Journey of the Heart (28 page)

Gabe blushed and dropping the saddle blanket over a stall door, leaned back against it. “I wouldn’t say that, Miss Cait. Your Da and Finn, why they have something between them that few men achieve with a horse.”

“I’d say it is the same with you and Sky, though I hate to admit it, because it still makes me a little bit jealous,” she said with an embarrassed smile.

“Wal, I don’t know about that,” drawled Gabe, “but I’ve always had a way with horses…. Uh, I was glad to see you at the corral again, Miss Cait,” Gabe continued, his face getting red under his tan. “I was afraid…well, I should never have kissed you the other day. I hope we can both pretend that it never happened?”

So that’s what he wanted, Cait realized. Those kisses, which had meant so much to her—never mind that they shouldn’t have, they did—of course meant nothing to him. He’s probably kissed lots of women behind barns!

“There is no need to worry, Mr. Hart,” she told him calmly. “It was a momentary foolishness on both our parts.” She was amazed she was able to sound so cool. If he wanted to pretend it never happened, then he would hardly want it to happen again, would he?

“I’m glad to hear that, Miss Cait.”

He sounded so relieved, Cait thought, as she walked back up to the house. As I should be. But I am only terribly disappointed.

* * * *

It had worried Gabe when Caitlin seemed to be avoiding him. He’d been foolish to lose control like that and he’d been hoping for an opportunity to apologize. He should be happy, now that it seemed they could go back to being friends. They were both in agreement that those few moments were an isolated incident and that should have set him at ease.

Instead, he kept thinking of the promise of passion in her kisses. But what had he expected? That she’d say, “Oh, Mr. Hart, please kiss me again.” Or even more fantastical, “Mr. Hart, I think I am falling in love with you.”

Miss Burke, a refined and educated young lady, fall in love with him? Now that was some ridiculous fancy. But those kisses had set something off in him, and by the end of the week, he realized that what he wanted her to say to him was exactly what he wanted to say to her: “Miss Cait, I think I am falling in love with you.” Which made him a damn fool.

He hadn’t loved a woman since Caroline. She’d hurt him terribly by not even trying to understand him and his actions. Since then, he’d not been any one place long enough to meet any respectable women. He visited whores occasionally. But usually he just stayed away, for some of them reminded him too much of his stepmother, trying to get something for themselves and not caring about him. Most of them, he just felt sorry for, because he was using them, too. And feeling sorry for the woman lying under you was a sure way to interfere with your enjoyment of them.

He’d stolen some kisses from Caroline. But he had felt like a thief, for she was a doctor’s daughter and been sheltered from men. When his kisses got too hot, she would pull away and remind him that they weren’t even officially engaged. And whores didn’t kiss, not that he’d been wanting much to kiss them either.

But with Caitlin Burke…well, something had come together for him in those kisses. From the first, he’d found her attractive, but he’d also gradually come to like and respect her. When their lips joined, all the feelings in him seemed to join too.

He was very self-conscious that next week when she came to sit and watch him with the horses, though he tried not to show it. It was hard to be across the table from her at meals and he found himself making excuses and leaving early to get back to work. He was hoping that no one had noticed, but Sadie knew him too well, and one night after supper, followed him out to the barn.

“You are as jumpy as grease on a hot griddle, Gabe,” she said as she watched him soaping the reins of one of the bridles. “Is it Mackie that’s making you nervous?”

“Mackie doesn’t make me nervous, Sadie. Whichever way this goes, a good man is dead and no way to convict him for it, so he just makes me angry.”

“Then if it isn’t Mackie…?”

“I suppose you won’t let me alone till I tell you,” said Gabe, looking over at her with a resigned smile.

“We know each other too well, Gabe, even though we’ve been separated all this time. I can tell when something is bothering you. Is it Caitlin Burke?” she asked shrewdly.

“I
have
come to love her,” Gabe said ruefully.

“You do seem to like schoolteachers, Gabe,” Sadie teased.

“She’s real different from you, Sadie.”

“Well, I would hope so, Gabe! A man doesn’t want to be marrying his sister! I would guess she’s different from Caroline too, Gabe,” she added softly.

“I don’t know, Sadie, she’s had a very sheltered life. And she knows very little about me.”

“I think you are underestimating her, Gabe.”

Gabe’s eyes opened wide with surprise.

