It's Not Christmas Without You (The Holloway Series) (6 page)

She actually made a face. She quickly hid it, but it was too late. “We haven’t—”

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“You’re awful sure of your appeal.”

“I’m sure of us. Of this.” Before she could pull away, he leaned in and pressed his mouth over hers. His hands settled on her waist as his lips crossed and caressed.

Heat, need, pulse-pounding want. It all rushed up on him. As soon as the kiss started he had to pull back or risk dragging her across the street to her apartment. Six months was a long time. As far as he was concerned, he deserved a damn medal.

But since he was determined to have her understand she meant more to him than a temporary bed partner, he dropped his hands. Unable to fully break the contact, he rested his cheek against hers and felt her smile.

“You’re breaking the hearts of all the women on the lot,” she said.

As if he gave a damn about any other woman.

“The hammering you feel?” Right there, just inches apart, he placed her palm over his heart. “You do that to me.”

He dropped a quick kiss on her lips because he didn’t trust his body for more. “Remember that at date time.”

The next day at the conference Carrie rounded the corner with her head down and mind lost in an article about Interpol’s Stolen Artwork Database and smacked right into something. Papers flew and her ankle turned. Swearing before she could control it, she put her hands out and hit biceps.

When her eyes focused again, she saw an aqua tie. Following it up, she met Shawn’s shocked gaze. “Uh, hi?”

“Are you okay?” Concern showed on every inch of his face right before he bent down to pick up her scattered papers.

In his mid-thirties, he was smart and charming and objectively good-looking for a guy with hair resembling a sponge. But he barely registered on her hot-o-meter. In fact, she wasn’t attracted to him at all and worried Austin’s scheme would backfire by making Shawn think there could be something between them. She didn’t want to hurt Shawn, though the idea of injuring Austin sounded good right about now.

“Carrie, did I do something to you when we hit? Can you talk?”

Where Austin knew she could split and stack wood with no trouble, Shawn acted as if she were made of glass.

His response made her want to poke fun at the situation. “The headache will pass in a month or so.”

All of the color left his face. “I’m so sorry.”

“It was a joke.” One Austin would have gotten but flew right over Shawn’s head.

“What?”

Time for a change in topic. “You didn’t tell me you were signed up for today’s conference.”

“I’m here to see you.”

That got her to let go of him and take a good step back. “Why?”

“Yesterday.”

She let out a long groan but only inside her head. “Yeah, about that.”

“I wasn’t expecting that sort of greeting.”

Probably because he wasn’t a crazy person.
“Not surprising.”

“It was, well, weird.”

Poor guy sounded traumatized from Austin’s bizarre behavior. She sure was. “Austin has a strange sense of humor.”

“Was his display supposed to be funny?”

“Good question. I think he was trying to prove a point.”

“You’re dating him.”

This was where the definitions got tricky. Present tense. Past tense. She could be clearer if there was a tense that stood for
sometimes
.

She shifted from one foot to the other as she weighed her words. “We’ve gone out over the years. He still lives in West Virginia.”

Shawn lowered his voice as a group of conference attendees, all with shiny name badges, walked down the other side of the hall. “But he’s in D.C. now.”

“Confusing, isn’t it?” From the way Shawn’s eyebrows snapped together she could tell it was. “Look, forget about tonight.”

“We should go to dinner.”

She was going to strangle Austin. Might even use her favorite scarf to do it. “You’re a very nice man, but—”

“Not that. I mean all of us.”

“Excuse me?”

“Your boyfriend—”

“Ex.”

“—wants you to go. He clearly wants to make a point.” Shawn shrugged. “My suggestion is that we play this out to see what he really has in mind.”

Well, well, well. Look at Shawn being all conniving.
She liked it. “You’d be willing to go through heaven knows what for me?”

Shawn laughed. “You think I’d miss this?”

“It is kind of frightening to think what Austin has brewing.” She could only imagine what went on in that messed-up head of his.

“And if we’re wrong and his intentions are good—”

“Doubtful.”

“We can have a nice dinner.” When she started to say something, Shawn stopped her. “As friends only.”

She held out her hand. “You have a deal.”

Shawn smiled. “And I think we should get there a half hour early. See if walking in after the supposed date has started knocks your man off stride.”

