far apart they were from one another. Though I was curious, I didn’t ask. I knew that if I talked about these things to Elizabeth or Raquel they’d tell me that if I needed to know, Jacob would tell me. They’d also tell me that I should be happy with whatever information my husband gave, and I was. After all, if he hadn’t told me where he was going and when he’d be back, I wouldn’t have known when to be ready to greet him.

During this first week of banishment, he’d done other things to help me. One was finding me a clock without a covering over the hands. With it I could tell time by myself, which was especially helpful while he was away. Every step toward more independence helped me feel stronger and more like the person I believed I had been before I lost my memories.

Although Jacob told me when to expect him, his arrival was contingent on Father Gabriel. Wherever the Eastern Light was, I figured it was far away, because even though he and Brother Micah left early, they weren’t scheduled to return until after six in the evening. I suspected that their goal was to have Father Gabriel back to the Northern Light in time for tonight’s service.

Even if Father Gabriel made it back in time, Jacob and I still weren’t allowed to attend. Not only had we missed last Sunday’s, we’d be missing one more week. We’d almost completed our first week of banishment.

During our time away I’d learned more about asking and questioning. When I asked how The Light had service with Father Gabriel gone, Jacob explained that Father Gabriel could conduct service from anywhere. His image was projected on a big screen in the temple, and with the technology he could even see all the followers. Since I couldn’t remember any of what he described, I was becoming increasingly anxious to see it with my own eyes. I’d had contact only with Jacob since we’d arrived at the pole barn. Though Brother Micah worked in the hangar, he never entered the living quarters. I hadn’t even heard his voice; most of the time I knew he was there only because of the noises coming from the other end of the building. However, noises didn’t necessarily indicate his presence; according to Jacob, other men came to load and unload supplies as well as help maintain the planes. He mentioned them as a reminder that I wasn’t allowed to leave the living quarters. With our banishment, I was allowed to speak only to Jacob and the Commissioners or their wives.

I didn’t care about the Commission; mostly I missed Raquel and Elizabeth. Since I’d woken from the accident, my world had seemed very small. The longer we were separated, the more I realized the important role my friends played.

The other day, after everyone left the hangar, Jacob took me out and gave me a tour. I couldn’t see the planes, but I could experience them. First he took me inside the smaller plane. It had two seats for pilots, a large open area for cargo, and even multiple jump seats for extra or unexpected passengers. Because we were so far away from everything, with so many people, I understood why he needed to transport a lot of supplies; what I didn’t understand was how or why he had unexpected passengers, but I didn’t ask. Even though there were two pilots’ seats, apparently the smaller plane could be flown solo. I figured it was the one Brother Micah used while Jacob was with me.

As soon as Jacob opened the cabin of the second jet, I knew it was different. If he flew in it often, the luxurious interior undoubtedly added to his signature scent. The furnishings in the passenger cabin were covered in the softest leather I recalled ever feeling. Walking up and down the aisle, I ran my fingers over the multiple chairs and the sleek interior. Unlike the smaller plane, this jet required two pilots. Jacob laughed when I sat in one of the cushy chairs and told him I was ready for him to take me someplace, now or later. Since the jet held ten people and usually flew only Brother Micah, Jacob, and Father Gabriel, I’d been serious. If Father Gabriel had been restricted to the smaller plane while I was in the clinic, I understood why he wanted Jacob back to work.

Even though I was essentially as trapped in the pole barn as I had been in the clinic, I wasn’t in a hurry to leave. I knew this was punishment, and I shouldn’t like it, but I kind of did. It gave me a chance to stop worrying about a past I couldn’t remember and relearn my role as Jacob’s wife. Things were continuing to improve since the first day when I’d forgotten to greet him at the door. Thankfully our banishment was the only punishment I’d endured since the previous week. My goal was to keep it that way. As long as I kept that eerie calmness out of Jacob’s voice, I was even beginning to enjoy his company.

