It's Not Christmas Without You (The Holloway Series) (7 page)

An hour later, Austin thought about breaking down the door to Carrie’s apartment. Waiting for her call nearly had killed him. He’d paced the lot and loaded trees onto cars in a zombie-like state. He might even have sold a tree for a buck. He couldn’t remember and really didn’t care.

When she finally texted, he’d sprinted across the street. Ignoring the car that almost knocked him off his feet and Spence’s yelling, he raced with only one thought in mind—getting to Carrie as quickly as possible.

Much more of that out-of-control behavior and someone might call the police. If the running and jumping didn’t do it, the way he was banging on Carrie’s door with the side of his fist might cause the neighbors to call 911.

The door flew open and Carrie stood there wearing the same skirt from dinner and her shirt now untucked. And nothing else. The blazer and shoes were gone. He got a peek at bare feet and pink toenails before she snapped her fingers and brought his gaze back to her face.

She shot him her usual are-you-out-of-your-mind look. “You have to give a woman five seconds to walk across her apartment before acting like an uncaged animal and banging like that.”

“It’s a small apartment.” The defense made sense to him but her frown deepened.

“I wanted to change.”

He wanted her naked and counted down the seconds until he could get her there. A man could only take so much. “Didn’t have to for me.”

He swept her inside and kicked the door shut behind him. A second later he had her pinned to the wall with her hands beside her head and his lips on hers. Rather than tame the beast inside him, Austin let him loose.

He kissed her with all the pent-up longing inside him. Hot and long, deep and intense. His mouth crossed hers over and over, first soft and then hard.

By the time he lifted his head, his breath came out in harsh pants. “I missed you so much.”

He whispered the confession against her mouth before moving to her neck and that delicious spot at the base of her throat. When she opened her legs, he moved between them and pushed her tighter against the wall. With a sharp intake of breath, she dropped her head to the side, giving him greater access and he took it. He nibbled his way across her collarbone, with soft bites and smooth kisses.

Her head rolled against the wall while small half breaths, half moans played on her lips. “We need to set out some rules.”

“Uh-huh.” He reached the top of her shirt and nudged it aside with his nose.

One of her hands slipped into his hair. “Austin.”

“Later.” When she inched her foot up his calf, tangling her toes in the material, he caught her under her knee and tugged her leg higher on his hip. The move pushed her skirt right to danger territory. Taking advantage, he shifted his lower half and rubbed his erection against her panties. Her heat radiated through his jeans as he stretched his body over hers.

“Yes.” Her fingers went to his shoulders and shoved and pulled.

He stepped back and let his jacket drop to the floor. Fingernails scratched through his shirt just before a cool blow of air brushed against his skin. Desperate to feel her hands all over him, he signaled his brain to move. His mouth left her skin only long enough to shrug off both shirts.

Then his chest was bare and her hands smoothed over his muscles. “We need to keep this in perspective.”

He had no idea what she was saying. The words blurred in his head as the heat thumped around them. He wanted her clothes off with skin against skin.

“We can talk after.” His hands moved to her shirt. Fingers shook as he struggled to free the tiny white buttons from their holdings. “I promise.”

He bent down and pressed a line of kisses over the skin he’d exposed. The creamy softness of the tops of her breasts. The peppery scent of her skin from the bath set he gave her for her last birthday. It all spun around him until the last of his control snapped.

He bent down and slipped her other leg around his waist, balancing her weight between the wall and his hips. Without any effort, he pulled back, taking her with him. He lifted her and felt her slim arms wrap around his neck. She pressed kisses across his jaw until she found his mouth again.

Knocked backward by the force of her kiss, he stopped. Standing in the middle of her family room with his heart hammering, he held her. His hands flexed on her bare thighs as his tongue slipped into her hot mouth.

After a few seconds, she swept the tip of her tongue over his lips. “Bedroom.”

She didn’t have to ask twice. He’d have a heart attack if he didn’t get inside her soon. Six months without her, thinking about her and remembering, kept him in a near-constant state of arousal. Even when he’d wanted to hate her, the need for her broke through.

“Austin.” She placed her palms on his cheeks. “Walk. Now.”

“Right.”

Easing his fingers under the elastic of her panties, he touched her. He felt her wetness as her hot breath blew across his ear.

He walked faster. His erection brushed against her panties with each step. When he hit the doorway to her bedroom, his arms shook. He could hold her forever. This was about tunneling under her clothes, stripping her bare and kissing every inch of her.