Carrie frowned at how right the “your man” description felt. Despite all the craziness and cluelessness, with every word Austin wormed his way deeper into her heart. She should be furious with his interference in her life, but when she tried to dredge up some fury and write him off as a stalker type, she couldn’t. She knew he’d never hurt her and would leave if she insisted. She just couldn’t find the words or the will to order him gone.

“That could be interesting.” And by that she meant nuts.

“I’m counting on this being the most entertaining date of my life.”

She feared it would be.

Austin buttoned his shirt over a clean gray tee. He kept shifting the small mirror on the office wall to get a good look at his teeth. Hard to impress a woman with food in your teeth.

Spence let the door close with a bang when he came in. “What kind of idiot sends his girlfriend on a date with another guy?”

“Your quick-thinking brother, and this isn’t really a date. I’m going to be there.”

“I hope this kind of stupid isn’t in the genes.”

Since he forgot a comb, Austin used his fingers. It wasn’t as if Carrie expected him to show up in a tux. “This is the perfect solution.”

“Are you sure because it sounds pretty damn dumb.”

“She’s not interested in this other guy.” She’d barely looked at Shawn in the lot yesterday. Austin knew that was because she was too busy glaring at him, but that fact didn’t support his argument, so Austin kept it quiet.

“Yet.”

The word hung out there just long enough to make Austin twitchy. “Shawn is not her type.”

“This is the same guy who works with her and shares her interest in the art world, are we talking about that guy?”

Austin took a second to analyze those facts then discarded them because they didn’t fit in with his plan. “She needs something else. We’ll both be sitting there and she can compare. Seeing us both she’ll realize whatever else she wants to change about her life, she wants to keep me.”

Spence sat on the edge of the desk. He wore his usual big brother I-know-better expression. “Have you taken a good look at her lately? The suits and the job. She fits here.”

“For now.”

Spence whispered something that sounded suspiciously like “dumb bastard” under his breath. “Does she know that all of this so-called romancing you’re doing is aimed at bringing her back to Holloway rather than accepting her job and coming up with a compromise?”

Compromise.
Carrie used that word a lot before she left home. She hadn’t said it since. He got that she liked her job, but he wanted her to need him more.

“I have to go or I’ll be late.”

“Hold on a second.” Spence hesitated as if turning the situation over in his mind. “You’ll be chaperoning this date and I’ll be working the lot alone?”

Austin waited for the full truth to hit his brother. “Yes.”

“On the Friday night, two weeks before Christmas. The busiest time for people to buy trees.” The longer he talked, the slower Spence’s pace got until a beat of silence separated each word.

“I’m still going with yes.”

Spence stood up, hands on his hips and ready for battle. “Will you be saying yes when I throw you in traffic?”

Knowing the argument was coming, Austin had worked out a contingency plan. Not a great one, but a workable one. “The security guys can help you for a few hours until I get back.”

“Hours? As in more than one?”

“I won’t be long.”

Spence pointed out the window at the guard circling the lot and eyeing up the potential customers as if they were terrorists waiting to attack. “That one has a neck the size of a utility pole.”

Which was exactly why Austin hired him. “Then he should be able to lift trees onto cars without getting a hernia.”

“You’re paying them to watch the lot and make sure our inventory isn’t stolen while we sleep. Another bill you’re fronting, by the way.” When Austin stepped toward the door, Spence shifted and blocked any attempt at a speedy exit. “Did you rob a bank and not tell me?”

Austin wasn’t touching that question. He’d cleaned out a hefty portion of his savings. Between the engagement ring and the D.C. trip, it was a good thing he didn’t have to put a down payment on a house anytime soon. “Carrie is worth it.”

“I’m not arguing with that.”

He’d tried joking and explaining and failed. This time Austin went with the simple bottom line. “I need to do this.”

“What you need is meds.”

“Probably true but I’ll settle for convincing her to come home with me.”

Spence exhaled in a sound weighed down by the burden of being the older brother. “I’m betting it won’t be that easy.”

“Nothing ever is for us.”

“You know she left more than twenty minutes ago, right?”

“
What
?”

“Figured you’d missed that.” Spence opened the door. “Try not to be arrested.”

Austin was still stunned by Carrie getting the drop on him and leaving early. “I can’t promise that.”

They made it to the end of the salad course before Austin wandered in. He walked over, waved off most of the wait staff and did not stop until he hit the side of their table.

Austin shot Shawn one of those hard-to-read smiles that could go either way—furious or happy. “Did we change the time and no one told me?”