Sometimes the wind would howl, and I’d think about the polar bears. However, knowing how big the pole barn was eased some of my worry. The living quarters were only a tiny part compared to the building as a whole. After all, the hangar had to be large enough to hold two jets, as well as all sorts of other things, like cool carts that attached to the jets and moved them in and out of the hangar. There was also a whole shop area with tools and an office area with desks and computers. When I thanked Jacob for my tour, he said I’d been out there before. Of course, I didn’t remember.

Just as I finished rewinding Father Gabriel’s lesson, the sound of the rising garage door startled me. After that first day, I’d gotten very good at distinguishing that sound from other clatter. I hurried to the clock, wondering if I’d slept more than I’d realized, but it was only twenty minutes after three. Jacob wasn’t due back for more than three hours.

My pulse raced as I stood in dark silence, waiting for a knock. With each moment my nerves stretched and my palms moistened. With my blood pumping in my ears, I wondered what to do. I hadn’t gone through the door to the garage without Jacob and suddenly wondered if it even had a lock.

The knock never came; instead I held my breath as my fear materialized and the door opened. As soon as the click of high heels upon the wood floor registered, I recognized my guest.

She wasn’t alone. When she entered I’d heard two distinct sets of footsteps. Figuring the other person was either Sister Ruth or Brother Timothy I sighed with relief, knowing that they were people with whom I could speak. I was also glad that I’d restarted the lesson. If they’d entered with the recording near the end, with the way my mind was wandering, I’m sure I would’ve failed their round of twenty questions.

“Sister Sara,” Sister Lilith finally greeted me.

“Sister Lilith,” I replied.

“We heard that Brother Jacob would be gone and decided this was a good opportunity to speak to you.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you.”

“Hmmm,” she hummed.

Her strange reply brought the fine hairs on my arms to attention. While the unique scent of her perfume, as well as her steps, let me know she was getting closer, the citrus reminded me that I didn’t smell vanilla. Sister Ruth wasn’t the person still near the door. I took a chance and turned in that direction.

“Brother Timothy, welcome.”

“Sister,” he said.

“I see you’re adapting well without sight,” Sister Lilith said. “I do hope that your eyes will be better soon.”

“Thank you; I’m patient for God’s time.”

As silence filled with the click-clack of her high heels, I envisioned her taking a white glove and evaluating my housecleaning skills. If she was, I wasn’t concerned. I’d dusted, pushed a dust mop back and forth, and even washed and put away my dishes from lunch.

“Sister, we have questions and feel it’s time for your answers,” Brother Timothy said.

This wasn’t right. Jacob had said I didn’t need to go before the Commission. I struggled with my next move. If it had been only Lilith, I could’ve questioned her, but it wasn’t. I knew from experience that I couldn’t question Brother Timothy. Reaching for one of the four chairs at the table, I did my best to weigh each word. “Brother, Sister, if you’d like, we may sit, and I’ll be happy to answer anything that Brother Jacob has given me permission to discuss.”

Chairs moved, the screech of the legs over the floor indicating my guests’ locations. Since the person on my right sat first, that was Brother Timothy. I waited until Sister Lilith was seated before I sat.

“Sara,” Sister Lilith began. “While I’m pleased with your progress, I’m here on behalf of the Commission and Assembly wives.”

I couldn’t believe her. She’d lied about that before. Nevertheless I was careful about what I said. “Thank you for taking the time to come all the way out. I know that I’m only allowed to speak to the Commission and Commission wives. Your visit means a lot.”

“This is more than a visit,” Brother Timothy began. “This is officially part of your correction.”

My stomach twisted.

“Sister, I’m going to get straight to the matter at hand. Do you remember when I came to your room, right after you awoke after your incident?”

I turned toward his voice. “Yes, Brother Timothy, I do.”

“Do you remember me asking you questions about your incident?”

“Yes.”

