Jessie (34 page)
“Did I ask the wrong question?” Bri tried this time. Jessie had stopped as though she had something to say but then was quiet.
“No, but I don't have an answer. I had things somewhat planned out in my mind. I thought I knew what my life would look like. Having Seth here changes it all.”
“And what exactly do you object to, Jessie? Is it just because he left you, or is some of it who he is now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, he's not the same man, is he? Can you love this man?”
“That's just the problem, Bri. I think I could love him so easily. I'm still angry at him at times, but I didn't expect to be this drawn.”
“Tell me why that's such a bad thing. Is it because of his faith in God?”
“No,” Jessie said with a shrug. “That doesn't bother me.”
“What do you have against God, Jessie?” Bri asked in a completely nonthreatening voice. “I don't think I've ever asked you.”
“I just don't think He exists.”
“How did all of this and all of us come into being?”
“Not everything can be explained, Bri. Some things just are.”
“But you have such respect for Rylan, and you know he believes very strongly in God. Why is he the man he is?”
“He was just raised well, the way I'm trying to do with my girls.”
“But what about Seth? What changed him?”
Jessie was at a loss there. He was something of a mystery to her. Since he'd come back, he'd displayed tendencies of patience and kindness she didn't think were possible. He had been patient and kind in the past, but only to a point. This time he was taking everything she threw at him without so much as a hint of retaliation or irritation.
“You didn't know me before, Jessie,” Bri said quietly when the silence lengthened. “If you want to hear my whole story, I'll tell you. I'm living proof that God can completely change a person. You and I would not have a friendship if it weren't for God's intervention in my life.”
This was not the first time Bri had hinted at this topic. In the past Jessie told herself that Bri had never done a thing wrong in her life, but that was foolish. Bri had lived most of her life in Denver, and Jessie knew nothing about that time.
“I would like to hear it sometime, Bri.”
“Certainly, Jessie,” Bri agreed, knowing that now was not the time.
“Just let me know.”
The women didn't stay out much longer, but when Bri left Jessie at the back door of the store, Jessie stood outside on her own for a few minutes. It had just occurred to her that good people cared for her. Jeb had checked with her on Friday. Now Bri had made a specific visit to check on her.
It also did not escape her notice that these two folks believed in God. Jessie shook her head a little. Was it possible to be wrong after all these years? Had her father been wrong? What about her mother? Jessie didn't know what that woman believed. She was not sure if Maryann Wheeler had ever said.
Jessie knew if she kept this up she would have a headache, and that was the last thing she needed. She was living with a man who was her husband in name only, and she had two girls whose lively minds were a lot of work. Jessie deliberately put all other thoughts aside and went indoors to her family.
“Was it any problem to come this morning?” Rylan asked Seth when he let him into the house early Tuesday morning.
“No. I told Jessie last night that I wouldn't be around until the store opened. If Bri hadn't come on Sunday to see her, she might not have understood, but I think she just sees this as one friend checking on another.” Seth's mouth quirked a little before he added, “When she finds out I want to do this every week, she might not understand, but for the moment it's fine.”
“Why wouldn't she understand?” Rylan asked as the men got comfortable in the living room.
“Jessie doesn't ask for a lot of help. For extra hands in the store, yes, but not for personal things. I think the only reason she ever has input is because others check in with her.”
This made complete sense to Rylan. Bri had been checking on Jessie since their friendship began, but Seth was right, Jessie didn't appear to need anyone. He was thankful that this was not the case with Seth. That man was humble and honest about what he didn't know.
The two prayed together and then talked about the sermon. Seth stayed for more than an hour, but managed to be on time when the store opened. He started work thinking about the letter he needed to write to his brother. It was an amazing thing to be able to assure Eliot that someone in Token Creek was looking out for him and that the pastor he remembered was still a blameless man of God.
“Hold still,” Jessie said to Clancy on the first day of school. That little girl was getting her hair brushed and could barely contain herself.
“When do we eat?” Clancy asked Hannah. “I can't remember.”
“At noon.”
“Where is our dinner tin?”
“You'll have it,” Jessie said patiently. “Hold still, please.”
“Seth,” Hannah went to the man watching all of this in silence and asked, “are you going to walk with us?”
“I would like that,” he said. “Does your mother usually take you?”