To his credit, Shawn shrugged off a threat, implied or otherwise. “Carrie and I decided to start without you.”

“Fair enough.” Austin’s shoulders visibly relaxed. “How are we doing?”

Since this likely meant the end of the rational part of the evening, Carrie dragged the napkin off her lap and folded it on the edge of the table. “Before or after this minute?”

“Funny.”

“Shouldn’t you be working?”

“Spence can handle it, and I promised I’d join you, so here I am.” Austin turned around and in five seconds sweet-talked the table next to them out of their extra chair. Dumping it in the small space next to her, he sat down and scanned the table. “What is everyone eating?”

“I ordered the halibut,” Shawn said, sounding calm despite the arrival of Hurricane Austin.

Shawn’s acting skills impressed Carrie. Austin had been there only for a few minutes and she had to fight off the urge to roll her eyes about a hundred times already. She had no idea how far Austin intended to go with this, but she knew she’d only be able to take so much.

“Fish?” Austin made a face. “I don’t have to look at the menu and can tell you Carrie ordered something with four legs.”

Not that her meat-and-potato ways were a big secret. “Yes, but I’m hoping they remove those before they put the meat on the plate and serve dinner.”

“You don’t like fish? I would have thought you were a fisherman.” Shawn leaned back in his chair, clearly enjoying the byplay.

“Why?” Austin asked.

“Because you’re from West Virginia. I assumed you fish and hunt.” Shawn’s gaze went to her. “Is that offensive?”

Austin took a sip of her water before waving the waiter over. “Being from West Virginia?”

“My comment placing you as an outdoors type.”

“Outdoors type?” Austin let out with a
hmpf
. “Been called a lot of things before but never that.”

“Austin likes to pretend he’s a country hick, but he’s actually smart.” She looked him up and down and frowned as she did, just to let him know her patience with his acting was waning. “Well, usually. And a college graduate with a whole bunch of certifications for his work.”

Austin nodded. “Took the refrigerator off the porch long ago.”

“Not married to your sister?” Shawn’s burst of laughter died out when no one joined him.

“Oh no, Shawn. I can make fun of West Virginia.” Austin used her water glass to point but his voice stayed light. “You can’t. You have to be from there to get away with the hick jokes.”

Shawn cleared his throat. “Right. Sorry.”

The waiter appeared at the table with another place setting. “Are you joining the table, sir?”

“Actually, there were supposed to be three chairs from the start,” Austin said.

“My mistake,” Carrie mumbled so only he could hear.

“Well played.” He winked at her before turning back to the waiter. “Yes. I’d like my own water and whatever she’s having.”

The waiter’s fake smile fumbled. “Your meal may take a bit longer than theirs.”

“That’s okay. I don’t plan on eating it anyway.”

The waiter’s eyes narrowed. “Sir?”

“It’s fine.” Carrie let the poor man go before Austin drove him over the edge then she turned to the cause of most of the evening’s difficulties. “I’d remind you this is a date.”

Austin reached into the bread basket and rummaged around, ignoring the bran roll and heading right for the white-flour option. “I know. I set you two crazy kids up. With a third, of course.”

“Dates usually mean two people,” she said, not caring at all about the date. Austin might have a point to make, but so did she.

“Not in West Virginia,” Austin said.

Shawn just looked confused. Had the whole eyebrows-pulled-together thing going on. “Pardon?”

This time she did roll her eyes. “The stereotypes about our home state are bad enough without you adding to them.”

“Like the whole people living on farms and men swinging from trees?” Austin slathered butter on his roll and popped a strip into his mouth.

She wondered what else to try since eye rolling clearly wasn’t working. “Are you done?”

“Do you climb, Austin?” Shawn asked.

“Climb what?”

Shawn’s face went blank. “I don’t—”

Just when she thought the evening couldn’t get stranger. “I think Shawn means hike.”

“Ah. I thought you meant trees.” After spreading most of the remaining butter on his last piece of roll, Austin put it on the small plate in front of him.

“You really climb trees?”

“It’s my job.”

Shawn threw back his head and laughed. People at the table next to them stared. When no one joined in this time either, he immediately sobered. “Wait, you’re not kidding?”

“Have the shoes with the spikes in them to prove it.”

Austin made the job sound simple. She knew differently. He risked his life because he thrived outdoors and had a love of nature in his blood. Another love passed on from his father. She’d never been anything but proud of Austin’s work and his dedication to it. He didn’t let fear or weather or anything else stand in the way of doing a job. She envied his laser-like focus.