“Do you remember your answers?”

My pulse quickened. “Brother, I must obey my husband. I haven’t received his permission to discuss this with you or anyone.”

“Sara,” Sister Lilith said. “Father Gabriel teaches that next to him, the Commission rules our community. Brother Timothy is one of Father Gabriel’s chosen. Brother Jacob may be on the Assembly, but he does not supersede my husband.”

“Sister, I’ve learned so much through your training. Thank you. I believe I learned that what you said is true for you. Since only Father Gabriel has the power to supersede our husbands, I must obey Jacob.” Though my heart was about to leap from my chest, I sat tall, confident in my response. Turing toward Brother Timothy I added, “I’m sorry, only with my husband’s permission may I answer your questions.”

“Sister,” he asked, his volume lowered. “Did Brother Jacob inform you that you could only speak with the Commission and their wives, or did he not?”

Shit!

“Yes, Brother, he did.”

“Are you aware that I’m on the Commission and that makes Sister Lilith a Commissioner’s wife?”

“Yes.”

“Does it not seem that Brother Jacob then indeed gave his permission?”

My head went from side to side, swinging the low ponytail I’d secured earlier this morning across my back. “I’m sorry. I don’t believe that he meant—”

“Sister.” Brother Timothy slapped the table. The reverberating sound caused me to jump as it echoed throughout the living quarters. “Do you presume to know what Brother Jacob meant? Are we to understand that you’ve been given the gift of discernment concerning all men or only your husband?”

“No, I don’t presume . . .”

“Rest assured that this will be discussed with Brother Jacob.”

My breaths came fast and shallow with the realization that I was not going to win. If I didn’t answer, Brother Timothy and Sister Lilith would tell of my lack of cooperation, if I did, I was disobeying Jacob. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.

Lilith spoke. “Sara, obeying your husband is your duty; however, so is being truthful. You told us, through Brother Jacob, that you remembered why you were in his truck. You said that you were obeying Brother Jacob. Now we’ve been told you don’t remember. Tell me, were you lying then . . . or now?”

“I’m not lying. I wasn’t.”

“So it was Brother Jacob then? An Assemblyman was the one who lied?”

“N-no, that’s not—”

“Brother Jacob testified before the Commission saying that you’re having difficulty with your memory. That was why my wife was helping you remember your training. Tell us, Sister, are you truly having problems with your memory, or are you selectively forgetting details to justify your behavior?”

“I am . . . I’m really having trouble.” I couldn’t think straight. They were twisting my words. I moved my slick palms to my lap and rubbed them over my skirt.

“So if you don’t remember what happened before your incident, tell us, who lied in your hospital room, you or Brother Jacob?” Brother Timothy questioned.

Shit!

“Please, please,” I begged. “If we could wait for Brother Jacob, when he’s home we can answer everything together.” Tears streamed from my bandages.

“Sister Sara, you do remember that this isn’t your home, don’t you?” Sister Lilith asked.

“Brother Jacob told me that we have an apartment. We’re only here for our banishment.”

“That’s correct. You’re here as punishment for your sins. When one among us transgresses, Father Gabriel teaches swift appropriate retribution for their disobedience. Do you remember that?” she asked.

“Yes, I mean, I know that now.”

“So you didn’t know that before, when you drove away in Brother Jacob’s truck?”

Once again my head moved from side to side. “I don’t remember what I was doing, but I do know about punishment.”

“Yes, Sister, I believe you do, and not solely in theory.” She leaned closer. “Tell us what Brother Jacob did last Wednesday after your lapse in judgment, after you had the audacity to question Father Gabriel.”

I wanted to disappear. That was supposed to be over. Jacob said it was over, but the glares I couldn’t see burned my skin, expecting my response. Balling my fists in my lap, I willed my tears to stay hidden; instead they slipped from my bandages onto my charred cheeks and interrupted my words. “He . . . punished . . . me.”