Journey of the Heart (32 page)

Gabe let the blanket go and leaning forward a little, gently stroked the side of Sky’s neck. The shivering didn’t stop and Gabe became conscious of the great gift this horse was giving him. Night Sky had given over his heart and his spirit into Gabe’s hands. He could feel the horse’s fear, but he could also feel the horse’s love, for it felt like love to him. His own love for Sky was being given back fourfold. “It may kill me,” Sky was saying, “but it is you who asks it, so I will stand.”

If Sky didn’t throw him, Gabe had originally intended to ride him at a walk around the corral. He changed his mind as soon as he felt the trembling begin. He would sit there as long as he and the horse could bear it. That was enough for this first time.

Gradually, the uncontrollable shivering stopped. Gabe sat for one more minute, murmuring nonsense syllables and stroking Sky’s neck and then he slid off. Sky turned and as Gabe approached his head, buried his muzzle in Gabe’s shirt, breathing as hard as if he’d been running.

“You are everything I thought you were,” Gabe whispered. It took him a minute to realize that both he and the horse were soaking wet. “Look at us, Sky, you’d think we’d just run two miles,” he said, laughing shakily, “instead of just standing around for two minutes!”

* * * *

Caitlin didn’t know what woke her. Maybe it was Gabe’s whistle, maybe Sky’s welcoming whicker, but she lay there for a minute wondering why it was still dark if Gabe was out with the horses. Then gradually it came to her: Gabe had chosen very early morning to ride Sky for the first time.

At first she was angry. She should be there watching because he was her horse. Then as she slipped her feet into her sheepskin moccasins and pulled a shawl around her shoulders, she calmed down. Everyone would have wanted to watch and a crowd may well spook the horse.

Her room was in the front of the house and her window gave her a clear view of the corral. She very quietly pushed it open and watched as Gabe led Sky out. She held her breath as he tightened the girth, for she knew Sky had never felt the full constraint of a cinch yet.

She smiled as she watched Gabe lean his weight on the horse’s back. It was going to happen; he was going to ride Sky, she realized, and she held her breath as he led the horse over to the mounting block.

When Gabe let himself down and Sky’s head went down, she closed her eyes and felt the bitter taste of despair in her mouth. He’d throw Gabe like he had thrown her, and her father would have no choice but to put him down. But there was no frightened squealing, no thud as Gabe hit the ground, and she opened her eyes again. Sky was standing there and even from her window she could tell he was shaking with fear. But Gabe sat quietly, caressing Sky’s neck. From the way his legs hung down and the relaxed way he sat, she could tell he had given himself over to the horse, as though he were saying: “I’m yours, do whatever you want. Just know that I won’t hurt you and I won’t ask for anything you can’t give.”

Gabe’s hair was glinting silver in the moonlight and Cait thought she had never seen anything as beautiful as horse and rider become one. It was a powerful surrender, for both were strong creatures. Either one was capable of inflicting harm on the other, but Gabe had given up all claim to domination and Sky all opportunities for explosive rebellion.

She wanted Gabe to squeeze his thighs together, lift the reins, and ride around the corral. But clearly he had decided that he’d taken the horse to his limit, so he just slipped off.

Cait pulled back from the window so Gabe wouldn’t see her and crawled back in bed. She lay there till dawn, tears slipping down her face. They were tears of relief, for Sky could be ridden, that was clear, no matter how much longer it took to get him used to a saddle. They were also tears of grief, for the little black colt who had followed her around like a puppy and with whom she’d felt such a strong bond, was no longer hers. He had been no one’s after the lion’s attack, for he’d trusted no one. But now, he was Gabe’s, heart and soul. Oh, Cait would eventually ride Sky, she was sure. The horse would always have an affection for her. But Gabe had healed him.

She gradually realized that along with the relief and loss, she was feeling a deep longing. That oneness she had seen, that wordless communication Gabe had achieved with Sky: she wanted it for herself with Gabe. It was what she had wanted the other day. Her feelings for Gabe went far beyond physical desire. She wanted to give her whole self to him and at the same time experience his surrender to her. She wanted his body; she couldn’t deny that. But more than that, she wanted his heart and soul so that she could give him hers in return.