“Miss Burke has made a very clear choice, hasn’t she? She may have gone to school back east, but her heart is clearly in New Mexico, Gabe. She could have just delayed her wedding, but instead she broke off the engagement. She let Mr. Beecham go. I didn’t get to see too much of him, but from what I did see, I’d say she was smart to give him up.”

“Smart to give up a rich, handsome lawyer?”

“He’s too civilized for her, Gabe, and good for her that she knows it. She belongs here. And maybe you two belong together,” she added lightly.

“I don’t think so, Sadie. She’s already told me it didn’t mean anything,” Gabe said without thinking.

“
What
didn’t mean anything?”

Gabe’s face grew red. “Wal, she burned her wrist and was hurting in other ways and there were a few kisses, that’s all. They meant nothing to her.”

“And what about you?”

“They meant a lot to me, Sadie, but what could I do but apologize?”

“Oh, Gabe!” exclaimed Sadie in mock despair. “If you apologized for them, then she thinks you didn’t mean anything by them, so of course she’d have to say that.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“Maybe so, Gabe. But I’m also a woman and I know how women think. Were the kisses…um…friendly kisses? Or hot kisses?” she asked with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Sarah Ellen Hart, what do you know about hot kisses?” teased Gabe.

“Too little for my liking,” Sadie admitted, “though there was one cowboy at a dance back in Texas who stole a few I was very happy to give away.”

Gabe was quiet for a minute and then said in a barely audible voice: “I guess those kisses burned my lips enough to leave a scar.”

“Then you can’t give up,” Sadie declared.

“I don’t know, Sadie, I promised her it wouldn’t happen again.”

“And I’m sure you can find a way to convince her to let you out of that promise, Gabe.”

“I guess I could try, Sadie.”

“Do try, Gabe. You deserve to be happy.”

Mackie’s party was to begin at noon and continue through the afternoon and Elizabeth had been busy all morning with the last-minute preparations. She had made a half-dozen black cakes and was also bringing several jars of fresh buttermilk.

“Keep the wrapping around the jars, Cait,” she told her daughter as they packed the wagon. “It will help keep them cool.”

“Yes, Ma. But I don’t know why we’re being such good neighbors to Mr. Mackie,” she protested.

“It is for Mrs. Mackie, Cait. And your Da. If there is a possibility of living in peace with the man, we must take it.”

Elizabeth climbed up on the wagon and taking the reins, waited for Caitlin and Sadie to join her. Michael and Gabe would be riding alongside.

“Sure and aren’t we lucky to be escortin’ three beautiful women to this party, Gabe?” said Michael as they started off.

“We wouldn’t be looking half so pretty without these ribbons you gave us, Gabe,” said Elizabeth.

Gabe only nodded and smiled.

“Why, Da, I think we are lucky to have two such handsome escorts,” said Cait. She felt it was quite a bold thing to say, but the two men did look so handsome in their own ways. Her father had on his good black coat and his string tie, which was decorated with a chunk of turquoise set in silver that Antonio had given him. She stole a quick glance over at Gabe. He had on a white linen shirt and his gray wool pants.

His black boots were polished well enough to have made a cavalry officer proud.

By the time they reached the Mackie ranch, most of their neighbors and townsfolk had arrived. Nelson Mackie, who was standing with the sheriff and the banker, hurried over when he saw them. “Mrs. Burke, Miss Burke. And this must be Gabe’s sister?”

“Miss Sarah Ellen Hart,” Gabe said stiffly.

“I am so pleased that you’ve come,” continued Mackie. His pleasure seemed genuine enough, thought Elizabeth. “Come, let me bring you over to my wife.”

“I’ve brought some cake and fresh buttermilk,” said Elizabeth, gesturing to the back of the wagon.

“Why, that was very neighborly of you, Mrs. Burke. I’ll get someone to take care of that for you,” he said, waving to a group of his men. “Chavez, come here and help Mrs. Burke.”

Elizabeth shivered as Juan Chavez walked over to them. At least she had a reason for her reaction this time, she thought, since Chavez was most likely the man who had cold-bloodedly murdered Eduardo. He was dressed Mexican-style, as usual, in black pants and a green velvet shirt. He gave Elizabeth a half bow and said politely: “How can I help you, Señora Burke?”