“Just on the first day. She puts a sign on the door.”
Seth's eyes swung to Jessie, who only glanced at him and kept brushing. He had never known her to do this, and his expression said as much.
“It happens once in a while,” she said, her tone not inviting further comment, but Seth found himself smiling. “You think you know so much, Seth Redding, but you've been gone a long time,” Jessie added.
“True,” he agreed, his tone affable. “Very true.”
Jessie fought the smile that threatened her own mouth and finished Clancy's hair. Had the girls not been distracted by their thoughts of school, they would have wanted to know exactly what was going on, but this time the adults got away with it.
“All right, girls, do you have everything?” Jessie asked, her eyes scanning them for every detail.
“Do I have to walk home with Hannah?” Clancy asked.
“Yes. Stay with her all the way back to the store.”
“What if Clara wants to walk with me?”
“As long as Hannah is with you, that's fine.”
“But sometimes Hannah walks with Vera, and Clara is littler like me.”
“Clancy,” Seth spoke up. “You're worrying about a lot of things, and the day hasn't even started. Plan to obey your mother. After you've walked with Hannah a few days, you can ask questions about changes you want to make.”
“I think about things,” she said, her voice not demanding and expectant as it often was.
“Yes, you do, and most of the time that's good, but sometimes you worry, and that's not good.”
“Will you pray for us today, Seth?” Hannah came close to ask.
“Yes, I will,” he said, smoothing the hair away from her face. “You look very pretty, Hannah.”
“Do I look pretty?” Clancy asked, voice back in full form.
“Yes, you do. You both look ready to start school.”
“And read,” Clancy said, her frown in place.
Neither parent responded to this, but both smiled. Moments later they started toward the schoolhouse.
“Are you all right?” Seth asked when they were far enough away from the schoolhouse not to be heard.
“Why do you ask?”
“You just look a little sad.”
Jessie didn't say anything. She wasn't used to having an adult around who could read each nuance. She was sad, but she didn't know why. The girls were excited, and she would not lack things to do until they arrived home.
On Seth's part, he let it go. She didn't answer him, which could mean any number of things. He didn't think she was upset with him, but on the chance that his question felt intrusive, he kept his peace.
“Why did you ask that?” Jessie suddenly asked again.
“You just looked a little pensive.”
Jessie didn't stop walking, but she had slowed quite a bit. Seth matched his longer steps to her shorter ones and waited, shooting the occasional glance in her direction.
“I don't know why,” Jessie said, and Seth knew she meant it. “It just feels odd, as if part of me is missing.”
“The store will certainly be different,” Seth commented, having just realized how much this would affect him. He wished he had the right words for Jessie, but he didn't.
“I'm always ready to see them at three o'clock,” she added.
“Is that when they come?”
“About that time, yes.”
The store came into view just then, and Seth asked a question that had been on his mind since he returned.
“What happened to your dream to build a house?”
Jessie laughed before saying, “Who has time?”
“Is that all that's stopping you?”
“Isn't that enough?”
They reached the store and the conversation was dropped, but enough had been said. A solid plan was forming in Seth's mind.
“W
HAT IF HE DOESN'T
like what we're fixing?” Heather said to Becky on Monday afternoon.
“He'll like it,” Becky said in her unflappable way.
“How do you know?”
“He's a bachelor. He'll like anything.”
At just about any other time Heather would have laughed, but at this moment it was lost on her. She went to work on the dining room table, hours too early, wanting it to be just right. She had taken another walk with Nate on Friday evening and then seen him the day before at church. Jeanette had asked him to supper tonight, and Heather suddenly found herself all nerves. At some point she got ahold of herself and made herself calm down, but it didn't last long. Nate Kaderly was coming to supper, and Heather didn't know the last time she'd been so excited.
“I walked with Hannah” were the first words from Clancy's mouth to her mother.
“I'm glad. How was your day?”
Seth hung back and listened to the girls talk to their mother. He was fairly certain he was seeing their daily routine. Jessie had come up front to work at about quarter to three. A woman had come in looking for something, and Jessie only directed her to the aisle, holding her place at the front. When the girls came through the front door, she was right there. Everyone hugged, and much as Seth would have enjoyed being part of it, he enjoyed watching as well.