There was no way to tell him, of course. But at least she knew he valued their friendship. If she could get over her embarrassment, then friendship was a place to start. Maybe with time and patience, something more would be possible.

* * * *

Cait had expected that when Gabe came in for breakfast he would be bursting to tell everyone of his success. Instead, he sat quietly at the table letting the conversation flow around him. When Cait glanced over at him from time to time, he looked dazed, as though he was in another world. He probably was, she realized, the private world of himself and his horse.

After breakfast, however, when Michael went out to see the horses in the far pasture and Elizabeth and Sadie went to work in the garden, Gabe stayed behind over a last cup of coffee, while Cait cleared the table and began to wash up.

He came up behind her at the sink and handing her his cup, leaned against the counter. “I have something to tell you, Miss Cait,” he said quietly.

So he was going to tell her first, she thought, moved by his thoughtfulness.

“This morning I rode Sky. Wal, maybe rode isn’t the right word,” he drawled with a self-deprecating smile. “But I was on his back for a full three minutes and I think he would have let me walk him around the corral. I didn’t want to push him too far, though.”

Cait had already decided that she wouldn’t tell Gabe she’d seen him, so she put as surprised and thrilled a look on her face, as if she was finding out for the first time.

“Oh, Mr. Hart, that is wonderful! I can’t believe that after all this time it has finally happened.”

“He’d come to trust me, but I wasn’t sure myself how far that trust would go,” Gabe admitted. “Anyway, I wanted to tell you first before I told your Da, because he is your horse.”

“Thank you, Mr. Hart. It must have been hard to keep it to yourself this morning,” she added with a smile.

“It was all so new, I really couldn’t find the words for it, to tell you the truth. I’ve tamed many horses but never one so badly hurt as Sky nor one that meant as much to me,” Gabe confessed.

“When do you think you will ride him again?”

“I’ll see what happens when I am on his back tomorrow. If he is calm, then I may walk him a little. Going slow has worked well so far.”

“Do you think I will be able to ride him soon?” There was a wistful note in Cait’s voice that she tried to keep out but couldn’t.

“I’d give it a week or so, Miss Cait. I’d like to start you on the lunge line for I haven’t even gotten a saddle on him yet.” Gabe hesitated. “I’d like to keep this a secret for a few days. I know everyone will want to be watching and I want him real secure before we have an audience.”

“I won’t say a word, Mr. Hart. Thank you for sharing the secret with me. I’m sure it meant a lot to you to finally be able to ride him.”

“It sure was something, Miss Cait,” said Gabe with a wide smile.

* * * *

“It sure was something.” Lord, but he was hopeless with words. But how could he have told her what it felt like to feel so close to the horse? Sometimes there were days when Gabe wished he was one of his horses, so he could communicate their way, and not use words at all. At least she had seemed a little less tongue-tied and embarrassed with him. He’d done the right thing to tell her first.

The next two days he worked Sky in the early morning. The second time he sat the horse, there was the same trembling, but it ended very quickly. Still, he decided to let it go with sitting him. The third morning, Sky stood like any other horse, even looking back at Gabe as if to say, “Okay, I’ve gotten used to this. What next?”

“All right, fella, let’s take a walk.” Gabe lifted the reins and squeezed his legs together and Sky started out in a bouncy walk, shaking his head and whisking his tail. His ears moved back and forth as though he was just waiting for Gabe’s command to trot, having heard it so many times on the lunge line.

“Oh, no, not yet,” Gabe crooned. “We’ll just walk this morning,” and he kept Sky going around in long slow circles until he moved more smoothly. But the next day, after fifteen minutes of walking, Gabe gave the command to trot and they moved easily and happily around the corral.

By the end of the week, Gabe figured it was time to let everyone know of the horse’s progress, so on Friday at breakfast he made the announcement. This time he couldn’t keep from grinning.

“Mr. Burke, I have some good news for you.”

Michael looked over and grinned back, Gabe’s smile was so infectious. “And what might that be, boyo?”

“I think Miss Cait has got herself a very good saddle horse in Night Sky.”

“You’ve ridden him, then?” asked Michael, a look of amazement on his face. “I knew he was coming along, but I was still afraid the feel of someone on his back would be too much for him.”

“So was I, Mr. Burke. The first time was hard for him, but now he’s trotting around like a circus pony.”