When his knees hit the bed, he turned and sat down. She straddled him with her knees pressing against his thighs. Her shirt hit the floor a second later.

With a click, he had her bra open. Sliding the straps down her arms, he unveiled her breasts. Round with tight nipples, pale and perfect for his hands. He caressed her with his hands and mouth, licking his way until he found her nipple.

“Now.” She tugged on his hair until he lifted his head. “You’re right, we can go slow later.”

His mouth covered hers as his hands pushed her skirt to her waist. He flipped her to the mattress, pressing her back deep into the comforter as his fingers tunneled under her panties to the very heat of her.

With his lips on her breasts and fingers sliding inside her, he managed to lift his head. “Back pocket.”

Her cloudy eyes didn’t clear. “What?”

“Condoms.”

Her hands reached around him then they were on him. Her palms smoothed over his erection right before the buttons on his jeans slipped open. One by one, the tension pulling at his erection eased. When she got to the last one, he fell into her hand.

Fingers wrapped around his length and his brain exploded. He tried to count backward from a hundred and couldn’t remember a single number. The slickness on his fingers said she was ready. The thumping in his erection let him know he was.

She’d asked for fast and was about to get it.

Balancing on one elbow, he reached down and peeled off her panties. He got the scrap of material down to her knees before she kicked it off. Then he was on top of her, his erection right at her opening. The rip registered in his brain right before her hands rolled the condom over him.

The final touch of her fingertips touched off the wildness inside him. Settling between her legs, he slowly slipped inside her, savoring the pressure as she closed around him. Filling her caused her mouth to drop open. Pulling in and out had her grabbing the covers next to her hips.

Instead of setting a steady rhythm and wooing her, he poured all of his desire into her. He pumped, shifting his hips and feeling her muscles squeeze and tighten around him. The room filled with the sounds and smells of their lovemaking. Breathing pushed out of him on a guttural groan.

Every bone in his body pulled tight to the point of snapping. The tension spiraled in his stomach then moved lower. He went faster. Deeper.

When she let out a harsh exhale and her fingernails dug into the mattress, he pressed forward one last time. That was all it took. Dark spots burst in his head as his hips moved without any message from his brain.

Her head fell back and his bent forward. Their bodies shook and tightened…and then let go.

His last rational thought was that it was about time this happened again.

Carrie burrowed deeper into Austin’s side. He was naked. She was naked. She hadn’t seen clothes or any room other than her bedroom for hours.

It was somewhere around three and he’d made love to her with his hands and mouth and body until every inch of her tingled. Years after their first time together, his stamina hadn’t waned. His expertise increased but his need didn’t seem to diminish.

And she loved him just as much as she ever had. More maybe.

If she were honest, she’d admit she never stopped. She loved him when she left and even more when he showed up in D.C. Having a man put his life and work on hold for you was pretty damn sexy.

Getting him to accept her life promised to take longer. She knew his visit signaled the end of his patience. He viewed her career as a whim she needed to exorcise.

She wanted to be offended, indignant, but part of her knew he didn’t understand. He’d known what he wanted to be from the time he was a kid. His father groomed him for it. What Austin didn’t get was that she felt the same way about working in a prestigious museum.

If she could just show him…

She smiled as she poked him in the side. “Austin.”

He came awake in a rush. He jackknifed into a sitting position and held his hands up as if ready to fight off whomever was about to launch an attack. “What is it?”

“I want you to come to a party.”

The tension didn’t ease across his shoulders. He didn’t lower his hands either. “Is that code for something?”

She slipped her arms around his stomach and placed a kiss on his impressive shoulder. By the second kiss, his firm stance melted and his body fell against hers.

“Sorry I scared you,” she said.

“More like put me on my guard, but you can wake me up in bed anytime.”

She pressed him back on the bed. Not a surprise he didn’t put up a fight. The man enjoyed being naked.

But she wanted his attention. Was suddenly desperate for him to understand and agree. “There’s a party at my museum at the beginning of the week. A fancy holiday party.”

“Okay.” He made the word into about eleven syllables.

“I want you to be my date.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “A real date. Not a Shawn date.”

“At the museum.” Austin said the words nice and slow as if he needed to taste them before committing.

“Yes.”

The hand that had been brushing up and down her arm fell to the bed. “Is this a test of some kind?”