“I think Caitlin and I can handle the cakes, Mr. Chavez, but there are three jars of buttermilk in the back of the wagon. If you could take those to the picnic tables?”

“With pleasure,
señora
.”

Elizabeth and Caitlin took the cakes, which were wrapped in damp cheesecloth and started off.

“I’d better help you with the buttermilk, Señor Chavez,” said Sadie. “If you can handle two jars, I’ll carry the third.”

“
Muchas gracias,
Señorita Hart,” said Chavez, smiling down at her. His green shirt made his eyes look even greener, thought Sadie as she took the jar from him. My, but he was a handsome man.

They followed Elizabeth and Cait to the tables in silence but just before he left her with the other women, Chavez leaned down and said: “There will be dancing later,
señorita
. Will you save a dance or two for me?”

Of course, she should have said no. But his voice was so quiet, so persuasive, that she gave a quick smile and nod without thinking. Now that was foolish, Sarah Ellen Hart, she told herself. But he is good at persuading, she thought, with a wry smile on her lips. No wonder he could talk so many people off their land.

* * * *

Mackie had set up four large trestle tables to hold the food and drinks and after an hour or so of visiting with his neighbors, he had the cook ring a bell to summon people to eat. There were chairs and benches scattered around the yard and after people had filled their plates they sought out friends and acquaintances to share the meal with.

Elizabeth was friendly with Mrs. Whitefield, the minister’s wife and she invited the Whitefields to join them in the shade of an old cottonwood tree.

“I was glad to see you here, Burke,” said the reverend. “I was very sorry to hear about Eduardo. I wouldn’t want to accuse anyone without evidence,” he added, “but I hope this party is a sign that Mackie has given up on trying to push anyone else out.”

“And so am I, Reverend,” said Michael.

“Cait, I am so pleased to see
you
here,” said Mrs. Whitefield. “Your ma has been telling me you have decided to stay in New Mexico.”

Cait blushed as she looked up from her plate. “Yes, Mrs. Whitefield. I was sorry to hurt Henry, but I am glad not to be leaving home.”

“I am sure that all of the young men are happy about your decision, too,” the reverend’s wife said with a smile. “Isn’t that true, Mr. Hart?”

“Why, uh, yes, ma’am,” stammered Gabe, his own face coloring slightly.

“Miss Sarah Ellen, how are you enjoying your visit to the New Mexico Territory?” asked the reverend.

“I confess that I am still a Texan at heart but I do love the mountains and the mesas,” Sadie replied.

“And it has been wonderful seeing Gabe after all these years.”

“I understand you are a teacher back in Texas,” said Mrs. Whitefield.

“Yes, ma’am, for almost ten years.”

“Are you still hoping to teach, Cait?” she asked, turning to Cait.

“I haven’t had much time to think about it,” replied Cait. She was silent for a moment and then added, “But yes, I think if things are settling down, then I’ll be looking around for a position.”

“I heard the reservation school will be needing a teacher come January,” said the reverend.

Cait’s eyes widened. “I would be very interested in keeping that little school going. I don’t believe in sending Indian children away to boarding schools,” she added passionately. “Antonio and Serena have told us that the children they know come home having lost their own language and feeling they belong nowhere.”

“I could speak to the agent if you wish, Cait,” offered the reverend.

“Oh, I do!” Her pain and confusion about breaking her engagement had distracted her from her other loss. The town and county schools both had teachers who intended to stay, so she had put her desire to teach out of her mind. To have the opportunity to use her training with Navajo children was wonderful and she breathed a silent prayer that the valley remain peaceful.

“There goes Ramon with his mandolin and Bob with the fiddle,” said Mrs. Whitefield. “I declare, after all this food, I am ready to dance, Peter,” she said to her husband, “Now, Mr. Hart, don’t be shy. You take Miss Cait out there and we’ll find a partner for your sister. Thank goodness they started with a waltz,” she continued, giving her husband her arm. “Anything else on a full stomach would have been most uncomfortable!”

Cait didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad as Gabe led her over to the space cleared for dancing.

There was nothing she wanted so much as to be held in Gabe’s arms, but what was the point of torturing herself with feelings that were not returned? Once he led her out, however, she just let herself be caught up in sensation. As he slipped his arm around her waist, she quite naturally stepped closer and as he took her hand, without thinking she opened her fingers and he gently laced his fingers with hers.