“Austin is an arborist. He checks the health and placement of trees. He often works with the utility company, sometimes with government entities and private landowners.”

“Interesting.” Shawn shifted in his seat and leaned in with that just-between-men look. “I do some high adventure activities myself.”

Carrie debated leaving the men alone to fight this out. They didn’t need her. Not with all the testosterone pumping around them.

“At the museum?” Austin asked, managing to sound serious as he did.

“On the weekends. Kayaking and hiking, that sort of thing.”

One of Austin’s eyebrows lifted. “I’m impressed.”

“There’s a group of us that goes out with a guide.”

The brow dropped. “Not as impressed now.”

“We go through training.”

“That sounds safe.”

Between the sarcasm and clanking of glasses, she had just about enough. “Austin.”

He didn’t ask “what did I do” but it was there in his expression. “What? Safe is a good thing.”

If Shawn was offended by the macho display or circular conversation, he didn’t show it. He stayed engaged. “You prefer things a bit more risky, I take it.”

“Some things. Other things I want consistent and sure.” Austin’s voice dipped low and husky as he talked.

The tone licked at her. She swallowed a few times, trying to break the sudden clog in her throat. “Are we still talking about climbing?”

The corner of his mouth kicked up. “No.”

“Maybe I should leave.” Shawn mumbled his comment but was already standing up.

“Sit.” She pointed at the chair and didn’t stop until Shawn dropped back down. Then she turned to Austin. “Why did you really set this up? Other than the thing about me sitting with both of you and coming to some revelation.”

“Thought I could help break the ice.” Austin nodded in Shawn’s general direction. “Help a guy out.”

“I do really need to use the restroom,” Shawn said.

Austin made a tsk-tsking sound. “Let the man get up, Carrie.”

She didn’t know if Shawn was being honest or just matchmaking, and she didn’t have the energy to figure it out. “Fine.”

Austin waited until Shawn was out of hearing range to talk. “The rolls are pretty good.”

When he reached for another one, she pushed his arm against the table and held it there. “This isn’t a date.”

“Maybe you’re not trying hard enough.”

“You’re not getting it. I’m not seeing anyone else because I don’t want to, not because I haven’t had the opportunity.”

He flipped his wrist and slipped his fingers through hers. “That should tell you something.”

The warmth of his hand against hers made her sigh. “It’s my choice.”

“And?” He rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand.

Her nerves jumped around with each sweep of his finger. “Whatever point you’re trying to make, whatever you think this scene will prove, I don’t think it’s working. Shawn and I are friends and will only ever be friends.”

Austin lifted their joint hands to his lips. His words vibrated against her fingers as he spoke. “Because you’re not interested.”

She tried to drag air into her lungs and nothing happened. It was as if she couldn’t catch her breath. “Right.”

He traced the back of her hands with his lips. “You’re not interested in anyone right now.”

She was interested in the man touching her to the point she couldn’t swallow. “Exactly.”

“Except me.”

“We broke up.” The usual heat she put behind the words just wouldn’t come.

“You left for what I’m hoping was a temporary period of time. As far as I’m concerned, we’re still dating.”

“You never give up, do you?”

“Not when it comes to you.” He glanced across the room. “Shawn is coming back.”

Austin placed a soft kiss against the back of her hand then down on her wrist. When he let go and sat back, it took all her control not to grab for him.

“Austin, I—”

“If you want a real date when this is over, text me,” he said.

The possibilities floated through her mind. Kissing him, touching him, making love with him. Reality closed in on her from every angle. She wanted this. Wanted all the closeness and laughter, all the warmth and security he brought into her life.

Six months and her feelings for him hadn’t changed one bit. She hadn’t moved even an inch in a new direction. Was not one step closer to getting over him.

She shook her head more at the direction of her thoughts than at Austin. “This is so dangerous.”

“Doing nothing is dangerous because it means standing still. This is right. We’re right. We always have been and no job or long drive between us on the highway is going to change that.” He stood up and nodded as their third date partner returned. “Shawn, welcome back.”

His gaze traveled between Carrie and Austin and back again. “What’s going on?”

“I’m leaving,” Austin said.

The words ricocheted through her, wounding every space they hit. “You are?”

He stared at her with an intensity that shook her. “Call me if you need me.”