She wanted to say no but she had to admit in a way it sort of was. An unfair one, maybe, but a chance for her to show him something that meant so much to her.

“You don’t have to look at the paintings. You just have to be there with me.”

A huge smile slashed across his face. “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

She bit her bottom lip. “Remember this is a big party.”

“You might want to stop trying to sell it since you’re going the other way now.”

“Is that a yes?”

He turned until he lay facing her. “Baby, I can’t think of a place you could go where I wouldn’t follow.”

“You need to wear a tux or at least a fancy suit.”

He stopped in the middle of rolling her to her back. “Probably a good thing you waited to tell me that until after I said yes.”

“I’m not stupid.”

“But you are sexy.” Her back hit the mattress and he loomed over her. “And awake. I’m pretty happy about that last part.”

That familiar revving started deep in her stomach. The thought he might touch her again so soon was enough to kick her breathing into high gear. “Noticed that, did you?”

“I say we put this thing where we’re both awake to good use.”

Then he lowered his head and she forgot about anything but him.

Carrie stood by the bar temporarily set up in the museum’s Great Hall and waited. Her sleeveless royal-blue dress fell soft around her and dusted the floor. She knew the rich velvet showed off her curves and hugged her body in all the right places. The sparkly broach, hiding her cleavage, gave her just a touch of bling for the festive night. It also caught the light from the three elaborate chandeliers hanging from the ceiling right above her.

She’d picked the dress for the party long before she knew Austin had come to town. It just so happened to be his favorite color on her. Total coincidence. Just like it was a coincidence the color filled her closet.

Right.

The museum’s towering entry looked like a magical fairyland filled with rows of tiny white lights and beautiful trees placed in baskets tied with holiday ribbon. A plush red carpet lay over the marble inlaid floor. Garland ran up the grand staircase that rose from each side of the large entry room and met at a landing on the second floor mezzanine. People weaved in and out of the bright poinsettias arranged on each step.

Visitors, dignitaries, patrons and artists walked along the open floor above while she nursed her drink. She’d been waiting for Austin for fifteen minutes and wondering if this plan would backfire. She’d hoped to show him her world and how he could fit in it, but he had to actually show up for her clever campaign to work.

“Hello.”

A fresh drink appeared in front of her. She turned around and smiled at Shawn.

Wrong man.

“You look very dapper.” She straightened his tie then stepped back. “How are you doing?”

“I’m impressed.”

She took the glass and deposited her other one on the tray of a passing server. “With what?”

“The room.” Shawn waved his hand in front of them. “As special events coordinator, most of the work fell to you.”

“It was a matter of calling and hiring people.” She also did a lot of ordering around and worrying the big party would be a bust.

If no one came or her boss turned out to be dissatisfied, Carrie’s new job could end during her year-long probation period. Her task was simple. She had to top last year’s event under the old coordinator everyone raved about and still professed to miss, yet do it for less money thanks to the failing economy.

Plus Carrie had to lure everyone in town to this party as opposed to one of the thousand other holiday parties being thrown across town. That meant her party had to sound more appealing than a get-together at the Kennedy Center and numerous embassy open houses. And she did it all while juggling her feelings for Austin.

Yeah, just a regular day at the office for Carrie Anders.

“The accountant in me is grateful you came in on budget,” Shawn said.

Carrie eyed an artist as he made a broad gesture and spilled white wine on the famous staircase. “The night’s not over yet.”

“I’m surprised you’re alone over here,” Shawn said.

“I needed a breather after saying hello to everyone I needed to welcome, but I doubt the moment of quiet will last for long. Someone will stumble by any second and want something.”

“I meant surprised Austin left you all alone while he’s on the other side of the room.” Shawn motioned toward the front door. “He strikes me as a bit more possessive than that.”

This time she was the one who spilled wine. Brushing drops off her dress, she scanned the room. “What?”

“There.”

She followed Shawn’s nod to Austin. He stood right by the entry steps. And, lordy, he was in a tux. Her dreams would never be the same.

Nothing could have prepared her for the sight of Austin in a crisp white shirt and coal-black tuxedo. Combed hair, the right shoes and no work gloves, yet he didn’t seem out of place. In fact, he was talking with her boss, Mrs. Alesandra Harper-Cunningham, a woman with several dead husbands and a house full of diamonds to go with her many names. She’d grown up in a manor house in the Virginia countryside and attended every expensive school from kindergarten through graduate degree. She radiated grace and old money.