“I knew you could do it, Gabe,” said Sadie, giving him a quick hug.

“Well, Cait, what have you got to say to all this?” asked her father. “I’d think you’d be doin’ a jig, ye’d be so happy.”

“I am, Da. But Gabe told me on Monday that he’d ridden Sky,” she added shyly.

“That was a thoughtful thing to do, Gabe,” said Elizabeth with an appreciative smile.

“I wasn’t trying to keep anything a secret, ma’am, but I didn’t want too many people around while I was working this week. But this morning, I want you all to come down to the corral,” he said, getting up.

“We’ll be down in a few minutes, Gabe,” said Elizabeth.

Sadie and Cait were on the corral fence when Michael and Elizabeth arrived. When Gabe led Sky out, Elizabeth exclaimed: “Why, he looks wonderful under Serena’s blanket, Gabe.”

“Yes, ma’am. I haven’t put a saddle on him yet. I thought I’d ride him first and then go back to the lunge line to get him used to a saddle.”

“Oh, Michael, he has always been one of my favorites,” exclaimed Elizabeth as she watched Gabe mount and put Sky through his paces. “Do you remember when he came in last spring all torn and bloody? And look at him now!”

Michael was looking. Sky’s head was up and he was walking proudly around the corral. His black coat was gleaming, his hooves were polished, and the white ‘stars’ sprinkled all over were so white they seemed to be shining.

“He’s pleased with himself,” said Michael, smiling at the sight of him.

“And so he should be, Michael,” Elizabeth said. “He’s done such hard work with the horse.”

“No,
a ghra,
I meant Sky. I’ve always believed that a horse
wants
to be the best he can be. Frost was that way. She always wanted a challenge, she was always wantin’ to work with me, whether it was racin’ or paradin’.”

“I can’t believe Gabe kept this to himself all week. I would have been dying to tell.”

“Sure and he did mention it to Cait, didn’t he, and wasn’t that interesting?” said Michael, a twinkle in his eye.

“It is her horse, Michael.”

“There is that,” he admitted.

“But you think there is something more?”

“I’m not sure what I’m thinking,
a ghra.
But I can’t help noticing the way Cait’s been watching both horse and rider.”

“Do you think Gabe would be a good man for her?” asked his wife.

“If she loved him, I couldn’t think of a better. Let’s just hope it stays peaceful so she has a chance to find out.”

“Mackie wants you in the house, Juan,” announced Canty as he sat down at the bunkhouse table for supper.

“Now?” Chavez asked calmly as he spooned gravy onto his biscuits.

“He said right away.”

“
Mierde
,” Chavez murmured as he pushed the bench back.

He was shown into the dining room where Mackie and his wife were just finishing their supper. “Sit down, Juan. There are some enchiladas left and I’m sure they are better than your bunkhouse fare.”

“
Gracias, señor, señora
.” At least he’d get something hot to eat, he thought as he filled his plate.

“Why don’t you go into the parlor, my dear, and I’ll join you there for coffee later,” Mackie told his wife.

“Of course, Nelson,” she said with an obedient nod.

“How about some beer to wash that down?” Mackie called out to Maria to bring them a pitcher of beer and a bottle of tequila. He poured them both a shot glass of the tequila and a mug of beer.

“To the Burke ranch, Chavez, which will sooner or later be mine,” he said with a grin. Juan wiped his mouth and lifted his shot glass.

Mackie downed the tequila and took a few swallows of beer. Juan followed suit, though he was careful to take only a small swallow of the tequila. He wanted a clear head.

“So, I saw you followed my orders and kept Miss Hart entertained.”

“
Si, señor
.”

“I also saw her brother’s face when he saw the two of you together,” continued Mackie with a satisfied smile.

“Señor Hart does not appreciate my attentions to his sister.”

“Good,” said Mackie, pouring himself another shot. “We’ve almost got him where we want him.”

“And where is that,
señor?”
asked Chavez quietly, although he was beginning to think he knew.

“Gabe Hart has a reputation for being good with a gun. In fact, I’ve heard a rumor that he rode with the Regulators over in Lincoln County. I don’t want him getting in my way, Chavez, but another murder would be too suspicious. He’s got to be goaded into drawing on you.”