She also talked with a pseudo-British accent and hated anyone outside of her social circle, so not exactly Austin’s type. Heck, the woman wasn’t Carrie’s type. But Alesandra had taken a chance on Carrie despite her limited experience and lack of a graduate degree. Carrie didn’t understand why she got the chance but would always be grateful for the opportunity.

The fact Alesandra laughed at whatever Austin said would take longer to analyze. The older woman put her hand to her chest then her mouth. Giggled like a flirty schoolgirl.

Then she waved to Carrie. Actually, put up her hand and wiggled her fingers like she was the queen or something.

Carrie blinked but the picture didn’t change. “What the heck?”

Shawn let out a low whistle. “Don’t see that every day.”

“He charmed her.” Carrie watched it but didn’t believe it.

Oh, she knew Austin could win most people over. Her boss was just not a normal person. Alesandra moved in that realm of people blessed with power and prestige thanks to rich parents. Talking about anything other than art and horses didn’t suit her, and those happened to be two of Austin’s least favorite subjects.

“I guess we found someone who thinks he’s funny,” Shawn said.

“That is a terrifying thought.”

As she said the words, Austin looked up and snagged her gaze. He treated her to a half bow then leaned down to listen to whatever her boss whispered in his ear. After a few nods, he kissed the older woman’s hand and started down the steps, leaving her flushed and smiling.

Carrie waited to wake up. This had to be a dream.

“Good evening.” Shawn held out his hand to Austin and they shook.

But Austin’s gaze never left Carrie. “You look stunning. Like, I-can’t-find-the-words stunning.”

“Thank you.” She couldn’t really say much else over the dryness in her mouth, so she went with that.

“I especially like the color.”

If he wanted to think she dressed for him…well, she couldn’t really deny it with a clear conscience, so she let the comment drop. “Where did you find the tux on short notice? You could have worn a suit.”

“If you pay a high enough amount to the rental place, they’ll get it done same day.” Austin leaned in and kissed her cheek before turning back to Shawn. “I see you recovered from your date with Carrie.”

“It was the date with you that’s taking longer to overcome.”

Austin smiled. “Nicely done, Shawn.”

“I was about to say the same to you.” Shawn offered Austin a drink.

His smile faltered as he waved off the glass. “You lost me.”

“Mrs. Harper-Cunningham. The old crone isn’t known for small talk.”

They all glanced over at the woman in question. She now wore her usual puckered frown. With arms crossed over her thick stomach, she shook her head at some unsuspecting board member.

“Now, that’s the Alesandra I know,” Carrie said.

“I wouldn’t talk negatively about her. She loves you,” Austin said.

Carrie snorted.

“She told me how impressed she is with your work ethic and enthusiasm. She’s very satisfied she discovered you, and that’s a direct quote, by the way.” Pride filled Austin’s voice.

The fact he heard the compliments, that Alesandra even said them, stunned Carrie. When she crashed back to earth she had to concentrate to keep from jumping around.

She wasn’t the weepy type, but that almost did it. She put in long hours and did whatever anyone asked so she would be viewed as indispensable. If the museum needed to cut costs, she didn’t want to be considered extra overhead.

But praise? Alesandra didn’t give much of that and to know she said it to Austin made Carrie want to raise her fists and shout hooray. She was desperate for him to get it, see it. For him to want to share moments like these with her.

“She seems to think you were born for this career,” Austin said.

Something in his tone grabbed Carrie’s attention. “How did she know we even knew each other?”

“She asked who I was, demanded really, and I told her.”

“What exactly did you say?”

Austin didn’t hesitate. “I’m your boyfriend.”

Shawn laughed. “She’ll have engagement announcements out within the week.”

“Works for me.” Austin shrugged as Carrie frowned. “What? It does.”

The conversation around them buzzed as the room hummed with activity and music pumped through speakers hidden in plants. Still, Carrie didn’t move. Even her heartbeat slowed as she stood there and stared at Austin.

He sounded so serious, so ready to commit. Despite months apart and all the arguments about work and leaving, his voice didn’t waver and neither did his eye contact. She had no idea where that wealth of determination came from—a father who demanded excellence or maybe from a mother who didn’t bother to stick around through the uncertain times. Either way, Austin stood there now making what appeared to be a vow and it nearly drove her to her knees.

Shawn broke the silence. “Well, hold up your glasses and we’ll toast Carrie’s accomplishment.”

Austin dragged his gaze away from her and smiled at the other man. “Winning over the lady with multiple names?”

“No, this party. Carrie organized it. Did everything.”

“You did?”

The sudden flatness to Austin’s voice tugged at her. She downplayed her hard work until she knew the reason for the change. “It’s part of my job.”

“She’s making it sound easy, but it’s not. She works long hours, negotiates for big exhibits and has set up an artists’ workshop series for young women.” Shawn grabbed three glasses of champagne off the tray offered by the waiter and passed them out. “To Carrie.”

“To Carrie.” Austin held the glass, swirled the liquid around, but didn’t drink it.

“I’m off to mingle with board members.” Shawn waved to someone behind them. “Good to have you here tonight, Austin.”

“Thanks.” He put the glass on the edge of the bar.

They both watched Shawn light up as he talked with a group of men in matching tuxedos. Austin’s gaze stayed too long, as if he was looking but not seeing.

The hope drained right out of her again. For a second there she’d hovered on the edge of something spectacular but Austin’s sudden mood change brought her crashing back down. “You don’t have to pretend.”

Austin finally faced her again. “About what?”

“You couldn’t even toast my job, Austin. I know you hate it.”

Confusion fell over his bright eyes. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

They stood there not talking. People passed and said hello. The music swelled as it reached the chorus. Just when she couldn’t take the blank stare, he opened his mouth. When he closed it again without saying a word she seriously considered walking away.

“Maybe we can talk about this later.” He nodded at the banner introducing the Cassatt exhibit and featuring one of her better known paintings. “I thought you’d show me her work.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am.”

She refused to be derailed, not even by a new chance to show him her world, not when the topic was so important. “Tell me.”

He didn’t pretend confusion. Instead, he leaned one elbow on the bar. The move brought his face even with hers. “I’m not drinking.”

After all that preparation she expected a different answer. “What?”

“No alcohol.”

Something nibbled at the edge of her conscience. She remembered emails with odd comments and her brother’s sharp insistence that everything was fine and she should stay in D.C. The minor accident with the tractor. The memory of the lack of beer at the trailer on the tree lot.

The pieces sat there just out of reach but she couldn’t bring them together. She needed Austin to trust her enough to do it for her. “I don’t get it.”

“I’ve stopped drinking.”

No, that didn’t make sense. With three guys living alone without a woman’s influence the family always had beer in the fridge and a full bar. She couldn’t remember a time when Austin didn’t have alcohol available to him. It was normal to his father who thought the drinking age was a waste of time.

Austin didn’t drink to excess often, but he went out with friends and could throw back a lot of beer at a party, especially if a football game was on. He wasn’t a mean drunk, or really even a drunk at all. For him it was a social event and he got quiet and thoughtful, which is why it never bothered her.

“Since when?” she asked.

He looked at his hands, at the ground, at everything and everyone but her. “A few months.”

The pieces shifted in her mind and landed in a clearer picture. “Six?”

“That’s about right.” He cleared his throat and glanced up. “What’s upstairs?”

“Austin, please. Just say it.”

He pressed a hand to her elbow and steered her to the doorway on the far right side of the room. People came in and out of the exhibit hall, but he’d pulled her out of the main flow of traffic. “I don’t really want to do this now.”

“I think we have to.”

He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth then let it go. “I was drinking too much and stopped.”

“Six months ago.”

“Yes.”

“After I left.”

He hesitated before nodding.

The newly formed picture horrified her. “The accident on your property.”

His mouth dropped open. “How do you know about that? I swore Mitch and Dad and everyone else to secrecy. Even the police stayed out of it since I wasn’t driving a car and hadn’t gone on a public road.”

“And your cousin is a policeman.”

“I took the classes and stopped drinking. I’m not getting special treatment.” He shook his head. “I still don’t understand how it all got back to you. I’m not exactly the first guy in Holloway to get drunk and in trouble. It wasn’t big news or shouldn’t have been.”

“As you pointed out before, we come from a small town. News travels, even the type you want to hide. Especially that type.”

He swore under his breath. “Gotta love that.”

Memories flooded back to her. She’d paced her floor for hours as she waited for Mitch to call her back. The time between finding out about the accident and hearing Austin was uninjured except for a concussion stretched until she’d thought she’d scream.